The male orgasm is possibly what life is made of. The reason I say that is because it’s really what motivates all men, everything they do is in attempts to cum. It affects all women because they are an integral part in the orgasm, whether through erotic pictures that they are in, or if you are lucky because of the work their mouth/cooter has just put you through. I will never understand girls who are scared of cum, or feel like getting cum on is degrading, because it really isn’t. The only analogy I can muster, as a drunk uneducated person is the way an artist signs his paintings, I am not saying that I am a talent by any means, but bitch I just came let me feel like I am for the 30 good seconds of my day. To girls who don’t let me bust on them, I make sure to find something of hers to leave my mark on. This often ends up being her shirt, jeans, socks or shoes. Not because I am a fetishist, but because I like girls to leave with a piece of me, especially since it’s their fault it happened. Now if this doesn’t make sense to you, think of it like this, “This load could have been our baby girl…the least you can do is wear the shit”.
Thanks to Mojo for this link to a site about cumming on clothes……HERE
Your bitch is fat, but that’s ok, she’s the best you can do. Let’s face it, hot girls make you nervous, you lose your train of thought, get an erection and your social awkward behavior just fucks the whole deal up, who am I kidding, you are never in a situation to talk to a hot girl….anyway you take what you get, and there is nothing wrong with that. I think it’s important for you to recognize this fat chick fuckin’ issue, so stop chronically masturbating and feeling ashamed when you introduce her to your family, and announce this shit to the world, all through the power of this T-Shirt….Don’t feel so bad, my wife is fat, but I only married her for citizenship and her two daughters…….
For all the homos out there, I would like to say, I got yo’ back, maybe not the way you’d like me to get it, but in a way that only a drunken stepfather could. There is a condition called Gay Bowel Syndrome which happens after inserting foreign objects in the bum. A penis is considered a foreign object, and a stretched asshole often times means dirty sheets/underwear from fecal seepage. Now I remember the first time I did a girl up the ass, it was a magical experience, that changed my life. The story goes like this: Brenda was a devote christian, she was from texas and she refused to have sex before marriage. That shit threw me off a little and I kept my distance because what the fuck do I want with a girl who doesn’t put out. I am not a sister, and don’t care to learn about your life. As time went on and Brenda kept running after me, I told her straight up that if she doesn’t let me fuck her, she’s dead to me. I like ultimatums. She told me that even though her reverend dad would not approve, like I cared, she would hook me up with a good time. So we met outside the Taco Bell, near the dumpster, I like to have a little bit of Mexico around me at all times, she took off her pants, spread her ass cheeks and invited me in for some backdoor fun. I don’t remember there being and seepage, but I do remember a distinct bean burrito stench……
The soiling of clothes from fecal seepage is a problem for many homosexuals … To avoid soiling of clothes, homosexuals with mild problems are advised to use a menstrual-type pad in the back of their underwear to absorb moisture and waste. (6) Homosexuals with big buttocks require a fluffed-up cotton ball placed against the anal opening, together with a pad to help absorb moisture throughout the day. (6) Medical advice for homosexuals with persistent soiling includes rectal wash-outs to remove residual feces from the anal canal after bowel movements. (6) This involves inserting an ear syringe into the rectum that is filled with warm water and coated with a water-soluble lubricant. Squeezing the syringe gently and repeatedly helps wash out any residual feces from the anal canal.
For more go here HERE
We’ve gone through this Kate Beckinsale business before, she’s a celebrity, and with celebrity comes a certain level of desirability, because we all know that the chances of meeting her are so rare that the opportunity to fuck her is pretty much non-existant, so we sit in front of computers like the perverts we are, and we hang bitch’s posters like the groupies we are, and we argue with our friends (if we have any), about how we think Kate Beckinsale’s got it going on, and they tell us she’s a washed up slag that anyone in their right mind would treat like the slag that she is, and we cry because we have just alienated ourself from our peers all because the movie Seredipity got us wet. Kate does yoga in the street, I figure that there is no real problem with announcing to the world that you care about your health, especially when you wear tight pants.
So I get this information from the controversial people at WizBangBlog.com about a girl named Cherry Dee who is already slotted to be a Page 3 girl when she turns 18.She is already getting her titties insured for $1 Million. That means that she is not 18 yet, and we have pictures of her rack. I don’t know if this is legal, but I am going to post it anyway. As a risktaker, I am always willing to throw away everything for the next hot story. She has been modeling topless since she was 16, I seriously wonder who her dad is, I would actually like to meet him and find out how he pulled this off and convinced his girl to show the world her tits. Who am I kidding, no girl with a dad would do something like this, I call a broken fuckin home. It’s okay her mom worked double shifts at the local grocery store to make ends meet, have a little fucking respec.Her tits aren’t all that hot, definitely not worth a million dollars, and I doubt I would even front the $10 to touch them at a local strip bar, however they are under 18 years old, which in itself makes you a sick fuck for looking at them!
Read the article HERE
Her official site (no nudity) is HERE
So she’s a pop queen and she went from the bubblegum, good role model for our youth, to the polar opposite once she came of age, or rippened, as we like to day at the Stepfather school of perverts. That happens often in younger girls, I call it the identity crisis, they denounce everything they ever represented and did in attempts to find themself. This works out to our advantage every once in a while, because that means the virginal bitch turns into a full fledged whore ready and willing to fuck everyone that comes their way, at the same time. The nice thing about this identity crisis is that the waters do eventually calm, and balance is found, the person accepts both their embedded morals/values of their youth and the experiences when they denounced those same morals to work the streets and suck all the cock they could. X-Tina is one of those girls, from one extreme to another, Genie in a bottle to breast implants and piercings, gang bangs and videos where you can practically smell her dirty cooch, now she is a nice well rounded girl getting married and starting a family, but still has her nipple ring.
It’s funny how life works out.
This has been brought to us by DoubleViking (visit them they love you)
it has been only a few hours, but they have been the longest hours of my life. you wont answer my text messages. jesus, why wont you answer my text messages? just because i aborted our 3 children does not mean that i deserve this. i miss getting drunk off tequila bang bang and passing out in the kiddie pool in our trailer park and waking up with your hand in my crotch. i miss getting drunk off stolichnaya and letting you paint my toenails with your favorite pink color and then having a sword fight with our fripperie pans. i miss getting stoned off gasolene and windex and running after the police dogs. can i PLEASE come see you today when you are finished work, so we can get drunk, chain smoke, pick up 17 year old girls with peg legs and yell pirate obscenities at passersby, specifically priests, nuns and god.
please? i miss us. and i promise the next time we get pregnant, i will have the child, and we will call it john malcovitch.
love always, minx.
Dude, today is really out of control with the whole seeing celebrity nipples, it’s getting pretty fucking repetitive for me. She’s the girl from “8 Simple Rules to Dating My Teenage Daughter”, she’s out and about, no bra, cuz it’s out of style, and the camera flash just fucking shows us everything. Rumor is she had nothing to do with killing John Ritter, all the coke from the 70′s fucked him up, he was pretty much a walking timebomb….moment of silence to our fallen coke soldier please
More Pics After Jump
Celebrities don’t know how to keep their fucking shirts on it’s crazy. You would think with all their money and fame they would have a certain awareness that they are wearing a potentially dangerous outfit, one that could mean the nation sees your motherfucking nipple and knows exactly what proportion it is to your little breast. This could be very damaging if you don’t have amazing tits, and very rewarding if you have the perfect placement and proportion, the point of this post is to say, girls why the fuck aren’t you all showing nipples in everyday life. Bras are a thing of the past, only middle-aged women rock that shit, sheer shirts and thin fabrics are sexy and trust me, guys will be happy looking at your chest, your nipple contrast, size and placement, you may even find yourself some cock for a change.
Celebrities don’t read this – but keep up they need to keep up the nip slips, even though I don’t know why they don’t just wear a fucking turtleneck….I guess no one pays attention to the bitch in a turtleneck. Not being in the public eye could ruin someone it could mean losing that next big role. It’s cool though, my site depends on your nipples.
I don’t know if this is real, I can only assume it is – Katie Holmes is showing some nip and we are loving it. The only reason we like nip slips is because we are really bored in our lives and that’s just how we keep ourselves interested. I would love to go on a Dawson’s Creek rant, but I never watched that gay fucking show, however, I did see that movie where she got thrown into a river dead and naked. That’s no way to treat a women asshole….but the naked and river part’s alright.
There is this internet girl who I would consider marrying, not because she sent me this picture, or because she is hot, but because she is in a happy relationship and I love nothing more than homewrecking. The picture you see is of Vanessa Hulihan, the Vegas hooker Kevin Federline was caught hanging with. No, I don’t know much, but I do know that our favorite mooch, K-Fed probably smells really bad, and the sheer fact that this whore is hanging with him proves that girls dig guys with money, even when it isn’t their own. I remember when I believed women loved romance and kindness, like the time I offered to fuck a girl up the ass cuz we didn’t have a condom, or the time, I let some chick I just finished banging spend the afternoon with me. I even let her wash the sheets and shower in my house. I know it’s got shit on the time I took a girl for a romantic drive to the country and left her in a field to find her way back. That’s just how I am livin’.
This picture is supposed to be exclusive: BRITPOPPA
Last night i sniffed four keys of cocaine with a man i had just met who is ten years older than me. on the way there, i passed this guy who used to eat me out and i almost stayed to see how he was doing. a week before that i called up the man i lost my virginity to and apologized for being a bitch to him. a few days after that, i responded to a text message from this kid who used me for fantastic blowjobs for god knows how many months.
More of Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie After the Jump.
tonight i get a call from this guy who i thought for the longest time, and still think from time to time, i am in love with. the reason why i depend on these social rejects is because i need them to fuck me. if i could fuck myself, and get myself to orgasm so hard that i am smiling for hours afterwards, i am sure that i would not put up with half the bullshit that i do. so i subjected myself to an experiment. stick with a “good guy”, dont use him for sex, and see where it takes you. we went for dinner and clubbing for a while, and i refused to kiss him. i dont see him for a couple of months and all of a sudden i am leaning against this caramel satin wall and he is in between my legs lapping like a fucking puppy. then i want penetration so i’m moaning and he’s fucking pounding and im scratching him and biting the shit out of his neck and chest. the point of the story is this: don’t fucking think you can use us women. don’t think this because we are usually a few steps ahead, and if you are thinking of using us, chances are we’ve been using you for a while. no car or money you say? that does not mean your tongue, fingers and cock have no technique. if your tongue fingers and cock have no technique, chances are we are getting bomb sex from your father, or mother depending on our interests at this point. HOWEVER, there are men that i have not used, that i’ve enjoyed merely hanging out with and talking about the multiple joys of say..independant films and sunrises. BUT at the end of those relationships, we still fucking hate each other and there even was a time when i threw alcohol on one of my ex’s and lit a match. this ex, by the way bought me cartier for my birthday and took me out every weekend and payed for my cab rides whenever i needed one and for food, at all times. so in conclusion; one-most of us arent as braindead as you think two-if we all stop using each other the world would be a better place and poverty would not exist three-if “using” must occur, have fun and try not to burn anyone four-tell your father thanks for the birthday gift, it goes great with the agent provocateur set he bought me on your mothers birthday.
This was sent in to us by MasturbateForPeace over the weekend. It was also spotted on the ever-consistent Fleshbot. It’s a site dedicated to renting out sex toys. I know that most of you are probably as poor as I am, and dropping $100 on a vibrator to use on your fat wife just doesn’t make financial sense, so this company came out with an amazing alternative for you to rent sex toys. It may not sound too hygienic, but for some reason this shit turns me on that an unused toy. I guess I like my sex toys the same way I like my woman, used, dirty and experienced.
Here are some Questions and Answers off their site
How do you keep the toys clean and safe?
We’ve developed a patent-pending process for thoroughly cleaning each toy before it is sent out to a customer. Our extensive research and testing indicate that this will allow us to provide safe, hygienic sex toys without the fear of transmission of disease. Customers who are still concerned about safety can simply use a condom or other latex barrier with each toy.
What is the selection like?
We offer a full range of sex toys, from anal beads to rabbit vibrators to nipple clamps and cock rings. Not to mention dildos in every shape, size, color, and material. Each toy is tested for quality and performance before it is added to our collection.
What about lube?
With each toy shipment we include a package of our own specially-formulated silicone-based lube. We encourage you to use this lube with the toys. Not only is it extremely high quality and pleasurable, it is safe for use with latex condoms and barriers and cleans easily.
How long can I keep each toy?
You can keep each toy for as long as you want. There are no late fees, only a monthly subscription fee: $19 for one toy out at a time, $29.99 for two toys, and $49.99 for the Golden Dildo plan with three toys out and priority to receive new, unused toys as rentals.
Visit them at Rent-a-Dildo
People like to send me emails and I encourage it. That what making you famous is all about. The world takes all kinds, and some how some dude wanted use to post pics of his wife, I am more than happy to do this for people…so here are those pics and the email we got. If you want to send in shit…get on it…the links on the sidebar bitches.
Congratulations for your funny site.
Maybe you are interested by some participations?
Here are 2 pictures of my wife…
If you want I can send you other pictures and tell you some of her aventures, or “how to make the life easier when you are pretty and…easy!’”
We live in Brussels,
Have a good week-end full of adventures…