Katy Perry is a sloppy, piece of shit of a girl who I hate. I am glad she took my Twitter advice to keep her shit under fucking wraps, I’m talking a Snuggie or something similar when she goes out in public because whenever I see her show just a little fuckin’ skin, that Kissed a Girl song jumps into the itunes in my head and I get all sexually confused, because girl on girl action is supposed to be the fucking fantasy, but Katy Perry on girl is just fucking awkward, fat, pale and ugly, making me wonder whether I am really a man or not and the answer to that question always comes back inconclusive.
Pam Anderson was at the opening of some NYC stripclub which was pretty obvious because that’s pretty much what her Hollywood career has been. You know big fake everything, fucking rockstars and guys with lame tattoos, getting STDs and now that she’s washed up and disgusting, it’s only natural that she go back to “den mother” all these girls just starting out, and I use the word natural very loosly.
I spend a lot of time in stripclubs, I know how these things work. I see the old haggard stripper who you wonder how she got where she got and why she’s still allowed to work and you realize that she’s been there for decades and can’t get fired and that she acts as a mentor to the other girls because she’s seen it all , and her daughter so happens to work alongside her to pay for her college and that together, they get naked for money and that they only talk to me when they are really really desperate for money and have been rejected by everyone else in the club, including the staff, so I know the whore game, and I know that despite Pam Anderson getting sidetracked along her true calling with that whole Hollywood, celebrity shit, it’s never too late to crawl back into the gutter position your fate had lined up for you, your tits, your fake hair, lips and fabricated, plastic sex appeal.
Paris Hilton is out with her new boyfriend and she’s showing off her tits. I don’t care, maybe you do…sure I like tits as much as the next guy – but Paris Hilton I can do without. She was born a rich kid, never had to work a day in her life, but instead decided that that wasn’t good enough and that she needed to go out and do things “on her own” and become famous “on her own” and now, 10 years later, we’re still fucking talking about her, still taking pictures of her, and the only talent she really has is being a whiny brat who gets what she wants. So fuck you Paris Hilton for making me post this by dressing like a slut with tits, even though you don’t have tits, making the whole thing that much more confusing than it already is.
Here is a video that dropped last week of a girl trying to eat a banana with her feet while in very little clothes and handcuffed.
The funny thing about this is that it was one of my pick up lines that I’ve tried on girls, you know “hey baby, come over and eat some banana with your feet half naked while handcuffed” but I slowly phased it out when they slapped me, called the bouncer to take me out when I thought they were just going to the bathroom of the club to wash their pussies up for me to eat them out and pretty much never agreed to do it.
I guess it’s just one of those genius things that it took someone to do on video to remind me that although my ideas are good, I need to work on my delivery….
David Copperfield and I had a lot in common. Firstly, we both got mistaken for pedophiles when we first started out or magic careers and would solicit boys and girls in the park to watch our magic tricks, hoping they’d go home to mom and dad and demand they book us for their birthday parties. Secondly, we both had a love for Claudia Schiffer, a supermodel at the time. The only difference was that Copperfield managed to take his magic to the motherfuckin’ top and I was stuck doing a bad coin trick some asshole taught me to get money on the streets, and he got engaged to Claudia Schiffer, while she still doesn’t know I exist. It is one of life’s great tragedies, but the good news is that I am used to tragedy. I decided to post these pictures of her to remind me of something I never had…..
I used to listen to Dizzee Rascal all the time. I heard about him from some young girl I was trying to bang but who never let me do much more than finger bang her one night when she was asleep next to me that I never told her about.
She was all about this UK Grime shit at the time, and being a grimey motherfucker, it was no surprise that I got hooked.
So for the last 5 or 6 years or 7 years, I’ve been listening to a few songs from Dizzee Rascal, so when I came across this new song and video, I had no choice to post it.
It’s fucking bananus.
So if you’re coming to the site for things that aren’t songs I like..and are things I find funny or sick, then here’s the video of the world’s smallest bodybuilder in action…I can’t jerk off to this shit but then again, I’m not you…
Or maybe you’re more into half naked tits posing…So here’s some Coco Never Before Seen Footage Exclusive Photoshoot Shit from the other day…
This post was brought to you by raping and pillaging worldstar.
I posted some bullshit Tila Tequila promoting her new album the only way she knows how and that’s by cheapening her whoreself by doing a camgirl show like the poor drug addict girl I met on craigslist lookin’ for real porn work, or the chick I met at Burger King drunk who added me to AIM and opened up to being a cam girl and who I eventually convinced to go on cam and vacuum naked when she wasn’t at work. Those were the glory days of the internet when you went on cam because you were an exhibitionist who liked people watching you naked or someone too lazy to get a real job trying to pay the rent, before you needed shitty half naked cam videos to drive traffic to your site or sell records….
I guess you couldn’t expect much more from Tila, half naked on the internet are her roots and I’m not complaining, I think all bitches should get naked to sell shit, I’m talking to you girl who works the cash at the grocery store…and to you girl at the coffee shop who always gives me sex eyes…..and to the girl who works at the pet store and pretty much every girl I come across in the day to make my life more interesting and sexy.
Lindsay Lohan is going to be in Montreal on Saturday. I just saw the facebook event. Let’s hope she walks around my shit hole of an apartment Sunday morning wearing the same thing. You know, making me and my wife breakfast. I figure the mold, the soiled mattress, my wife’s obesity, the fact we haven’t cleaned in years, the dog piss and shit smell, the rotting food, the no TV, the milkcrate furniture and everything ghetto and poor about my life, like my neighbor’s who ask me the weirdest shit like where to find Tranny’s for gangbangs, or overdosing in the hallways, or knocking on my door bitching me out asking for condoms to fuck some hooker who came empty handed will do her some good, keep her motivated and inspired to never become a real life drug addict/alcoholic and keep shit hollywood.
The truth is I have other plans on Saturday that don’t involve going to sketchy clubs, so our paths won’t be crossing, but just knowing she’s in the same city as me brings hope of a better tomorrow.
Yeah, I don’t know what I am saying, but check out these pics of her in a bikini, they are fuckin’ bangin’.
So some girl was petting my dog and her tit fell out of her dress. She screamed and laughed about it with her friends and I missed the whole fucking thing. I have spent the last 5 years writing about nipple slips and tit slips because I am just that guy, and when it happens to me in my everyday life I miss it, because I suck at life.
Here are my stepLINKS.
This May Just Keep You From Killing Yourself Today GO
Mel B was in a bikini. She has a pretty fit body. A washboard stomach all the boys are envious of. One that if you want to cum all over after fucking her mom pussy, may determine that you may be better off in San Francisco. I know that I fucked a girl with a abnormal muscle tone. I am talking biceps, triceps, abs and pecs and she definitely had a vagina, but everytime I’d be sucking on her tits, or she was grinding her pelvic bone into mine, bruising me up pretty good, I’d look at her 6-pack and would struggle to keep my boner alive. I’d be like “bitch, he’s dying, he needs mouth to mouth” before giving her a fuckin’ t-shirt so that I can finish off, because I’ve learned that you never waste a vagina that’s willing to let you inside, even if she makes you feel gay. True story.
Why would anyone give a fuck about this girl being in a bikini, I guess because she is a girl and is half naked, but that’s about it. It’s not because she’s famous or worth anything, she’sj just a famewhore who happened to win some stupid Paris Hilton produced show.
I guess she’s staging these shots, trying to take the celebrity stayin in the media approach, only she doesn’t realize no one really gives a fuck about her and that her 15 minutes are up. If she wants attention, she may want to stage a sex tape with an actual celebrity, like Verne Troyer or something, cuz that Jew bitch is more famous that this useless BFF piece of shit.
To make shit worse, she has a shitty fucking body and is better off posing on the beach in a snuggie like she was Katy Perry.
A friend of mine who lives in LA sent me this picture he took on his camera phone of Lisa Rinna’s ass in a coffee shop a good 3 months ago. Now, I guess he’s not really a good friend of mine, otherwise he would have followed her home and made sure he got some pics of his dick in her full lipped mouth, or deflated lipped pussy, but now that we’ve got Playboy, we don’t need anymore of that.
Yes, this could be of anyone, but that’s all part of the fun of creeper pics. If you have any creeper pics of anything funny of unsuspecting girls, even if they aren’t as “famous” as Rinna, which isn’t very famous, email them to me to masturbate to. Thanks in advance.
If you read this site you know that I have a thing for virgins, at least in theory. I like the fact that they are clean and have never had a dick in them, there’s something hot about that, but I’ve never actually been with a virgin, I have never wanted to be a girls first, and from everyone I talk to, it is a miserable fucking experience.
Whenever I drop virgin jokes, people give me dirty looks, like I want to go fuck their 12 year old daughter type looks, but that’s not true. Virgins come in all shapes and sizes and here’s the hottest virgins right now, she has one of the top Youtube videos, her name is Susan Boyle….with nipples like that I don’t believe that she’s never been kissed…I’d like to change that…with my dick…
Here’s a funny video of a naked woman doing a booty dance on camera with her kid in the room. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, but my mother was also a Mexican whore, so when I was this kids age, I saw a hell of a lot worse, you know streams of endless men fucking the shit out of her, but I didn’t mind, a lot of the times they’d give me toys, it only got weird when they asked for me to be in the room. That was a long time ago, she is dead now, she was a good woman, she was just trying to survive and provide for use. I am not sure what this woman is doing, but its not like she’s masturbating or like this is hot, so I guess just seein how her ass bounces. Enjoy.
Wow. That’s all I have to say about Audrina trying to act. Wow…and not a good Wow…like a look at that body so I don’t have to listen and her horrible rehearsed lines that are worse that the third grade at the Christmas Pageant at the elementary school I go to every year, not because I have kids in it, or know kids in it, but because sometimes you need to divert from the stripclub for a minute and experience other stage performances, and I don’t mean that in a pedophile way, I mean in a single, lonely, desperate mothers during the holiday season being easy to fuck kind of way.
How the fuck does someone like this get work, when so many talented, better looking people are out there are struggling to make it. It just proves that life isn’t fair and fake tits, a fit body, rich parents and connections really do a lot better for you than actual skill. Ridiculous. At least it’s pretyt fucking hysterical…