Modern Day Journalism
 
 

2011

15

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

Getting drunk alone on the computer is always fun, especially when you get to wake up to all the new friends, conversations, and paper trail you left behind trying to entertain yourself while your wife, your first choice in miserable entertainment while drunk in the cell you call home, cuz there’s cuz she’s circus-like and the space isn’t big enough for other choices, wasn’t there to make you feel like the lazy loser you clearly are….if you know what I mean…which you do. Cuz we’re in this together…

Here are the morning links…

Slut in a Short Pink Skirt
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The Sexiest NHL Playoff Hotties That Aren’t Actually Players, They Just Bang Them
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Free Cam Shows to Finish This Week Off Right
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TThe Entire Country of Isreal Hates Justin Bieber
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Twitter Slut Does the Splits
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Hot Body Blonde in a One Piece
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Busty German Rubs One Out
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Sluts Have Some Fun Experimenting With One Another
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Blondes Versus Brunettes – The Ultimate Battle
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The TSA is NOw Searching and Drug Tesing 5 Year Girls. WTF
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Posted in:MHD

2011

15

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

Drunk. It happens. I’m not ashamed. I just don’t know why I keep showing people in McDonalds my penis. It’s weird. Nawmean. Foreeal. Fantastuck.

STEPLINKS

Fan With Great Cleavage
GO

Charlie Sheen is a LYING JUNKIE – OH MY
GO

Some Fan Ripped On Shakira’s Fancy Diamong Ring – VIDEO
GO

Private Screening of Josh Radner’s New Movie Exclusive Pics
GO

Heidi Klum Shows Very Little Tit Cuz She’s Old
GO GO

Fergie TOTALLY Got a Face Lift
GO

Jennifer Lawrence Does GQ
GO

Get Laid on Vacation. This is the Way
GO

Free Cams. Nuff Said
GO

Curvey Amateur Shows Off
GO

NBA Playoffs 2011: Hotties Playoff Edition
GO

Mickey Rourke Hates the Movie He did With Megan Fox Because It Is a Giant Piece of Shit
GO

These Toys Will Make Your Playtime Way More Sexy
GO

Tamara Ecclestone Bikini Bodyd
GO

Jessica Simpson and Michelle Obama WTF?!
GO

Kate Bosworth is in Short Shorts
GO

Katsia Damankova is One Hot Blonde
GO

Japanese Sex Weirdness of the Day – VIDEO
GO

Out Pranking a Prankster – VIDEO
GO

RIP Shitty Soap Operas, If I Never Miss You It Will Be too Soon – VIDEO
GO

LET’S SEE SOME TIT – Gallery
GO

12 Latin Chicks That Are Muy Caliente
GO

Freak Out: Celebrities That Went Crazy Before Our Eyes
GO

Aline Has Hot Tits
GO

The Home Improvement XXX Porn Parody
GO

Some Dita Von Tease, Just Cause It’s Been Awhile
GO

First Time Lesbians on VIDEO
GO

Sexy Little Bride
GO

Model Walks the Streets
GO

Hayden Panty Airs is Everywhere Lately
GO

3 Nasty Pussys
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Beyonce on the Set Of Her New Video
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Gotta Love a Sexy Black and White Photo Set
GO

The Hottest Baseball Wives and Girlfirneds to Ever Pose in Playboy
GO

FBI Release Tupac Murder Files
GO

Courteney Cox Shamed With Nipple Slip Picture
GO a>

A New Kim Kardashian Upskirt
GO

Dov Charney Is A Creep Douche And I’m Jealous
GO

Jessica Simpson’s Tits Park For Free
GO

Jennifer Lopez: The Most Beautiful Woman In The World? Are You High?!
GO

Val Kilmer, A Sad A Lonely Loser
GO

Follow Me On FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2011

15

Apr

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Chick Support System of the Day

I just saw these pictures that prove what I already knew…and that is that Kim Kardashian is a fat pig of a person who straps herself up and down and sideways to get the shape you idiots think is womanly and amazing…that I just think is fat and lazy…Ass doesn’t pop like that…it takes fucking harnesses to make that shit happen, and seeing this SPANX shit is not surprising to me, I always knew her only skinny part was her ankles, but I hope it is surprising to you, because maybe then you’d move on from this shit…


To See the Picture
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2011

14

Apr

Raica Oliveira Poses For Heine Heine Spring Summer 2011 Collection

Her name is Raica Oliveira, I’ve never heard of her, but apparently she’s a Brazilian swimsuit model, who has done SI and some other swimsuit model shit….which means she could also be a tranny, cuz everyone knows Brazil is the second largest exporters of trannies behind Thailand….not that I think she is one, but what the fuck do I know, today’s the first time I’ve heard of her, and I haven’t really had the opportunity to give her a gynecological exam, I’ve really only seen her in these pictures for a bathing suit line that I can only assume is for the 40+ crowd, cuz shit’s all high waisted and tank top oriented to cover up the fact that a bitch is in the 40+ crowd…babies, stretch marks, one too many pieces of birthday cake, you get what I’m saying here….and if you don’t it’s that this bitch needs some more erotic bikinis to model…I feel like I’m at the public pool mid summer with a bunch of mom’s looking at her…and that’s only porn to me when nothing else is going on….

Posted in:Raica Oliveira

2011

14

Apr

Aubrey O’Day’s Amazing Face of the Day

I do this thing that showcases an amazing facial expression of celebrity pussy every once in a while. I call the feature Amazing Face and it”s borderline genius…and by borderline, I mean as far away from the border as you can fucking get from genius….I just figure sometimes it’s funny to laugh at these insecure bitches, all done up cuz they know and want to be shot by the paparazzi, especailly when they slip from their focused and practiced pose and getting captured looking like this pig Aubrey O’Day, making a face like the farmer’s about to insert his 15 inch black cock inside her cuz she’s the fattest pig in the barn…and that brings moderate joy to my life…..don’t ask me why, cuz I won’t tell you.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day

2011

14

Apr

Hayden Panettiere Promotes Scream of the Day

Here are pictures of Hayden Panetierre describing her boyfriend’s 7 foot tall dick that she inserts in her midget pussy….in some kind of circus act neither of them could avoid…you know growing up the freakshows that they are…..it’s one of those destiny things….where two souls who once traveled the carnival together in the 20s have finally found each other in this life and are reliving the shit…only more luxuriously, cuz instead of people paying a penny to their handler to see them, point and laugh…they’re the ones getting paid and for some reason the fans aren’t pointing and laughing at them anymore, they are just masturbating and fantasizing about them…The world’s changed so much.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere

2011

14

Apr

Amber Heard’s Lesbian of the Day

Lesbians suck on all levels…I mean other than cock…but on all levels other than cock…from their construction boots, to their ill fitting flannel….to their porn…to their vegan muffins….to the way they look and live and the things they do…from their knitting club called “Bitchin Stitchin”…to their craft corner sundays….to their potluck dinners…they are just all around fucking boring…and I’m not just saying that cuz lesbians hate me and I’m bitter that they don’t invite me to their lesbian events…I’m saying it cuz it’s fucking true…

Here’s Amber Heard and her lesbian she’s using to get publicity like she was Lohan….in their lesbian car…with their lesbian hair…on their way home for lesbian sex…that isn’t a fetish….cuz lesbian sex has is anti climatic…

Fucking lesbians….

Posted in:Amber Heard

2011

14

Apr

Beyonce on Set of her Music Video of the Day

Beyonce was fat on set in tight clothes. You know trying to compete with Rihanna for her husband’s affection….You know taking on her sex appeal and showing off her body…knowing that that’s what the public wants…not knowing or realizing in her cunt celebrity bubble that she’s had one or two too many buckets of Popeye chicken…and that she should really invest her time and energy in other things….like anything…to avoid being seen in public, you know like eating contests with the fat Williams “sister” cuz I don’t really like looking at it…and let’s face it…it’s all about me…

Either way, here’s an old, fat, tired self proclaimed DIVA, trying to keep up with the market, by doin’ the Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna hustle, 40 pounds too late…

All this to say, I wonder if she’s a natural blonde…but more importantly, does her pussy match the drapes?

Posted in:Beyonce

2011

14

Apr

Kate Bowsworth Skinny Legs of the Day

I prefer Kate Bowsworth topless on the beach , even if those topless pictures were staged and no nipple was captured on film, see I get that her skinny ass has small ass tits, but you’d still expect to see nipple, unless of course she’s had a mastectomy and opted out of getting nipples tattooed on, otherwise, there’s no fucking excuse…

Not that it matters, I mean the reality is that Kate Bowsworth doesn’t need nipples, sure she’s looking fucking old, but she’s maintained her skinny, and there’s something really magical about a skinny girl, with skinny legs and a skinny body and that magical something is that she’s not fucking fat, like every other bitch in the world these days….making her one of the dying breeds…soon to be extint…I saw Wal-E, I know how shit ends up….

Either way, nice legs, I’d love to wear them as a scarf.

Posted in:Kate Bowsworth

2011

14

Apr

Kirstie Alley’s DWTS Diet’s Really Working of the Day

Dancing with the Stars really worked out for Kirstie Alley’s fitness level. Bitch looks fatter than ever…I guess days of dancing gets offset when fueled by dozens of donuts…you know the whole “I worked out all day, I can afford to eat 2 large pizzas and some chocolate cake”…unless this is her skinny….

Not that you care about Kirstie Alley or her sloppy fat chick body…unless you do…and I’m just jumping to obvious conclusions, you know cuz she’s fucking disgusting looking…in which case I’d apologize…if she wasn’t disgusting looking…and the real issue in all this is not so much that you’re into Kirstie Alley, cuz I don’t care about you and your weirdness, it’s that I’d totally watch her sex tape if she had one…and there’s nothing good about that!

Here’s some other trash with chubby thighs to divert from the pictures I just posted…I assume she’s on the show…I just didn’t bother paying attention to her name….instead I focused on what’s important…shorts and boots…

Posted in:Kirstie Alley

2011

14

Apr

Jennifer Lawrence in a Bikini for GQ of the Day

I’ve never heard of this Jennifer Lawrence before, I just assumed she was related to Martin Lawrence and Joey Lawrence, riding her last name to the top, but it turns out she’s already got an Oscar nomination under her belt, and I’m just too ignorant and not into movies called Winter’s Bone, even though you think that’d be the first movie I bought tickets to, if I bought tickets, based on the name alone…and now she’s in something called The Beaver, another movie you’d think I’d see based on the name alone, leading me to think she’s onto some clever scam to get perverts into her based on the movie she’s been choosing… and luckily for you, you can see the outline of her beaver in a bikini for GQ….obvious tie in, but what the fuck do you want from me, all this celebrity shit is like a horrible re-run that never ends, different name, different pussy, same hustle….luckily it is half naked. It keeps me watching…

To See The Rest of the Pictures
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence

2011

14

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

Someone I know has a TV show that she won’t let me on, but she does send me harrassing messages regardless, asking me to help get the word out for her casting, and being the nice guy that I am, despite not being allowed on the show, I’m gonna post it. I know, it’s got nothing to do with my hangover dump, but that’s probably because I don’t get hangovers from vodka, however the pizza I ate at 5 am raped me, but this was never meant to be about shit, it just evolved into that….

Here’s the casting call… Enter. It will be amazing…and hysterical…think of what they boys back at the trailer park will think!

A new reality tv series based on the ins and outs of the fashion and luxury industry is looking for six interns with huge personalities to live & work in the Hamptons for the summer. We are looking for wild, loud, outspoken, and colorful individuals who are willing to work hard and take part in a fabulous lifestyle. If you think this chance of a life time is for you, please submit a 1-3min casting tape that answers the following questions: 1. Who are you – a rebel, a good girl, a heart breaker, the class clown, a bad boy or just tell us in your own words how you see yourself. 2. What is important to you? What does luxury mean to you? What does fashion mean to you? 3. What would make you a great fashion/luxury intern? Please e-mail your casting video to: fashioncasting9465 (AT) gmail.com.

I know GMAIL addresses always feel so legit, but I know first hand it is….

Now here are the morning links….

Who Wants Booty Cookies?
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25 Sports Hotties That Came out of Nowhere
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Free Cam Shows to Waste Your Day Away
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Lady Gaga is a Fucking Idiot of the Day
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Two Hot GFs Experiment on One Another
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Jessica Burciaga Brings the Morning Hotness
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She’s One Hot Police Chick
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Drunk Chicks Get Dirty Together
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Shy Girl Gets Freaky, Cause The Quiest Ones Like Getting Nastyv
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Louis CK X Ricky Gervais = AMAZING – VIDEO
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Amazing Things
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Posted in:MHD

2011

13

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I think I got confused for another Jesus Martinez today…from a teen girl or a sex offender trap:

Her:

when is our meeting

Me:

what meeting

Her:

YC

Me:

what is that

Her:

youth council…..

Me:
what is that

Her:
are you being seroius

Me:
yes

Her:
jesus?

Me:

are you flirting with me again

Me:

are you on drugs again

Me:

you and your drugs

Me:

are you still a virgin, or did you finally let your dad fuck you instead of just put it in your mouth.

Me:

Hello?

Me:

Where’d you go?

Me:

What are you wearing?

Me:

I’m masturbating right now.

Me:

Is it illegal if I mail you my soiled panties.

Me:

Oh and Youth Council meeting is on tuesday….

BLOCKED

That was the end of that. Sadness. Here are my stepLINKS….

Catherine Zeta Jones Big Tits are Bi-Polar
GO

Karina Smirnoff’s Playboy Cover
GO

Some Half Naked Bitches Doing Half Naked Bitch Things
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Best Bikini Pics Ever
GO

Web Cam Sluts Who Do Their Job Right
GO

The 10 Hottest Girls From Virginia
GO

Paris Hilton’s Disappointing Cleavage Drop
GO

Because Sluts Are Easier When They Are Drunk on a Beach
GO

Free Cams. Nuff Said
GO

These Sluts Can’t Keep Their Hands Off One Another
GO

WTF Photo of the Day
GO

Jenn Sterger, Rachel Uchitel and Company: Gold Diggers or Victims?
GO

Toys for Grown Up Playtime
GO

Kaye Bosworth is Topless
GO

I Love Emma Stone
GO

Wow Taylor Momsen Only Looks Like a Half a Hooker Today
GO

Catherine Zeta Jones is Losing Her Mind
GO

Genevieve Morton is One Hot Blonde
GO

How Hot is This Brunette?
GO

Hair Pulling and Titty Flapping Fight
GO

Jamie Lynn Looks Great Bent Over
GO

Seriously WTF is Wrong With Lady Gaga?
GO

Brooke and Mandy Get It On
GO

Kendra Wilkinson New Sex Tape: Dancing With the Stars Plot?
GO

Yeah I’d Bang Jenna Dewan
GO

Danica Thrall goes surfing For FHM
GO

WTF is This Hipster Bitch Wearing
GO

A Bunch of Sluts at Some Good Housekeeping Party
GO

Big Boobs At the Beach
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Dolly Parton and Her cleavage = STILL FABULOUS
GO

Janet Jackson is Looking Hot Again
GO

Nikki is the slut Next Door
GO

Evan Rachel Wood Went Full Frontal
GO

Halle Berry In Her Hot Mama Leather Pants
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Follow Me On FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2011

13

Apr

Kendra Wilkinson Looks Inbred of the Day

It is amazes me that anyone other than maybe her father, who based on her inbred eyes, clearly believes in fucking family members cuz they are so convenient to creep up on when you come home drunk….

Seriously, there’s no way she’s not inbred or retarded, meanwhile she’s getting gigs in Playboy and treated like a sex symbol. What the fuck happened there?

I’ve even watched her Sex Tape with the handicapped dude a few times, and realize I was blinded by her meaty pussy at such a young age vagina, that I didn’t realize that she looked retarded too…It’s the nudity, and willingness to get naked, that always throws me off….not that I ever got off to this shit…but I never took the time to realize just how fucking ugly this cunt is…and by cunt I mean both her as a whole and what’s in her meaty fucking pants

All this to say, there’s no way she’s not a product and victim of incest…


To See The Rest of the Pics
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Kendra Wilkinson

2011

13

Apr

Lady Gaga Half Naked for Bazaar of the Day

Lady Gaga should never get naked. It’s as simple as that….

I hate this lie of a human…and it turns out that unlike most pussy, I hate her more when she’s half naked…usually girls have the opposite affect on me, you know hate them when they talk, show me their tits and I get sucked the fuck in and let them get away with pretty much anything, but not Gaga…leading me to believe the hermaphrodite lie is actually truth and her ugly face is just a product of being a homie dressed like a girl and not an actual girl…

Not that it matters, what matters is that I’m posting this to punish you, cuz you’ve been a bad internet friend to me….

I prefer her when she falls off her piano and even the most outrageous titty dress won’t save her… that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Lady Gaga