Modern Day Journalism
 
 

2010

08

Nov

Ashlee Simpson Has No Ass in Jeans of the Day

I don’t know where Ashlee Simpson left her ass, but I know it’s not in her pants. Maybe Jessica ate it when her team of chefs couldn’t make her a pulled pork sandwich at 4 am…cuz there were no 24 hour grocery stores around…but more importantly because they were ignoring her calls due to extreme exhaustion from all the work she’s been putting them through with her emotional eating that she’s embraced as part of who she is lately…It’s just not humanly possible to keep up with those kinds of demands….

The good news for Jessica is that country music chicks from Texas are allowed to be fat…instead of starving herself for the LA scene and the general public she turned her back on cuz we expect her to be the busty hot chick we used to jerk off to…country fans are more loyal, less superficial, and used to obesity…if you’ve ever been to Wal Mart in a Texan suburb, you’ll get what I’m saying….

The bad news for her is that she has to buy two seats on the plane when she travels commercial….

The good news for Ashlee is that genetics haven’t bogged her down and blown her up into a fucking big and she doesn’t have to drop the “baby weight” excuse every bitch uses….But the bad news for her is that she looks like a dude from behind…especially with the new haircut…which is great news for her husband Pete “Fall Out Boy” Wentz, you know cuz he’s gay and I guess that makes him the winner in all this.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson

2010

08

Nov

Mila Kunis Friends With Benefits Preview of the Day

Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake were filmed or are filming a movie together called Friends with Benefits and despite being one of those movies that I could have written blindfolded with one hand behind my back and the other fingering my ass, because that’s how I’ve been writing this site the last 6 years and I’m experienced, and unlike the movie I never wrote but wanted to, this one looks like it is going to be a hit.

The reason it is going to be a hit is because she’s hot. Her character is the “cool chick” guys actually like hanging with and it’s about her fucking her friend Justin Timberlake casually and obviously having it blossom into a full romance. Obvious. But in obvious comes her in a bra, her getting eaten out, her cumming hard, her simulating sex, and it’s all pretty good to me…

Now if I only I could get over the fact that she has Culkin-AIDS.

Posted in:Mila Kunis

2010

08

Nov

Rachel Bilson’s Fat Manager of the Day

Behind every hot girl I want to fuck, there’s a fat chick. A fat chick who gets in the fucking way of me trying to trick, drug, seduce the hot girl I want to fuck into fucking…because for some reason I was always the guy who came along the night the fat chick decided she wanted dick and was tired of all the dick running to her hot friend…

You know the night the fat chick and her friends had a meeting before going out deciding that tonight was the fat chick’s night of glory and the hot girl was not going to get in the way of that….she was actually going to help the fat chick get cock…because as her friend she was tired of hearing her whine and because the hot girl wasn’t really looking for cock, since she was hot and kinda had her choice in who she brought home in every facet of life, generally not needing some pervert she found in a bar…

I guess what’s in it for Bilson, or other hot girls with fat friends is that it makes them look tiny and fit….they get to be the pretty ones who get all the attention, except on the nights I met them, because I know if I met these girls in a bar, I’d probably be going home alone cuz the fat manager no one wants knows she can do better….or worse, I’d be tricked into going home with her….you know cuz of that whole vagina, no matter how buried it is still being a vagina….

It’s happened many times and I do it, even though I don’t believe getting laid is getting laid, or pussy is pussy, it’s actually fucking traumatic. I don’t like it and I am proud of it. It’s just one of those take what I can get, low expectations cuz I deserve the fat manager and not the hot one cuz a defeatist attitudes manages my failures without jumping in front of a train…

Posted in:Rachel Bilson

2010

08

Nov

Underage Sluts is The Highlight of the Weekend of the Day


I haven’t even really been on the computer all weekend, I was taking a break, taking in all the sights and sounds of sitting on my couch and staring at the wall, too broke to really do anything, and too unmotivated to get up and out there to see what the world has to offer, and too ghetto to have a functioning TV, and too retarded to pick up a book….So I may be jumping the gun here, but I think that Miley Cyrus’ Camel Toe to deal with her mom’s cheating ass that made Billy Ray’s Achy Breaky Heart a more authentic tune, and Taylor Momsen’s Bra because she’s not about to let Miley outshine her underage slut behavior that gets her noticed, it’s all she has going for her…and their competition for attention has got to be the best news, pictures, post of the day….

The reason it is the best post, is cuz it’s a reminder of the damage it does to a generation of women due to their influence is something you used to only find in homes of male attention craving girls who were molested and open to sex and skilled with dick cuz of practice and dick exposure at such a young age….now you get that without dealing with all the repressed memories, issues and anger towards their uncle or whoever did it….anger that eventually makes them crawl into a shell and only respond to hugs…something you didn’t sign up for when she was giving you a 10 years of experience at the age of 17 blowjob behind the local Dunkin Donuts…

It’s like these Miley and Momsen bitches are the cool girls the other girls want to be like, so they mimic them…and apparently they are a lot more convincing than a dirty old man like me telling to to throw their morals and underwear out after leaving for school for the day, it’s almost like Miley and Momsen are working for us.

It’s like this is some kind of high school fantasy where the bad girl teaches the good girl how to suck pussy only out there in the public for us all to enjoy, and not hidden behind the door at a high school sleepover…

It’ll be interesting to see how this affects the teenage AIDS rate going forward…but since I’m just a voyeur, I’m okay with that….cuz AIDS can’t affect a dude jerking off to AIDS….

True story.

Bonus – Here’s Miley’s MTV Camel Toe Performance….


To See the Rest of the Pictures – FOllow These Links – Cuz the Paparazzi Hate Me

Miley Camel Toe
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Momsen Bra Show
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Here’s the Miley video, cuz I like Miley’s All American Girl shit a lot better than Momsen’s deathly gothic vampire weirdness, but more importantly cuz I love that her outfit is enough to make grown men listen to her shitty music…it’s pathetic and kinda what I live for.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Taylor Momsen

2010

05

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

Today was a real fucking disaster. It was probably the single best day in celebrity tit in a long fucking time and for those of you who have been coming to the site since the beginning know…that kinda shit is what this site was built on. The paparazzi pics fucking bore me, they are just filler for when the sex tapes, nude scenes, nip slips and vagina flashes hit…I’m talking self-shot nudes, or staged nudes, I don’t fucking care, it’s what I fucking do, it’s why I’m in this….I mean other than the glitz and glam of having a website no one has ever heard of….and not making money…getting lawyers letters and not being able to produce movies with real life whores cuz real life whores don’t work for free…and the site crashed…

I spent all day emailing, yelling, trying to get the site back up and running, and apparently it is, but whenever I say that, it crashes again.

It has been 3 weeks of hell, instablity, viruses and hackers…the site is pretty much fucking destroyed and now I gotta rebuild it…It’s a challenge, I’m not sure I’m capable of, but I’ll use the weekend to think about it….or rather forget about it…thanks to hard fucking drinking…

Here are the stepLINKS…if you still see this monday, it means I jumped in front of a bus…and if I do…I hope I make the fucking news…CUDDLES…

I’ve Said it All Along – The Girls in Glee Are Not What They Look Like in GQ – They Are Disgusting
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Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One. So a Chinese 20 Something Dresses Up Like an Old Guy…
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Because If This Week Didn’t Make You Blow Your Brains Out, It’s Time to Celebrate With Some Web Vadge
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Jordana Brewster Rocks a Bikini Proper
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Hottie Takes a Bath – VIDEO
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John Goodman Looks Like He’s Dying at the Halloween Parade
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Jessica Simpson is Sad Nick Lachey is Getting Married – But Her New Cock is Fucking Excited – He’s In
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The 25 Most Embarrassing Athlete Endorsements
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Danielle Lloyd Ass Flash Throwback
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Marion Cotillard Just Does It For Me
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Lohan’s Stay in Rehab Sounds More Awesome Than My Everyday Life
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Zooey Deschanel Naked Anyone?
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Daniela Freitas Has One Tight Body
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Watching Giant Tits Move in a Animated GIF is Hypnotic and I Love It
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Blake Lively WTF Are You Wearing?
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And Now, One of the Best Commercials Ever – VIDEO
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I Mean Really, Who Doesn’t Love Vagina? – GALLERY
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Maliah Michel Knows How to Work It
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11 Sexy Actresses that Can’t Act for Shit
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Teri, Suzy and Paloma Get It On
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The Only Ten I See: Interview With Pornstar Allanah Li
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A Little Bit of Rihanna for Good Measure
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Kayden Kross Gets Her Masterbation On
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Christina Aguilera Sluts It Up in Burlesque
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Nothing Like A Bestiality Story to Kick Off the Weekend
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Yeah I’d Bang Sandra Bullock
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Melissa Giraldo Bikini Photoshoot
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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18 Crazy Politicians – VIDEO
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Hot Teen Gets Her Pussy Cleaned – VIDEO
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Demi Lovato’s Dad and Michael Lohan Should Become Buddies
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Get a Load of Jessica Burciaga – VIDEO
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Mel gibson Wants You to Watch Him Pet His Beaver
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And MORe Jessica Alba
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Follow Me On FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

05

Nov

Anne Hathaway’s Tits for Elle Magazine of the Day

Anne Hathaway is confusing….sometimes she looks LIKE THIS and other times she looks LIKE THIS and although I’d probably titty fuck both these bitches homeless lookin’ and lost or half naked and professional shot with my stump of a dick provided the opportunity….the truth is that I will never be provided that opportunity…so I shouldn’t waste my time talking about it like some kind of loser in the SciFi club who can’t get laid and fixates on fantasy cuz fantasy is all he knows…or some shit…I should however waste my time drinking my fucking face off.

Here’s Anne Hathaway’s tits in a recent Elle Cover….cuz it’s better than nothin’

Posted in:Anne Hathaway

2010

05

Nov

Milla Jovovich Ridiculous Nipples in Some Movie of the Day


   

It looks like Milla Jovovich, one of the most overrated pussies to ever escape communism when she was 5 and barely even communist, for the good life in the USA where her mother turned tricks for Brian De Palma, while she landed a modeling contract at 12, but what I can only assume were a group of pedophiles, who escaped being called pedophiles by using the “fashion” card….

Eventually becoming totally overrated cuz virgin losers everywhere loved her for being the physical representation of a videogame they grew up jerking off to….

Is back in full force after the birth of her kid a few years ago, and by back in full force, I mean back to showing off her really substantial nipples, nipples so thick they look like faucets big enough to feed adult babies in dirty diapers…for some movie called Stone….

Posted in:Milla Jovovich

2010

05

Nov

Some Sex in Some Lesbian Movie You’ll Probably Never See of the Day

I have a feeling you will probably never intentionally see the movie “The Kids are All Right”, so I figured I’d post the key two sex scenes, because I actually saw this movie, because I have little to do with my time, and I happened to sneak into a theater and wondered from movie to movie for a day a few months ago, and shit was good, if good means watching the trials and tribulations of an old lesbian couple when their sperm bank made kids go out to find their dad who ends up destroying their lesbian family is good to you….I slept through most of the movie…except for these clips….so here you get to see the goods without feeling like a total fag. You’re welcome.

Here’s Julianne Moore’s naked body in yet another naked scene because that’s what Julianne Moore does. I can only assume her exhibitionism stems from no one wanting to touch her when she was growing up as a red head, you know cuz red heads are monsters, especially before bikini waxes were the norm, something that I bet if you researched would find was invented by a red head.

Sure she’s getting older, but I appreciate her commitment to her art by constantly showing her tit…someone get this bitch a lifetime achievement award…

Here is some black bitch with an afro who I find fucking hot….you may wanna full screen this bitch for the full effect…but remember I’m biased and black chicks drive me bananas…no that wasn’t a racist comment….about how they drive me bananas cuz they have a big supply…you’re the racist for thinking it was….

Posted in:Julianne Moore|Yaya DaCosta

2010

05

Nov

Katie Cassidy Topless Strip Scene in Some Movie of the Day

Her name is Katie Cassidy. I feel like I have heard her name before, you know since I do this shit everyday, with or without a functionaing website, but never really bothered figuring out who she is, cuz it really doesn’t matter unless she’s naked or in a sex tape…and today I came across some clip from some movie called Live, that I had the misfortune of watching the other day at a friend’s house, and she shows a little tit. Since we like tits of all cree, color, race, shape, age, gender, since we are an equal opportunity website, I figured I’d share it with you….

Apparently, her dad is David Cassidy from the Partridge Family, who based on her IMDB, hasn’t really got many strings to pull…until this year when she got on Gossip Girl, I guess he was tired of her humiliating the family with her Straight to DVD shit, you know since he was a real memorable talent from bad 70s shows…and here is his daughter’s tight body…doing what it should be doin’ if it wasn’t for Partridge Family royalties…

Posted in:Katie Cassidy

2010

05

Nov

Possible Kat Dennings Sexting to Get Noticed of the Day

(PICTURES REMOVED THANKS TO KAT DENNINGS LEGAL COUNCIL – HER PLAN TO BE KNOWN SEEEMED TO HAVE WORKED )

I don’t know who Kat Dennings is…..I just know she Sexts….because every girl in the world takes nude pics of themselves, it’s just the good ones who let those nude pics out and into the hands of perverts like me….Obviously, she’s trying to get noticed as an actor amongst actors and obviously it worked cuz her tits are pretty major….

Now I’ll just sit back and wait for her lawyer’s letters, cuz that’s what all these publicists do…I call it the publicity cock tease…it’s like a whore who you go home with and she let’s you play with her tits, realizes what’s going on, loses her shit and beats you up and steals your wallet…

In the meantime, let’s enjoy the tits while they last. Remember to save them on your hard drive before they are robbed of us thanks to the Law….I’ve seen it happen before and I’m sure it’ll happen again…

And really, who cares, it’s just tits….but I guess we should give her credit for cropping out her head in 2 of the 3 pics…you know cuz the one she left her head in isn’t the exact background as the other two…she thought she was being so clever.

UPDATE:

Kat Dennings threatened to sue me for millions of dollars. Her legal council insisted I remove the images. She should be paying me for helping her market herself.

IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO KAT DENNINGS THREATS OF SUING ME. However I am sure they can be found on some ethnic site using a tool we call google. That’s your business.

I just know that I’m not down with getting sued by some low level celeb trash for posting pics of her sloppy tits that she probably leaked.

I like to save legal issues for actual celebs.

Posted in:Kat Dennings

2010

05

Nov

Possible Jessica Alba Mom Sexting of the Day

Seeing as she’s been with the same dude for a long time and they have a kid together, I doubt he’d go around showing people these pictures for jokes, so either it’s not Alba, or it’s an inside job to regain her sex appeal after having a kid and pretty much ruining it….I guess you can be the judge and all I really know is that bitches with digital cameras change fucking lives…

Unfortunately, as Jessica Alba’s sext can confirm, sexting takes on a whole new level of disgusting when it is monitoring baby weight, or post baby weight, which I can only assume this is, you know those pregnant bitches just can’t get enough watching their body’s transform…and think the guys they are with who are fucking hookers behind their back to feel like men cuz their bitches have morphed into monsters are into it…

But like I say whenever I watch a bitch breast feed her kid in public, at least there’s nipple.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2010

05

Nov

Kirsten Dunst Nude in All Good Things of the DAy

Kirsten Dunst was topless in a movie…We’ve all wanted to see her naked tits for a long time, because before she stopped showering, looked homless and like her pussy stank, she was this funny toothed girl with huge tits on a small frame…something I believe is worth celebrating….even if it is a few years too late…because really seeing tit on a bitch is never too late…sometimes those years of rock bottom is what they need to realize their worth to take on roles like this…cuz I know when she was peaking…she would never agree to show nipple…oh how the tables have turned…

Posted in:Kirsten Dunst

2010

05

Nov

stepNEWS of the Day

It’s been a while since I’ve polluted your minds with the stepNEWS….

I figure what better way of celebrating officially having the most unstable website on the internet – than to give you some videos you won’t watch cuz news scares you when you’re looking for pussy pics…

Massive Drug Trafficking Tunnel Found in CA

Baby Attacked by Raccoons in GA

Teacher Bites Student in FL

Mad Hatter Ruins Beer Pong Game on Halloween

Girlfriend Gives Lap Dance at Cowboys Game

FL Runaway Forced into Prostitution in MI

Posted in:Uncategorized

2010

04

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

In the event you’ve visited the site and saw “Suspicious or Malicious or Conspicuous Site Warning” because some asshole compromised my banner ads I was running and not making money from. The URL the hacker was coming from was ASD.com. Whoever owns that URL should be killed.

That said, this message was just sent in from Google:

Status of the latest badware review for this site: A review for this site has finished. The site was found clean. The badware warnings from web search are being removed. Please note that it can take some time for this change to propagate.

We’re clean. I wish STD tests were this easy….

Tune in tomorrow to see what else can go wrong on DrunkenStepfather.com….and to really test my patience in running a website that sucks….

I haven’t quit the site yet, but I’m telling you someone sure wants me to.

Here are my stepLINKS

Kanye West Banged Kim Kardashian – I Knew She Had a Cock and that Sex Tape Was Stunt Cunt
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At This Point, We Could Put Auto Tune on My Farts and They Could Get a Record Deal
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Impress Girls Enough To Have THem Approach You and As For a Ride on Your Dick She’ll Be Calling Trigger’
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Her Pussy Wants Your Cock – VIDEO
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Miley Cyrus And A Girl With Big Tits
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Dude Gets Lapdance At Cowboy Game
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Miley Cyrus is Nice and Medicated Through Her Whore Mom’s Cheating…Good things to come…
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Because My Day Has Been Hard as Hell and It’s Time to Pull One Out
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Sarah Jean Underwood Got a New Set of Tits and They Are Fine By Me
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The 25 Most Embarrassing Athlete Endorsements
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I Don’t Know Who Monqie Parent is But She Sure Has One Nice Rack
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Jesus Christ, Lady Gaga Looks, Dare I Say, NORMAL
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This Panty Upskirt is Brought To You By Blake Lively
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Sophia Busy is Looking Pretty Hot
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The 10 Awesome Whore Pictures Of The Day
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Hey It’s Carlton Banks! – VIDEO
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Front Row Lap Dance At a Cowboys Game
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A Nice Gallery of Capri Anderson
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I Love Bad Girls Club – VIDEO
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Check Out the Lovely Lindsay Meadows
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File Under: Things You Didn’t Think Could Get You Laid
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Frieda Pinto is Looking Good as Always
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Gotta Love Girls That Love to Eat Pussy – VIDEO
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Playboy Cyber Girl Tess Taylor Arlington
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Gay Fish And George W. Bush Are Like Soul Sisters, Or Something
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Carmen Electra is Looking Pretty Good
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After all This Time I Still Got a Thing for Heather Graham
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Now She’s One Busty Teen
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Some Miley Cyrus Jailbait
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Jessica Simpson is Fat and Wasted
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Halloween Fight – VIDEO
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Striptease of the Day
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Tera Patrick is Hot in the Jungle
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WTF Photo of the Day
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10 Toys That Will Screw Your Kid Up For Life
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Meet Julissa – VIDEO
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I Don’t Know About You But I Want a Portia di Rossi and Ellen Sex Tape
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Follow Me On FACEBOOK and TWITTER

BONUS – Facebook Friend Who May Not be Real of the Day
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

04

Nov

Blake Lively Panty Flash of the Day

I think Blake Lively looks like a haggard prostitute who does too much coke, but she plays such a good girl with her public persona, so how could she be a haggard prostitute who does too much coke? Simple. All good girls put up a bad girl front, they want the world to think they suck dick while taking it up the ass and using one hand to finger a chick and the other to cut lines, when the real girls who do that shit want no one to know…

So Blake Lively finally had a slip-up and her squeaky clean image her face tells a different story about finally flashed some cunt…sure it’s wrapped up in panty cunt…but still cunt to me…..


To See The Rest of the Picture Since the Paparazzi Hate Me – Follow This LInk
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Posted in:Blake Lively