I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

24

Apr

Mischa Barton’s Shitty Sex Scene of the Day

So Mischa Barton is trying to revitalize her career after being a drunken useless whore with fat thighs who was the worst actor on the show the OC which says a lot about how bad she is at acting considering the show was the equivalent of a Soap Opera in quality and Soap Operas remind me of some shitty college student video project or porn without the fucking. The movie is called Closing the Ring and I don’t know when it hit theaters or if it hit theaters but I do know that Mischa got topless in it and I’ve got the clip of her in action.

The one thing I hate about sex scenes in movies is that they aren’t realistic, sex is supposed to be dirty and sloppy and awkward, it’s never thei gay romantic shit where you gaze into your lovers eyes and tell them how much they mean to you while you spend 15 minutes kissing her in a loose fitting top that gives the audience a glimpse of her breast before dude has his way with her in positions that just aren’t real. I’ve always said that if I ever right a movie, the sex will be real, there will be penetration, none of this high school grinding shit that gets girls horny and makes guys feel like they can never deliver the goods proper because they aren’t gay actors and actually want to stick our dick’s inside.

I guess all that matters is that Hollywood sex scenes do it for you because you finally get to see some starlet you like in compromising positions and you probably don’t care about how fuckin’ bullshit the whole scenario is, because you just want to get tits and you don’t let things like Soap Opera caliber performances upset you. Unfortunately, I do and I hate Mischa Barton more than I did 5 minutes ago.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Sex Scene|Topless

2008

24

Apr

FHM’s Top 100 Hot Chick List

People like lists and I am not sure why but I do know that online Top 10, Top 15, Top Anything lists do well. If this site was a Top 10 site, my traffic would be through the fuckin’ roof and that kinda makes me want to start doing these kinds of lists because they seem pretty easy to compile since no real logic goes into them, they are solely based on opinion.

I like to think they are successful because we have no real thought process of our own and like shit to be served on a platter because we are lazy and so the next time we are with a group of friends we have something to talk about or debate because coming up with our own topics of conversation is hard and every dude can get down to a who’s hotter conversation like we were 14 and talking about the girls in our class.

I don’t see why knowing the Top 100 girls according to a magazine or according to anyone is relevant to anyone’s life. The truth is that all these magazines and sites compile these lists, get a lot of buzz about who they choose and include and the order they put them in. I just find it a waste of time to argue whether Alba is hotter than Britney or Lohan or Cuthbert, the fact is we’d fuck all of them and their order of hotness is pretty useless to me since I would fuck all of them, their home phone numbers and emails would be a little more useful because at least then I could use my charm to seduce them and by seduce I mean call the police and get me arrested for stalking them.

I always get in the argument that if any girl gets naked, no matter how disgusting she is, guys will watch and probably enjoy the show, so to say that one bitch is hotter than the next is bullshit because what I find hot, my friends don’t find hot, so seeing a list like this is pretty much a whole lot of bullshit, kinda retarded but since everyone does them, I’d rather be talking about FHM’s than some shitty men’s site, because at least FHM is a real publication and not a whole bunch of cheesy virgin dudes behind a screen….

To See the Entire List You’ll Just Have To….
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Megan Fox in a Black Dress

Megan Fox in a Grey Dress

Megan Fox in a Red Dress

Megan Fox Plays With Her Boyfriend’s Boner

Posted in:FHM|Hot Chicks|Top 100

2008

24

Apr

Karla Edecan NSFW Mexican Sex Tape of the Day

Her name is Karla Edecan, she’s a Mexican Cheerleader and she has a sex tape. I am not like my black friend who always looked the other direction when a black girl would get up on stage to strip. He thought that shit was going against all his people had gone through and that disgusted him. I feel like seeing a hot Mexican chick getting fucked brings me back to my roots and doesn’t go against much and feel like every single girl should be documenting their sex so that I can get a glimpse into it as that is the closest I will ever get to fuckin’ them….

Either way, she lost her deal promoting the Mexican phone company which from what I heard is just two messenger donkeys, but it’s still a big deal for her I guess….and I am surprised considering everyone has a fuckin’ sex tape these days. We shouldn’t be slapping these girls hands to punish them, we should be inserting dildos in their asses and filming the shit because that is the next level of entertainment…at least according to me.

Posted in:Karla Edecan|Mexican|Sex Tape

2008

23

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I did my good deed for the year today. It’s actually the first good deed I’ve done in a long time because people are generally afraid of me and stay as far away from me as possible, but today I was the only one around and this woman with huge post-pregnancy tits was trying to get her baby up a flight of stairs and asked for my help. I never say no to a big set of tits despite the danger I was putting my near death self and her baby into so I grabbed the stroller and did my thing. She didn’t really appreciate when I asked if she breast fed but still politely answered yes because you don’t want to fuck with a homeless lookin’ dude holding onto your baby carriage. When I said that the baby was lucky was when she grabbed the carriage herself and finished the job, but I think it still counts and helping and I got me some fuckin’ good karma points which comes in handy when you spend your days being a cocksucker to everyone on the internet.

Here are my links….

Check Out a Bunch of Galleries of Sluty Party Chicks
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Nicole Richie Lost her Pregnancy Tits
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Mariah Carey Has Record Breaking Cleavage
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Fun From Japan
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Kelly Brooke is a Single slut
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I Don’t Know Who This Bitch is, But Her Nipples Are Hard and She is Black. That’
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Webcam Sluts Here
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Use This to Get Sex, Because You Are a Loser and Can’t Do That on Your Own
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This Japanese Chick Looks Like a Real Doll
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More Galleries of Real Girls
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Christina Milian Gallery
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Let’s Hope She Writes About Her First Orgasm
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Paris Hilton Banned From Russian Hotel for Being a Diseased Whore, or Something to That Effect
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Kelly Clarkson Likes to Let Her Cunt Hang Out, Even When She Has Company Over
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Find Girls to Fuck
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More Miranda Kerr
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Katie Price Celebrates Being a Slut
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Amateur Strip Down of the Day
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I Want to Punch Tila Tequila in the Face and by Punch I Mean Fuck….
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Pam is a Hot, Naked Latina Chick
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Find Your Porn
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Nikki Sluts it Up on the Web Cam
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Lookin Good Sweetheart Singing Some Like a Virgin or Something Like that….
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Why Kids Move Out
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Amanda Righetti is Some No Name, But She’s Lookin Fine
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Top 10 Huge Natural Boob Topless Scenes
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More Amy Winehouse Insanity
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Rinaldo’s Girlfriend Topless and Posing….
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Some Guy Cleans Out His Chick’s Anus
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2 Guys and a Horse….Can’t Be Safe….But Funny…Thanks Goldemberg…For Ruining My Day…
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Vote Me For Best Blog in Montreal…Because I am….
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Here are 14 Celebrity Sluts Who Like Guns
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Kim Kardashian’s Camel Toe
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Lynne Spears is Disappointed in Her Slut of a Daughter but I am Not…I Love Teenage Pregnancy
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These Drawings of Sluts Are Hotter Than Most Sluts You See in Real Life…Maybe Cuz You Never Leave Your House…
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Some Sluts Wrestling in Jelly
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People Are Strange
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OJ Simpson May Be on The Celebrity Apprentice. Hopefully One of the Challenges Involves Kiling Two People and Getting Away With It
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The Fucking Japanese People Think of Everything, I Swear
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Korean Karaoke Video
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Ashley Simpson Attempts to Sing and Dance on Leno
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Jessica Sirio is Hot and Hanging Out in Her Bikini
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Learn to Last Longer in Bed, Because a Minute and a Half Don’t Cut It
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Learn Some Sex Positions
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From Photobucket

Some Asian Getting Naked For You
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A Whole Lot of Half Naked Chicks
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Some Pimply Dude and Some Hairy Chick Document Their Sex Life
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

23

Apr

Ali Lohan is Not Hot of the Day

Here’s ugly duckling Ali Lohan out and about wherever the fuck she is. I am not sure why I am posting it, but she’s ugly. It reminds me of this thin-lipped long chinned lesbian who used to play Rugby and who I always lost to in beer chugging contests at one of the local bars I used to frequent. I never really got over that loss, but the real thing I never got over was that the thin-lipped long chinned rugby playing lesbian wasn’t actually a lesbian and would constantly have dirty man sex with guys she met at the same bar I used to frequent. I never could grasp how a dude could fuck a chick who looked like a dude and acted like a dude as she burped, farted and challenged us to arm wrestling matches like some kind of tomboy who was more boy than the average tomboy , but I guess guys have no standards and like a chick they can kick it with. I am not one of those guys. I remember laughing in her face this day I saw her wearing a dress and she punched me in the face. I bled and she jumped on the table and roared like some kind of wrestler…a wrestler who looked a lot like Ali Lohan.

Posted in:Ali Lohan|Ugly

2008

23

Apr

From the Forum of the Good

Forums are for losers, people who have forums are bigger losers so go to the forum and take advantage of all the shit a bunch of losers have uploaded. Truth is, I like the losers in the forum, they are a good kind of loser and we’ve finally landed a girl who poses in her underwear for us…Clementine, I’m talking to you….

Here’s a glimpse into what’s going on in the Forum…


Goldfrapp – Happiness
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The Rapture – Out of the Races
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Linkin Park Acoustic Christmas
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Air – Moon Safari 10th Anniversary Special Edition
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Pre-Release Sasha – The emFire Collection
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Allman Brothers Box Set
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Art Brut – Bang Bang Rock and Roll
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Brian Setzer and the Tomcats
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New Young Pony Club – Fantastic Playroom
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Hot Chip – Coming On Strong
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The Complete Stone Roses
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White Stripes — Self-Titled
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Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs of All TIme
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Labor In Vain – Feeling Herself
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Some Meat Curtains
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More Random Wenches
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Asses That You’ll Never Bang
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Keeley Hazel (NSFW)
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———–Software————-

Kingdia Video Converter
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ZipGenius
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———-pics————

McDonalds Makes You Fat
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McTerrorist
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Natalie Portman Golden Shower
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————-video———–

Get a Chicken Samich and Some Waffle Fries!
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—————other shit —————–

Jordin Sparks is a fat Bitch
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Who is This Slut and Does Anyone Have More of Her?
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Which Girl Would YOU Choose?
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Suckle on My Teet You Sick Fuck….
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Sex Injuries….
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Italian Porn Request
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Posted in:Forum

2008

23

Apr

Gisele Bundchen’s Tit in DT Magazine

I just wrote about how Alessandra Ambrosio being a pregnant Brazilian with big pregnant lady tits is nothing to get off to, but Brazilian tranny porn is. Part of me hates saying that this slut Gisele is a tranny because everyone says that shit all the time and it’s repetitive, but the truth is that no one I know finds her hot and like to reference Leonardo DiCaprio’s time with her as an experimental time in his life. I also like to say that she reminds Tom Brady of the those college football initiation days, when he would shove a broom stick up his ass while jerking off for his teammates before showering in their cum in the lockerroom before washing up together and goin’ out for a beer to fuck bitches together….Either way, this tranny has a tit and it’s distracting us from her busted up mug, so enjoy it, cuz it’s not gay if she looks like a girl, at least that’s what everyone I know who’s been sucked off by trannies have always said to me and I believe them….because they have no reason to lie to me, it’s like once you openly tell someone you’ve got off to a tranny you’ve pretty much divulged your deepest darkest secret and there’s little worse than that…I don’t know what I am talking about but I do hate you…and if that doesn’t make this post better…I don’t know what does.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Photoshoot|Tits

2008

23

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Pregnant Tits of the Day

I love how all these fuckin’ virgins get all excited when a pregnant chick shows up with her cleavage exposed because her tits are miraculously bigger. It’s like seeing a teenage kid who just hit puberty on the beach amongst girls in bikinis. Their excitement makes no fuckin’ sense to me, maybe it’s because I know the condition her pussy will be in in 9 months, or maybe it’s cuz I don’t like lookin’ at fat chicks with big tits because I don’t like fat tits or maybe it’s because big tits usually mean sloppy asses. The truth is that getting off to a pregnant chick is some twisted shit and a losers sport. I have a hard enough time fucking a hooker knowing she slammed a guy an hour before me so thinking about a dude beating me to the prize and the proof is showing in her fat uterus that I am trying to cum inside really messes with my head.

The good news is that despite how twisted I am and how much I enjoy watching girls breast feed their babies in public, I can die knowing that I am not as sexually fucked up as I am accused of while all these other sick seemingly normal virgins fucks are jerking off to knocked up Brazilian bitches and I’m at home watching Brazilian tranny porn, because there’s nothing more normal than watching a hot chick with a dick getting sucked off by another hot chick.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Pregnant|Tits

2008

23

Apr

Academy Award Winning Three 6 Mafia’s New Sexy Video of the Day

There’s nothing I like more than seeing a group of hip hop stars who have won an Academy Award come out with a legendary tune with such inspirational lyrics like “I like having sex but I’d Rather Get Some Head”.

The video is filled with a bunch of half naked sluts showing off their asses, simulating sex and doing all things strippers do and that’s fine by me. I figure if I was a band all my videos would be pornographic, it’s really what the people want to see and Hip Hop is all part of the reason little white girls are suckin’ dicks in the back of their boyfriend’s mom’s BMW X5.

Posted in:Music Video|Porn|Three 6 Mafia

2008

23

Apr

Natalie Portman Gets Pissed on By a Dog of the Day

Everyone loves Natalie Portman and here she is getting pissed on. It’s like some virgin loser trying to mark her as his territory because he’s obsessed with her and doesn’t want other virgin losers getting too close, only in this case, it’s just a dog who doesn’t give a fuck about her and figures that her ratty ass coat smells like something that deserves to be pissed on. I guess this is funnier than seeing a bitch get shit on by a bird, but it’s not as funny as seeing me piss on Natalie Portman. The truth is that despite being willing to piss on this bitch, I don’t really give a fuck about this bitch, she bores me and when everyone talks about how hot she is it makes me question my sexuality a little, even though I’d be willing to piss on any bitch.

Like this past weekend, I was hanging with some really sleazy guy, who has orgies with his buddies and fucks any pussy that comes his way and dude would freak out even over the most average bitch. I am talking girls who look like moms with big mom asses or teenage girls who hadn’t hit puberty yet. He was on the prowl and every single girl who walked by was a fuckin’ b-girl or worse. Every time a hot girl would walk by and I’d tell him that that’s the kind of pussy he should be staking out, her would say something about how they only want money and designer clothes and are snobby bitches. So I spent the day watching him cat call chicks who looked like dogs and it made me go home thinking there was something wrong with me, because when I get my creep on, I try to make sure it’s for someone worth creeping on where he was just into anything with a pussy, that’s when my fat wife waddled into the room and I realized that I guess I shouldn’t judge him, considering I really have no fuckin’ standards, even though I pretend I do when I am out in public…..

Here’s Natalie Portman getting pissed on…..

Posted in:Dog Piss|Natalie Portman

2008

23

Apr

Kim Kardashian is Working Out of the Day

Here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian having a much needed workout.

I guess the truth hurts because she’s actually taking it to actually exercising. The funniest thing about these pictures is that I’ve been calling Kim Kardashian a fat pig for the last 6 months and I continuously get hate for it, but the second Paris Hilton says bitch has cottage cheese legs, she starts working out like some kind of high school girl who got a nose job cuz the pretty girl said she had a big nose. It’s some low self esteem shit that would explain the emotional eating of ice cream that got her in this situation to begin with and reality is that she should have been doing this long time ago, but all you cocksuckers encouraged her to eat more and said her fat was hot and that if anyone thought otherwise, they were into little boys, but it just took those cutting words from someone she thinks matters to get her off the ice cream.

What that means is that Kim Kardashian, along with the rest of the world, values Paris Hilton’s evil words more than they value my evil words, even though she is a stupid, useless cunt. Society tells us to listen to people like her, who have money and celebrity, that’s why the politicians are trying to get as many endorsements as possible, including Heidi Montag, a bitch who is worth less than her fuckin’ breast implants, while the assholes like you and me, who are probably much better suited to make statements about reality since we don’t live in a fuckin’ fantasy, are expected to worship the cocksuckers and everything that comes out of their mouth. They are even trying to get us to jerk off to them in their sex tapes, trying to infiltrate us from all angles, even in the fuckin’ porn we watch despite us knowing they suck harder than regular porn and not in a good way, we still watch because they are rich and known. I guess it’s all part of the brainwash process.

But at least someone’s finally put this fat ass whore to work…..

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Working Out

2008

23

Apr

Megan Fox With a Fox of the Day

I am not some kind of art fag and I generally don’t make commentary on the way someone takes a picture, makes a video or whatever the fuck takes some level of artistic vision, because I honestly couldn’t care less. But when I look at these pictures of Megan Fox with an actual fox, I get offended by the lack of thought that went into the fuckin’ picture. I wonder who set up this fuckin’ shoot, maybe it was a 3 year old consulting the photographer saying “Fox” and pointing to a picture of a fox while he knew he had to shoot Megan Fox and was like “why didn’t I think of that” or some shit. The truth is I fuckin’ hate literal images, like videos that pretty much explain what I am lookin’ at or listening too like I am some kind of fuckin’ retarded kid in a helmet running into the fuckin’ wall.

The only time this kind of thing would be acceptable is if they had Jennifer Lopez posing with a migrant border jumpin’ beaner cleaning her hotel room, or maybe a Paris Hilton video of her in a Hilton Hotel that they were about to implode in order to build a new state of the art building because it’s old and haggard, but that’s just cuz I think her time’s expired and we need a new one. I guess it’d be ok if there were pictures of Miley Cyrus posing with 300 Iranian dudes named Cyrus and by posing I mean being jerked of on by….

Either way, here’s Megan Fox with a Fox and an example of the shittiest creative vision in this photoshoot.


A reader sent in a video of his song and it pretty much sums up what I’m saying…..
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Posted in:Fox|Literal|Megan Fox

2008

23

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

Jade from yesterday’s stepLINKS wrote me back:

This is what pisses me off. I admit that I like sex. Why do I have to be looked down upon in society because I believed it when guys told me they loved me and were instead showing their friends the pictures and videos of us? My senior year of high school I slept with about 60 guys, including our school’s PE teacher. Does that make me a slut?
I really don’t think guys would have done this if they weren’t so influenced by pop culture and other stereotypes. These guys love to “hit it and quit it” because they think it makes them cool.
I’m disappointed that you have this website because I can tell by your writing that you are a very intelligent person.

This was my response:

Jade,

Are you going to send me those pics and videos or not. I am kinda losing my patience/interest and the truth is I love sluts….even if they’ve banged 60 guys in one year during highschool. I don’t even know 60 people. You should really get paid for your hard work.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

Here are my links:


Some Hometown Hottie Chick Named Christina Dancing With Her Massive Tits
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Kim Kardashian’s Huge Tits and No Make Up Still Make her a Slut
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The Best 30 Seconds of Your Day
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These Party Sluts Won’t Look At You in Real Life, But At Least This Way You Can Look At Them
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Some Penny Cruz Nude Scenes From Her Upcoming Flick
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Lindsay Lohan is a Jealous Lesbian
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Carmen Electra Gets Chicks to Do Upskirts For Her
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Long Hair to Pull
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Your Girlfriend Always Fakes It, But Here’s How to Find Out For Sure
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The Girls of Deal or No Deal Shake Their Asses
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And While You Look At Them, WHy Not Jerk Off in the Process?
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I Guess I Have More in Common With Monkeys Than I Thought
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The World’s Largest Breasts
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A Lorna Van Herde Photoshoot
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Julie Orden is a Natural Beauty
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Some Hot Celeb Chicks Hang Out at a Boring Party
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Find Girls Who May Fuck You
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Heather Mills Used to High Class Escort
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Kim Kardashian Wipes the Skank Off
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Emily Rossum Lookin’ Good at Some Bullshit Fashion Party
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Liz Hurley is Lookin’ a Bit Over the Hill, But Still Bangable
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Speaking of Bangable, Here’s Christie Brinkley and Her Daughter
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Naked Unknown of the Day
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Madonna’s Jail Bait Daughter is Going to Be Hot in a Year or Two
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I Swear I Get Hynotized By Ass Shakers
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Tampon Tea is the Next Japanese Delicacy
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Some Porn, Because I Love You
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Your Mom Sent Me This From Your Last Sleepover. Homo
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Today’s Lesbian Fantasy
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Ali Lohan to Follow In Her Very Talented Sister’s Footsteps and By Talented, I Mean Slutty, Drug Addicted, Mess
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That’s Right Baby, Bend Over
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Iveta Stares Out the Window, While You Stare at Her
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I Want to Punch Tila Tequila in the Face, But Here’s Some Pics of Her Anyways
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The Lovely, Lovely Lucy
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The Olive Garden Chicks Are Actually Going to Pose in Playboy
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The Tyoe of Secretary I Dream of Making Love To. Until Then, I Am My Own Secretary and Make Love to Myself
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Some Russian Politician is Marrying This Hot Bitch
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Stacy Dash in Playboy
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Some Cougar’s Flickr Pics (must sign in to see)
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Designer Gas Masks By Paris Hilton
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Sandee Westgate’s Juno Review Cuz Sluts Know What Teenage Pregnancy is All About
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Miranda Kerr Does Catalog Pics
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I ruin Hipster Social Climbing Slut’s Lives and Their Sexual Relationships with DJs
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Top 12 Sandra Bullock Movie Titles That Describe Her Recent Car Accident
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Redskins Cheerleaders Do Cricket
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Some Soon to Be Drafted Sports Dude Named Sam Kellar and His Hot Girlfriend’s Personal Pics
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Some Girl Posted a Bullshit Breast Implant Story on Youtube
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My Plastic Surgeon Homeboy Posted His Response to Her Lies Because He Can’t Let Her Ruin the Breast Implant Industry
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Nasty Tits and a Pussy
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Some Slut Being a Slut in Her Slutty Clothes
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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BONUS – Some Daily Show Obama Action for Primary Day….

Part 1 –

Part 2 –

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

22

Apr

Jessica Simpson Sluts Out With Food of the Day

I never really incorporated sex into food, except for the occasional time I convinced whatever girl I was with to shove a beer bottle in her cooch, but that always took too much energy and insertion shit is pretty gross cuz you don’t know where the fuck the found object came from and seeing a condom on anything makes it look ridiculous and unsexy, especially when that anything is a bottle, food, or whatever the fuck bitch is shoving up in her.

My wife recently wanted to bring food into our sex life that I like to think is non-existent but sometimes I fuck up and give into my natural urges, but in all fairness food’s not so much a fetish for her, it just seems like more of a hobby she really digs, so the food is only licked off each other when she spills the shit and can’t let a morsel go to waste. I wonder if that’s how you spell mosel. It’s a pretty gay word.

Here’s Jessica Simpson singing for her love Tony Romo on his birthday, where they playfully make a mess out of the cake with each other and make out with their mouths full. Having a filled up mouth is a pretty common scenario that Jessica Simpson is use to because it’s the only way her boyfriends can shut the bitch up, because whenever she talks it makes them question why they are doing what they are doing until taking another glimpse of her tits.

This whole thing makes me thing of Nick Lachey and their wedding that ended in misery, but then again, everything makes me think of Nick Lachey, he’s so dreamy…..I guess that gay started with the word morsel and built up to this. I’d apologize but why bother….no one’s reading this anyway….

Posted in:Cake|Jessica Simspon|Slut

2008

22

Apr

Chanelle Hayes Is a Slut of the Day

You really have to respect a girl like Chanelle Hayes. No one knows who the fuck she is, but I’m still posting her because she somehow managed to slut herself onto the internet by dressing like a slut. I have nothing but respect for a girl who knows her worth and who also knows just how easy it is to get semi-famous and make more money than being a receptionist just by wearing little clothes and looking like she sucks dick all the time. Guys are easy to win over and that is why these feminists in turtlenecks and combat boots need to back the fuck off because they are selling themselves short and in doing that they are also manipulating other girls to sell themselves short by making them feel guilty for playing the system. Sure they can take the traditional route of climbing up the corporate ladder the traditional way, but life would be a hell of a lot easier if they just got naked and they’d make a hell of a lot more money doing it. Any girl who makes less than 100,000 dollars a year and who is semi-attractive is a fuckin’ idiot because if life is really about the hustle of earning money to live a better life there are ways to make that happen and all your dreams can come true, you just need to rework your idea of integrity.

Watch Some Comedy Sex Tape Video with Her and a Puppet for MTV that Is Kinda Funny….
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Posted in:Chanelle Hayes|Lingerie