I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

19

Feb

Zoo Girls are Nude and Rude of the Day

Zoo Weekly consistently brings the goods when it comes to slutty Glamour models undressed or dressed half naked. They pretty destroy the American competition because they actually show some fuckin’ tit.

I guess you’re not really the home of the free, when your corporations are so fucking conservative that they won’t sponsor anything with a tit on it, even though those executives pay strippers ten dollars a dance to touch their tits pretty much every time they go away on business.

That’s not even going into the creepy shit those powerful executives do with their wives and their mistresses behind closed doors while always maintaining a clean cut image to make the psycho Christians and uptight WASPS buy their shit, because having an ad next to a picture of a tit or showing a little more tit on network TV would be so fucking bad, considering we all fuck and like fucking.

What I don’t understand is why CSI is on every night, showing people murdered and how they were murdered, with all kinds of dead bodies and blood and shit, but the second someone shows a little ass the FCC is on their ass with a million dollar fine.

It is really fucking crazy, but the good thing is that the UK give dudes what they want without labeling it porn, because let’s face it, we all like tits, except for the gay dudes, but they have Men’s Health to get them through their lonely nights that are a lot less lonely than your lonely nights, because gays like to fuck as much as you like to fuck, so they always find cock all while you’re out trying to convince a girl to get with you on Facebook…..maybe you should re-evaluate your lifestyle.

If you decided you still like tits then check out the 30 Pictures of Zoo Girls Nude and Rude
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Posted in:Nude|Zoo Weekly

2008

19

Feb

Girls Aloud Bikini Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

So it turns out that the Girls Aloud sluts from the UK have a new album out, not that I’ve ever heard their other album, but I think it’s safe to say that it wasn’t award winning and either will this. They are just a group of party sluts with a Spice Girl dream and it worked out for them because here they are celebrating their accomplishments in their bikinis, instead of working at the topless diner like they should be….at least Cheryl Tweedy Cole should be while the ugly one stays in the back and does the dishes….no one wants to look at that shit.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Tweedy Cole|Girls Aloud

2008

19

Feb

Kathleen Turner Hasn’t Had Sex in 2 Years of the Day

So Kathleen Turner is crazier than Britney and drunker than I am. Bitch is on Larry King talking about how she hasn’t had sex in 2 years pretty much because no one has turned her on in the last 2 years since her husband left her. I wonder if she’s looked in the mirror long enough to realize that she probably hasn’t turned anyone on in the last 2 years and that’s why they haven’t turned her on…they were too busy trying to get out of the conversation and run away, that is because she hasn’t met me because I have no standards and would totally fuck her like I was romancing the stones and by stones I mean old drunk fat lady who has more money than my wife and who wouldn’t judge my drinking…..

Posted in:Kathleen Turner|Sex

2008

19

Feb

Lohan Does the WWE of the Day

It turns out that a 40 year old Lohan has very little to do now that her career is pretty much non existent so bitch is hitting up one of the classier nights of the week at WWE’s Monday Night Raw. In my life, I’ve never understood much about wrestling or the hype about wrestling other than that every Italian or Greek dude I’ve ever met has had a thing for it and that it is the closest thing to gay porn on TV, because half naked dudes, greased up and pretending to fight by rolling all over each other’s half naked body is what the gays call foreplay.

Maybe I’m just traumatized by wrestling, because I remember when growing up, I knew a kid who always wanted to wrestle and not knowing any better, I went for it. After pinning the motherfucker down, I felt his boner against my leg and realized he was a little too into wrestling for me. Later in life I remember wrestling girl expecting it to lead to fooling around but it turned out that it wasn’t foreplay, it was just rape.

Either way, despite the mask, this dude’s not me, in case you were wondering, because if it was me my had would be up Lohan’s shirt dress and I’d be trying to suck on her haggard face, not to mention I would be wearing my favorite soiled sweatpants and not a shirt that’s got more life than my vomit after a night of drinking…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Mexican Mask|Wresting|WWE

2008

19

Feb

Carey Hart Celebrates Divorce with Pink of the Day

The big news of the day that no one cares about is that Pink and Carey Hart are officially getting a divorce. Based on this picture that was sent to me, Carey Hart is pretty hurt by it. I guess it is because Carey has decided to denounce his homosexuality, because as far as I’m concerned Pink’s no lesbian, she’s a man.
Either way, this is what her publicist had to say:

“Pink and Carey Hart have separated. This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another, while the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger.”

I guess annoucing that Carey was just going through a weird experimental phase and has decided to go back to real vagina instead of the man-pussy he married wouldn’t be good for her career, since some people still think she’s a hot piece of ass and those people are the same kind of people who ask their wives and girlfriends to find their p-spot.

I guess you can’t be too bitter when your man realizes you’re a man and they aren’t down with that after years of deception or whatever the fuck else Pink did to trick dude on their first date to fuck her.

This is a lot like the time I was outside my building and my neighbor came home with a Tranny. I pulled him aside and told him that bitch was a man and he told me I was crazy. The next day, I got a knock on my door and he said “bitch was a man, you were right” and I asked what he did, thinking he beat her up and kicked her out for trickin’ her and he told me he fucked her. because he was in too deep and that they were going out again that night, because since he already did it once, he’s already got over the stigma of having sex with a tranny. If you know what I mean, which you do, because you felt the same way the first time you masturbated after years of convincing yourself it was the Devil’s Sport, until doing it and never stopping…seriously, it’s making me uncomfortable….

Posted in:Carey Hart|Divorce|Pink

2008

19

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I’m BACK!!! That was a pretty great week. Not having the site up was like a much needed vacation. It turns out that I have nothing better to do than this site, so I sat on the couch with my computer frying my balls with the radiation even though I couldn’t really update it. That’s the life I am living…..

I did find this girl though:

any male want to ever call me here is my number i am always horny and wanna talk 1-514-894-1815 and e-mail is cossettedanger@hot-mail.com oh and forgot to say name is cossette. I am from quebec canada. so please people dont be shy. i am always free.

Call her and tell me if it is legit because I am shy and think it’s a scam.

Here are my links, there’s a lot of them, all are good. Think of it as when you haven’t had sex or masturbated in a long time and have a build up….you probably don’t know what that feels like – but this is similar…

The Big Brother House Cast Has a Weird Porn Past – Here Are the Pics
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Vide Guerra Showing Off Her Tit Muscles on the Beach Video
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Guess Who The Asian Tits Belong To
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Spring Breakapalooza Video
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Blonde Girls Like To Party With Their Big Old Tits
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Here are the 50 Most Memorable Bedroom Pin-Ups Ever
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More on the Big Brother 9 Blow Jobs
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Eva Longoria Sucking a Popsicle Like it was Your Cock
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Nicole Scherzinger is Posing in a Bikini for a Magazine
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Courtney Cox Trying to Pose Sexy
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Some Jordan in a See Through Shirt With Her New Tits
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Some Lohan In More Clothes Than Her Nude Pics
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Danielle Lloyd Promoting Her Work Out DVD in Spandex Shorts
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Lindsay Lohan is On The Same Drugs Heath Ledger Was On…..
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Cate Blanchett Shows Off Her Pregnancy Belly Button
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Peta Hates Aretha Franklin Even Though She’s a Cow
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Some Dude and His Penis Nose
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Some Chick Named Eva Angelina Posing Dirty
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Some Messed Up Fireman Got Busted Wearing a Bikini in the Park
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Slow Motion Water Balloon Exploding on Tits
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When Bad Tattoos Happen to Porn Stars
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Here are All the New Dancing With the Stars Contestants
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Natalie and Scarlett With Tits Almost Making Out
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Hayden Panettiere’s Boyfriend Hates Her Too
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Some Asian Cam Girl Teasing
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Crazy Baltimore Cop is At it Again
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Paris Hilton Wants More Travis Barker Cock
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Maria Menounos In Pink
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Some Girl Says No When Some Dude Proposes to Her at a Basketball Game
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Stacey Keibler Flashing Her Slut Ass in a Green Bikini before She Was Famous
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Illiterate Amateur Porn Star
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Second Creepy Craigslist Listing
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Some Topless Girl’s Underwater Pics Weirdness
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Allison Angel Does Her Laundry then Masturbates
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Here’s a video of an Invincible Russsian Dude Jumping Off a Building
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Madonna and Her Black Baby Out
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Some Webcam Girl Teasing
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Some Creepy Dude and His Elmo Doll
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Breast Flash Causes a Car Accident
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Here is a Huge Gallery of UK Model Jakki Degg
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Throwback Pictures of and Old Pam Anderson in Her Baywatch Bathing Suit
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Some Kind Emotionally Unstable Kid
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Her Name is Silvia Horvathova and She’s Posing Naked in Fur and It’s Worth Watching
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Here are a Whole Lot of Hot Chicks in Video
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This Girl Thinks She’s Hip Hop and She’s Fucking Annoying
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Her Name is Kathy Lee and She’s Posing Dirty
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Some Amateur Teen and Her Webcam Ass
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Her Name is Saskia Howard Clarke and Here She is Posing in Lingerie
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Ron Jeremy in Some Vintage Role as a Rapist….
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Some Mom on Drugs Raving
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Some Big Tits on Webcam
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Some Dude’s Team Convince Him He Was Traded to an Asian Team
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SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SWIMSUIT VIDEO

Here’s Jeisa In Her Bikini Photoshoot Video
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Here’s Marisa Miller In Her Bikini Photoshoot Video
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Here’s Daniela Sarahyba in Her Bikini Photoshoot Video
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PRESIDENT’S DAY SPECIAL :

Funny Jewish / Black Racist Porn Part 1
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Funny Jewish / Black Racist Porn Part 2
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Funny Jewish / Black Racist Porn Part 3
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Camera Phone TIts
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Some Naked Posing and Lesbianism
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Some Erotic Photographer Nudity because When it is Black and White it is Art
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A Girl and Her Tits
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Some Thong Asses
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A Dude’s Porn Collection
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A Girl and Her Big Fake TIts SHowing OFf
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Mexican Lookin’ Tits
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Some Teenage Lookin’ Motherfucker’s Album With Some Young Vagina He’s Collected..
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FROM THE FORUM

Unreleased Sheryl Crow Album
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Modest Mouse – Ocean Breathes Salty
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Prodigy – Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned
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Poe – Haunted
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The Streets Thread
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Lifehouse – Who We Are
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The Decemberists Thread
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Dick Dale – King of the Surf Guitar
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Lloyd Banks – Hunger for More
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Jay-Z — Dynasty Roc La Familia
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50 Cent – Get Rich or Die Tryin’
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Hard-Fi — Stars of CCTV
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Mojo Magazine OK_Computer
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Arcade Fire – No Cars Go EP
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Daniel Johnston – Fear Yourself
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Gang Starr – The Ownerz
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Arcade Fire – Intervention EP
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The Very Best of Motorhead
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A Wilco Book CD
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Air – 10,000 Hertz Legend
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Air – Live at the BBC
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CSS – Cansei De Ser Sexy
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Nirvana – Live in Milan
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Jedi Mind Tricks Presents Outerspace
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ODB – A Son Unique
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Justin Timberlake – Justified
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Colder – Again
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Arcade Fire – Funeral
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M83 – Before the Dawn Heals Us
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Gus Gus – Hold You
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The Cardigans – The First band on the Moon
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Get Some Porn..it is Fun…
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Use this to Find GIrls to FUck – Because Girls are Fun
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

18

Feb

Laetitia Casta in a Bikini of the Day

Here’s ex-Victoria Secret model named Laetitia Casta in a bikini. She obviously hasn’t had much work in the last 5 years based on her shitty lookin ass and it turns out that her career peaked back then when everyone told her she was the hottest bitch in the world and she got cocky and decided that she didn’t have to work for it anymore and let herself go.

I’ve always thought she had a stupid lookin’ mouth and bad teeth because I remember a time when I couldn’t visit a celebrity porn site without seeing a gallery of her topless and now she’s a nothing and nowhere to be found.

I have nothing else to say right now, I am going to get a drink. Happy President’s Day you Americans, I assume you’re all too busy getting dressed up as or jerking off to pictures of George Bush and all the other past presidents to waste your time reading this site. Cuddles.

Posted in:Bikini|Laetitia Casta

2008

18

Feb

Kim Kardashian’s Big Tits and Ass on Valentine’s Day of the Day

My wife just came out of the room wearing some kind of silk sheet as a dress and told me that she’s decided to become a plus sized model at 40 years old. I told her that plus sized models are just a lazy disgusting version of regular sized models and they only get work because America is fat as fuck and offended by regular sized models, calling them too skinny and boney and all that other hurtful shit that is a hell of a lot better than being plus sized. It still gives fat girls the opportunity to get work pretending to be normal and attractive and not lazy slob freaks of nature they are….and that said my wife’s got no chance because she can barely get out of bet let alone fit into a pair of plus sized pants for people to take pictures of.

I went on to tell her that what we don’t see after jerking off to those plus sized lingerie catalogs that I know you’re so fond of, is that it’s not all that glamorous. It’s all about a whole lot of fabric and elastic bands, reinforced runways and chairs, emergency crews at the shoots in case of heart attacks and most importantly all you can eat buffets. That’s when I lost my wife’s attention and she hit up the kitchen for her own all you can eat party involving her and her best friend Oreo.

Here’s some Kim Kardashian from last week showing off her plus sized tits and plus sized ass at some plus sized event because she’s luxurious like that.

Posted in:Big Ass|Big Tits|Kim Kardashian

2008

18

Feb

Danielle Lloyd Upskirt Pictures of the Day

I assume nobody really knows who Danielle Lloyd is or what she does because I don’t know who she is or what she does. I am pretty self absorbed making me not really care what you think or know, but that’s just because I’m too lazy to care, it’s nothing personal.

What I do take personally is how fucking shitty these upskirt pictures are. If you’re going out there to get noticed because no one knows who you are or what you do, don’t throw on a pair of boring white underwear and give us a half glimpse of white like we’re in a Japanese fuckin’ private school and you’ve just finished shitting on our chest. I figure a little pussy lip or maybe a spread eagled vagine getting fisted from your friend or even a little sheer or lace or maybe even a tampon string hanging out will give the normal guy something to rub one out to because that will make your career more relevant and that’s what we’re all going for here, isn’t it?

Posted in:Danielle Lloyd|Panties|Upskirt

2008

18

Feb

Eva Longoria’s Bikini Ass Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

If I wanted to see a Mexican in a a bikini, I’d just sneak into my stepdaughter’s room and squeeze into one of hers, again. Unfortunately, I am not very pretty to look at, otherwise I’d be pursuing a career as the first man to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated, but instead I am just humiliating myself in front of myself, which coincidentally is also in front of all my friends. I guess the good news is that watching me in a bikini, despite being pretty fucking homo, is more entertaining than seeing this bitch on all fours.

I know some of you like her, because she’s the second hottest girl on Desperate Housewives, which is like saying she’s the second hottest girl at the burn victim ward of the hospital because she only lost 40 % of her face. If that didn’t make sense, maybe this will….If you put a decent looking girl amongst old hags, you’re going to naturally want to to fuck her and wrongfully think she’s hot.

It’s some brainwashing that TV does to us that make it impossible to reprogram our brains back to normal and part of the reason why you still think Katie Holmes is a hot piece of ass and you still have Dawson’s Creek posters on your wall. Weirdo.

Regardless, I know she is still hotter than anything you’ve ever fucked, but that’s mainly because you’ve only had sex once and it was with a dog, So I know you would still fuck her, even though you think she’s damaged goods for marrying and getting knocked up by a black guy and his basketball playing penis, You’re racist but not racist enough to turn down vagina….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Eva Longoria|Tits

2008

18

Feb

Kimbo Slice 43 Second Knock Out of the Day

I am scared of Kimbo Slice and since he’s some kind of internet phenomenon with all his backyard brawls that he destroys people in, I figured those of you who missed his fight this past weekend, and who get off on seeing dudes get their asses kicked, would want to see this.

All I know about Kimbo Slice is that he worked as a bodyguard for the porn company RK Networks, who do shit like Bang Bus and Bang Bros and Milf Hunter and all the porn you jerk off to and now he’s a 34 year old professional thug who I won’t make fun of because even I have my limits especially when it comes to making fun of crazy big people, except when I am drunk. I almost got in a fight this weekend after drinking a bottle of vodka. I slipped and fell on some thug who was carrying a street sign that he was going to use on some guy’s face. I didn’t realize dude was carrying a weapon and thought he was just being a drunken jackass who wasn’t on the kind of murderous rampage he was on and I tried to steal his sign from him being the annoying drunk that I am. I don’t remember what happened after that – but I don’t think dude beat me up because I’m still here even though I woke up at 9 am in a snowbank. That’s just the way I’m livin’ and it beat sleeping with my furnace of a wife because dirty snow smells better than dirty fat pussy.

Posted in:Fighter|Kimbo Slice

2008

18

Feb

Bobby Brown Almost Pisses on Twisted Sister of the Day

Bobby Brown is on some TV show that I have never seen and it turns out that motherfucker is a sleepwalkin’ pisser. That means that dudes gets out of bed in his sleep and pisses in random places. That also means that dude has probably pissed on Whitney Houston numerous times and makes you wonder how that went over the first time his little disorder came to light but she was probably too high to realize what was going down and appreciated that dude gave her dehydrated crackhead self a little something to drink.

I used to know a dude who had the same problem as Bobby Brown, but was never lucky enough to have my face pissed on. It turned out that he was the worst person to bring to a chick’s “after party” because he would always end up passing out when I was trying to get busy. I remember sitting on the couch one time fingering some chick and dude walked out of the bedroom he was sleeping in, walked up to the chair next to us. lifted the cushion on the chair up like it was a toilet seat and pissed all over that fucking thing. It stank of piss right until I sold it to someone for booze. Another time, I brought him to some chick I was fucking’s house and he walked in on us while I was giving it to her and pissed in her laundry basket without realizing it.

He was kind of cock block because every time he went anywhere he’d end up pissing on other people’s shit and people don’t seem to respond well to people pissing on their shit, no matter how funny it is, unless it’s in their unflushed toilet in which case they are just embarrassed that you’ve seen what kind of shit they are packing and try to pretend it never happened.

My defense for my friend and for this Bobby Brown motherfucker is that at least they aren’t a sleepwalking rapists, because pissing on some dirty laundry is a lot easier to handle emotionally than waking up being pinned down by some snoring motherfucker’s dick in your ass. True story.

Posted in:Bobby Brown|Pissing|Sleep Walking

2008

18

Feb

Paris Hilton Does the Pussycat Dolls for Her Birthday of the Day

I have always found Paris Hilton offensive, I think it started when I saw how bad of a fuck she was in her shitty video and continued in pretty much everything she did, including this stunt at her birthday party this past weekend where she performed with the Pussycat Doll like she’s someone we want to see in lingerie, without realizing that she is someone we want to see disappear.

I figure that at 27, bitch should lay off the club slutting and settle down with some unwanted pregnancy and deadbeat boyfriend, at least that would get her out of her lingerie and into a housecoat which in Paris’ case, fully clothed is a lot hotter than half naked, but instead she insists on hitting the clubs everynight like some kind of 19 year college girl looking for a rich guy to give her free drinks off his bottle to get her drunk enough to take her back to his luxury condo to teach her ass a life lesson about taking free drinks from a dude.

In these pictures Paris looks like a tranny rockin’ out at a drag show which makes sense since she’s at LAX in Vegas and that’s DJ AM’s on the “down low” gay club that he pretends isn’t a gay club because of he throws bikini contests to distract us from the fact that it’s a gay club, like that time I walked into the bus station at 2 am to take a shit after drinking too much on a bench outside and every bathroom stall was being used by married dudes who would meet there to get busy with other men they didn’t know while their wives were at home. It made for a pretty awkward shit.

Either way, we know the truth about DJ AM and that he is responsible for turning Nicole Richie into a little 90 pound 14 year old boy a few years back because it was the only way he could get it up for her. From what I’ve been told his erectile dysfunction had nothing to do with all the drugs he did in the past, but had to do with wanting dick and even going so far to get gastric bypass to be more desirable in the gay club circuit and I can only assume he’s involved in the hardening of Paris’ face that’s making her look like this skinny dude I know who has a little addiction to size 10 high heels and cheap lingerie, he’s not gay just a little confused from all the drugs he’s on to forget the time his childhood piano teacher taught him what jerking off is with his mouth.

Posted in:Birthday|Burlesque|Lingerie|Paris Hilton|Pussycat Dolls|Slut

2008

18

Feb

Lohan Topless in Some Photoshoot of the Day

These pictures of Lohan in some photoshoot for New York magazine recreating some Marilyn Monroe shoot were just sent to me and she’s topless. Now everyone who reads this site know I have a fake crush on coke whore and her tits are pretty much the main reason why. It’s definitely got nothing to do with her freckled skin that is cute when she it on a kid running a lemonade stand and not so cute when it looks like the coke whore just did some scat porn to get more coke and hasn’t had enough time to shower.

I don’t know what I am talking about, I’m riding off a 3 day hangover. Look at the pics because the best way to draw attention to your useless drug addicted self is to get naked. Remember that girls and be sure to start by sending them to me first.

I know having a sheet between you and lohan seems pretty shitty in pictures because it’s blocking out her pussy, but if this was real life that sheet is a necessity but preferably in latex because skin to skin contact with this whore has some serious repercussions , it’s kinda like wearing a helmet when riding a bike or when retarded so you don’t smash your head in the wall repeatedly.

I had to Take the Pics Down So Check them Out Here – but Put Them Back Up – Fuck ‘Em…
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Here’s My Email Communication with NY Mag
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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Naked|Nude|Photoshoot|Topless

2008

16

Feb

DrunkenStepfather Does Maxim of the Day

So I got an email saying that I was in Maxim Magazine on Page 32. I figured before the other 3 of you email me, I’d clear this shit up because it was written by a dude who got fired from CollegeHumor and CollegeHumor is garbage leading me to believe that someone not good enough to write for them is probably not good enough to write about me – and I was right. I would have obviously preferred to written about from someone who worked and got fired from a more reputable company, Fuck I would have rather been written about by the drunk dude I met at some bar who was writing what I though was a novel on napkins but when I got closer, turned out to be a a doodle of a dog taking a shit on some big breasted slut but that’s just because I appreciated his artistic vision.

Either way, Complex wrote that I was on of the most influential guys of 2008 and a week later Maxim emailed me. They wanted to do an article on the site and I am not an idiot and said yes because in the 90s, I read Maxim and the thought of getting featured in it seemed like a good thing to do even though no one I know has picked up the magazine in the last 5 years, including myself….

I told them that I don’t leave my house and that they’ll have to do the interview with me over the computer. They refused. So I had to find a way to either get to New York which wasn’t about to happen, or send someone in New York who I know to pretend to be me otherwise there’d be no Maxim article and I figured I had to make it happen…because people don’t offer to do articles on me ever.

Now, I am not very popular and don’t know many people so the only guy who could get there was a chubby white mexican dude I’ve known for a while who is 30. He did the interview. I did the follow up over email and they wrote that I don’t really exist but I do and you’re reading me.

The good news is that they legitimized me being a pervert – they made it out to be some new side of the media called Pervarazzi, like writing sleazy shit about sluts is something to be proud of and this justifies everyone I’ve ever sexually harassed or touched inappropriately over the years. If only I knew the name of that girl I who passed out at a party next to me and who made a big deal about it when she woke up with my hand down her pants telling her boyfriend who was in the other room that I was some sick pervert leading him to beat me up, so that I could show them this article and prove that they were just part of research. I feel smart, like a pervert who just figured out showing girls his camera and telling them it was for art, makes them them get naked for art and instead of slapping him in the face for being a pervert. So thanks to Maxim for making all those dark secrets I’ve regretted but still jerk off to mean something more substantial and like I am leading some kind of revolution…..

So this is the Maxim story. I guess it’s a big enough deal but I won’t consider my life a success until you see me in the mexican wrestling mask on The View trying to finger bang Elizabeth under the table, but that’s because I’m a housewife like that. That may just be fiction like Maxim claims I am, but dreams do come true. Cuddles.

Posted in:Maxim|Pervarazzi|stepCOVERAGE