I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

24

Mar

Girl Jake Gyllenhaal Pushed Interview of the Day

If you’ve been reading this site the last few days, you will know I had a little altercation with Jake Gyllenhaal that his people and the restaurant he was in are trying to make disappear. They’ve even sent the Jake Gyllenhaal fan club into my comments to defend his honor and take away my credibility….

They are trying to make me look out like a liar. They are threatening me saying the incident didn’t happen. They are saying I am trying to get publicity, but I didn’t have a fucking camera…my website traffic hasn’t gone up. I haven’t made money. The girl involved doesn’t want her name attached to something so stupid and my name is left out of 95% of reports and prior to this event I didn’t even really know who Gyllenhaal was or how to spell his stupid name…I didn’t even recognize him when he was in the bar until people told me who he was…I write about celebrity pussy not celebrity pussies….

I just went to a bar, made a comment and insanity ensued and wrote what I saw on my personal blog. I am allowed to write what I saw on my blog.

There was also no crime in what he did…people shove people in bars…that’s why there is no police report…we aren’t babies who really care that much about this and it’s not like he beat the fuck out of the girl or something we are trying to make into a bigger deal than it is, he just shoved her in his fit and I was mad that he made her cry so I hit my site.

Everyone loves him so much thanks to marketing but he throws down temper tantrums better than a 5 year old rich kid…believe it or not, what you see isn’t what he actually is…

I love that the mainstream media is saying “We have the real story” when not one person has asked me or the girl I was with what happened-they’ve just decided that it didn’t happen on their own…Maybe they’ve asked Jake’s People…or the Bar trying to protect it’s reputation….Bullshit….

That was until today….when a local blog interviewed the girl who got shoved by him….

Now, I am officially ready for this to die like it was Heath Ledger…It’s as boring as Gyllenhaal’s IMDB page.

To Read Her Story Follow This Link – It’s translated from French – But It Is Accurate
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Posted in:Jake Gyllenhall|Montreal

2010

24

Mar

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

I was talking to a girl the other day who was going through her Victoria’s Secret catalog and I had a flashback of when the Victoria’s Secret catalog was the closest thing most men had to porn. I remember ordering the shit to my shithole apartment under a woman’s name because I didn’t want people working there thinking I was some kind of queer who buys women’s underwear, when I really just wanted it for good old fashioned jerking off…It was a simpler time where I didn’t have to dig through porn sites for something I haven’t already seen or something I am not already bored of…back when a little leg, midsection and cleavage wasn’t pathetic to cum to…It’s like they brought bikini porn into the home…a campaign for bikinis I got nothing by love for….

Whenever I think of how Victoria’s Secret has campaigned so hard to get bikini pictures into our everyday life, I remember the time I campaigned for bikinis…sure I was working on getting mandatory bikinis back when I volunteered for a senior aquarobics class and I was tired of seeing the bitches in this awkward one-piece suits with skirts attached the shit like they were 5 despite being 80. I tried for the whole “you are what you wear, so dress young and it will make you feel younger and all the youth are in 2 pieces and if you dress like an old lady you feel like an old lady ” kind of logic, but I ended up getting fired proving that you can get fired even when you’re not getting paid….

Posted in:Bikini|Candice Swanepoel

2010

24

Mar

Chelsea Handler’s Bikini Body of the Day

I’ve watched Chelsea Lately do a couple of interviews…I’ve never watched her entire show…but she is pretty funny from what I remember and I generally don’t find anyone funny.

I remember her ripping into different celebrities, making racist jokes no one got mad at her for making because she’s a chick with a harmless delivery and that in itself is genius….

She’s not that annoying and she’s not a dyke lookin’ pig of a woman like most female comedians…but most importantly she looks good in a bikini.

I wasn’t all that surprised, because most girls in gyms are Jewish girls…it’s like they like to keep up their appearances as best they can…even if it takes botox, a nose job, a lot of their husband’s money on hair and make-up and clothes, and I really have no problem with a bitch aging gracefully with a little help no matter how awkward lookin she was in her prime, cuz the white trash girls I hang out with who were hot in their prime all look like a weathered, fat, tired, poor piles of shit they blame on working a life as a cashier after they were forced to quit stripping and drugs, before emotionally eating their way thru the realization that life sucks….

So you should collectively jerk off to these videos and send them to the 40 year olds you know…cuz if anything Chelsea Lately proves there’s no excuse for their pig bodies.

Posted in:Bikini|Chelsea Handler

2010

24

Mar

Lindsay Lohan Falling Into Cactus of the Day

I get drunk enough to fall on my face pretty often. A couple weeks ago I fell up the stairs, then fell down the stairs, then fell in the street, then fell walking into the bar, and fell trying to get to the bathroom of the bar, then fell asleep in the bathroom of the bar, before being carried out of the bar….but I try not to lose the ability to walk, that’s usually when I go too far….

I don’t know if Lohan is wasted in these pictures, maybe she’s just numb from all the meds and didn’t realize there was a cactus next to her, or maybe it was just her stupid shoes that she couldn’t manage, or maybe she’s figured being a clown is a more probably career for her, or maybe she’s just fucking wasted….and all I know is that it’s too bad this didn’t happen outside my house near a back alley, and too bad she didn’t curl up and try to fall asleep after she hit the ground, because these pictures coulda ended up more fun…I mean until 6-8 weeks later when the sores blossom and I am forced to ask myself if that 30 seconds of pleasure was really worth a lifetime of dealing with dick scabs….

This isn’t the first time she’s fallen on her face…When she was in Montreal and I was standing outside the bar she was hosting an event at – she fell hard on her way out…maybe she just has balance issues and an inner ear infection….

Leave Lohan Alone….anyway you dice it, this is porn to me….

Here’s the video….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Drunk|Lindsay Lohan

2010

23

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

The Gyllenhaal bullshit bores me. It has definitely got to the point of ridiculous which is almost funny cuz I have much more legit bar fights that don’t end up in me getting tons of emails all the time.

What I wrote is what I saw. I don’t think there’s a crime in that. I do think his people are making a big deal out of nothing. I do know people are lying and it isn’t me…I think they are the reason the story got big…cuz I post shit everyday and no one usually notices….all of a sudden DrunkenStepfather becomes the Jake Gyllenhaal fanclub…seriously no traffic increase but one post had 200 comments when I normally get 3. Out of no where…fucked up….

Point is, he had a tantrum, he made a girl cry, no charges were pressed, it wasn’t a publicity stunt otherwise I would have taken pics, it hasn’t done shit for my traffic, it hasn’t landed me a book deal or made me money…I am not milking it, I am just annoyed of it. It is so insignificant story the real gossip people don’t care….and I don’t care…I just won’t retract my story because his expensive people think I should….

So if I get sued, I get sued…it’s not like I have an money or assets and it will get thrown out of court but I’d love for people who do run into him to scream “hey isn’t that the guy who killed Heath Ledger” because it would be funny.

As far as his multi-million dollar machine distorting the truth, creating their own truth, manipulating the media, all celebs do that – so never believe anything you read…

Now back to Tits…which is really why we are all here to begin with….Here are my stepLINKS – Click ‘Em…

And Another Slut to Add to Tiger Wood’s Mistresses. Here’s Some Shots of Her
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Which Would You Choose? X-Tina’s New Album Cover or Madonna Naked and Spread Eagle Over a Dog?
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The 10 Hottest Cougars of 2010
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Find Sluts Here, Jackass
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Cameron Diaz Seemingly Doesn’t Have the Body of an 11 Year old Boy Anymore and Is Filling Out This Pair of Jeans Really Nice
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Star Wars: Incent Edition – VIDEO
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2010 World Cup Draw: Which Country Has the Hottest Fans?
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Serena Williams Thong Slip
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Lohan’s Next Business Venture is Fitting….
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Boobs and Kittens! YEAAAH! – VIDEO
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18 Year Old Hottie Does a Striptease
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Wow, Who Knew The Best Job On Planet Earth Was in the Casting Department at Disney
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Everybody Hates Miley Cyrus
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Russia X The 80’s = AMAZING
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Rosa Acosta is Giving Us a Lovely View
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Christina Aguilera Upskirt Throwback
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Gracie is a Girl Next Door Type
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Guess Whose Ass is Back on the Market?
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Taylor Swift is Lookin Hot
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Tia is Pretty Ease on the Eyes
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There’s a Movie Coming Out ABout Wierd Al Yankovic’s Life – VIDEO
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There’s a Michelle Bombshell Sex Tape Being Shopped Around…
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Carli Banks is a Horny Slut
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Lucy Pinder is in NUTS – VIDEO
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Yeah I’d Do America Ferrera
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And More of Lohan Looking Like a Messs
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Nip Slip Galore! – VIDEO
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Striptease of the Day
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Britains Hottest Topless Babes
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Patricia plus Her Friend
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Bianca Beauchamp is a Dirty Girl
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Who Doesn’t Touch Their Dogs Balls on a Regular Basis? – VIDEO
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Some Japanese Penis Handling Instruction Manual
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Follow Me You Fucking Assholes
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

23

Mar

Kate Moss in a See Through Shirt of the Day

I don’t understand why Kate Moss bothers wearing clothes….Sure she’s in fashion and gets all the stylish, expensive shit normal girls masturbate to the thought of owning, and I guess walking around naked is pretty inconvenient and cold, but we’ve seen pretty much everything she has to offer…but I guess with that logic…I should be campaigning that pornstars don’t wear clothes, that Carnie Wilson doesn’t wear clothes, cuz I saw that Playboy spread years ago should not wear clothes and in the absolute worst case for society that my wife doesn’t wear clothes…so maybe keeping the clothes on makes the most sense and I’ll be happy with strategic nudity, cuz nudity isn’t as good as it sounds…just ask anyone who’s been to a senior nudist camp….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Kate Moss|Nipple|See Through

2010

23

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Hiding in Her Old Chick Shirt of the Day

Lohan is in hiding and I’m not sure why. It’s not like she has a career or image to protect. I can only assume this is straight from her ego and her vanity trying to hide something embarassing like maybe she’s got a cold sore from sucking dirty Hollywood dick or a rash or bad collagen lips….I just know her shirt “Old Chic(k)” is pretty fucking fitting…

Don’t get me wrong, I still love Lohan and every text message I send her that she ignores, but her cover-up is pretty fuckin’ weak…she might as well get someone to carry a neon sign behind her that says “Lohan is Drunk and has a Herpe sore on her lip she doesn’t want seen”…cuz it is that obvious….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Hiding|Lindsay Lohan

2010

23

Mar

Mischa Barton and Her Cellulite in Shorts of the Day

All girls have cellulite, even skinny girls have cellulite, it’s got something to do with their uterus and the way it makes babies, hell, I probably have cellulite…you know it happens when you’re fat as fuck, even when you’re a dude…so cellulite is really not a big deal or something to point out and laugh at, but for some reason, when it’s on Mischa Barton, who is already at the end of her fucking road and a sloppy mess who always had sloppy fucking legs, I find it pretty entertaining….it’s like bitch doesn’t give a fuck and still wears shorts and I’m not sure if that’s a sign of her not giving a fuck about what others thinkand embracing herself, of it it’s a sign of her just not giving a fuck cuz she’s given the fuck up…

I never found her hot, it was all downhill from the kid puking on herself in the Sixth Sense, but maybe you did, so here are some pics to remind you that you shouldn’t….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Cellulite|Legs|Mischa Barton

2010

23

Mar

Molly Ringwald and her Boobs Look Horrible of the Day

I’ve seen all the 80s movies and I don’t think Molly Ringwald was ever cast as the hot chick…I doubt guys every had crushes on her…I knew she was the weird awkward looking skinny chick other girls could relate to.

So there was no surprise she’d age horribly, but I didn’t expect her to ever look like this….seriously…this is the kind of girl you put in a rehab center with rapists and sex addicts to turn them asexual….lend her to Tiger Woods for a month and dude will be fine….or the kind of person closet case fags date so that they don’t have to dive into homosexuality but can test the waters thanks to her her broad shoulders and thick back…

She’s doing Yoga, showing off some mom tit, not bothering anyone, so I am an asshole disrupting her quiet life that came when she escaped from Hollywood, one far less morbid than Corey Haim, but I do think people should think about getting her more work…I’m sure tons of movies need someone to play the school janitor….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Molly Ringwald|old|Scary

2010

23

Mar

Sophie Turner’s Tits Distract from her Face of the Day

My last celebrity defamation lawsuit threat came from this bitch, Sophie Turner….who I am sure isn’t legally allowed to call herself a celebrity, but for some reason, I like to call her tits, manages to still get noticed and defended by die heart fans….I wrote that she looked like a pornstar or a whore, which if you I were to ever see her on the street I’d say something like “hey that bitch looks like a pornstar, let’s google pornstars and see if we can find her” but apparently she thought that was worth having her laywer write me a letter about….so when I see pictures of her and her perky fake tits..or her “alledged” fake tits…it reminds me of goodtimes those goodtimes….

So we may not know who she is…but people took pictures at the airport of her so she must be someone going somewhere important to do something important…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Sophie Turner|Tits

2010

23

Mar

Catholic Priest No Longer Celibate of the Day

Catholicism is a dated concept that just didn’t evolve with our times. We are a sexed up society and depriving people of sex just ends up in kids getting molested. So when I see a priest quit working for the church because he knows everything he learned in priest school was bullshit and that God will not turn on him for living a good life that includes banging chicks, kinda like when you see Doctors smoking, it makes me happy knowing that dude followed his biological needs, instead of deprive himself and leave him so charged up he takes a blowjob from an alterboy…

I am not against faith, just faith that makes no sense, and this bitch named Faith who I met at a bar down the street who spat in my face when I asked to see her boobs….making bumping into her always annoying…I am just curious who in their right mind would give their lives to God to work for the church in this era, other than homeless people looking for a job, warm bed and food and closet case homosexuals….and I guess what I think doesn’t matter…but I do like seeing this move from Pristhood to the Clithood…you know from the confession booth to the bedroom and if he gets to keep his priest dress, some grown up Catholic private school girl with negative feelings towards the church will get to live out some serious fantasies, like the Catholic private school girl I once met who was so repressed she’d masturbate with a Virgin Mary statue in her mom’s room…for fucking serious….

Posted in:Catholic|Priest

2010

23

Mar

Britney Spears Looks Like She Smells Good of the Day

Watching Britney is like watching a homeless woman dig through the garbage looking for cans. Part of me is disgusted of the smell you think she gives off, while another part of me is sad her life has gone this route, because you know when she was a little girl she wasn’t dreaming about digging through the trash, and the main part of me find shit hot as fucking hell, cuz those gutter down on their luck girls are easy…

I don’t know what’s going on here, but I think it’s safe to say no showers were involved or hurt in the making of these pictures….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Britney Spears|Messy

2010

23

Mar

Coco’s Got a Retarded Ass of the Day

Coco’s ass is on another level of ass. It’s like shit is it’s own person or some shit, like her syamese twin who didn’t fully develop. It’s got it’s own name, it’s own cellphone, it’s own preference in restaurants and meals and a mind of it’s own that only Coco can communicate with because it’s mouth only spits out shit.

Coco used to be jealous of all the attention she got, but decided to embrace it and make it work for her…like she had been doing with her vagina all these years….cuz she’s that kind of woman….

So I may not understand this shit or find this shit hot…but it’s definitely something worth exploring on a scientific level, like make a fucking Discovery Channel show on the shit, because I want to know the story behind this and I want to know what’s really going on here….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ass|Coco

2010

23

Mar

Mila Kunis is a Hot Cowboy of the Day

I have a think for Cowboys, especially when they aren’t Gay and in bars causing me headaches after having temper tantrums about comments I make to fat groupies.

I also have a thing for Mila Kunis, this girl drives me crazy pretty much everytime I see her, until I think about how she’s engaged to Home Alone Culkin, who looks like he is dying a slow HIV positive death from sharing needles…not that that would stop me from sharing her as he foams at the mouth in the corner thanks to all the pills he’s been popping…

Seriously…Mila Kunis is perfection. I watched Forgetting Sarah Silverman at least twice because of her sex scene and she was the only reason there was That 70s Show.

So good job GQ at making all my dreams come true…

Posted in:Cowboy|GQ|Mila Kunis

2010

23

Mar

Miley Cyrus Does the Lohan of the Day

These pictures bring back memories of when Lohan was just 18 and at her peak before everything fell apart cuz the dude from The 70s Show broke her heart and made her spiral into drugs, lesbianism, random cock, partying, only I think Lohan showed off a little more cleavage, but I don’t really remember since it happened so long ago, long enough to make me think most of her career has been spent not working and being talked about in the media than actually acting in movies. This whole celebrity thing is a fucking joke. It annoys me. But I am excited to see fame chew up Miley and spit her out, you know as she tries to re-invent herself in “Adult Roles” just because it’s more entertaining than any movie or TV show she’s ever been in.

Here she is doin’ the Lohan, predicting what’s to come…

Pics via Bauer
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Lohan|Miley Cyrus