I don’t know what the fuck Toni Braxton was thinking when she put this outfit on, but I can only assume it had something to do with her wanting the world to see exactly what her vagina looked like, bush included…despite the fact that she doesn’t have the body needed to pull this kind of thing off….but was so committed to the cause that she just threw her shame away and ran with it and really any bitch willing to expose her cunt, even if it’s in some PVC shit is good enough to at least try to jerk off to, because they did their best to give you something to jerk off to and even if it was a failure, it’s better than seeing a bitch in a snowsuit.
It’s Friday, I have no patience for Jessica Alba or her stupid flashy outfit…I see girls like this everywhere, you know who take style to the next level of bad and try to squeeze into every fucking possible popular trend….it’s usually tacky fucking immigrants who don’t have much money or a fucking clue, and they’ve just managed to save up enough money to get the bootleg version of whatever is popular and in efforts to fit in they put it all on at the same fucking time like some kind of fucking clown, only Jessica Alba has enough money to know better. She’s got people to stop this kind of thing and should have people who advise her to flash her pussy every once in a while….but unfortunately, they dress her like Christmas ornaments instead…..and no one fucking cares…not even me….
Lisa Rinna is old, doctored, and pretty fucking fit. She’s in this month’s playboy, I haven’t seen it yet, but with that vagina on her face, I guess there’s really no point in seeing her actual pussy, it’ll just be some deflated mess in her panties that will just let me down and my life is filled with enough of that, so I don’t want to deal with it right now. You know keep the dream of a collagen pussy alive.
I think these pics are from the weekend and hit yesterday, I’m slow. Deal with it.
Hey Fat Chicks, if you’re wondering how she stays fit, watch this video….
Mel B is lookin’ pretty fit. Yep. That’s really all I have to say about that one. I’ve only got a few hours of sleep in me and my brain is muddy, like her skin color and texture of her Eddie Murphy Baby Mother pussy.
Megan Fox went out on a walk somewhere irrelevant in some black tank top showing off a set of perky tits. Now I don’t care for this girl and think she is overrated and I see through her attempt at being a sex symbol, whether it’s saying Jenna Jameson is her idol, or that she’s a bisexual or any of the other shit she spews, I know that she goes home every night to David from 90210 and that’s about has about as much sex appeal as any girl you’ve had sex with, which isn’t very much. It’s obvious that she’s insecure, has low self esteem and her whole act is nothing but an act, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t let her sodomize me with household objects but only if David from 90210 was there to participate. He’s so dreamy.
I am one of the few people I know who don’t think Marisa Miller should be a Victoria Secret/SI Swimsuit model because she has an old lookin’ face. Everyone gets mad at me when I say that I just don’t feel it when I see pics of her naked or half naked, they call me gay and an idiot and unrealistic because they know I’d die to fuck her, what they don’t know is that I’d die to fuck anyone at this point, dead or alive, it’s got that bad. My whole thing is bring in some new blood, you know girls who haven’t had their period for more than a couple of years, since I’ve always been told that real models are supposed to be scouted at 14 and getting huge jobs by 16, because they aren’t legal to have nude pictures of on your computer, but they are legal to masturbate to, but instead I get this 30 something fitness addict with fake tits and a tight body who is obviously hotter than the average chick, but not quite as fresh as new talent, I mean just think about how many times that pussy’s been wiped, licked, fingered, fucked to get it ahead, touched, infected, rubbed up against abrasive fabrics, inserted with vacuum cleaners to save her career from unwanted pregnancy, it is pussy that has seen better days, it is pussy I’d like to see replaced.
That said here she is showing off part of her work out regime, since her body’s really all she has left and bitch needs to make sure to keep it if she wants to be kept around, and now you can go imitate these work-out positions when jerking off, because I know you don’t agree with my opinion of her and everything she does turn you on and jerking off is better when you really get into it. O r you could just buy your wife this magazine encouraging her to get off her dumpy ass to make her worth fucking again, but that’s not going to work out for you, it’ll just make her mad, trust me I’ve tried before giving up on her. Good times.
I always wanted to punch Jenny McCarthy in the face, which may not be saying much since I want to punch most women in the face, I think it’s one of those wanting to do what you’re not allowed to do, you know the same reason your 15 year old daughter is rippin’ lines and sucking two dicks at a time while skipping school, only a lot more angry. The reason I wanted to punch her in the face wasn’t just because she had fake tits and a pussy, but because she was fucking annoying. I’d see her yelling aggressively at me on TV back in the 90s used to piss me off in a big way and I’d want to shove that big horse head in the motherfucking trough and hold her under the water until I felt her stop resisting, knowing that enough oxygen was deprived from her brain to leave her in the corner playing with rocks and drooling, calm and not bouncing off the walls screaming at me, like her autistic son, but her body is pretty fucking spectacular considering all she’s been through and how old she is, so seeing her in some bikini pictures works for me since her screechy annoying yelps can’t be heard, but the real thing that makes these pictures hot is that this couple look like fraternal twins and everyone loves seeing or thinking about twins fucking, it’s next masturbation we can envy since we’ve exhausted every masturbation method possible to keep things fresh and don’t have a twin to feel like we’re fucking ourselves.
So bitch is rockin a bikini on the beaches of the Virgin Islands, which is kind of appropriate because you’re jerking off to these pics and well, let’s face it, fucking yourself doesn’t count as losing your virginity….I don’t know why I bother with the you’re a virgin jokes, they really aren’t funny but I guess funny isn’t really my thing…
The reality is that I write this site for hot chicks and if you’re reading this and not a hot chick, you’re seriously fucking up my masterplan. I figure hot chicks like celebrity shit and I don’t so it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make in attempts for getting them to fly me out to Virgin Islands or really any tropical place, including their bathrooms, because compared to the shit hole I shit in, the local gas station bathroom is luxury, to watch them frolick around in a bikini, but only because the hot chicks I am interested and who I am writing for are also rich and willing to support me.
This is all part of my hot chick brainwashing quest, because I am tired of seeing hot chicks with guys I consider losers, even though they are good looking and have money and cars and buy them nice things and treat them better than I will, because Chachi motherfuckers and their magnums of Grey Goose with their gel haired dropping jokes from some shitty movie they just saw or doing the Borat are the people who deserve to be virgins.
Here are some Anna Kournikova Bikini pictures, because although she’s getting older, her tight Russian body in a bikini never gets old to me.
The thing I like about Russian chicks is that they have low standards. They are hot and aren’t looking for much more than food on the table and citizenship to a new prosperous country. They grew up as communists with rationed bread and toilet paper and the freedom we have to go and buy as much bread as we want is appealing enough for them to fall in love with you, have your babies and marry you. You don’t need to be famous to bang these bitches, you just need a passport where as North American girls are all materialistic and shit and want their good lookin’, rich, provider of a man who treats them like shit.
I guess the point of all this is to say, start saving your money, because a trip to Russia will make you feel like the rockstar you always wanted to be and maybe you’ll be able to bring home something nice for your mother who is scared you’re going to die alone and a virgin. At least she cares.
Here are some pictures of Anna Kournikova, the least successful tennis player but probably the best thing to happen to tennis because she wasn’t some brute lesbian grunting on the court, but a dainty little russian who we all pretended her gasps and grunts were sounds of her orgasms. Nothing like shutting your eyes and turning up the volume to a tennis match, that shit’s like porno and we all know how you feel about porn.
Thanks to the dude who sent these in, I’ll be your mail order bride, but I doubt you’d be able to stomach my stink. Cuddles.
Comments Off on I am – Audrina Partridge from the Hills in her Bikini of the Day
I have never watched The Hills, mainly because I have a penis…and because I am not a 13 year old girl or some kind of homosexual, even though homosexuals seem to be popping up everywhere. It’s like it’s really cool to be gay or someshit. When I was younger, faggots would stay in the closet for fear of people hating them or bashing them, so they’d get married have kids be miserable through the 90s, sneak out on “business trips” and brokeback mountain camping trips, give their wife AIDS then by the time the year 2000 hit, Gay becomes cool, Tom leaves his wife for some dude, she’s devastated and has AIDS, his kids get all fucked up, his daughter disowns men and starts eating box and his son becomes a tranny and the gay movement continues because all these gay kids have gay fathers and it becomes one big “Gay is Okay and socially accepted and it’s wrong to beat up fags and drag them behind pick-up trucks or leave them in ditches to die because we hate gays” party and I guess that’s okay because it’s natures way of population control and because without fags we wouldn’t have bull-dykes and I love getting dirty looks from bull-dykes who hate me for having a penis, it makes me feel like I am an animal in the jungle and she’s about either going pounce and rip my penis off and shove it down my throat, or invite me to go camping at the Vegan conference…
I went to a bar the other night, that used to be a dive and I hadn’t been for a while. I got drunk and realized that 80 percent of the men were poofters, and although the place was filled with chicks who were obviously too good looking to talk to me, they were all dancing on their tables and shit with dudes who thought they were Britney Spears and I felt like the place had turned into a gay bar. so I got drunk because that’s really the only time I feel good.
The point of all this is to say that I don’t watch The Hills….it’s about rich sluts from California that everyone fell in love with when they were in high school, it was scripted reality TV and this bitch Audrina Partridge, who I’ve never heard of, is one of them Now she’s on your screen in a bikini….have fun because her body is pretty tight, her razor burn hot and I’d totally do her.