I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

16

Apr

From the stepFORUM of the Day

Nothing makes me feel like a bigger loser than I already know I am, than going to the stripclub alone, already something you’d consider pathetic, unless you were out of town, and not having one stripper come up to talk to me. It’s like they either sense my poverty or don’t like my odor, but they’re fucking strippers and that’s what they’re supposed to fuckin’ put up with. To make shit worse, the girls were low quality, I went to a cheap spot and I’m talking fat dumpy pigs of girls that I wouldn’t even talk to for free and the place wasn’t busy, and they still didn’t come up and talk to me, further proving that I suck at life.

At least I got this stepFORUM shit going on, it’s better than awkward boners.

Register to See Everything and Get Involved!
GO

———Celebs———

HOT – Chanelle Hayes – LQ’s from a Nuts shoot (NSFW)
GO

Audrina Patridge With Her Hot Sister @ Into the Blue 2 Premiere
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio – Smoking hot in Homem Vogue *ass shot* (NSFW)
GO

Kristen Bell @ Loomstate for Target Collection
GO

Paris Hilton out & about with dude in Amsterdam
GO

Jenna Jameson gets ‘the twins’ out in public
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Holly Madison @ premiere of “Into The Blue 2: The Reef”
GO

Megan Fox @ Val’s Surf Shop in Valley Village
GO

Jennifer Love Hewitt – Maxim – May 2009
GO

Alessandro Ambrosio headed to LAX Airport
GO

Emma Watson Looking too hot for her age
GO

Alyssa Milano Promotes the Touch Collection
GO

Lucy Clarkson Topless (NSFW)
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Sophie Anderton |Various Dresses
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Persia White – King Mag
GO

Kim Kardashian @ Mommywood book launch
GO

Romola Garai various pics
GO

Michelle Trachtenberg – “17 Again” Premiere
GO

———Music———

Rick Ross – Deeper Than Rap
GO

The J.B.’s – Bring The Funk On Down
GO

The Hold Steady – A Positive Rage
GO

CunninLynguists – Will Rap For Food
GO

I’ve Gotta Be Me: The Best Of Sammy Davis, Jr.
GO

Madina Lake – Attics To Eden
GO

Fuel – Best Of
GO

Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
GO

Patti Smith – iTunes Originals
GO

Vivere – The Best of Andrea Bocelli
GO

Crown City Rockers – Earthtones
GO

Depswa – Demos
GO

AC/DC – Rare, Rarer, & Rarities
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Decyfer Down – Crash
GO

Van Morrison & John Lee Hooker – Together
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Pavarotti Forever
GO

Nappy Roots – Wooden Leather
GO

———Random——–

Cheerleading coach fired after hottest nude photo scandal ever (NSFW)
GO

Skydiving Simulator (video)
GO

Navy Flashers (you know, for the Somali Pirates)
GO

Call It! Samsung Camera Trick- video (Can you figure it out?)
GO

2009 USPDF Pole Dancing Competition (video)
GO

———E-books———

Dresden Files!
GO

Popular Mechanics – May 2009
GO

Uncommon Sense: Out of the Box Thinking for An In the Box World
GO

How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends
GO

———Movies and TV Shows———

South Park – Season 13, Episode 6
GO

The Uninvited (2009 dvdrip)
GO

Robin Hood – Seasons 1 – current
GO

Hannah Montana The Movie (2009 Cam)
GO

Never Surrender (2009 dvdrip)
GO

100 Feet (2008 dvdrip)
GO

———Audio books———

Joe Torre: The Yankee Years
GO

Mark Levin – Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto
GO

Even The Sun Will Die – Eckhart Tolle
GO

———Sleaziness———

Can He Score – Melissa Lauren
GO

Cream Pie Thai’s
GO

Young With Big Tittaaaaaaays
GO

Katharina “Large Natural Melons In Sexy Skintight Bodywear”
GO

Lt.Dangle Says This Cutie Can’t Handle It All
GO

Maxbailey’s Random Ams
GO

Can He Score – Isis Taylor
GO

Victoria Kruz – Oiled Up and Horny
GO

Denise Milani is a Goddess
GO

Oh, Little Little Mandy
GO

Max Gots Ams
GO

Posted in:stepFORUM

2009

16

Apr

A Little Alexis Arquette Weirdness of the Day

Here’s everyone’s favorite transgendered person giving props to Lindsay Lohan for her eHarmony Funny or Die shit. The good thing about this tranny is that she’s got some a pretty good sense of humor, I mean I guess you’d have to, and a solid set of legs, but shit’s still not working for me, the way it is probably working for you, but that’s just because you can’t come to terms with your homosexuality. Sure it may be obvious thing to say, but you’re really not fooling anyone, I know you sit in bed at night crying about that boy you work with, trying to make sense of the confusion, kinda like anyone who gets down Alexis Arquette’s panties.

I slept in, spent the night at a stripclub, the morning fighting with useless famous people’s kids on twitter, but I’m here now. Watch the video.

Posted in:Alexis Arquette|Crazy|Tranny|Weird

2009

16

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

So I got this weird Email:

Dear Sir or Ma’am,

My name is Monti Robinson and I am seeking a Herpes and HPV social networking community I’ve found your website to be a terrific fit for me.

I would like to ask if you would mind linking me to a website for people looking to network with people with Herpes and HPV.

Why would anyone want to network with people with Herpes or HPV, even if you’ve got the shit, you don’t wanna fuck chicks with the shit, because you don’t want their strain to merge with your strain and turn into some super strain on your dick, it’s better to just ignore the calls when the girl you fucked hits you up for giving her Herpes or HPV, it’s not like it is going to kill her.

That said, I have a pornstar crush on a girl named Bree Olson because I think she’s got a really good personality….right….and big natural tits…and she is funny…and she knows how to fuck. She emailed me directing me to a contest and because if you’re like me, you get soft in the knees and hard in the dick when pornstars email you, so now you’ve got to go vote for her….

VOTE FOR BREE BECAUSE WE LOVE HER
GO

Here are my the rest of my stepLINKS:

God Knows We All Need Something To Get Us Through This Shitstorm of a Week
GO

Lisa Rinna and Her Hemorroid Lips Did Playboy
GO

Debra Wilson Flashing Throwback
GO

Remember Jordana Brewster? She’s in Maxim This Month
GO

I’m No Faggot Ass Softee, But a Kitten On a Turntable is Kind Awesome
GO

Best Use for a Vibrating Phone I’ve Seen in Awhile
GO

The 9 Hottest Mexican Women
GO

Marlon Brando and His Gay Sex Secret Picture Scandal….
GO

Drew Barrymore Looks Not Hot At Some Movie Premiere
GO

Lieke Van Lexmond is Just Wow
GO

Recovery. What Happened?
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Crazy Freddie Will Pay YOu to Take HIS Money
GO

Bikini Ass Always Makes My Day Better, How About You?
GO

Hulk Hogan Understands OJ, Probably Cause He Wants to Kill His Wife Too
GO

Stuck With Sexy Girls in an Elevator? No Problem
GO

Jamie Foxx Apologize for That Whole “I Hope Miley Cyrus Gets Chlamydia Thing
GO

Isabella Rosselini Makes Porno With Sea Animals
GO

Rachel McAdams is Kind of Girl Next Door Hot
GO

The Pussy Thrower Has Something to Say
GO

Dolly Parton is Amazing and I Love Her
GO

Ashley Rhey is Pin Up Perfect
GO

How DO YOU Hide You Porn
GO

Dude Gets Rejected By a Fat Drunk Girl. I’m Sure You Can Relate, Loser
GO

Agenessa is Oh So Smooth
GO

The Dirtiest Asshole Ad I’ve Ever Seen
GO

Top 10 Celebrity Perverts of All Time
GO

KY Ads to Increase Female Pleasure
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Katie Green is Topless
GO

Random Awesomeness
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Surprise! Paris Hilton is Looking For New Penis Already
GO

Pink Looks Kind of Okay Topless
GO

Throwback Pics of Hayden Panettiere Pickin’ Her Ass and Lickin’ It
GO

Jenni BEhind the Scenes
GO

I’d Like to Have Some Safe Sex With Solange
GO

Amanda Bynes Versus Vanessa Hudgens – Legs Showdown
GO

Denise Milani is Surfing
GO

Jessica Simpson’s Mother Thinks She is a Big Boobed Tramp hahahah
GO

More Stop Motion Amazingness
GO

Mommy Where’s My Doll?
GO

Madonna’s Nanny is Running Her Fucking Mouth
GO

The 5 Best Movies Featuring Accountants
GO

They Call Her Olc Faithful
GO

Asses Galore!!
GO

Bonus – Here’s a Reader’s Rap Video – I Like To Support People With No Talent and Turn Them Into Internet Legends….

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

15

Apr

Jamie Pressly Would Make Elvis Proud of the Day

I have a crush on Jamie Pressly. These things happen. I don’t even care that babies have rolled through her, I like her so much I’d get down to her birthing videos, just to see her vagina, and that’s saying a lot, because lets face it, when a baby is pushing his way through a mucus, blood filled mess of a vagina, it’s definitely not lookin’ its best. It must be real internet love.

Posted in:Hot|Jamie Pressly

2009

15

Apr

Shauna Sand and Her Luxurious Boy Toy of the Day

What the fuck does Shauna Sand do. She’s some kind of lazy bitch who just coasts through life doing the bare minimum, but managed to become relevant in the process. She’ll fuck the right guy, she’s marry the right guy, she’s get naked at the right time, pregnant at the right time and her hustle, that really isn’t a hustle, managed to work out for her lazy spic ass.

Last night I was at the stripclub and got totally offended by their lack of work ethic. They weren’t hustling private dances, but laying in the fucking booth like a bunch of fucking slobs, who seemingly were exhausted from the hard night of work, but were in reality just lazy fucking strippers who don’t like working, hence the reason why they are strippers.

I guess I should lower my expectations for whores and just watch Shauna Sands tits with the young shirtless guy who is cumming on them.

Posted in:Boy Toy|Shauna Sand

2009

15

Apr

Rumer Willis has No Bra On and it is Disgusting of the Day

Everyone hates on Rumer Willis wondering why the hell she looks like something that could only grow up next to a power plant or something, you know someone who developed in the womb feeding off radiation and whatever remnants of drugs, alcohol in Demi’s mutated uterus, but the truth is she looks just like her wonky-faced mother, before the millions of dollars of plastic surgery and I guess that’s part of the reason why Ashton Kutcher fucks her, you know to get with an ugly, younger version of his wife while giving her the confidence she needs to not kill herself, because if Ashton fucks her, that probably means other guys will too and tons of girls would die to fuck Ashton since they find him hot, kind of thing, so in a lot of ways, his pity sex saved her fuckin’ life while fueling his perversions, even though she’d be much more successful as a lesbian because lesbians are less judgemental and like pussy for the person behind the pussy and that is why lesbians are for the most part fat, manly and disgusting.

Either way, here’s Rumer Willis pumping gas in what looks like a shirt without a bra because I guess she’s finally come to terms with the inevitable, and that’s to dyke the fuck out.

Posted in:Monster|Nipples|Rumer Willis

2009

15

Apr

Evan Rachel Wood Lookin’ Scary for GQ of the Day

Marilyn Manson’s exgirlfriend or current girlfriend or whatever the fuck she is did a photoshoot for GQ and not unlike vampire freaks before her, selling her soul to the devil, hiding from the sun, keepin’ skinny on a blood diet, talking about intense shit amongst each other like planning school shootings and hating the government and “normal” people, hasn’t made her any hotter even if sex with her would be on some next level serial killer level of intensity, her 6 inch blade tampon remains a turn off.

I don’t know what I am talking about, but I am sure it’s something.

Posted in:Evan Rachel Wood|GQ

2009

15

Apr

Elle Macpherson and Her Vacation Pictures of the Day

Elle Macpherson is one of the first supermodels I can remember jerking off to in the 80s, like really diggin and jerkin’ off to because I am sure there were many before her, but they remain nameless and she’s the one that stands out in my tattered brain.

Here she is on vacation with her kids and based on the waterskiing, it looks like she’s holding onto the past, because last time I checked, no one fucking waterskis anymore, it’s a thing of the past, dated like neon sun protecting cream, an ancient art and passtime, which is appropriate, because so is Elle Macpherson’s vagina. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..good one.

Posted in:Bikini|Elle Macpherson|Pictures|Vacation

2009

15

Apr

Fergie is Almost Showing Off Some Ass of the Day

I was talking to some 20 year old girl the other day and obviously shit lead to talking about her vagina. I made some comment about wanting my old balls hanging off her chin and she got back at me with some shit about loving old balls and I got into some shit about not loving old pussy and she got into some shit about how she doesn’t have an old pussy and how it is young and tight and is hard to get more than one finger in without screaming….

So instead of jumping her then and there, I took it to the next level in sabotaging my chances of fucking her, by letting her know that there are some 2 year old cars that are seemingly still new and in good shape, but when you check out their milage, you can see they are well fuckin’ traveled and may not be something you’d trust on a long distance journey, or really even a trip to the store down the block, you know cuz the suspension is gone, the tires are bald and it burns oil. She got that I was calling her a slut in one of my more obscure ways of calling her a slut and it turns out girls don’t jump on dicks who imply they are sluts, since I guess they like the whole denial of what they have done to themselves….and they don’t care that fucking 40 dudes could be considered a lot to some people because they felt each and everyone of those cocks was worth the ride.

I guess that has nothing to do with a married Fergie almost flashing her ass, I mean other than her being a dirty ditch pig of a woman who has probably done some interesting things for Meth back when she was “addicted”, you know shit that makes flashing the world your ass seem pretty fucking tame.

I wonder if this story makes any fucking sense, I didn’t bother re-reading it, so just ignore the typos, I’m rushing and not Russian.

On a side note -I am digging the new Black Eyed Peas Song….

Posted in:Ass|Fergie

2009

15

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio is Kissing Some Dude of the Day

Hey look a girl you’ve jerked off to many fucking times is in love with another guy, unfortunately for you, this is something you’re getting used to. It all started when you were a 12 year old boy and the pretty girl in your class went off with someone else, even after you reached out and wrote her a love letter and before you spat in her face, called her a cunt and got suspended and issued a restraining order against her from the school, pretty much starting a common theme in your life, that you probably will never be able to live down.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Kissing

2009

15

Apr

Some Useless Gastineau Tit of the Day

Brittany Gastineau is almost as useless as the fat chick at the stripclub who had small tits and was too wasted to stand and kept trippin’ up all over herself. You know, as a fat chick, you have a certain level of responsibility, that involves you having to go above and beyond what the skinny chicks are up to, because you are fat and that applies to this Gastineau pig too, step it up a notch, flash us a little fat pussy or something, keep it fucking interesting, because your motivation and effort is really ALL you have going for you. Cuddles.

Posted in:Brittany Gastineau|Tit

2009

15

Apr

2009 USPDF Pole Dance Competition Highlights of the Day

Here’s a funny concept, legitimize stripper dancing by creating a nation federation of pole dancers in hope of turning shit into some kind of Olympic Sport, where half naked girls show off their stripper moves, instead of seeing bitches like Shaun Johnson flex her back muscles. I guess it’s not as funny as it is amazing. Sure no strippers I’ve ever seen in my life, and I’ve been to may stripclubs, have pulled off anything like this, but I guess it’s nice to know shit exists, now all they have to do to make this shit a little better is actually strip. Don’t forget your roots sluts.

Posted in:Pole Dancing|USPDF

2009

15

Apr

From the stepFORUM of the Day

I downloaded some bootleg shit from the stepFORUM for the first time because the artist wouldn’t answer me on Twitter. It was a liberating, passive aggressive FUCK YOU and I suggest you go in there and do the same, not that I promote piracy, I mean if I knew there was any copyright infringement going on, I’d definitely take a stance on that, unless of course they ignored me on Twitter.

I don’t know what I am talking about, I just know the stepFORUM is more relevant than anything I do here.

Register to See Everything and Get Involved!
GO

———Celebs———

HOT – Michelle Marsh | Various Topless Candids (NSFW)
GO

HOT – Diora Baird *Bra and Panties* – Nuts, 4-17-09 (SFW)
GO

HOT – Louise Redknapp – Triumph Lingerie Photoshoot (SFW)
GO

HOT – Francoise Boufhal | Underwear/Big Boobs! (SFW)
GO

Emmanuelle Chriqui and her Awesome Rack
GO

Rachel Bilson Shopping @ Erewhon Natural Food Store
GO

Keira Knightley – In skin tight leather pants
GO

HOT – Peta Todd | Topless/Black Stockings Photo Shoot (NSFW)
GO

Katy Perry @ New York City Shopping Candids
GO

Deborah Gibson Backstage Getting Ready for a Concert
GO

Katharine McPhee – At LAX in Tight Jeans and Fuck Me Boots
GO

Jessica Alba’s tramp stamp
GO

Sandra Bullock – Los Angeles Candids – April 2009
GO

Evan Rachel Wood Hotness in GQ Magazine – May 2009
GO

Selena Gomez – unknown photoshoot
GO

Busy Phillips
GO

Christine Lakin – Sweet Cleave
GO

Kellie Pickler Performs On American Idol
GO

HOT – Nikki Sanderson – Archibald Photoshoot (SFW)
GO

Emilia Fox l Nicky Johnston PS
GO

HOT – Karolina Kurkova *nude*
GO

———Movies and TV Shows———

Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle
GO

Hotel for Dogs
GO

Southland
GO

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
GO

Anne Hathaway – Nude Scene
GO

———Random——–

Random Link of the Day by Lt.Dangle (SFW)
GO

Real Chicks (Some NSFW)
GO

R.I.P. – Porn Queen (SFW)
GO

———E-books———

Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot
GO

How to Do Everything with Your iPhone
GO

———Concert Videos———

Journey – Live in Houston 1981
GO

Heart – Dreamboat Annie Live DVDRip
GO

———Music———

Asher Roth – Asleep In The Bread Aisle
GO

EMINEM – We Made You – CDS-2009-CMS
GO

Peaches – I Feel Cream (2009)
GO

Faith Hill – The Hits
GO

Closure
GO

Black Moth Super Rainbow – Eating Us
GO

Die Pretty – Bittersweet
GO

Decyfer Down Thread – End Of Grey
GO

Ann Courtney & The Late Bloomers – Crocodile
GO

The Best of Survivor
GO

Conor Oberst And The Mystic Valley Band – Outer South
GO

Beastie Boys – Check Your Head (Remastered-2009)
GO

Ultravox – The Very Best Of
GO

Adventureland – Soundtrack
GO

Chikita Violenta
GO

British Sea Power – Man Of Aran
GO

65daysofstatic – The Fall Of Math
GO

———Audio books———

Slam – Nick Hornby
GO

Richard Russo – Straight Man
GO

———Sleaziness———

Yummy Amateurs
GO

Beautiful Ass
GO

Don’t Mess With (Alexis Texas)
GO

FTV – Trista
GO

Katharina [Busty Beauty & Her Large Natural Melons In JEANS]
GO

Summer – Tease it Out!!!
GO

Barbara – 18 years old
GO

Nicoles Gangbang Cambridge 2
GO

Smile! While I Put it in your Butt!
GO

Coming On Strong (Mya Luanna)
GO

Eve Angel – Absolutely Gorgeous
GO

Brand New Faces 17
GO

Sweet Rack
GO

Posted in:stepFORUM

2009

15

Apr

Tila Tequila Singin’ Some Guns and Roses in a Club of the Day

I was at the stripclub getting my nipples bit by some flat chested girl with a stinky asshole who managed to give me a few awkward boners like I was 15 again, while Tila Tequila was posting this video of her singing Guns and Roses at some nightclub in Dallas, claiming she was wasted, but just saying that to justify how bad she is, not that I care. I was surprised she knew the words, but then again, after spending the night in the stripclub I realize having fake tits means knowing bad rock. Yeah, I said Guns and Roses is bad rock. Fuck you.

Posted in:Guns and Roses|Tila Tequila

2009

14

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I went grocery shopping for the first time in months because I didn’t have a fridge. I was trying to seduce some dude’s wife who was in workout gear when I managed to make an asshole of myself by dropping a container of pre-made chili all over the fucking place. Everyone around me looked and saw the mess I made, but I figured I’d try to sneak off to another section of the grocery store, so that they wouldn’t bust me and make me pay. A minute later, I got hit up by the manager and he interrogated me about the fuckin’ chili. When I denied any involvement, dude pointed down to my pants and I was covered in the fuckin’ shit. Had I known, I probably would have snuck out of the place instead of into another aisle. I tried to reverse it, you know lie about it and say I slipped on their mess and wanted to sue for new pants, but instead, I had to spend the 6 dollars I went their with on something I couldn’t even eat because I suck at life. The good news is I made his staff scoop it into a bag for me because I can’t let dinner go to waste and it’ll be fun watching my wife scarf the shit down and wonder why there’s a used band aid in the motherfucker.

Now I am deciding whether or not I should go to the strippers to drop 20 dollars on a set of tits that want nothing to do with me but have to pretend that they do for a solid 2 songs.

Here are my links.

These Girls Get Nude and Let You Watch
GO

Phil Spector is Guilty
GO

Check Out th Sluts From the Miss USA Pagent
GO

The Shawshank Rap
GO

Close Up Pics Of Vivica Fox’s Tits
GO

The Unicorn Prophecy Sounds Like Something Decidedly Homo, and Guess What, You’re Right
GO

Man Tori Spelling is Just Looking Fucked Up
GO

Carina in the Shower
GO

Fuck Me I Wish I Had Been Born Not Fat So I Could Skate Board
GO

Nothing Motivates a Boxer Like Knife Wounds
GO

Yahho Answers Continues to Amaze
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Have You Ever Wondered Why the Pizza at Dominoes Tastes Like Greasy Ass?
Well, Here Is Your Answer
GO

Megan Fox Just Ain’t The Marrying Type
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Jen Aniston Does It Doggy Style
GO

Naomi Watts Pokies Throwbacks
GO

Evan Rachel Wood is Fucking Marilyn Manson Again
GO

Here’s the Blonde Who Broke Up Mel Gibson’s Marriage
GO

Charlize Theron Always Makes My Day Better
GO

Audrey Bitoni is Pretty In Pink
GO

Jamie Foxx and His Friends Hate Miley Cyrus and It’s Amazing
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Sexy Work Out
GO

Louisa Does that Thing She Does
GO

Drunken Ninja Turtle
GO

That’s It!! I Want a DIVORCE!
GO

Zoe Saldana is Giving me Dirty Thoughts
GO

Louise Porter Topless Throback
GO

3 Sluts, Toys and Tongues
GO

Jennifer Love Hewitt in Maxim
GO

When Mary Carey Met a Homeless Man
GO

Louise Glover and Emily Dean
GO

Some Blake Lively Cosmo Outtakes
GO

Why Hello Adrianne Manning
GO

Bask in Beyonce
GO

Help!!! My Boobs Are Too Big
GO

Tribute to Marilyn Chambers Video of Her Explaining How She Sucks Dick….I am a Fan….
GO

We All Need Way to Pass the Days Somehow
GO

I need you’re fucking support on this motherfuckin one….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS