Modern Day Journalism
 
 

Archive for the Travis Barker Category

2011

24

Jan

Travis Barker Hides Bitches in the Backseat of the Day

Not only does Travis Barker survive plane crashes that tormented his friends enough to make them go into a drug relapse and overdose, despite having everything to live for….but he also hides bitches in the backseat of his car, which has been proven to be ineffective if you actually want to get away with the crime, it’s the whole reason the trunk was invented…..

I guess the real mystery in all this, if you care about Travis Barker and where he’s sticking his dick, is who this girl is, cuz it doesn’t look like the fat playboy bitch he was married to and had a shitty reality show with, what a fucking scandal, and by scandal I mean waste of our time and energy. Fuck this guy and the drums he made millions off of.

But here are the pics anyway….cuz I guess you gotta almost respect a dude who treats a fuck slut like a fuck slut by hiding her from the media out of shame and embarrassment that he “hit” that…unless of course she’s dead and he’s disposing the body….people trying to be lowkey always draw more attention to themselves….

I blame survival guilt…

Posted in:Travis Barker

2008

24

Oct

Travis Barker After the Great Leg Fire of the Day

These are the first real pictures of Travis Barker after a month stint in the hospital trying to deal with the horrible burns that he got after being in a plane crash that killed 5 people, just not the right people, I’m talking to you DJ AM. I am just bugging, I don’t wish death upon anyone, I figure it’s just nice to see that this mother fucker is out walking around because I think he’s a real talent. No one plays the drums quite like him and after being in hospital for a month, these pictures could be seen as inspirational and gross, because if I was burned on half my body, I’d make an effort to not advertise that shit, like the time I was at a restaurant and a dude with one of those voicebox things pulled out his fucking throat piece to eat right next to me, making me enjoy my shitty meal a hell of a lot less. We get it, life goes on and we have to deal with our shit, but trying to accommodate to the people around you is just the right thing to do…..I am talking to you guy who lives in the building next door and who insists on walking around in pantyhose……with your blinds open….smiling….cuz you know we’re all watching you in disgust….and you feel like you’re on some kind of stage performing for your fucking fans…..stop.

Either way, as Travis limps in his silly slippers, with his legs that once was covered in ink, DJ AM is touring with Jay Z, banging Mandy Moore and getting all kinds of sympathy from the world, so I guess he is the winner of the plane crash survival bet they had….and I guarantee at least one Barker fan is pouring gasoline on his leg right now, to simulate this body mod, since all the Barker fully body tattoo suit he copied is now pretty much obsolete…..

Posted in:Fire|Plane Crash|Travis Barker

2008

24

Sep

Some Dude Throwing a DJ AM and Travis Barker Benefit Concert of the Day

I hate to break it to the dude who invited me to some DJ AM and Travis Barker benefit concert, but the truth is that DJ AM and Travis Barker are not a fucking cause. They aren’t sick children, or African Aids Babies, or Orphans, or Cancer. They are two rich dudes who happen to be fucked up right now because they survived a plane crash and are all burned up.

When I read that the proceeds from the event were going to go to the two involved in the accident, I laughed. DJ AM charges something like 50,000 to 100,000 dollars a show, he does 6 a week. He owns a management company that manages a bunch of DJs that get paid insane amounts of money like DJ AM, only he gets a management fee per gig. He owns nightclubs and dudes a millionaire a bunch of times over. As for Barker, he was in Blink 182 and got in at the right time, right when they hit big. He owns that clothing line all these faggot emo kids wears and I am sure is involved in other shit and has millions of dollars banked a bunch of times over too.

It’s times like these where I find the world a really horrible place. These fuckers will recover, they will not be financially strapped, it’s not like they can’t afford to take a year off work or that the shit they have lined up doesn’t bring them in monthly revenue and maybe the money from any benefit event is better suited for people who fucking need it.

I am offended anyone would suggest giving AM more money, dude’s already made way too much for what he offers the world and as this dude is just jumping on the TRVS/AM In our Prayers bullshit train. He’s a fuckin’ DJ get over it. It’s not like this motherfucker saved anyone but himself. He isn’t a fuckin’ hero for jumping out of a burning plane for fear of leaving all that money behind if he dies.

That’s why the money should be sent to me.

TRAVIS BARKER & DJ AM SUPPORT CONCERT
SHOW YOUR SUPPORT!! WE ARE LOOKING FOR ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET FROM ALL THE FANS !!!

FOR YOU THAT DONT KNOW , TRAVIS BARKER AND DJ AM WERE INVOLVED IN A AIR PLANE CRASH IN SOUTH CAROLINA AND THEY HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS ALL OVER THERE BODYS FOUR PASSENGERS WERE KILLED

HELP SUPPORT

AND FAMOUS STARS AND STRAPS TO HELP OUT

WE HAVE CONTACTED DJ AM’S PRESS TEAM AND ARE WORKING WITH THEM AT THE MOMENT

ALSO CONTACTED TRAVIS’S AGENT AS WELL

EVENT DATE: SHOOTING FOR MID APRIL 2009

THE BANDS THAT JIMMY HAS CONTACTED ALREADY

: THE GAME
: METRO STATION
: BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE
: DJ X-HAIL
: KICKSTART TRAGEDY
: BAM MAGERA
: THE LAST GOOD NIGHT

AND MANY MORE

ALL THE PROCEEDS WILL BE GIVEN TRAVIS / ADAM ” DJ AM” GOLDSTEIN

WE ARE LOOKING FOR MANY MORE ACTS ! DJ’S / BANDS & ARTIST

THANKS GO TO EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTS THIS

I HOPE EVERYONE CAN MAKE THIS EVENT

WHEN THE DATE GETS RELEASED THE TICKETS WILL GO ON SALE @ TICKETMASTER

Posted in:DJ AM|Travis Barker

2008

23

Sep

Shanna Moakler Leaving the Hospital After Visiting Travis Barker of the Day

I once spilled a pot of boing water on my belly when making mash potatoes because it was all I could afford a few years ago. Within ten minutes I was in shock, convulsing on the ground with a fever and what felt like I was having a heart attack. I didn’t go to the hospital, but got the courage to stand up about 2 days later, with a stomach that looked like it had been raped by some kind of farm equipment. It was blistered and bleeding and made it impossible to move and I blame that burn for the beach body I don’t have because the pain I felt triggered something in my brain that made me never want to do physical activity again, but instead decided to take up emotional eating because I realized that injury was self-inflicted, and could only blame myself and feel sorry for myself while hating myself.

The point of that story, is to clearly state that I was burned by boiling water and was a total fuckin’ bitch about things and shit looked disgusting. I didn’t recover from it for months and I don’t even think I have scars to prove it ever happened, but I know that vile sight that scared girls from sleeping with me because they thought it was some form of herpes, has nothing on what Travis Barker looks like right now.

So here are some pictures of his baby momma, Shanna Moakler leaving the hospital distressed after seeing her man’s lesions, and not the lesions she is used to seeing ever since he fucked Paris Hilton and that Groupie in New Jersey. This shit is pretty serious and the fact that she’s wearing Hospital gear to see him for fear of infecting his damaged immune system proves it, even though I am sure she’s an emotional wreck to begin with and the kind of person who has the same reaction when she breaks a nail…..

The good news in all this is that AM wrote on his facebook page “I’M ALIVE”, which means in a few months I can go back to making fun of him. It would have been a great tragedy if I lost the punchline to most of my really bad jokes.

Posted in:Hospital|Plane Crash|Shanna Moakler|Travis Barker

2008

20

Sep

DJ AM and Travis Barker Were Critically Injured in a Private Jet Crash of the Day

I know I make fun of DJ AM all the time, I call him gayer than bicycle shorts and it’s gone on for so long that he has personally told me and people I know that I am a pain in the ass, and when I met him a couple of times when he was randomly DJing events locally, he was always a decent guy to me, so I almost felt bad about teasing him, but continued doing it anyway because I am an asshole.

Just last night I was talking to a dude who was going to bring in these guys to play a show here and who was telling me how AM just got hired as Kanye’s new DJ and despite popular belief, I never talk about AM in my everyday life so it was weird to wake up this morning to a text message from my German whore fucker, saying that AM almost died in a plane crash and I felt responsible for possibly wishing death upon him in various posts over the years. The truth is that I don’t hate AM and I don’t think he deserves to die, or be in plane crashes. I just thought he was accessible enough and an easy target.

Either way, thanks to some miracle, probably the same miracle that got AM rich for spinning records in the first place, AM and Barker survived with a whole lot of burns to their bodies and are in critical condition but Travis Barker’s assistant and bodyguard died and so did 2 other people. I guess there’s more info to come from this story and despite my constant teasing, I wish both these dudes the best of luck and a speedy recovery.

I blame Shanna Moakler and just don’t understand why something like this doesn’t happen to someone who deserves it, like the stars of The Hills or something…..ya know!?

The pilot, Sarah Lemmon who died was a woman…I don’t trust a woman to drive a car, mow the lawn, pretty much do anything let alone fly a fuckin’ plane, this is an example of how letting women out of the kitchen and into the work force doing man jobs just doesn’t work. AM and Barker should have got off the plane the second she greeted them with the flight plan before they took off…I know I would. I’m just saying….what? too soon?

See the Plane’s Wreckage and Read the Story
HERE

Posted in:DJ AM|Plane Crash|Travis Barker

2007

28

Sep

I am – Soulja Boy Follow-Up Post of the Day

So Travis Barker is a fucking amazing drummer. Dude’s a fucking star and I think he makes Soulja Boy worth listening to….I wrote a post when drunk about the Soulja Boy movement and how I don’t fucking understand why everyone is going crazy over it, inspired by being in a club and seeing the whole place scream when shit went on, like a group of sheep at feeding time, and when I walked out of the club I saw a group of people performing it on the street. I was just videotaping them innocently and one of them got in my face about it…well after posting my story, I got some backlash from the star of the video – Period Pants.

This is what she said:

bahahahaha!
YOUR A FAT FUCK
but i love you for filming that for us! thanksss
hoe yeah fun is fun my friend
clearly you find fun off other people’s drunken escapades
getting your own life is crucial.
oh yeah.. and next time talk shit to our face because your post… as funny as it was i must say
was nothing but lies to big up yourself
not that you need to get any bigger…
love you forever!
period pants and teeth

My response is that the shit I wrote is how it went down whether they remember it or not. They were too busy being idiots in public and getting mad at people like me for watching their public scene. That’s like a whore who dresses like a whore getting mad about dudes lookin at them. Reality is that I don’t need my own life, when I have idiots like these people to laugh at and calling me fat is about as innovative as calling a black person black or a retarded kid a retard. I don’t expect people to be that creative though, especially people who are into Soulja Boy….just keep on following the pack, motherfucker.

Posted in:Soulja Boy|Travis Barker|Unsorted