I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

27

Feb

Gary Busey is Cool Fuckin’ Shit of the Day

Gary Busey is pretty funny and doesn’t really take shit from anyone. This is a video of him freaking out about Paris Hilton being a piece of shit at some 11 year old girl interviewing him. I guess he doesn’t realize that this isn’t a movie set, or maybe that she’s not an adult or maybe he knows that 11 year olds are just scheming little pricks with no sense of what is morally right or wrong, they are just lookin’ for a laugh. Sure, they’ve got their cute pigtails and little innocent smiles on their cute little faces while singing and dancing to a Miley Cyrus song to their stuffed animals on the surface, but you know they are smarter than that and are plotting ways to humiliate you in front of your friends at a dinner party by telling everyone you touched her inappropriately, because she saw it on TV and thought it would be funny to recreate in real life, leading to you getting arrested and losing your life as you knew it when you never even did anything wrong, girl just thinks life is a fuckin’ movie.

It looks like Gary Busey is lost on the movie set too and everyone makes fun of Busey for being insane, but whatever he’s on, it looks like a good time. I read he got brain damage in a motorcycle accident and that’s too bad because it’s not an easy high too simulate and the last time I tried, I lost function of my bowels. It smells a lot worse than freakin’ out at 11 year old troublemakers.

Posted in:Cool|Drunk|Gary Busey|Insane|Retarded|Uncategorized

2008

27

Feb

Mariah Carey Hot Tits Suckin’ in Video of the Day

Here’s the new Mariah Carey video that you can almost relate to, except for the girl with big tits answering her door in a bra and playing with you in your fantasies party. Your life is more about being the awkward motherfucker sitting on the computer nervous as shit because a girl in the chat room just asked you for a private chat or some shit.Maybe one day she will get on cam for you, we all have dreams and my dream may not involve touching Mariah Carey or her huge tits, it’s gotta do with unicorns, they are so mystical and I feel like if I had I unicorn I could really take over the world.

It’s kinda like this asshole I used to hang out with who bought a Firebird with a T-Top. He was so convinced bitches would flock to it, that everytime we rolled together he would park outside of bars blasting his shitty music with a beer in his hand, expecting them to crawl into the half-assed convertible and start bouncing on his dick. Instead, they’d just look and laugh because we were about 20 years too old and too late and the high school dreams of being the cool guy with the firebird should have been left in highschool, and high school girls today are more into luxury cars and Firebirds don’t have the same impact as they did in the 80s. Now if dude had a unicorn, every slut from the age of 4 on would think you’re a fuckin’ hero and that is the power of having a non-existent animal all girls dreamed of having as a kid, it’s timeless.

Either way, Here’s me and Mariah like baby and pacifier’s new video.

Posted in:Bra|Mariah Carey|Music Video|Tits

2008

27

Feb

Ashlee Simpson on American Idol of the Day

Here is a video from last night’s American Idol where some dancing queen claims to have been in a punk band when he was in the ninth grade. That’s when I realized motherfucker was actually Ashlee Simpson trying to revitalize her career from another angle.

Unfortunately she still sucks, even when she’s dressed like her boyfriend and pretending to be gay, but at least she’s still punk rock or at least claims that she is and that’s gotta count for something because if you believe it long enough, other people will start to also…..

You know, fuck the establishment while competing on candy coated TV shows, in hopes of landing another record deal that will surely have you singing garbage pop songs that every radio station puts on fucking repeat…polluting my brain and making me want to jump in front of traffic because nothing’s more punk rock than that…..Except for maybe wearing make-up and moving to the basement at your mom’s suburban house.

The good news is that this is not actually Ashlee Simpson so we don’t have to worry about that whore getting more airplay, because she can’t really sing well enough to get on American Idol, which in itself is pretty insulting, so I guess it’s it’s back to stickin’ the strap on in her bisexual boyfriends ass.

Posted in:Ashlee Simspon|Bisexual|Gay|Lame|Uncategorized

2008

27

Feb

Lily Allen Upskirt Fat Ass of the Day

Abortions….really suck the life out of you, or was it a miscarriage. Whatever it was, it left her uncaring ass exposed. I guess her lady parts are as numb as her heart after losing what was to be her very own miracle, no I am not talking about the fact that such a hag could get laid in the first place, I’m talking the miracle of life from getting fucked from behind in a tour bus. It was the kind of mess she was probably used too, because men will fuck anything willing, and thought it would just drip down her leg, so she could just forget about it like all those other times, but instead some of it stuck and got her into this sad mess.

All I can say is thank god for pantyhose, otherwise we’d be forced to see the mangled mess that her weight problem has done to her thighs….not to mention what her underwear is going through. I am sure it smells like death up in that shithole and it looks like her eating disorder is so out of hand that even her asshole has an appetite and it’s eating her fuckin’ underwear like Lily at that Extra Large Pizza last night while she cried.

I guess she should have listened to her ass’s appetite, because if she did, she could have completely avoided the whole pregnancy shit and would have just had a little limp in her step instead of fetus in her toilet.

Our hearts go out to her…


Related Posts:

Lily Allen is Not Shopping for Baby Clothes
Lily Allen Is Hiding The Killer
Lily Allen is a Ditch Pig Clown
Lily Allen Shopping for Lingerie
Lily Allen Performing

Posted in:Ass|Lily Allen|Thong|Uncategorized|Upskirt

2008

27

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I didn’t post much today because nothing interested me enough to go to the trouble of writing about so I just linked the sit her.. It was a boring uninspired day. But I did get this comment that I wanted to comment on:

Yeah, when someone slams the religion they always do it with Christianity, but never touch fucking muslims, because they are afraid of these blackass bitches…..blah blah blah….I’m a dumb bitch no one reads what I have to say…..blah blah blah ……but he will never say anything about muslimish faggots, as they will harm him for this.

I don’t hate or slam any religions intentionally, I just talk shit and the reason I’ve never targeted Muslim people is because I think they are a decent culture with good intentions who are just misunderstood.

Here are my links:

Big Brother 9 Chick Shows Off Her Lactating Implant Tit and Talks About the Tampon She Had Rammed In Her For 6 Days
GO

Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Implant Cleavage….
GO

Some girl Named Justene Jaro Posing her Big Tits in a Photoshoot Video
GO

An Ass Dreams are Made Of
GO

Check Out This Brazilian Bikini Action
GO

Some Party Slut in Gold Bkini Action
GO

Tiffany Toth is an Art Student Who is Posing Nude
GO

Karolina Kurkova’s Topless Photoshoot Pics and G-String Ass
GO

Here’s Some Rachel Ray Small TItty Action
GO

Kristen Lea is Someone You Don’t Know – But Her Boob is Falling Out of Her Dress
GO

The Movie Never Back Down Has Sluts in it and That’s About All
GO

These Ugly Chicks Think They Are Being Discriminated For Being Too Pretty Because they are Crazy
GO

A Clip from Mariah Carey’s Video Showin’ Off her Tits
GO

Kate Walsh and Her Cleavage
GO

Horse Breaks Some Kids Leg
GO

Elizabeth Banks is Fuckin’ Seth Rogan and Cashing In on a Lame Fucking Joke
GO

Watch the Miley and Mandy Show – Pervert….
GO

Top 10 Ways to Get You Girlfriend to Dump You
GO

Some Mexican Bath Turns Deadly
GO

Oprah Denies Ever Kissing A Woman
GO

Scary Spice is Wasted and
GO

Watch This Chick Suzana Wake Up and Get Naked in Pictures
GO

Some Fat Plus Sized Model Showing Off Her Plus Sized Disgustingness
GO

Melanie Sykes is Some Chick Posing In a Bikini You Want to Fuck
GO

Gisele Bundchen in Some Bikini Photoshoot
GO

Watch Some Janet Jackson in Action for Old Times….
GO

3 Naked Girls Posing With Leaves
GO

Brittany Murphy’s Husband Is a Real Looker’
GO

Brooke Hogan Wearing a Dress
GO

Some British Chicks Get Topless on Cell Phone Camera in Some Kind of Joke I Don’t Get
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

18 of the Sexiest Sex Offenders You Wish Sexually Offended You…
GO

What Not to Do on a Treadmill
GO

Some Dude Sewing His Tongue Because He’s a Sick Fuck
GO

An Old Picture of Lohan and Her Sister in Bikinis for the Perverts
GO

Good News Jamie Lynn Spears is Smarter than You
GO

Rihanna In a Pool with Chris Brown Wearing a Bikini
GO

Some Spring Break Girl Gets Mad While Suckin’ Dick – NSFW
GO

Hot to Save Money on an Abortion –
GO

Check Out Some Pamela Anderson Nude Photoshoot and Other Goodies…
GO

Pam Anderson Annulled her 2 Month Marriage to her Sex Tape Star Lover
GO

Rihanna’s Crazy Cleavage on Stage
GO

Harry Potter is a Poofter – Here’s the Proof to Get all Your Magic Wands Excited About….
GO

Some Hot French AD
GO

Some Crazy German Beastiality Magazine Cover Good TImes
GO

Here are Some Pictures of the Bikini Clad Sluts Behind Some Luxury Prostitution Company
GO

How to Busk on the NYC subway
GO

Here are Some Funny Clips from TV Including Ann Coulter Talking About Snorting Nicorette Gum
GO

Some Dude Named Money Mayweather Throwing Money at the Press at the WWE Press Conference
GO

Amy Winehouse and Her Lesbian Lover Playing Dress Up
GO

A Whole Lot of Sick Videos
GO

NAUGHTY VAMPIRE CHICK WITH THE JUICIEST FUCKIN’ TITS YOU’VE EVER SEEN
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Photobucket Booty Pictures
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Use this to Find Girls to FUck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Get Some Porn..it is Fun…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

26

Feb

Paris Hilton is Dating Nicole Richie’s Boyfriends Brother of the Day

The big news of the day that no one cares about is that Paris Hilton is fucking Benji Madden. He is one of the Good Charlotte Twin Sisters, the only twin sisters you don’t want to see fuckin’ each other because they actually have penises but are still gayer than fucking gay. I can assume that it all started in the womb when one of them used the other’s developing penis as a pacifier or maybe it was when they were curious teenage boys with a dream of pop stardom and a libido that couldn’t be satisfied unless each other’s dick were in their mouths….some people have blanket for comfort, like Fergie sang about, other people suck their thumbs and the maddens suck each other’s dick….maybe it’s normal, I’m not a twin.

Either way, Paris has moved in on her best friend’s baby daddy’s twin and that’s some incestuous shit. I guess when you throw your vagina at someone with a broken heart, it’s pretty hard to get rejected. Sure he is on the rebound from recently broke up with a much hotter Sophie Monk, but the real broken heart happened when his brother left him for little boy Richie and knocked her up, forcing them to only get in each other’s mouths at family functions….it’s a sad story, but not as sad as the day Paris calls him with the pregnancy test results and he finds out that he was just part of a scheme trying to outdo her friend and steal some of her glory by becoming sisters in law, instead of sisters in spirit. Maybe he can get another gay tattoo to remember this day by….because he’s that kind of loser….

Posted in:Benji Madden|Paris Hilton|Sex

2008

26

Feb

Diablo Cody Topless and Personal Pictures of the Day

If you don’t know who Diablo Cody is, her story goes like this. She was an internet loser who would spend her nights trying to find like-minded losers because no one locally understood her, at least according to her, when in reality they just thought she was a fucking loser and eventually moved away to be with her internet boyfriend, marry him and be a stepmother to his baby, because that’s what stable people do.

As a statement to the world condition, or in efforts of being ironic or interesting, this Rockabilly, Pin Up Girl poser who takes herself too seriously, decides to strip. Not knowing that she has no business being naked in front of crowds to begin with and really has no business getting paid to be naked in from of a crowd, because the constant encouragement from her like-minded internet friends lead her to believe that she did.

She ended up doing it full time, because I guess working in the midwest and in some busted down barn stripclub where the other women weigh 300 pounds and have one tooth and a hot pair of cut off overalls and a baby cow to milk as part of their routine, allowed Diablo Cody to feel the same acceptance and reassurance as the hottest girl that she got from her blog…

Either way, she had a blog, was recruited to write a book because some publisher liked her intelligent, sarcastic take on the world, like most internet girls and that lead her from the world of an internet loser to an academy award winner because everyone fell in love with her…..because the average person lacks major fucking substance and felt like they found what they were missing in her Gilmore Girls writing for the losers out there because she is the same girl you laughed at in high school….

Either way, these are her personal pics that pretty much sum all that up and show off her pretty shitty tits that I didn’t fall in love with like the world fell in love with her…..but would still watch dyke out on the stripper pole in her living room, but that’s just because I know she’s that kind of girl and I’m a pervert….

Posted in:Diablo Cody|Naked|Personal Pics|Screenwriter

2008

26

Feb

Moment of Truth is the Devil of the Day

Here’s a crazy segment from the show Moment of Truth. which is pretty evil show on TV because the truth seems to hurt people who have emotions. I am all for people who want to make money going out there and airing their laundry on national TV, but this shit was next level.

She basically admits to marrying the wrong dude and cheating on the current dude, breaking that dude’s heart on national TV, then she loses everything because Karma is a bitch and she lied about thinking she’s a good person when in reality she knows she’s evil.

I guess people do cheat and it’s not that big of a deal. I try to encourage my wife to getting out there and finding new cock behind my back. I tell her how exciting it will be to be secretive and shit and that it will add a whole new dynamic to our sex life….because when I find out I’ll have grounds for divorce, still get palimony and live happily ever after….knowing I don’t need to get in bed with that again….

What I really think they should have done is asked detailed questions about how she cheated. Like where did she take the dude’s load, where it went down, how big his dick was, whether she had bush, if her pussy was an “inny” or an “outty”, what positions they hit, but then again, I am a pervert and I like visualizing these things.

Either way, it was nice to see her lose it all, because I don’t think people should be rewarded for home wreckin, unless those people are me.

Posted in:Slut|TV

2008

26

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

One of my Jewish readers hates me because I made fun of Jewish teenage girls who go out in public during the day looking homeless, despite stepping out of Mercedes SUV’s and drinking their expensive designer cofffees, this is what he wrote to me:

Dear DrunkenStepfather,

I just wanted you to know that I took great offense to your post regarding Jewish girls. You are a disgusting human being and I will never visit your site again. You are part fuel hate and are not contributing to the advancement of human acceptance. I hope others follow my lead and leave you and your site in the dust, where you belong. You are scum and I hope your life continues to be filled with misery. I am ashamed to share the same planet as you.

Regards,

Jacob Lipinisky

This was my response:

You and your people should stop taking yourselves so fucking seriously. Next thing you know you’ll be talking about how some dude tried to wipe out your religion and killed a ton of you 50 years after the fact…oh wait you already do that….

Shouldn’t you be at home studying your accounting homework, practicing dentistry, law or medicine or are you too busy taking over hollywood with lame fucking movies that you executive produce because you have no sense of humor you just think you’re funny cuz your Bubby tells all her friends that you are and you’re too stupid to realize that you’re not because you’re too busy performing at Bar Mitzvah’s getting all the laughs. L’chaim !!

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
drunkenstepfather.com

I’m so funny, I am not actually a bigot but since dude thinks I am and there’s no winning him over, I might as well milk it as much as I can. If I left a bad taste in dude’s mouth I figure I may as well really leave one. The real problem in the world aren’t the people like me – it’s the people who don’t make fun of other races/cultures and legitimately hate them behind closed doors. I just talk shit and there’s nothing wrong with that, except it doesn’t always smell as good as you’d want it to…That said, I fuckin love jewish girls and their camp suckin’ skills…I hate no one but myself.

Here are my links:

Some Really Weird Big Brother Orgy from Last Nights Show Involving Topless Chicks and Men in G-Strings…
GO

Some Club Slut in Some Red Lingerie Showing Off Her Shit
GO

Some Girl Gets Beat Up On Webcam
GO

Here’s Some Lingerie Show You’ll Like
GO

Who Would You Rather Do – The Celebs Without Make Up Edition
GO

10 Things You’ve Never Seen in a Webcam Strip Video
GO

Alex Curran in a See-Through Panty Upskirt
GO

Cameron Diaz was at the Academy Awards – This Is Her in Action
GO

Heidi Klum in Her Cocktail Dress Showing Some Tit
GO

Coco’s Fake Tits Lookin Classy as Ever as they Bust Out of Her Dress
GO

The Biggest Tits Ever Driving
GO

Some Dude Catches on Fire at Some Olympic Celebration
GO

Her Name is Denise Milani and She’s Posing Her Big Tits all Hot For You
GO

Germany’s Next Top Models Nudes Got Leaked and Nobody Cares
GO

Allison Angel and Her Friend Making Out and Showing their Vagina’s on the Soccer Field
GO

Shauna Sand is All Dressed Up But Still in Her Stripper Shoes
GO

The 15 Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgery Disaters
GO

Kimmel Responds to His Lame Girlfriend’s Joke With His I’m Fuckng Ben Affleck Shit…
GO

How To Make a Supersized Condom – Not That You’ll Need it
GO

Christina Milian’s Got Some Good Fuckin’ Cleavage
GO

Some Girl Gets Knocked the Fuck Out By a Dude
GO

CNN Fires Some Dude For Blogging
GO

Kirsten Dunst is Fresh Out of Rehab and Grocery Shopping
GO

Some Busty Fake Tit Whore Bouncing Around Naked on Her Bed
GO

Watch a Windmill Explode Because Windmill’s Are Crazy
GO

3 Blondes Naked and Tanning and Doin’ Body Shots and Being Drunk
GO

A Couple of Sluts in Bikinis On a Boat Acting Up
GO

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Her Fat Ass Does the Oscars
GO

Star Wars According to a 3 Year Old
GO

Some Cam Girls Getting Down to Some Classic Rock Montage
GO

A Woman and Her Daughter Beat Up a Pregnant Teen
GO

Some Hot Amateur Chick Takes a Shower then Does a Little Diddle Video
GO

Best Actress Marion Cotillard in Some Nude Scenes From Earlier in Her Career
GO

Proof that Zac Effron is a Poofter!
GO

David Beckham’s Condom’s Package Scares Me
GO

Check Out Carol Marika in Her Hot Photoshoot
GO

Here are Pictures of Paris in Leggings Not at the Oscars
GO

Here is Rita G From the Kanye Videos Showing Off Her Tits and Talking…
GO

Liv Tyler is Washing a Car for Dan from Roseanne and You Can See Some Upskirt Action
GO

Her Name is Daisy Marie and She’s Showing Off Her Big Brown Cunt
GO

Was Gene Simmons’ Sex Tape a Publicity Stunt….
GO

Some Hot Chick Showing Off Her Big Tits and Body in this Video
GO

Petra Nemcova is Dating Sean Penn – That Should Depress You
GO

Here’s an Interesting Way To Clean Your Vagina
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Fat, Blonde and Lookin’ For Attention Showing Off Her TIts
GO

Another Fat Chick Playing With Her Vagina For Attention
GO

FROM THE FORUM

Janet Jackson – Pre-Release Discipline
GO

Revolting Cocks – Linger Ficken’ Good
GO

City and Colour – The Death of Me
GO

Henry Rollins – Get in the Van
GO

The Cardigans – Life
GO

Nada Surf – Let Go
GO

Melvins – King Buzzo
GO

C-Mon & Kypski – Static Traveller
GO

Get Some Porn..it is Fun…
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Use this to Find Girls to FUck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

25

Feb

Ashlee Simpson Pretending to be Britney Spears of the Day

I guess Ashlee Simpson is trying to get some attention, you know living in her sister’s shadow all her life’s gotta give the ugly sister a little complex. A complex that bisexual Pete Wentz is all about because it draws more attention to him and his emotionally driven bisexual make-up wearing music.

In this video from his blog that someone emailed me, not that I found on my own, because I don’t really follow his career, dude and Ashlee joke about having a baby while Ashlee pretends to be Britney Spears eating her Cheetos and speaking with a Southern Accent, one that isn’t too far from her own accent.

I guess what it comes down to is that if Ashlee was actually a fraction of Britney Spears she’d be worth talking about, but instead she’s the Simpson table scraps who was just lucky enough to have a sister with money to afford the kind of exposure and lifestyle she lives with her bisexual boyfriend.

I guess the good news in all this is that they won’t be making any babies anytime soon, Pete Wentz is only into ass play, so Ashlee may not be a pop queen but she takes it up the ass and she may not be a Pop Queen but she is an Anal Queen and that’s important to me and should be to you too, because bitches who take it up the ass are hard to find.

To Watch the Lame Fucking Video
GO

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Losers|Pete Wentz

2008

25

Feb

Linda Hogan Bikini Pictures of the Day

In a poor trashy family, when the daughter turns 18 and decides to follow their mom’s footsteps into a lifelong career of stripping, she gets the mother’s implant hand me downs when the mom decides it’s time to upgrade because the only way she’ll land a lap dance is if she has cartoon like tits.

In a rich trashy family, they just get the daughter a set of implants for her 16th birthday because having a flat chested daughter would make people question how real her mom’s tits were, and no one wants to be outted as the middle aged woman with fake tits in the neighborhood, it’s better to keep people wondering….That is until you go out in a bikini and prove to the world that the only thing faker than these tits are your hair and maybe your divorce since it’s a good way to take attention away from your car racing son and his crippling driving skills.

I was always a fan of hand me downs when I was a kid and was forced to wear my foster sister’s jogging pants. I never really complained, sure the pink pants didn’t make me many friends, but I could still get off to the period stain she left behind and at the time that was better than jerking off to National Geographic or Three’s Company. I guess I’ve just always had a thing for fertility….a Fertility that Linda Hogan hasn’t seen in quite a few years, sure she may look good enough to fuck because washed up strippers turn me on, but I know that the steroids have left her barren and there’s nothing hot about pre-mature menopause, except for the whole not being able to get pregnant part and not getting sentenced to the bitch for life, or until the kid dies of a birth defect caused by my broken down sperm that’s seen it’s fair share of toxins and now is seeing the world in human form, makes for a good time.

Posted in:Bikini|Implants|Linda Hogan|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Paris Hilton is On Someone’s Facebook of the Day

You know Paris Hilton is a huge star when I find pictures of her dancing at a club and hugging up on some chick like they are best fucking friends for life on Facebook. She’s like one of those accessible celebrities who hangs out with anyone who isn’t famous around her because they are the only people who are impressed by her and it’s good for her ego. They are the kind of people who feel like they are important just because they are in her slut presence and Paris needs that positive affirmation because everyone else in the world thinks she’s a fuckin’ joke. If it wasn’t for these select few ass lickers out there, there wouldn’t even be a Paris Hilton, the harsh reality of her sucking at life would have hit a long time ago and bitch would have jumped off twentieth floor balcony back then.

So as long as there are socialite wannabes and horny dudes willing to fuck some skinny coked up bitch with herpes, there will be a Paris Hilton because she’ll think she has a purpose and we’ll have the facebook uploads as memories of each and everyone one of these club night encounters and I hate all you fuckers for that.

You are the same guy who made this fat bitch I know think she’s all fuckin that, like god’s fucking gift to sucking cock who thinks she gives the best fucking blowjob the world and deserves presents and to be worshipped all because and asshole told her she was awesome. What she doesn’t know is that when getting a blowjob from a willing girl, it’s always the best fucking blowjob and we tell you that it’s the best fucking blowjob because we are trying to fuckin’ cum and if we were to focus on your fucking flaws at giving a blowjob we’d go fuckin’ limp and forced to jerk off like we always fucking do, making the whole blowjob a waste of our time. So don’t let this get to your head bitch, it’s just part of the fuckin’ process and we tell every girl who sucks are dick that she gives the best fucking blowjob and you don’t deserve presents or to be worshipped, because your blowjob was average at best, it was just the best blowjob we were getting at the time. Cuddles.

Posted in:Facebook|Paris Hilton|Party

2008

25

Feb

Sofia Vergara’s Big Ol’ Mexican Tits Do the Oscars of the Day

It turns out that Elton John has AIDS…..parties, and at those AIDS parties he makes sure things are perfect. Being an outrageous and rich gay dude means he can afford to do things you don’t see at your average birthday party in the McDonalds party room.

I remember going to some gay dude’s party once, thinking there would be hungry pussy for straight dick and when I got there all I saw was a pile of speed on the table, different colored lightbulbs in the lamps and condoms everywhere, not like anyone was going to use them. It was like we were in some kind of exotic bath house, and it turned out that we were, but I only realized it when I saw no pussy but lots of man on man blowjobs, which leads me to believe that you can never trust a gay dude, but they can always hook you up with speed.

Either way, I am sure Elton John goes all out in his parties because the cause is dear to him because he is Gay Married and AIDs is a Gay Disease, so he hires party planners and decorators and high class chefs with open bars and great entertainment with a star studded guestlist and he even makes the hired help dress up in hot dresses with their tits busting out of her dress and this one is named Sofia Vergara and she’s slowly making a name for herself…one day she’ll be out of the business of making beds in hotel rooms and into the business of making you horny on the big screen. We all have dreams.


Related Posts:

Sofia Vergara is Big Breasted Mexican

Posted in:cleavage|Sofia Vergara|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Lindsay Lohan is Wasted of the Day

Here’s a video from the weekend of a drunk Lohan leaving the club every famous slut goes to now, called Villa. Now despite giving Villa free publicity on my site, I can guarantee that those cocksuckers still won’t let me in, because I look homeless and those kinds of places don’t like guys like me.

I accidentally followed one of my friends from the park to one of these chachi motherfucker clubs this past weekend, I guess me and Lohan and every single cheesy fucking person under 25 are connected at the soul or some shit.

Either way, we get to this club where there’s a line up of ethnic dudes with trendy mohawks and deliberately ripped jeans, speaking in “bro” and who start giving me dirty looks because I am wearing ripped jeans because I can’t afford un-ripped jeans and I have long ratty hair and I’m pushing 40.

My friend’s cousin turns out to be some bottle whore who is fucking the owner and invited him up to the VIP room, so we get escorted up to a space with about 15 lame dudes and 5 bottles to go with 5 sluts in low cut shirts. I end up drinking off the bottle for free because that’s all I can afford, despite knowing every sip is pissing these assholes off. I try chatting up one of the tits on one of the girls and eventually a fight breaks out between the dudes because with a 3 to 1 ratio, things can get heated with booze while nearing the end of the night. I know that if I spent 1000 dollars on bottles, I’d expect 4 girls on my dick at the end of the night, when these guys just had each other and were mad and ended up kicking their bro in the face while he was down on the ground in his white button up shirt….I’m talking 4 dudes kicking 1 dude then the 1 dude gets up, brushes himself off and goes back to drinking like nothing fuckin’ happened. I guess it’s the bro way….

I decided that after witnessing a bro-fight and all it’s gayness and despite drinking for free, it was my time to go but like Lohan I didn’t need help getting into the car, I just needed help getting my soul back….

Posted in:Drunk|Lindsay Lohan

2008

25

Feb

Paz Vega See Through Pics of the Day

Nothing makes me feel more like a lame virgin than posting pictures of girls in see through dresses. The reality of it is that that I don’t give a fuck about these bitches, or their nipples but I do it for you. At times I totally wish I was still a virgin, but those times only come out every couple months when I have a herpes outbreak or when my fat wife convinces me to take a viagra to try to pleasure her, even though my useless dick doesn’t even touch the walls of her really ridiculously big vagina.

This weekend was one of those sex weekends my wife makes me have every once in a while. It’s kind of how I earn my keep around here. I can usually get away with not fuckin’ her for months before her fat disgusting naked body slips viagra in my drink and have no choice. I guess we all have needs and my need is a roof over my head and her needs are oreos and the occasional fuck.

Either way, I saw shit coming the last 2 weeks and was putting it off until this weekend because there’s only so many headaches I can pretend to have. Now the key to fucking my wife is getting as drunk as possible so that i don’t know what I am doing, then take the pill get a boner about 10% of the time because even when drunk and on boner meds she’s still fucking disgusting and makes my dick crawl back inside me like a reverse erection. So I did her and rode her like a Bouncy Castle I haven’t recovered emotionally yet.

So here’s some nipple of some slut you don’t know and be happy that you are a virgin, because sometimes sex is the devil and I saw the devil face to face this weekend. Cuddles.


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