I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

03

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

I wonder how many people have died masturbating and not the kind of masturbation that kills like with electronics in showers or with belts wrapped around your fucking neck. You know, dying from good old, jerkin’ off.

Back when my dick worked and I was a lot younger and a lot more insecure, I always had a little bit of fear in the back of my mind that I’d die in the midst of jerking off and some poor fucker, like my landlord or neighbor would find me dick in hand, porn on tv, dead. So every time I’d jerk off, I’d rush it to cum before my heart gave out….

Now I wish my dick stayed hard enough and that I wasn’t desensitized and have such a short attention span so that I’d have the chance to die jerking off, cuz I don’t think it’d be that bad a way to go, if anything it’d be a great final joke, especially considering it’s only goal I’ve ever seen to completion in my life…..until my poor health took that away from me…not that you care…I mean why would you care about an old tired guy’s masturbation anxieties from decades ago and inadequacies today…so here are my stepLINKS…in efforts to pretend we didn’t just have this conversation….

Record Breaking Coctail Genius….
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Tiger Woods Wife Just Hit the Jackpot
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The Hannah Montana Doll is Fucking Fun!!Especially If You Put it Up Your Ass.
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The 10 Hottest Massachusetts Women
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WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO BRITNEY MURPHY?!
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Find Sluts Here
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This Drunken Sumo Wrestler Game is Something I Can Relate Too
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Rachel Stevens Upskirt
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Seriously, Who the FUCK Updates Their Facebook During Their Wedding? – VIDEO
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I Wanna Fuck David Ducovney’s Wife
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The Iraqi Shoe Thrower Got….A Shoe Thrown at Him
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A Flowchart to Determine If You Can Get Away With Having a Mistress
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Amateur Slut Models All Sorts of Lingerie
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Some Taylor Swift Bikini Shots
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Stevie Wonder Broke Down and Cried During a Michael Jackson Tribute and Don’t Fucking Laugh Cause It’s Pretty Gut Wrenching
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Miley Cyrus Bikini Pics
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Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson Are Fucking Again
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Ashley Simpson is a Self Entitled Cunt
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How Awesome Would a Lindsay Lohan/Jessica Alba Cat Fight Be
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Television Just Got a Whole Lot More Shittier – VIDEO
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Topless Kick Boxing Iveta Vale
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I Admire Her Skill But Her Aim is Off – VIDEO
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Six Perky Tits in One Room
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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VIP Upskirts and a Lot of Flashing in a Hot Party
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Mini Dirt Bike Product Test…The Chinese way
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Jerry Jer AKA TAMPON MAN – VIDEO
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Steven Seagal Will Arrest, Possibly Eat You
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Joanna Krupa is Sexy and Topless
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She’s Showing Off Her Pussy and Tits!
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Well Hello There Valentina
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A Little Bit of Allessandra Ambrosio
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Two School Girls and Their Lollipops
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Some Literal Human Wrecking Balls
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When Sammie and Sandy Took a Shower…
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Angel Dark is on a White Sand Beach
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Afternoon Pick-Me-Up: Thy La
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Gabrielle Union is Lookin Hot
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Let It Slide Video
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Baby Sitting Fail – VIDEO
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Heather is Bent Over
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Alexis’ Ass is GLORIOUS
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I Gotta Admit, Britney is Doing and Lookin Half Alright
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Ahhhhh Leona Lewis
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Some Magazine Where PEnelope Cruz is Talking About Something But I Don’t Care Cause I Am Distracted By Her Hotness
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VALENTINA’S PUSSY IS RIPE AND READY FOR PENETRATION!
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

03

Dec

The Katy Perry Titty Watch Continues of the Day

Katy Perry’s tits are my new obsession. This is my second post on them today because she’s been showing them off in all the dresses she’s been wearing lately.

I really don’t know what happened but I fell in love with them last night and it’s not like I didn’t know they existed before, because I did, but something triggered in my brain that made me focused on seeing them naked. I have obsessive thought patterns and a lot of the times, I won’t sleep until I get what I want or what I am looking for, unfortunately for me my goals are never really of substance or advancement of my life, it’s really stupid shit like convincing my friend in LA to get a picture of Katy Perry’s tits from the neck down and from the belly button up, cuz I won’t be satisfied with anything less or anything more, since she’s pretty fucking disgusting, not that I am ever happy or satisfied, but you get what I am saying here and that is that Katy Perry showing off her tits is fucking amazing, good work by her boyfriend Russell Brand, and all of a sudden I’m willing to ignore how annoying everything else about this cunt is…..just show me her fucking nipples…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Katy Perry|Tits

2009

03

Dec

Miley Cyrus Pink Bikini Pictures of the Day

Miley Cyrus Bikini Pictures Pink

I can only assume that this bitch is 18. I figure if Disney can exploit her and give her a career there’s no way she’s not an adult by now and just posing as a kid, cuz I am sure there are strict labor laws and shit, making this all okay to post pictures of her in a bikini, even if you’re ass wants to get off on them, not that it matters really, cuz in Canada 16 is legal, so we’re technically allowed to pick the girls up in our vans outside of highschool and do all the dirty things we want to them as long as they agree to it and aren’t gagged and hog tied the entire process, we just aren’t allowed to video tape the shit or take pictures of the shit, unless it is with our memory to reference when needed, not that I need that with this Miley bitch. I think she looks half retarded, has pretty much no sex appeal and a shitty body. The only thing going for her is that she’s not 300 fucking pounds and that’s really not saying much, but I know you American folk and your low standards will love this shit and I have no choice but to post it…just don’t zoom in on the picture to see if you see lip or anything cuz that would take this from wholesome to bad intentions and that’s the kind of thing that gets us arrested…even though we didn’t take the pictures or release them to the internet….but historically we’re always the fall guy…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Miley Cyrus

2009

03

Dec

Sophie Monk Does the Pregnancy Cover-Up Pose of the Day

Here is Sophie Monk rubbing up on Santa Claus like he was one of the Good Charlotte sisters because I guess she misses the touch of another man, or maybe because ever has fond memories of a man dressed in a Santa suit sneaking in her bedroom late on Christmas Eve, only to take off her little panties and have his way with her, telling her not to tell anyone, because it was their little secret because she’s been such a good girl all year and she’s Santa’s favorite, not realizing that it was just her creepy dad molesting her on the one night he knew he could get away with it, since everyone knows Santa doesn’t exist and her story would lose all credibility before it started..or maybe it is because the dude in the Santa suit is the Executive General Manager of V Airlines and she figures she’ll be able to fly home for cheap anytime she needs when she has no money cuz she can’t get work cuz she’s in with him….and none of this is the point of the post…

The point of the post is that my photographer friend told me that when you see someone in this stance, with their hands on their hips and elbows pointed outwards, they are trying to hide the fact that they gained weight. It’s like people see their elbows and ignore their waistline. It is the oldest trick in the fucking book to make themselves look thinner, to hide the fact that they have a gut, thanks to a Good Charlotte internal cumshot that’s left a baby growing inside them that they refuse to abort because they think it means security, stability and it is the best revenge for him leaving her for Paris Hilton before crawling back to her one lonely night in Australia…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Cover-Up|Pregnancy|Santa Claus|Sophie Monk

2009

03

Dec

Kate Beckinsale and Zooey Deschanel for Absolut Vodka of the Day

Two of my favorite things in life is booze and useless pussy. Here are a few ads for Absolut Vodka that are pretty fucking boring to me, because I like usually like drinking my booze and not looking at pictures of my booze, and I definitely prefer real women to pictures of women posing, and I really prefer those real women to be fuckin soaked through proper in booze, because historically, drunk bitches are easier to fuck, especially if you slip some shit in their drink and drag them out by their hair….

Either way, I don’t drink Absolut and I’m pretty much willing to drink everything, even rubbing alcohol if it’s cut with enough juice so that I don’t go blind, and maybe they should fix their formula before paying big money for this fancy art fag campaigns….because when I think of alcohol and women together, I usually expect to be slipping my hand down her fucking pants as she’s passed out in the corner….

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Here’s Zooey Deschanel….I don’t remember what she does…But now she has the credit of being in a boring Absolut campaign to add to her already very impressive resume……I don’t know what I am talking about.

Posted in:Absolut Vodka|Advertising|Kate Beckinsale|Zooey Deschanel

2009

03

Dec

Katy Perry Big Tits for the Grammy Nominations of the Day

I was at my neighbor’s house borrowing a couple cigarettes cuz I was out and because it was a good excuse to stare at his immigrant wife’s fat tits cuz she doesn’t wear a bra, and they were watching this Grammy Award Nomination event that I couldn’t believe existed. I am actually surprised that people even watch the Grammies, considering it is some bullshit marketing campaign financed by the record labels, pretty much staged and not representative of anything good, but it turns out people care enough to watch the nominees, after I went on a little rant about how stupid the concept is, Katy Perry walked on stage in this dress, with these tits, and I was really happy she decided to distract me from her gut and busted up face, with something she actually has going for her, and that something are these incredible tits.

Fuck you Grammy Award Nomination show, you ruined my fucking hope in humanity…..even with your prostituting of Katy Perry…..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Big Tits|cleavage|Katy Perry

2009

03

Dec

Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato for the Perverts of the Day

Here’s your barely legal jailbait lesbian fantasy of the day….I guess Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato had so much to catch up on, like talking about how big corporate entertainment people are exploiting them and their youth by turning them into huge brand names, or maybe they were comparing the Jonas brother’s dicks and anal sex tips they learned because they have to make a man cum somehow and in keeping inline with their contracts and their promise rings cuz Disney learned their lesson with Lohan, she pretty much ruined it for everyone by turning her pussy into some covert spy that needed to taste every fucking dick that came within 10 feet of her, making virginity part of the fame deal and based on the pics, the whole thing was pretty fucking boring..

****UPDATE**** these are pictures of Selena Gomez not Demi Lovato and those of you who noticed that are fucking creepy as fuck….the post applies to her too so just thought I’d correct myself and out you fuckers who emailed me by forwarding your emails to the FBI. You’ve been caught weirdo.

BONUS – Here are some pictures of Taylor Swift from last year in a music video wearing a bikini …….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Demi Lovato|Perverts|Taylor Swift

2009

03

Dec

Taylor Momsen’s Street Whore Style of the Day

Quick question…Is this how all 16 year old girls dress these days, because I am old and haven’t had sex with a 16 year old in at least 6 months, so I’m not quite up to speed with the styles these days, but I do know that when I was 16, I don’t even think prostitutes or strippers dressed like this, but then again that was decades ago so we should expect that as time to go on for the rules on sexuality to loosen, and at this pace, in another couple of years, 12 year olds will be rockin’ this shit…something some of you are unfortunately excited about….The only disappointing thing in all this is she got famous too young so that lowers the chances of being able to get a blowjob from her for a couple of bucks or a promise to make her famous…making her pretty much useless to me….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Prostitute|Street Whore|Taylor Momsen

2009

03

Dec

Rihanna Hiding Her Tits at the Airport Cuz She’s Not in a Bra of the Day

I’ve spent the last hour trying to not masturbate to the beat up picture of Rihanna cuz she’s a fucking cunt and seeing her beat is like porn to me. If bitch is anything like I expect her to be, she fucking deserved it. From being a cunt to her local Bajan friends she grew up with, prancing around like the princess of the fucking island, when she was a fucking garbage man’s daughter from a shanty, I guess overcompensating for where she’s from, but remaining the trash she is and the whole thing is even more annoying because she doesn’t even know how to sing, not to mention when she covers her tits when she goes thru security at the airport without a bra on, because it’s part of her lesbian hair, lesbian biceps, lesbian shoulders, lesbianism cuz cock hurts when shit chokes you the fuck out in a rented lambo on your way home after busting a motherfucker’s balls with her jealousy was uncontrollable and abusive but no one ever talks about that. Bitch needs to realize that if you go to the airport without a bra on all you gotta do is fucking drop your crossed arms and share it with the rest of us…I guess the cock teasing bitch needs another life lesson….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Rihanna|Tits

2009

03

Dec

Shakira Seduces Santa Cuz She’s a Whore of the Day

Here’s a video someone shot of Shakira from up close at the lighting of the tree in New York last night. She’s singing Santa Baby, probably the most erotic Christmas Carol because she’s an immigrant whore and as an immigrant whore the only way to get ahead is to use her sex appeal, or whatever she has left of it, because people don’t realize that she’s pushing 40. I think she may have confused the American concept of Santa, cuz the last fat guy with a white beard and a red suit named Santiego was a coke dealer she used to date as a teen growin up in Columbia, cuz he’d buy her everything she wanted…

Either way, I figure if you look close enough you can see her pussy definition, maybe a little ass cheek, definite rockin’ the mic like the cock she used to sing into as she was comin’ up early on in her career and conveniently her midget legs are cut out of the frame making her as close to perfection as she gets…

Posted in:Santa Baby|Shakira|Whore

2009

03

Dec

Eva Mendes Ass in the Bad Lieutenant Movie of the Day

We’ve all seen Eva Mendes and her tits naked in other movies, making this clip of her ass in fishnets and panties really not that exciting, especially since getting naked and showing her whore ass is the easiest fucking way to get ahead, making her nothing but a cheap prostitutes, who should be doing something better with her life, instead of being exploited by white people. As a Mexican and Hispanic, I can say we’ve gone to fucking far as a race of people for our hot women to be used as dirty little whores whether in Hollywood or anywhere, so let us do what we do best and put her back in the cheap hotel room she should be cleaning…at least that is honest work….

I guess it’s nice to Nic Cage working again….

Posted in:Ass|Eva Mendes|Fishnets

2009

02

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

I think I just invented the most amazing thing. If I told you what it was then you could just steal it and leave me in the fucking dust, but I will say that it’s got nothing to do with the people who crashed the White House, it definitely has nothing to do with Tiger Wood’s wood getting moist in every pussy around the country because growing up as the only golfer his age, because he had no friends and his dad was trying to teach his mixed race ass to be white, forcing him to to hang with his dad and grandfather in his free time, doesn’t get you pussy, but 100,000,000 dollars a year does, it doesn’t have to do with Perez Hilton finally finding Lady Gaga, his first friend thanks to having an influential website that sells records for her, it’s got to do with things that actually fucking matter in life…it is the greatest invention in the world. I am going to be the next shamwow/slapchop guy…I just need to invent it…I am just way too lazy for that…

Until then, here are my stepLINKS….

AHHHHHHHHH Miranda Kerr!!
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Okay, Well Tiger Woods Is Officially Busted
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Because We All Deserve a Little Release Now and Again
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The 9 Hottest Dominican Women
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Diane Kruger is in a Bikini
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Mortal Kombat Is Not A Tournament – VIDEO
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Been Caught Stealing: History’s Six Great Musical Heists
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Atomic Kitten Jenny Frost See Through Dress Shows Panties
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A Little More Elisabetta Canalis
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^ Important Tips If You Plan on Driving Drunk
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MRS. KEATON FROM FAMILY TIES LOVES THE SNATCH
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Stripfilm of the Day
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Th Ex Miss Argentina Died After Getting HEr Ass Enlarged
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I Bet Anna Kendrick and George Clooney Boned
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Kate Hudson is Starting to Look So Much Like Goldie Hawn It’s Insane
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Happy Birthday Britney Spears
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Peta Has Royally Pissed Off the Catholic Church
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Kelly Brooke Gallery
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Samantha Buxton is Beautiful
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CAAAAAAT FIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHTTTTT – VIDEO
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Gettin Pounded By the Machine
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This Computer Simulation From China Of All This Tiger Woods Bullshit is Amazing
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Well Get There Danny Woodward
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Cody Love Really is Something Special
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Martha Stewart is Picking Fights All Over and I Love It
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Rosie Jones and Emma Frain Are Topless
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Luciana Loves the Great Outdoors
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Erika’s Tits Are Just Out Of This World
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Natalie Portman is Lookin’ Pretty Hot
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Half Naked Drunk Girls Having a Good Fucking TIme…Tonguing Each Other and Dry Humping Each Other
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Some New Sitcom is Out About Virgin Loser Gaming Dorks That I Am Sure You Will Fucking Love
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Mili Jay Knows Being Alone Isn’t a Bad Thing
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Lia Showers in a Gown
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Crystal McCahill Playboy Gallery
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John Mayer Wants a Threesom With Lohan and Sam Ronson
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Beef and Cheddar Anyone
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Justine Timberlake Is Going Back to The old School
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Okay I Am Going to Home Depot and Getting The Shit to Build a Trebechet Like NOW
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Sweet Christmas Nightmares
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Kylie Bisutti Wins 2009 Victoria’s Secret Supermodel Search
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Bai Ling, Being Disgusting as Usual
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I Can Dig These Babes that Get All Into Sports, Even Though I Have No Interest in Sports Whatsoever
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SERIOUSLY, AMY HAS THE HOTTEST “SLOPED ASS” I’VE EVER SEEN MY ENTIRE LIFE
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BONUS!!!

Watch My Friend’s New Music VIdeo….
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

02

Dec

Zoe Saldana Does Complex of the Day

You may already know who this chick is and considering she’s in the movie Avatar and you’re a gang of fucking virgins who have nothing better to do that wait for weird Sci-Fi shit to hit the movie theater, giving you a reason to leave your house and stand in line for a fucking day in excitement to be the first motherfucker in, you probably already have her image silk stapled on your fucking pillow case so that you don’t feel as lonely as you are, you pathetic piece of shit….

She did Complex and she looked fucking good making her one of those bitches we’ll be seeing a lot of, cuz it turns out there’s a lot of fucking pervert creepy virgins out there with disposable income to spend on seeing her in movie and in action figure to stick in their asses cuz they aren’t spending their money on anything else like having a social life for example…..

Reminding us that if you want to make it in the world, get the virgins behind you cuz they are a loyal bunch.


To See The Complex Photoshoot of this Bitch You Gotta Follow this Link
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Posted in:Avatar|Complex|Zoe Saldana

2009

02

Dec

Victoria’s Secret 2009 Fashion Show of the Day

These videos will be deleted soon because of bullshit copyright laws, but I wanted to get them up to anyone out there who didn’t watch the fashion show, but is in the mood to jerk off to the fashion show, because it is the best infomercial on TV and it only airs once a year, right before the holiday season. The girls are hot, the bodies are hot, Fergie isn’t wearing pants, you’ve already seen all the pictures, but pictures don’t let you appreciate how the titties bounce.

I didn’t watch the shit, cuz I don’t own a TV, but if I did, I would have…cuz lets face it life is pretty boring and our significant others are a far fucking cry from this quality pussy….Now watch the fucking video

Posted in:2009|Lingerie Fashion Show|Victoria's Secret

2009

02

Dec

Luisana Lopilato is Michael Buble’s Import Girlfriend of the Day

Her name is Luisana Lopilato . She is some model from Argenitina. He met her on set of his last music video. I am sure it was a real hard pick-up on his part… a real serious hustle to get in her pants on his part, you know being Michael Buble, the star of his music video that she was jumping up and down weeks before shooting because she got booked on the job to begin with, pretty much having all the groundwork done for him before ever showing up on set….

You see, bitches love money, celebrity and power and when bitch is an immigrant with a dream and he’s a multi-platinum selling artist no one really cares about, but who makes huge fucking money and can offer her the life she always wanted, without having to do much work other than a few blowjobs to completion every so often, which she doesn’t mind, cuz sucking dick is something she’s into….and he gets to fuck some seriously hot piece of ass…it all works out in the end….for everyone except us.

Here are some pictures of some of her work….

Here She is in a School Girl Strip…..

Posted in:Girlfriend|Luisana Lopilato|Michael Buble