I know seeing a girl who hasn’t got a spray tan or a fake tan or shitty orange skin to match her cheesy 2-tone platinum hair and fake tits is refreshing but I seriously don’t understand why Dita Von Teese has a career.
I know Halloween is a favorite holiday and a great excuse for chicks to dress like whores and party harder than they usually do because they let down all their inhibitions and can pretend that they are whatever they want to be and I get that some people like it so much that they want Halloween to be everyday because sometimes being yourself is scary.
I also know that there’s a whole movement of death obsessed gothic freaks that dress like they are from the 18th century, powder their skin white, only use candles to light their homes, sacrifice animals in their basement while working up to some kind of school shooting after fucking their fat goth girlfriend that always ends in drinking each other’s blood while dressed like Edward Scissor Hands.
But reality is, it’s not hot, Goth is designed for ugly people with no friends to find each other on the internet and build their own goth community of ugly people with no friends. It’s scary and makes me feel uncomfortable and whenever I see a goth or a bitch that looks like Dita Von Teese I wait for them to bust out some kind of Mime routine because they are already in costume and I am all about throwin some quarters at street performers, because I like to give back to the community and I like the way they bounce off their heads and they run after them like that quarter is made of gold, but unfortunately goth’s take themselves so fucking seriously and miming, as gay as it is, makes people smile, and smiling is a sign of happiness and happiness is their devil.
Here’s Dita Von Teese showin’ us how original she is in black and white….