Let’s face it, if anyone fucks this dude, it is strictly because he is famous or because he was on MTV or because he dated famous people or because he’s a budding rockstar with a pretty commercial sounding rap group, and it’s got nothing to do with how cool he is, how big his scrotum is, or how good lookin or talented he is and that’s why she’s covering her face, because she doesn’t mind the opportunity or doors dating him and his rich father may have for her, but she doesn’t like the rest of the world peering in and calling her out on her little strategic play, because even she knows it is pretty much bottom feeding at its best and that’s something you can’t stand tall and proud and celebrate, especially when we all know his dick’s been in you, you fucking dirtbag.
Kim Kardashian is a new fucking woman, I don’t know what the fuck she did to herself but she doesn’t look the same at all and I guess even she figured she was lame as fuck and a total fucking attention seeking joke who only had a career cuz she let black dudes piss on her like the urinal at my local community center on a thursday night after the basketball practice and it was probably best to do try to escape that by transforming herself into someone know one fuckin’ recognzied. I hear the next big move towards escaping the shit is pulling a Chastity Bono, so enjoy these tits when you have the chance, cuz with whatever bra she has on, they are pretty spectacular.
Based on Alba’s baby, it’s safe to say she’s a dirty fucking girl, because to have a baby takes cum attaching itself to a uterus and in order for that to happen, Alba had to pull the condom out of the garbage and put it inside out and shove the shit inside her at least 20 times before it actually worked, cuz Cash Warren knew she was skipping her pill to trap him, and insisted on using rubbers that he brought, sometimes doubling the fuck up just in case she poked a hole in the shit or one was to break because she lined her pussy with Vaseline or oil based lubricant that destroys condom or some shit cuz she was just that desperate to get knocked the fuck up and trap the man she convinced herself was her soulmate.
So seeing her with wet hair reminds me that like my friend who fucked a girl with AIDS, no matter how many times she scrubs herself down, even to the point of bleeding, the damage is done and she’s still got serious baggage in the form of a kid and despite how great being a stepfather is, it’s not something I recommend for masturbation fanatasies…..dirty girl.
Here are some pictures of her from last week bending over that I forgot to post…..
I’ve liked Charlize Theron since her 1998 Playboy spread when she was first breakin’ into the celebrity industry the way all good girls should break into the celebrity industry. Maybe it had something to do with me just getting into my Africa fetish and was easing my way in slowly with a white as an elephant’s ivory girl, or maybe it’s just because she had it goin on and as far as I’m concerned, still does, especially when playing with a garden hose like it was my dick. Sure, my dick’s not long or as useful, but it is the same color and that’s good enough for me to make this fantasy complete.
I think these are pictures of Geri Halliwell showing little or no respect to Jesus for dying for her sins, but I could be wrong, but thing the Christian fundamentalist she’s go after her for being the antichrist, but maybe she’s just being a fuckin’ idiot, trying to get attention showing off her mom body that I would probably fuck, despite the fact that she got abs tattooed on by some artist who is a master of shading on her sloppy streteched out mom stomach, not that sloppy mom stomach’s ever stopped me in the past, if anything it’s always taken the front seat because it comes with a solid discount.
I don’t know who Kate Walsh is but when I saw these pictures the caption read that she was heading to a meeting at church that lasted 2 hours and I thought she was dressed a little fucking inappropriate, unless of course she was going to the church of short short sluts who can’t make their marriage work.
That said, shit reminded me of this bitch I saw walking down the street yesterday morning in a pair of high fucking heels and a a short forucking dress, hair a mess, walking kinda slow and groggy, probably from having a rough fuckin night doing her walk of shame like the whore that she is, so I asked her if she was on her way to church just to rub it in and bitch just gave me a dirty fuckin’ look and kept walkin’.
So here are some pics of Kate Walsh and her legs, and they aren’t as interesting as her red vagina, but they’ll have to do.
I wonder if this dude ever expected to be dating a teenage popster after her teenage popstar status slowly started to fade and her designer jeans started to get bigger and bigger back when he was just a Canadian kid digging quarters out of his pedophile coach’s asshole in some kind of game he was told would better his chances of going pro, or some shit that I don’t have concrete proof about, but know from people who did do sports that a whole lot of homo shit goes down from the coaches to the teamates in the shower and in private meetings and the bond a team has means never letting that information out.
I guess the good news is that with weight gain comes fatter tits, which is probably more fun for her boyfriend to overcompensate and mask his homosexual fantasies with.
So here’s a video from the other night of Tila Tequila on Ustream trying to be sexy after a drunken night hosting a party at Penn State university where she pretends she’s drunk and wild, when I can tell it’s a bad act, I can also tell she lives a lonely life where she tries to get as much attention as she can from strangers to make her feel important as she sits in her hotel room at night talking nonsense to a bunch of fuckin losers who care what she has to say and hope they can pull at wack to her at 3 am, and despite being a whore who likes showing off her tits and cocktease talking all about nipslips and bullshit….
She keeps talking about where her people are from and loving her fans and reach, like an idiot and she keeps talking about her army and what she writes on twitter and bullshit and the bullshit only had 6,000 views cuz she is irrelevant, useless and no one cares, even though she starts deep throating her fries 15 minuttes into the video like the trash that she is would do. She deepthroats her burger and her fries and no one fuckin’ cares.
This shit goes on for a fucking hour dude… an hour….
I haven’t figured out what is worse, the fact that Kristin Cavallari’s got enough of a career to justify the paparazzi releasing pictures of her, even if she’s paying them to take the pics, or the fact that I am writing about her. I am going to go that me writing about her is worse, because I have control over that shit and if I was a little more creative, I’d find better ways to occupy my time, like playing tennis, or board games, despite how embarassing both those things are to me, they are better than me giving this girl anymore attention or credit she deserves, meaning I will not praise her useless cunt or make fun of it, she’s a nobody and like most nobodies, I’ll just look, expose myself and move the fuck along.
I guess twitter is a good place for whores who made it as whores to show off their whore ways, cuz they don’t need to get approved by editors or any of that shit, they can just take the pics and be on their whore way. Adrienne Curry’s done playboy and been on some useless fuckng reality shows and she’s taken that talent that is a set of fake tits to Twitter cuz no one else gives a fuck about her anymore so she’ll do it her fuckin’ self.
I just got online from a weekend of binging on drugs and booze cuz being straight edge and sober will kill you. So while I go look and see what’s going on, here’s some shit in the stepFORUM to keep you entertained. Along with all the good content, there’s also good people, even girls who will sleep with your pathetic ass if you tell them they are pretty, the challenge is just finding the ones who are actually chicks and not 45 year old dudes pretending to be chicks. It is like a modern day treasure hunt cuz motherfucker, I like adventure. That’s why I ate out a homeless chick on her period this weekend, at least she said she was on her period, but the tampon may have just been there from a while ago, when her irregular, malnourished ass had its last period, or maybe she’s using it to collect the puss from an infection, either way, my tongue feels like I burnt it on a hot cup of tea….keepin’ it classy, one STD at a time.
My wife changed the lock on me but I worked my way back in and the first thing I did was run to the computer to post the links because I haven’t been home in 48 hours, I am still high from last nights accidental speed binge and I wanted to get my links up as fast as I fuckin’ could so that I could go pass the fuck out. I don’t know why I party so hard, it’s always the same waste of time and nothing interesting ever happens but for some reason I just can’t think of anything better to do….I am listening to Christmas carols, it is almost as inspiring as the header picture…
So DJ AM is dead. For those of you who read the site, he’s been someone I constantly rag on. I’ve met the dude a handful of times and he was always surprisingly cool with me, except for maybe twice where he pretty much told me to fuck myself and told people I know he hated me, but overall, it’s understandable. I always pulled stupid stunts on him over the internet.
Just last week I was ripping into his ugly girlfriend on Facebook who he reportedly broke up with and spiraled into a depression over and now he’s gone and killed himself or at least allegedly killed himself, even after survivng a plane crash, a drug adiction, obesity and an attempted suicide, making millions along the way.
On a sidenote, DJ AM was filming his own intervention type show, so the fact that this is drug related is so fucked up…..
My DJ AM relationship started back in 2004 when I first started the site and he did this interview with me:
Stepfather: So what’s the deal with DJs, why does every girl want a piece of the DJ?
DJ AM: DJs rule… Every girl wants to bone us cause we are the center of attention… And that’s what every girl wants to be.
Stepfather: You used to be fat, I am fat, is life really that much better being thin? Do girls appreciate a fat man, or is your life that much better now that you aren’t fat?
DJ AM: I hated being fat. I miss knocking back a rack of ribs and bakers dozen of Krispie Kremes for a snack but I like being thin for once…
Stepfather: Rumor is that when you lose a lot of weight, your penis gets bigger, is that true?
DJ AM: Yes, my penis has gotten bigger.
Stepfather: I am a fat man and I am scared to sleep with fat women for 2 main reasons, first because fat is disgusting and second because fat gets in the way of sex and I am scared I won’t be able to penetrate fully, how do you feel about sex with fat chicks?
DJ AM: I have a friend who is skinny and he only fucks fat girls. I think he likes the padding and feeling like hes doing some kinky shit. Thing is, your right. If the chick is THAT fat you can’t dig it all the way in cause there are rolls blocking you.
Stepfather: When it comes to sex, what’s the craziest thing you have done, what do you brad to your boys about?
DJ AM: I used to slap the shit out of this one girl who LOVED to be smacked in the face. Iâ€™m not much of a bragger anymore though. I grew old and just like it normal.
Stepfather: How much drugs funnel through the clubs you play at, because I once hung out with a stripper, we were sitting next to each other on the bus and she was telling me that clubs have so many drugsâ€¦I once did an 8-ball of crystal in a trailer park in Dallas, that’s actually where my blog started. How do you feel about drugs and what is your drug of choice.
DJ AM: Drugs RULE! I used to be a crack head for about 2 years. Nothing is more fun then being so wasted you throw up on yourself at 9:45am on your way to downtown LA to buy crack rocks from the mouth of a 12 year old Mexican kid. Drugs are all over the clubs I DJ. I just like sitting back and watching people learn the hard way.
Stepfather: Would you sleep with your stepdaughter/stepsister if she was really hot? If you said no, would you rethink it if you only met her when she was legal or if she was only in your life for a couple of years?
DJ AM: I would not bone my step ANYTHING. That’s just too damn funky and close to home… Well, if she was Adriana Lima then yes.. but only in the ass.
Stepfather: Do you feel that your music is being overshadowed by your celebrity acquaintances, friends, and lovers?
DJ AM: No.
Stepfather: How do you feel about providing us with some random gossip that no one will read, but you feel you need to get off your chest and what’s the deal with celebrity obsession, I like to pretend I care about celebrity, but I only do it for traffic to the site.
DJ AM: Hmmmmmm… gotta think about that…
Stepfather: I am an alcoholic, and I like to drink everything, including rubbing alcohol and tang, what is your drink of choice?
DJ AM: I am a sober recovering alkie… I aint had a drink in 7 years.
Stepfather: What are the chances that you would put me on permanent guestlist to all your events?
DJ AM: Slim to none cause there is no permanent guest list. But, if you give me a reach around in the booth I may get you in to 1 club.
Stepfather: Could you hook me up with naked pics of celebrities, it seems to really drive a lot of traffic to my site and I would really appreciate it, no one would know it is from you.I am thinking a DJ AM sex tape or something, is that likely?
DJ AM: Not a good look for you, got no pics
Stepfather: Who are your musical influences? What kind of music do you dig? What type of music do you play? What gets your dancefloor bumping?
DJ AM: I am strongly influnced by the music of David Hasselhoff. What a voice on that stunning man.
Stepfather: Are you going to pimp the expression that’s porno in LA, I think you have the visibility to make this the next big expression, you down?
DJ AM: It could be… but my girl is not feeling that word. I gotta break it in slowly.
Stepfather: I once saw a picture of you in high-end streetwear, have you always supported streetwear? How do you feel about the popularity of the homeless look, I remember when it was limited to people like me, who actually used food stamps while the hottest thing was Brandon Walsh from 90210…
When his Nicole Richie relationship broke and my site was the top result for DJ AM, he hit me up asking me to remove the shit. I went along with it and as he got more and more famous, he started answering me less and less, but when he came to Montreal invited me to come out to his party where I was carted around with Nicole Richie drinking free booze all night.
Then a few months later, I emailed him saying Nicole Richie is a whore who cheated on him with Steve-O and that’s when he stopped acknowledging me completely.
So being the internet asshole I am, I spent the next 4 years busting his balls, teasing him, sending him stupid emails, being an overall pain in the ass and he just constantly ignored me. He’d come to Montreal, I’d go to the events, he’d tell people he hated my site and then this year, on Twitter, I finally got him to laugh at a few of my jokes and I hope that he got the whole thing was just fuckin’ jokes and didn’t stem from actual hatred…I figure if you’re out there, you’re a target or some shit and I know people out there are expecting me to have a field day with this, but I won’t, because he was an easy target in life for what he did with his DJ talent, but not really into continuing it now that he’s dead.
Either way, I do feel sad for the dude, he’s been through a lot and accomplished a lot and is really well respected and loved. I feel sad that the DJ AM jokes have to end and aren’t funny anymore, but I can honestly say I was glad to have met the dude the times that I did and despite deserving to get shanked for some of the shit I pulled, he would always shake my hand while shaking his head in disappointment and I always got a kick out of that shit.
So RIP Motherfucker.
Here’s a video of him celebrating his bday this year….
Her Name is Greta Gerwig and she’s some kind of independent film actress, she’s getting a bit of buzz and she’s in some upcoming Ben Stiller movie and it is all because of this nude scene in a movie called Nights and Weekends that she co-wrote and co-directed because everyone knows if you wanna make it, you gotta be a fuckin’ whore, even bitches with stupid fucking names like Greta Gerwig, and the highlight in this movie is that dude in it’s got a fuckin’ boner, that never happens in Hollywood….I guess he wrote it in cuz it was the only way he got laid and tricked her into thinking he was doin it to keep the whole thing as true to life as fucking possible….I don’t find her
Last I checked, Courtney Love followed me on Twitter and that kind of support makes her the most beautiful famous person out there. I don’t care what anyone says, she’s a fuckin’ hero and she’s got it going on, all that talk that she’s crazy is just the media blowing things up, I mean if she follows me on twitter that means she’s totally fuckin’ sane and here’s my new internet crush walking around with some dude lookin’ amazing….like a fresh spring chicken hatching from its egg. So vibrant and full of life. Ready to take on the world with a fuckin’ smile..or not…but she’s good enough for me, which isn’t saying much, but it is sayin’ something.