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2010

01

Nov

Heidi Klum’s Halloween Party and her Guests of the Day

Apparently Heidi Klum does more than just get pregnant with Seal, but she also throws these Halloween parties and so many important people, like Kim Kardashian and Coco attend. I guess that’s what happens when you retire from the scene to be a family woman. I am not sure what she is dressed as, but I do know I can’t comfortably jerk off to it without feeling weird about it….

Here’s Kim Kardashian, still looking fat, even with her legs crossed and obesity strapped up in one of those harnesses they sell to fat chicks via infomercials late at night…the corset looks like it is gonna break, these costume grade shit’s aren’t meant to be used as functional fat chick shapers….

Here’s Coco lookin like Paris Hilton with tits and just being ridiculous, not necessarily justifying why she was invited to Heidi Klum’s party, but definitely justifying why I am compelled to look at her, like the elderly woman walking around in nipple tassels yesterday, I would have rather no bother staring at her or chasing for a pic, but her old lady tits just sucked me in.

Here’s Ashanti for those of you who like thick legs on a bitch who once had a hit song….which is probably all of you cuz pussy is fuckin’ pussy…no matter how low grade the meat is, we are hungry and need to be fed, except maybe for Ashanti who looks like she’s been fed plenty and that she’ll be just fine…

Posted in:Coco|Heidi Klum|Kim Kardashian

2010

29

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

In case you haven’t noticed. It’s halloween weekend. We all know what that means….It’s a great opportunity to rape a bitch and have a valid excuse for the cops by saying it’s part of your costume…or at least wait around the bars and parties everywhere til closing so that you can bring whatever table scrabs you can home with hoping that whatever is under the mask or costume is not something that can end up raping you when it comes to….It is the weekend all sluts let out their true slut colors….It is the weekend all every day people feel obligated to go out and slut out….It is a weekend of eye candy and people acting like fools bringing the ridiculousness…and if you can’t get laid then you have no hope…something we already knew about you…

Here are my stepLINKS….I’ll be back Monday with all the celeb costumes and their crying for attention and maybe a few decent stories and pics of pussy I encounter….

If you want to keep track of what I am doing I tend to update facebook and twitter while drunk often….It doesn’t mean it’s good but it’s something…

If you get any good pics for me to post from your Halloween send them to info (AT) DrunkenStepfather.com…

Now go fucking party….

Kanye’s Cock Looks Photoshopped On For the Gay Chatrooms and Gay Sexting He Does When Bored.
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Audrina Partidges Mom Apologizes For Her Drunken Rant, Let’s Look at the Video Again Because It Is Amazing – VIDEO
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Friday Nught Means It’s Time to Spend some Time Well Spent
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Minka Kelly is the stuff Dreams Are Made Of
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Hot Young Wife Loves a Good Finger Fuck – VIDEO
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The Hottest NFL Cheerleaders of Week 7
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More Christina Hendricks Fat Pics
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Mena Suvari Topless Hotness
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More of My New Girlfriend Emma Stone
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Arianny Celest is Naked and I Like It
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Inguna Butane is a Model With a tight Body
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50 Pictures that will Make You Want to Lock Yourself in your Room and Jerk Off All Day
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You’re Gona Wanna Check Out vickie Blows’s New Calendar Hotness
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Howard K Stern Was Found Guilty and Is Going to Jail and By Jail I Mean Holly Terms of Jail Which Means Being Held in Custody For 32 Minutes and Then Probably Getting a Reality Show
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The Shittiest Karate Master I’ve Ever Seen
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Keri Hilson is SUCH a Babe
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Janessa and Betty Know How to Work It Together – VIDEO
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And MORE Rihanna
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Samantha and Friend Love Girl on Girl – VIDEO
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This Whole Randy Quaid as a Real Life Fugitive Shit is Getting Crasier By the Day and Now There’s a Dog Involved
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I Can NOT Fucking WAIT to See TRON!!! – VIDEO
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Every Once and Awhile I See a Hipster Chick That Makes Me Think Dirty Thoughts
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I Kinda Got a thing for This Michelle Monaghan Broad
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Random Pic Dump For a Friday
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13 Embarressing Nerd Videos
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Raquel, Ariel or Alexa? Take Your Pick
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A Little Lindsay Lohan Drama, Just Because
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Jaime Graham on VIDEO
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DavidArquette Cried After Sex Hahahahahahah
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Some Scarlette Johansson Cause We Haven’t See Much Of Her Lately
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Lohan’s Busted Up Face and Other Useless People Make Really Bad Jokes for Judd Apatow Cuz Judd Apatow is All About Bad Jokes….
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Make Me Famous on FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Remember – Everyone’s a Hooker….

LARRY DVOSKIN “EVERYONE’S A HOOKER” from Lucas Heyne

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

29

Oct

Jenna Jameson Does the Pumpkin Patch of the Day

Jenna Jameson hit up the pumpkin patch because it’s the place you go if you don’t have a good PR person and you are in the mood to get a picture of you taken by the paparazzi…Unless of course this is the only fucking place in LA that you can get a pumpkin, like these assholes have the monopoly on it or something, and I’m just a little disappointed that she’d kill the excitement of what she’s going as this year by wearing her Zombie costume out early…not to mention Zombie’s are so fucking played out this year….oh wait…That’s just how she looks…my bad…I am also disappointed that she’s fuckin’ with such small pumpkins, you know based on what she did to her tits, and I guess what she did to her pussy, you’d think she was a go big or go home kind of slut…and really that’s no way to talk about my Twitter Girlfriend , but she neglects me lately, so fuck her…if you’re into takin’ risks…Get it? Cuz she’s a pornstar who would seemingly have a very polluted cunt….

Posted in:Jenna Jameson

2010

29

Oct

Taylor Swift’s Shitty Wax Figure of the Day

This has to be the worst Wax Figure of a celeb I have seen to date. I mean I couldn’t even tell the real Diddy apart from his wax version, but I see almost no similarities in this one and the real Taylor Swift…I have a feeling that it’s because the celebs are the ones who finance the shit, cuz it’s part of their marketing campaign of their new album, and they have final approval on what the thing is wearing and what the thing looks like, so it’s sade to say that this is what Taylor Swif wishes she looked like, if she had the ability to play god….

I would rather fuck the discount bargain basement pussy I made out of piss stained newspaper, toilet paper rolls, and chewed bubblegum I used as a hymen cuz I’m into virgins, than this…

I am just curious as to whether they do a full body mould and if they do, why isn’t the guy who works that part of the production process mass producing the Taylor Swift vagina section…..not because I like Taylor Swift…but because I like vagina.

Posted in:Taylor Swift

2010

29

Oct

Rihanna’s Slutty Outfit Distracts Me From Hating Rihanna of the Day

I guess Rihanna is dresssed like something I want to fuck on Halloween. This is like some throwback shit…

This is a nice change from dressing like a transexual from the future who want to see her green card confiscated from so that she gets sent back to barbados, pretty much falling off the map and leaving us all the fuck alone.

I fucking hate Rihanna and her thick legs, ugly hair, cry baby who tells on her man cuz he beat her the fuck down attitude…I hate her rockstar, ego that forgets it came from a Garbage man’s testicles and that lived in a shanty before turning tricks as a teen….but jean shorts, knee highs and a corset that makes titty pop are the simple things in life that make me forget the twat that’s in ’em….

I just got back from a volunteer gig I signed up for at the local high school for troubled kids because it gives me access to troubled kids who are almost 18 and statiscally going to be strippers and pornstars in the next two years….I figured halloween was the best day to start up, you know especailly since the world is so slutty, and I was right…

Unfortunately, I was asked to leave after 15 minutes when I asked one of the teachers if he noticed how hot the tits of of the girls dressed like a zombie slut was.

So much for trying to save the world by connecting with the leaders of tomorrow and giving them guidance…I try to do good for the world…but I just get shut the fuck down…

Posted in:Rihanna

2010

29

Oct

Daisy Lowe’s Ass for Crash of the Day

Daisy Lowe is Gavin Rossdale’s love child with Pearl Lowe. He was only proven to be her father when she was 15, it caused a lot of shit with his wife Gwen Stefani and it lead to rumors that he cut all ties with her, because you can’t let an old mistake come back to haunt you and try to ruin your happy new life with a woman who looks like a man but who everyone wanted to fuck in the 90s because we are gang of fucking homos who are fooled by marketing…

Except maybe for me, because I know that no matter how sweaty Gwen Stefani was, and no matter how hard her little boy nipples were, and no matter how ripped and chiseled her muscles were, I never found her appealing…that’s not to say I’m not a faggot, even though I’ve never had or wanted dick, but it is to say that I don’t like my women to look like they have one…but I am not Gavin Rossdale who openly is bisexual and who has admitted to being with dudes before marrying a chick who looks like a dude…

But I guess that’s got nothing to do with Daisy Lowe, even if we’re talking about her estranged stepMOTHER, and we are a site dedicated to step-Parenting and extended families, and what is actually important in all this is that Daisy Lowe is mooning us…proving yet again that a girl raised without a dad will do anything for male attention….especially one who wants to be a respected model…willing to perform for the photographer to pave her own way in life…despite the silver spoon….so there’s a lot of good things going on in her head…cuz it all leads to 21 year old bare ass her dad may not want, but I’m pretty sure I do…

Posted in:Daisy Lowe

2010

29

Oct

Kim Kardashian is a Fat Chick Dressed Skinny of the Day

These are some weird pictures…

If Kim Kardashian wore her skirt any lower, she’d be at risk of showing the world all her straps and harnesses she uses to squeeze her into an “hourglass” figure.

If Kim Kardashian wore her bra any lower, she’d be at risk of it holding up her battered pussy life from all the negro dick, I’m talking deflated balless scrotum lips and dick shaped clit, instead of her big fat chick tits..

Trust me, I’ve seen bitches choked the fuck out almost on a regular basis a few years ago and I can tell you one thing by her facial expression that even botox can’t cover-up…and that’s that whatever is going on under the grey skirt is some serious fucking industrial strength spanx…

I guess all she needs to do to keep up this lie is keep dressing like she’s skinny, I’m sure she has a team of experts working on this all the time, cuz they’ve figured out that as long as her calves are in decent shape or she keeps wearing heels…no one will notice how fucking fat she is…

I’m eager to see her naked, without all the photoshop, cuz I have a feeling when all is let loose, it’s a fuckin’ disaster…I’m talking a Tsunami for the poor fucking who’s face is in between her legs when she unbuttons the floodgates that are her specially crafted in a lab by scientists underwear.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

29

Oct

Hilary Duff’s Push Up Bra and Erotica for Kimmel of the Day

Not only did Hilary Duff bring out new tits and thick back her husband who got into Hockey cuz he loved the locker so much he decided to excel at the sport so that it would never end….you know the kind of guy who recruited her to be his wife to lure his hockey buddies into his bedroom by sharing her…you know these jocks and their team building..

Apparently, she also wrote a book and Kimmel decided to read the “erotic” exerpt at the end of the book, that can give you some ideas on how this bitch likes her Romance novels, but I think it’s safe to assume she didn’t write it at all, she’s just the face of it, cuz that’s what a billion dollar brand allows you to do…just ask the Olsen Twins…

Posted in:Hilary Duff

2010

29

Oct

Christina Hendricks Gets Confused for a Fat Hooker of the Day

Christina Hendricks was filming some bullshit and I think she was either playing a hooker, trying to trick people into thinking she’s a hooker, or actually mistaken for a hooker…and I don’t really care because I can’t see past her fat midsection. It’s one of those things where I know huge stupid tits come normally come with a little extra weight, but that’s not the kind of thing I am willing to accept from Hollywood. They have a responsibility to seek out and cast girls who have abnormally big breasts for their small frame, because the second I see this bloated pig, I forget she even has stupid tits, but I’m reminded of all the nights I was in the mood to play with tits, but was forced to play with the rest of a pig bitch….it was like some horrible, world is unfair trade off…..we can’t have our cake and eat it too…unless of course you’re Christina Hendricks…at least that’s what her pants bursting at the seams are telling me….

I guess I’m not one of those guys who can ignore a fat bitch cuz she has fat tits cuz having fat tits when you’re fat isn’t talent or genetic superiority, it’s just what happens when you’re fat. Trust me, I know because I have a full C-Cup even though I’m a dude…thanks to a fried food and beer diet that involved a lot of sitting…it was easy and I guess that means I don’t even need tits, cuz I got my fucking own…..but that doesn’t change the fact that this bitch needs to put the sandwich, donuts and everything else she’s been eating and hire a fucking trainer…this is a horrible example for the kids…especially when she distracts us from the fact that she is this pig with her tits…and idiots like you make a big deal out of her fat chick cleavage….making girls everywhere think it’s okay to eat…that’s not a campaign I’m about to support….

Today is the first day of the “Get Christina Hendricks on a Diet that Saves Her Tits, but fixes the Rest of Her” project…

Posted in:Christina Hendricks

2010

29

Oct

Sarah Shahi Twitter Bikini Pictures of the Day

This bitch is doing the “get twitter followers by posting half naked pictures of myself but keep them innocent enough, like of me in my bikini playing on the beach, instead of me in lace playing with my twat, cuz I don’t want to be so obvious that I am trying to get twitter followers by posting half naked pictures of myself, but I still want to post half naked pictures of myself to get twitter followers…” game. Why? Because no one’s ever fucking heard of her except maybe a few Dallas Cowboy fans who still jerk off to the 1999-2000 Dallas Cowgirl calendar, which I guess was a big year for that feature, since it was Y2K and people still used calendars, making it a real collector’s items for creepy mechanics and calendar aficionados everywhere….She was also in the 2005 Maxim Hot 100 list…but more importantly she won the Miss Fort Worth pageant in 1997…..she also was in a few movies I never saw or heard of and a TV show I never watched called The L Word, cuz I fucking hate dykes (cuz they are never the hot ones you want them to be, but always the manly man hating ones you’re scared of)…but the most interesting thing about this bitch, other than her obvious cry for attention, is that her birth name is Aahoo Jahansouzshahi. Seriously…

Posted in:Sarah Shahi

2010

29

Oct

Cindy Crawford Dusts Off Her Old Vagina for Vogue India of the Day

Last time and only time I saw Cindy Crawford in person was when she was getting out of her Escalade with her team of security as I happened to coincidentally be walking by her hotel….which is weird for me…cuz if I had known bitch was in town, I would have stepped up my stalker game and I probably wouldn’t have had the chance to make eye contact with her because I’m sloppy and the police would have probably restrained me at her in store appearance she was doing…cuz they generally don’t like drunk, fat, naked guys with small dicks humping the store window with “be my valentine” written on their chest in blood while crying…they keep us away from the “talent”, as well as small children and animals…I know it’s discrimination, but what can you do.

This was two years ago, she was promoting some furniture, I was drunk, she smiled at me as she peered down from her 6 foot tall vantage point, and I got a little hard, cuz bitch is fucking hot, even in her 40s.

So I’m happy to see her in these Vogue India pictures, playing her supermodel tits, dustin’ off her vagina, cuz really as much as I can’t stand older pussy, especially with kids, it’s not a deal breaker, cuz I a perver and I am unable to ignore it if it’s hot….but then again, maybe I’m just being nice to Cindy Crawford cuz she flirted with me…I know what that expression of disgust in her face was, it was lust.

Posted in:Cindy Crawford

2010

28

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

Good news…The site hasn’t been shut down. But I think my body is. I had this great idea of drinking a cheap bottle of champagne when I couldn’t sleep at 5 in the morning and shit fucking destroyed me.

I’ve walked in at least one wall. Fallen down the stairs at least once. Was unable to get an erection for at least a month and feel like taking a nap…but not enough to crawl in bed with my pig wife who is eating spaghetti unnaturally fast….part of me wishes my life was more interesting…but the rest of me just can’t bother getting off this couch….even though I know all girls will be out on the scene tonight half naked…Thursday is the official start of Halloween parties…I should go stare at young ass to remind myself that I don’t deserve young ass. Maybe I should just go to the strippers…everyone deserves fucking strippers…they are affordable…disgusting…and let you grab their useless trashy tits violently….except sometimes they smell like anus.

I don’t know about you, but I think we should be friends…cuz vacation pics are my porn

Here are my stepLINKS….

Kendra Wilkinson Turned Down Posing for Playboy Even THough ALl She’s Done is Playboy…Except Maybe for that Sex Tape….
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Katy Perry’s Tits Are Exploding With Fire
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Do This for the Ladies…Or At Least for your Balls…They Are Tired of You Being the Only One Who Works Them….
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Marisa Miller is in Leather Pants and Looks Amazing
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Blonde College Girl Self Fisting – VIDEO
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Capri Anderson’s Hot Body Costs 12,000 Dollars a Session
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More on my New Dream Pussy – Capri Anderson
Caprice Anderson is NOT a Whore, but A Porn Star. Get It Straight!
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Because It’s Thursday and You Need to Kill Time Before You Go Shoot Your Co-workers Tomorrow
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The 50 Best Sports-Themed Costumes For Halloween
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That JWoww Slut is Body Painted
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Reese Witherspoon is Looking Bangable in a Midget Kind of Way
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Christina Aguilera is Braless With Hard Nipples
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And More Pics of the Slut/Porn Star/Hooker Charlie Sheen Almost Murdered
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I’m No Fag, But I’d fuck David Williams Before I Fucked Kelly Osbourne – GALLERY
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I Love a good GIF Animation That Involves Great Tits
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This Fat Person Wants Us to Stop Making Fun of Fat People – VIDEO
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Amy Reid’s Tits Are Fucking Insane
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And Here’s Lady Gaga in a Sexual Harassment PSA. And Yes, I Am Dead Serious. FF to .45 Seconds – VIDEO
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Mmmmmm Girl on girl Gallery
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I’m always Fine Looking at Charlize Theron
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Audrina Patridge’s Mom is SHITFACED – Video
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Top 5 List: Halloween Sex Toys
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Roxanne Knows How to Self Pleasure
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Angelique Boyer is All Types of Sexy
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Eva Mendes Hotness of the Day
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Man I Love Emma Stone
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Nasty Webcam Teen
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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This Taylor Swift Wac Figure is Really Creepy But I Bet You Would Still Fuck It
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And That’s What Happens when you Crash the Lambo = VIDEO
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Striptease of the Day
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Masuimi Max and Emily Marilyn – GALLERY
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7 tasteless Halloween costumes for 2010
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Some Nikki Alexander Hotness
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Some Paris Hilton Just Cause It’s Been Awhile
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Follow Me on FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

28

Oct

Capri Anderson is Charlie Sheen’s Escort of the Day

Chalie Sheen trashed a hotel room while on a drunken coke fueled bender. WATCH THE ASIAN ANIMATION HERE …He was not sent to jail because celebrities were untouchable. He did traumatize an escort he was with and it turns out that she is pornstar Capri Anderson..who I’ve never heard of, but who is featured in this video masturbating.

Most pornstars are also hookers on the side….that’s how AIDS works its way on set..I mean if you think about it, it’s kinda their job to get fucked for money anyway…and porn’s in an economic downturn, they only get paid 1000 dollars a scene, while hooking you can make upwards of 20,000 a session depending on who the buyer is….you gotta make money where you can, dirty little sluts…

I know people who have fucked pornstars for under 300 dollars an hour…I never have cuz I find pornstars disgusting and I’d rather pay 300 dollars for 10 crackwhore blowjobs…but if you’re interested, there’s a website you can find all their prices…It’s not a secret, it’s just not really advertised….

Either way, she’s got a pretty hot little body, I love watching chicks masturbate and I can only assume this is gonna be a huge break for her.

Here’s a Bunch of her Porn Shoots…


Capri Anderson Dyking Out
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Capri Anderson Strips Down and Plays With Herself
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Capri Anderson Wet in the Shower
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Capri Anderson Still Wet in the Shower
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Capri Anderson Riding Some Chick’s Face
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Capri Anderson in some After School Lesbian Fun
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Capri Anderson Totally Naked
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Capri Anderson’s Shaved Pussy and Perky TIts
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Capri Anderson in a Maid Outfit
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Capri Anderson Plays With Whip Cream
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Capri Anderson Gets Fucked With a Strap-On
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Posted in:Capri Anderson

2010

28

Oct

Candice Swanpoel for Beach Bunny Swimwear of the Day

I’m fresh out of South Africa Aids jokes….but I’ve got some South Africa hot pussy in some pretty intense “swimwear”…this is like the porno version of a bathing suit…all fetish-like and perfect for cum to roll off of….I’m ready for this style to hit the local community pool…but maybe I’m reading into things a little too much…but this campaign is hot….we need more Candice Swanpoel….she’s the best thing to happen to South Africa…since apartheid…..

Posted in:Candice Swanpoel

2010

28

Oct

Fergie Dressed Like a Golden Girl of the Day

I don’t know what Fergie is doing here…but it looks like she’s a fancy divorcee from the 80s on a Caribbean Cruise in her one piece bathing suit and a semi-see through dress sipping cocktails and flirting with the pool boy…trying to get cock to fill her dried up old cooter…There’s nothing hot about that…but then again, I’ve never been into older chicks…with or without money…I just can’t lick their cunts with confidence knowing how long that cunt’s been in operation….

I remember hooking up with a 60 year old bitch I met in a hotel lobby when I was in my 20s…that was when 60 meant fucking 60…She offered me 100 bucks to go down on her and I’d still whore myself for 100 dollars…but I was aware of her kids, all the men she had fucked and counted every lick cuz it was a job and when she demanded I lick her ass..with her chain smoking voice…all i could think about was how many times she had taken a shit..and the whole time I was telling myself I shoulda known better cuz with a weathered face…comes a weathered pussy….but I’m pretty sure she had the same outfit as Fergie on.

Posted in:Fergie