I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

25

Mar

Girls Painted Green for DJ AM of the Day

I am not sure if you know this, but DJ AM is a geek, just a geek who has managed to make a career out of the shit he geek’s on. That’s not too shocking, because pretty much every single DJ I’ve met over the years has been a geek, you have to be to know all the songs to play, to sit at turntables hour after hour learning how to scratch or mix or whatever the fuck they do, all fueled by them being tired of being the loser in the back of the club, and wanting to be the star of the fucking show, because girls flock to the star of the show, whether it’s a local guy at a rockbar or one of these superstar motherfuckers, because girls are competitive and want to be the woman next to the man who all the other women want or at least the man who’s the center of attention, because they want to be the center of attention, even if the guy’s a fucking geek. It’s some crazy shit that makes no sense to me.

What does make sense to me though, is that DJ AM, would use his club as a place to promote the New Star Trek movie, not only because he’s a Jew who likes gettin’ paid, but because he has spent many lonely nights before he became a millionaire success story, jerking off to green skinned bitches, because Star Trek was his favorite show and these bitches put out.

That said, you are probably a Star Trek kinda guy, so I figured you’d like seeing this girls who moved to LA to be the next Tara Reid, trying to work their way/sleep their way to a real job, but forced to take these low level jobs to pay there rent. I hear they’ll be at Costco next week handing out toilet paper samples. Watch out for it

TO SEE MORE OF THESE HIPSTER PARTY PICS YOU GOTTA VISIT TheCobraSnake

Posted in:Girls|Green|Star Trek

2009

25

Mar

Lydia Hearst Half Naked for Perfect Magazine of the Day

Lydia Hearst is a supermodel who has been getting a ton of exposure lately, and here she is in some hot photoshoot for some magazine called “Perfect” from another country that you probably won’t see here and like all good fashion magazines they tip toe on the fine line of porn and high fashion/art. A line that I wish I new how to balance on so that people take me serious. Unfortunately, everytime I pitch this fashion magazines my concept for a shoot, they ignore my email, mainly because the concept is always the same, Supermodel wearing nothing but my mouth for a bikini bottom, so I can taste what she was up to last night.

Either way, I love Lydia Hearst, mainly because she makes her own money, despite having been from a family where she probably never had a to work a day in her fucking life and that says a lot, because all the whores I meet when I sneak into those chachi bars, are mooches lookin’ for a guy to pay for their shit in exchange for getting to see them naked, with hopes that their futures involve sleeping, shopping and doing nothing all day, spending some asshole’s money, until someone better comes along. It’s like the people who should be ambitious just waste space and someone like Lydia, who could have been a useless socialite, gets naked in fucking magazines and pays her own fuckin’ rent.

I think she’s my Jennifer Hudson. That was a Dream Girl reference that was a little too obscure, I’ve been up since 8 in the fucking morning thanks to a dog who sleeps all fucking day, except at 7:30 in the fucking morning when I want to sleep, because letting me fucking sleep off my hangover is too hard for his back alley retarded pug brain to understand…and here are those pics.

Posted in:Half Naked|Lydia Hearst|Perfect

2009

25

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

I just went to the weirdest restaurant in some back alley, the windows were covered with shower curtains so that people inside could smoke cigarettes and weed and the chef and owner, who was obsessed with Cuba, drunker than me, and who could hardly formulate a sentence but was talking some shit about how we are all scared, life is supposed to be simple, Cuba is simple and the whores only cost 25 dollars, then he pulled out his photo albums, since he’s been going there 12 years, and I snapped off these pictures…badly….

Here are my links…

If I Can’t Afford the Tuesday Night Movie, You Probably Can’t Either
GO

Lohan’s Busted Bum….per
GO

It’s Possible to Love Teddy Bears To Much, You Should Knoe
GO

Close Ups Of Kourtney Kardashian’s Tits
GO

Vin Diesel Huffs Helium and It’s Pretty Awesome – VIDEO
GO

Nicole Richie Looks Bangable Most Def
GO

Abigail Clancy Opens Up and Says Ahhh
GO

More Fun With the Shamwow Meth Head – VIDEO
GO

Bob Ross is a Happy Little Painter, Just Don’t Piss Him Off
GO

Because the Internet is Only Good For One Thing
GO

Caitlin is the Kind of Red Head I Love
GO

My Son Has a Penis Problems
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Now That’s a Vending Machine I Am Down With
GO

Madonna is Too Much of a Whore to Adopt Another Black Baby
GO

Holly Madison is Posessed By the Devils
GO

Bond Babe Gemma Arterton Control Pants Upskirt
GO

Audrina Patridge is an Idiot, But Man She’s Got a Sweet Ass
GO
s
The Octocrazy Fired All Her Nannies
GO

Kimmy Strips Down
GO

How Else Are You Planning On DOing IT?
GO

Watch These Idiots Blow Up a House With a Cannon, Because They Are Morons
GO

Marry Me Jayme Langford
GO

Jesikah Maximus Has an Ass Like No Others
GO

I Do NOT Free Base Cocaine!
GO

Nothing Says Love Like Committing Yourself to a Life of Disease
GO

Christina Ricci Bikini Niceness
GO

Mariek Goes Nude in Public
GO

Avril Lavigne Got Pretty Shitfaceds
GO

Gisele Gets Her Versace On
GO

Armenia Loves the Great Outdoors
GO

Flashback: Elisha Cuthbert – Maxim Magazine Photoshoot
GO

Bryci Will Make You Feel Good About Life
GO

Fez is Most Probably Sticking His Peen in Rhianna
GO

That’s a Dildo NOT to Buy
GO

Some Hottie Needs a Hubby – Desperate.
GO

Here’s that crazy FedEx Plane Crash Video You’ve All Seen….

Find Me on Other Parts of the Internet….Because I Spend Too Much Time on Twitter….


I need 100,000 followers and will cry / Suicide if I don ‘t get there…

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

24

Mar

Holly Madison and Her Dancing With the Stars Dance of the Day

While at the strip club the titty shakes I see are usually a lot more coordinated than this shit, but I guess she’s out of practice now that she doesn’t have to work the pole every night of the week, and dance for dirty men to pay her rent, while going home and crying herself to sleep about objectifying herself and not getting anywhere, hoping to find that one meal ticket that turned out to be Playboy. I’m not judgin’, I’m just saying her fucking dance is bullshit and if I saw this go down on stage, I’d ask the bouncer for my cover charge back.

The highlight of the show, as always is that dude with autism who founded Apple doing the worm…

Posted in:Dancing|Holly Madison

2009

24

Mar

Ashton Kutcher Sings a Song of the Day

I asked Ashton Kutcher over twitter if he was a comedian or just a joke. He never answered me. I told him that he is shit like the smear on Bruce Willis’ dick after he fucks his tween man slit. I actually didn’t say that, but should of, because he’s fucking Demi, who fucked Bruce and who sticks close with the family, making me think on their spiritual escapades and a little too much wine, things can get a little wild….

These idiots are all into Kaballah and have spiritual leaders and shit, so I guess Ashton lacks guidance and is just an insecure little fucker, and that’s why he turned to a mom as a wife and religion to save his vapid soul.

I don’t hate Ashton Kutcher, I’m just saying…..

Posted in:Ashton Kutcher|Singing

2009

24

Mar

Some Ginger Spice Leg of the Day

Ginger Spice was out on a date, if you read other sites, you’ll see her tits were busting out and she looked like she was fertile, horny, or about to get her period and ready to take as much dick possible before being forced to take the week off, because it was actually reported that she was on 2 dates with 2 different men, one of them was Guy Ritchie, but that doesn’t matter. What matter is how she’s closing her legs and not showing us her vagina, you know pretending like we all forgot that her getting naked, is the reason she had a career in the first place. I figure stick to your fuckin’ roots whore and let me see how well you’ve aged the past decade.

Posted in:Ginger Spice|Leg

2009

24

Mar

Bridget Marquardt in some Staged Bathing Suit Pictures of the Day

Hefner’s ex girlfriend, like she was every his fucking girlfriend, or anything but a shitty publicity stunt that spunoff into a TV show and tons of media attraction, does some show that involves her being in a bikini, or variation of a bikini, traveling the world rating beaches and pulling stupid stunts on the beach to make the shit more interesting to watch, because this concept is played the fuck out and frustrating. It’s like while all of us assholes sit in our shitty homes, listening to our disgusting pig wives chew their fuckin’ potato chips, pretty much hearing her heart struggle for breathe as she suffocates it with grease, watching this shit, imgagining how great life would be if only we could pay off that credit card debt and grab a few tickets to travel the fucking world, she’s the one living in luxury, getting paid big money, filming this shit while dancing around in a bikini all day, and that is just unfair enough for me to hate it.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Bridget Marquardt

2009

24

Mar

Miley Cyrus Gets a Burger of the Day

So Miley Cyrus went to get a burger and the whole staff decided to make a big deal out of it, I guess their minimum wage life doing menial work all fucking day for them man, who doesn’t let them take sick days, and who gives them a hard time if they show up 3 minutes late, even thought they aren’t paid enough to show up on fucking time, only to get knee deep in fast food slop, hating your life and motivating yourself to get the fuck out of that line of work, maybe go back to school or do a technical program, maybe plumbing or electrician school, even cabinet making, anything but fucking working a burger shop, lacks excitement and celebrities make life a little less depressing, because now you have a story to tell your family and friends that doesn’t involve how shitty your fucking day was because Miley Cyrus came into your life and remembered you, even if that would make my shitty day even shittier, but that’s just cuz I am negative and a hater.

Posted in:Burger|Miley Cyrus

2009

24

Mar

Angel Lola Luv’s Hip Hop Model Photoshoot of the Day

I didn’t watch this video, not because I am racist, but because I am lazy, yes, too lazy to watch fucking videos of big booty hip hop models doing photoshoots for magazines/websites/god knows what the fuck this is, but since I am half asleep and uninterested, I figured it would give you something to watch while I gather my thoughts and decide if life is worth living.

I’ve never heard of this Angel Lola Luv chick, but her name is nice and stripper-like, but I am not really an expert on this hip hop model movement, so check it out if you’re down with brown.

Posted in:Angel Lola Luv|Booty|Tits

2009

24

Mar

Jordan Promoting Her Equestrian Line of Clothing of the Day

Jordan is pretty hysterical. It’s pretty hard to hate her for milkin’ those tits, more than her retard baby did. You know, she’s managed to do so much more shit with silicone than pretty much anyone out there, she’s launched product line after product line, has had sex tapes, makes massive amounts of money, and has the public watching her every move because I guess they find her important, but this tacky line of horse products has got to be one of the ultimate jokes she’s hustled.

I don’t know too much about horseback riding, but I know that not everyone who partakes in the sport is classy, or from old money and I guess there are sluts, prostitutes, trash and farmers that like to go nuts with horses, there are probably perverted parents who like to shock the other parents, by dressing their girls up like this for horseback riding activity day with the school, and even strippers who like to dress like slutty horseback riders for their stage shows or hot date on the merry-go-round cuz they are ironic, so somehow this makes sense, just not to me.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price

2009

24

Mar

Hayden Panettiere’s Shorts and Haircut of the Day

Everyone is freaking out about Hayden Panettiere’s haircut, you know cuz it’s short and closer to the brush cut she had when she didn’t pretend to be a girl and embraced her penis…I just wanted to say that I am not one of those people.

Posted in:Haircut|Hayden Panettiere|Shorts

2009

24

Mar

Bree Olson Has a Freakout on the Radio of the Day

So Bree Olson was in Tampa doing some shock jock radio show called the Bubba Love Sponge Show, and it didn’t work out too well for her. She did some interview that went well, then agreed to jerk some “blind” guy off, because she has not problem playing along with jokes, or giving hand jobs.

Shit got bad when she found out that the guy she was jerking off, or about to jerk off wasn’t blind. I guess she took it personally, thinking they were making fun of her, or treating her like a fucking idiot and she ended up leaving the show, attacking the camera man. I think it’s pretty amazing.

Now a lot you don’t know this, but I talk to Bree Olson from time to time, and she’s just a fun loving girl who has fun with what she does, has a smile on her face, jokes around a lot and despite her Indianna small town accent, is really just a sweetheart.

Just yesterday I got a text from Bree, you know, since we’re in love, saying something like “i can’t wait to hang out again” or some shit, so these fuckers obviously did something pretty evil to her, and I guess since she’s family, that means they’re my enemies and as my enemies, I will have no choice but to declare war with this shitty Tampa radio show because she was just trying to be a good sport, and burning girls, so that they aren’t good sports for the rest of us, is some evil selfish behavior assholes.

Watch the video, you’ll like it.


To Hear the Audio….
GO

Posted in:Bree Olson|Freakout

2009

24

Mar

Kim Kadashian Does Complex of the Day

Kim Kardashian’s the new cover girl of Complex, which is pretty convenient, because black guys fucking love her and Complex is all about rap and shit.

I always give her fat ass a lot of hate, but I figure I should lighten the fuck up, sure she’s a whore who used her pussy to get ahead, but there’s nothing wrong with that, that’s why girls have pussies to begin with.

I heard she had dinner with Vera Wang last night to discuss her wedding dress, so this fat ass is going to be hitched pretty soon, so if you have a guilty conscious when it comes to jerking off and can’t seem to get off to another man’s wife, then you better get busy, before it’s too late, not that that’s an issue anyone has, but whatever, I’m trying, give me a fucking break.

Here’s the video….


Here’s the rest of the pictures….
GO

Posted in:Complex|Kim Kardashian

2009

24

Mar

Cindy Crawford Lathered Up for Allure of the Day

I hung out with Cindy Crawford once, you know in the 90s when she was at the top of her game and I was one of the biggest fashion photographers in the industry, we had a little falling out when I told her to spread that pussy wider, when she was trying to be wholesome and all American and totally against spread eagle pussy shots and she got me kicked out of the industry because she’s just that powerful and my life has been on a downward spiral ever since.

Sure, that story was a total lie, but what difference does it make, it’s the fucking internet, I did see Cindy Crawford a few months ago when she was promoting some shitty furniture line at some discount furniture store, and she was pretty fucking amazing looking, the kind of girl who I should have run up to with my point and shoot camera and ask to spread that pussy wider, only to get escorted out by security, but I didn’t.

I did go to some weird strip club this weekened, where some slow, older stripper in costume got naked and soaped herself on stage, seems a little ambitious for a whore who makes her money when she charges people to grab her tits, but I guess I appreciated the effort.

Here are those allure pics, they hit the internet yesterday, I was napping….

Posted in:Allure|Cindy Crawford|Naked

2009

24

Mar

James Gandolfini Keeps it on the Downlow of the Day

Nothing says closet case like a married man getting a blowjob in a back alley like shit was 1972 and was the only way a gay guy could get some hot sopr-anal. But let’s face it, just because dude plays an alpha male hooker fucker on TV, doesn’t mean he is one, the key word to all this is “actor” and everyone knows that all actors are poofters, straight men are busy working real jobs, it takes the homo gene to make a dude want to prance around on stage trying to get everyone to love you…in fact the whole acting thing is just silly…

Yeah, idiots, you don’t have to email me, I know he’s not getting a blowjob, this is what you call joke gone wrong.

Posted in:Back Alley Blow Jobs|Homosex|James Gandolfini