I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2011

12

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Doin the Monster Mash of the Day

I don’t know what Lindsay Lohan did, but I think it’s safe to say it’s a fucking disaster. She looks like she’s been living in the fucking streets strung out on dirty semen and puddle water, or maybe that she got in a fight with one of those Florida grandmother’s, all plastic and doin’ the monster mash…Or maybe she’s trying to channel her inner sex doll, inner stripper, inner circus clown, inner wax statue doing her Madame Tussauds or some shit, and I find the whole thing highly erotic….only because I’ve experience Lohan first hand, and having her dance around her hotel room in high heels and pajama pants, to her album that was never released, crying because of Samantha Ronson while I drank free Vodka and ate her french fries as her friends railed lines of coke and tried to hire escorts, was probably one of the highlights of the last 5 years of my alcholism, but only cuz I forget pretty much all the other shit I get myself into….

Not that it matters…here’s Lohan…for old good times…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2011

12

Apr

Katy Perry Shot By David LaChapelle of The Day

Here are some pictures of Katy Perry whoring herself. Sure it’s not the kind of whoring we’d want to see from her, you know on the side of the street, strung out on drugs, not only dying for another hit, but also dying of AIDS, Hep and malnourishment…hell she’s not even half naked in this campaign…

She’s just whoring herself to some hair Product company that sponsors her tour and pays her lots of money to get her to endorse the shit for all the little kids who follow her like she’s some kind of thick, dumpy, irritating God that can’t dance….but last time I checked, whoring is whroing so it’s good enough.

The pictures were shot by David LaChapelle, some high concept, used to be a big deal, photographer I’d expect more nudity from…or at least more use of her tits, since they are all she’s good for but I guess he’s playing it safe…. this is Christian America people…Relax yourself.

Here she is pretending she’s Cher

Posted in:Katy Perry

2011

12

Apr

Anais Pouliot Half Naked Photoshoot of the Day

I’m down with any girl named Anus, whether she gets stripping down naked for fashion to launch a modeling career or not, I think she’s good to go on based on her name alone….

Now you’ve probably never heard of Anais Pouliot before, and either had I, but she’s on the cover of Vogue Japan in May and that’s probably a pretty good indicator that she’s being taken seriously as a model, which annoys me, cuz it turns out that this bitch is actually from Montreal, which is where I get drunk daily, and now when I look at her pictures I see lost opportunity, cuz there is a point in ever girl starving to be famous’ life where she’s willing to do anything to get where she wants to go and a few lies can lead me on a direct path to their pussies…now she’s too big and snobby for that….

I screwed up. Here are her tits..

Posted in:Anais Pouliot

2011

12

Apr

Kim Kardashian’s Lazy Fat Ass in Pants of the Day

Kim Kardashian is probably the world’s richest PORNSTAR ….She took getting pissed on by a black dude, you know being a human urinal at the housing projects basketball court, and made it into a 100 million dollar a year business….

She’s spun her story so well, that people forget she’s a fucking PORNSTAR….but instead that she’s some fashionable inspiration to lazy fat girls everywhere, that they may not be able to become a big deal for no reason, cuz not everyone has a rich dead dad, a marketing team, the top PR people and all that shit….but the good news is that there will always be a black dude willing to fuck them….

That said, she’s trying to get press for some Armenian bullshit, even though the only tie in she has to being Armenian is that it is the reason she has a permanent tan….Shit colored, Cuz she’s shit, the fact she likes being pissed on, like all feces, kinda proves that point…

Don’t forget her SEX TAPE ROOTS ….cuz I like being reminded just how bullshit she is….cuz I know pussy and when it sucks dick like this…I know it’s all show…the lies hurt my eyes…

Here’s her lazy, materialistic, everything wrong with America obesity in her pants….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2011

12

Apr

Marisa Miller in her Underwear for Something of the Day

Half naked bitches playing with fully naked dolls is some high concept fashion photography bullshit that is exactly that…bullshit…It’s like these people come togethere and say “let’s do something obscure” and another one says “OMG, let’s put a doll in the picture” and the other says “A doll huh, that’s genius, what would a doll be doing in a fashion shoot”, and the other says “Exactly, it’s art”….Sold.

I don’t know, I find Marissa Miller old, like a retired stripper. Sure she’s got her fair share of body, but it’s one of those older lady bodies that comes from working out hard to never become that old lady. She’s got the fake tits. The hard face. The fake hair. I just don’t really get excited about this kind of thing, but I’ll post it anyway cuz half naked models are still half naked models even if their ripped bodies remind me of male models with implants…

I guess what I’m saying is I like my women either doughy or skin and bones, weak from starvation, etc. This kickboxing body just makes me nervous to have rape fantasies about her…not that I have those…but you know what I mean

Posted in:Marisa Miller

2011

12

Apr

Kaley Cuoco Shitty Nudes for Allure of the Day

I posted the Ashley Tisdale Allure nudes earlier….

Here is Kaley Cuoco, who I guess is in this issue also. I can see Allure took out the big guns, budget was no object, hire the real A-Listers, put Angelina Jolie and fucking Miley Cyrus on hold, we’ve got two bitches who need all the press they can get….hilarious….

This is photoshopped to shit. I don’t know if I’m looking at a picture of an actual girl, or if this is one of those vending machines you see at the train station that allows you to print up your face as if it was painted by a famous artist using, it’s like a fucking 2 dollar computer generated Picasso, where all human elements of the bitch have been airbrushed away….

Not that it matters, cuz I don’t even know who this Kaley bitch is. I don’t watch sitcoms, and I didn’t think I was watching when she helped John Ritter die on her last sitcom…

But here are her nudes that are so staged, she might as well be clothed…

Posted in:Kaley Cuoco

2011

12

Apr

Hayden Panettiere Hugs Emma Roberts Strongly of the Day

These pictures are from the Scream 4 premiere. Which brought out some Neve Campbell cuz it was the last gig she’s had that made her money and Courtney Cox cuz she like revisiting the place she found love and a baby daddy, but more importantly it brought out some Hayden tit…

But more importantly, I think Hayden’s midget wrestling strong man ass has been spending too much time with her Russian beast of a boxing boyfriend, because these pictures of her getting down with Emma Roberts aren’t the sensual amazingness you’d expect two young girls hugging to be, you know Emma Roberts is pretty much being violated and thrown the fuck around by the bitch, the good news is that there’s always room for fantasy…cuz to some people, bitch on bitch in any circumstance, especially dressed up in dresses like they are going to prom, pulling some WWF stunts, or even frat boy jock stunts while normal sized women watch the midgets in action is the fantasy….

Posted in:Emma Roberts|Hayden Panettiere

2011

12

Apr

Ashley Tisdale Ass for Allure of the Day

I do a thing here called the Ashley Tisdale Ugly watch, it stemmed from her winning some hottest girl of the year award, and my immediate need to educate the youth that media lied to them, that this award was paid for, and that she is in no way the hottest anything, except maybe fuck, cuz ugly girls put in a lot of effort, but usually not after they’ve won hottest girl awards, it distorts their insecurities….

I stopped doing the Ashley Tisdale Ugly Watch, because along with the rest of the world, I totally forgot about Ashley Tisdale’s existance, sure there would be pics of her Ugly face leaving the gym, I guess prepping to get naked in Allure cuz she knew someone there who convinced the editors to bring her on, and this is the result….her ass naked, photoshopped and in magazine….because if she took a lesson from the Hudgens nude strategy, which was a lot of headaches for the equal amount of publicity and far less hairy pussy lip exposed…not that it matters.

Here’s Tisdale, looking better than ever, cuz I don’t have to focus on that sour face with a botched nose job…and can focus on what is important, an ass crack, a cheesy tattoo, some feet and some titty from the back side….if you know what I mean…

Remember it’s best to ignore these pics, cuz that’ll make her try harder next time….this is the dipping her toe into the naked shit to see if it is for her…cuz thankfully Disney girls are all the fucking same…

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2011

12

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

There are a few things I’ve always hated that other people do. The first is when they talk about jerking off. It’s not a gay thing, it’s just a weird overly friendly, like I don’t need to feel like I was in the room with you while you were violating yourself like some horny desperate pervert for your dead relatives, and the second thing is when people talk about their shits…you know size, length, smells, pain involved, bloody toilet paper, the works….

For some reason, I’ve become those people I hate so much, with little else to talk about by my bodily functions, cuz nothing else is going on…so to answer you question, it smelled like chopped eggs.

Here is the other morning dump

Cute College Girl With a Nice Big Rack
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Amazon Women: The 50 Hottest Tall Chicks in Sports
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Free Cams to Waste Your Day Away
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Kate Bosworth is Topless
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Who the FUCK Would Pay $69 for a Hot Dog? – VIDEO
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Krystal Solis is One Hot Bunny
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Cute Girl Masterbates on the Train With a Carrot
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Ashley Tisdale Got Naked For Allure Because She is an Idiot
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Panty SHot….
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Posted in:MHD