I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

24

Feb

Christie Brinkley’s Daughter Depresses Me of the Day

I grew up jerking off to Christie Brinkley’s modeling pics, it was the 80s, I was a virile young man who hadn’t found the value in cheap hookers and together we had a pretty wholesome coming of age relationship. She was with me the first time I ever stuck anything in my ass to heighten orgasm, she was with me when I jerked off in the school bathroom, she was with me when I asphyxiated myself with my belt the first time, she was with me the first time I fucked an inanimate object and with me the for the first 20 or 30 times I fucked ugly chicks.

I remember staring to hate her when she married Billy Joel. I remember hating her more when she got pregnant with him and I remember being excited when I found it was a girl 13 years younger than me, thinking that by the time she was 18, we could maybe fuck. Then I forgot about the whole thing, I turned 16, I got my driver’s license, I got on with life and I couldn’t be bothered remember Brinkley or any other model or celebrity, I was too into living and by living I mean slowly killing myself.

When I came across these pictures of Alexa Ray Joel last night, I didn’t believe it. Christie Brinkley was a blonde goddess, not some hooked nose rat, I guess Billy’s seed is strong, or should I say Billy JEW’s seed is strong….

I was reminded of those years, the hope, the memories, the good times, but horribly faced with the reality that Alexa Ray Brinkley is no Christie. I guess it only makes sense since my life is filled with disappointment.

Here are her pics in some stupid outfit from the other day….

It turns out the as nepotism does, she’s a recording artist, because modeling wasn’t really an option an here is a boring perfomance video….I have no idea how a 20 year old would get into this kind of music…I am posting it because she’s disappoints me.


Here’s Her Myspace….
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That said, I’d still fuck her, just to get a chance to accidentally walk in on her mom in the bathroom, or sleeping, or some shit. And I feel for her, because it must suck to live a life in your mother’s shadow. All she can do is blame Billy.

Posted in:Christie Brinkley|Daughter

2009

24

Feb

Kelly Clarkson’s Pretty Fucking Disgusting of the Day

Remember when you had a thing for Kelly Clarkson and you’d get mad at me for calling her a pig. You know when you thought she was the hottest popstar out there because she reminded you of the girl next door, because in reality, she was the girl next door. I’d say shit about how you can tell she’s a fat chick hiding in a skinny girl’s body because of contracts, I’d compare her to Ruben Studdard and I’d get so much fucking hate, like she meant so much to you, like she represented the American Dream, like thinking she was fat was against god’s way and was unpatriotic because she was an American Idol. Well Guess what, I win.

Well actually it looks like the dessert tray won, you know night after night after night, getting her fatter and fatter until reaching this point of fat, which as far as I am concerned is too fat to be seen in public but just fat enough to marry and and treat like the shit that she is to ensure food is on your table every night while living off her fortune.

Here she is in other clothes, I guess she was so excited to find shit that fit that she couldn’t wait to show the world….

Posted in:Disgusting|Fat|Kelly Clarkson

2009

24

Feb

Kanye’s Lesbian Hipster Girlfriend Dressed Like a Clown of the Day

If you’re wondering why Kanye’s dating some lesbian hipster, it’s because she’s got a haircut he can deal with as long as he fucks her from behind and she answers to the name, Jeff.

Here are some pictures of Amber Rose, Kanye’s Girlfriend, and her Ex-Girlfriend…Doing Some PG Dyking Out
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Posted in:Hipster|Kanye West|Lesbian

2009

24

Feb

Amanda Bynes’ Retard Face Snobs Homeless Guy in Video of the Day

Here’s a video of Amanda Bynes and her cunt friend ignoring a homeless guy in a wheelchair as they jump into her 60,000 dollar car. Her raspy friend who I’ll call “The Jew” says “Sorry, excuse me”, pretty much a passive aggressive “Ew, you’re gross, fuck off”, to the homeless guy as her begs desperately for some change, asking them to have a heart,which I guess he figured out, they don’t have because they are vapid little hollywood cunts who think they are hotter than they actually are.

Sure Amanda Bynes hasn’t worked in a long time and her groupie’s only job has been working her way into Amanda Bynes’ entourage, hoping for the tail-end of her fame, so they were too pre-occupied to hear his screams of serious hunger and pain.

Assholes.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Chipmunk|Legs|Pudgy

2009

24

Feb

Katy Perry Pretends to Play Guitar of the Day

Katy Perry is keeping things weak, fabricated, contrived, staged, fake, and totally fucking bullshit by bringing out her guitar on stage at some event somewhere in Europe.

Not only is her entire record deal and idea of talent some kind of lie I don’t fucking understand, as is the fact that people like hearing her fake sexual fantasies in song and give her attention for it, despite her dyking out being really disgusting, you know like the ugly lesbian in high school who was a lesbian because no one would take her boyish good looks to prom and vagina was the only answer, but the biggest lie of it all is that she’s got sex appeal just because she’s got big tits and some perverts give her attention for it, when in reality, she’s just fat.

So I guess seeing her rock the guitar fits in with everything else she’s doing and it’s just another reason to hate her a little more than I did yesterday. Thanks Katy Perry. You cunt.

Posted in:Fake|Guitar|Katy Perry

2009

24

Feb

Kim Kardashian Pretends to Workout of the Day

Kim Kardashian played make-belief yesterday when escorting her boyfriend to the gym. This was probably the first time this pig made it passed the front door because every other time she tried to go, she’d end up at the ice cream shop, but I guess since it’s the off season and she’s actually gotta spend time with her athlete boyfriend, she’s got no choice. The good news though is that he just makes Kim Kardashian stand 10 feet in front of the treadmill and bend over a little in her spandex, because it makes him run at her faster, since that shit is addictive to black men and he wants to mount her like they were an exhibit at the fucking zoo.

BONUS – Some Pics of Her Lookin’ At Her Ass after her rough workout.

Posted in:Ass|Kim Kardashian|Tits|Workout

2009

24

Feb

Fun with Cancer of the Day

This 9 year old has been fighting cancer for a couple of years and has been given a couple of weeks to live. Her last request was to get married so her family put it all together for her. I know what you’re thinking about a little too much and that’s whether she saved herself for marriage like she was a Jonas brother.

Either way, seeing her mother devastated, crying and weak is a little fucking obnoxious, considering it’s supposed to be her daughter’s day and she’s taking away from everyone’s happiness. She’s making it about her, like this whole “look how sad I am losing my only child” attitude on such a beautiful day when she should just wait out the 2 weeks so her kid’s last memories are those of fucking smiles.

But other than that the whole thing is a pretty fucking depressing story but I guess that’s the whole point of these “Fun With Cancer” Posts.


To See Yesterday’s Fun With Cancer Post Follow This Link….
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Posted in:9 Year Old|Cancer|marriage

2009

24

Feb

Beyonce’s Nipple Slip from the Oscar of the Day

I posted this shitty Beyonce, Jackman, High School Musical performance from the Oscars yesterday because I had slept in and I knew that the best way to annoy people was to post more Oscar bullshit.

I didn’t take the time to watch it and the part that I did see was spent avoiding Beyonce’s Fried Chicken things by trying to spot a Zac Effron vagina slip, so I didn’t notice that Beyonce’s nipple popped out, but luckily, someone with a lot of time on his hands, took the time to capture the moment for people like me to share with the world. Thanks economic crisis and job layoffs for letting us distract our unemployed selves with the things that really fucking matter….

Posted in:Beyonce|Nipple Slip|Oscars

2009

24

Feb

Some Useless Making Da Band Sex Tape of the Day

Here’s a cry for another 15 minutes if I’ve ever seen one. This Makin’ Da Band member named Chopper City got caught in a threesome with 2 girls. I have no idea who this dude is, I do know this sex tape sucks, but I figured I’d post it anyway, because I like supporting all things related to trying to get exposure by fucking on camera, even if you do things stupid, black and white and from garbage fucking angles, it’s still a sex tape being released in hopes getting some Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson, Kardashian success, when the only success they’ll really get is successfully making a fool of themselves and successfully getting rejected from all future jobs at Burger King after the district manager google searches motherfucker’s name.

Posted in:Chopper City|Makin' Da Band|Sex Tape

2009

24

Feb

Slumdog Millionaire’s Freida Pinto Slutty for Complex Magazine of the Day

Leave it up to America to take a wholesome, naturally beautiful, Indian girl and get her to take off her clothes to show our culture what she’s been hiding in her colorful silk dress, to get it into their heads that she’s worth masturbating to or some shit that really doesn’t matter, because she’s done it, it’s too late for her, she’s tainted and I guess I should be lovin’ it because I am lovin’ her right now, but kinda feel like I did when I found out my high school sweetheart wasn’t a virgin last year when I first got with her.

That said, I saw Slumdog Millionaire last night because I felt obligated to. I wasn’t surprised to see a girl he’s been chasing all his fucking life come out of the woodwork when he was slated to win 20,000,000 rupees. All bitches seem to be nothin’ but gold diggers. Good thing I don’t have to worry about any of that shit, you know….since I am poor. At least I know who my real friends are…I mean…if I had real friends…


To See the Rest of the Pictures and Read the Interview You Gotta Follow This Link….
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Posted in:Complex|Freida Pinto|Slumdog Millionaire|Slutty

2009

24

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I’ve been getting a lot of hate mail lately. Apparently the site isn’t as good as it used to be. Apparently I’ve lost my touch. I was thinking about going into my archives to see what all 3 of these people were trying to say, but then I remembered that my site was never good and I never had any sort of touch that didn’t get me in trouble, but I do have links and here they are, and in future keep your criticism to yourself, you just get me down.

Mondays Don’t Have to Be All Bad When You Can Get Help Jerking Off….
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Nicky Hilton Has Her Head So Far Up Her Ass It’s Astonishing
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Which Celebrity Drunk Are You?
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Point of View While Deep Inside a Hot Girl
Because I Know You Have Never Been Inside a Hot Girl
Or Any Girl for that Matter
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30 Movies in 2 Minutes
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Because Finding What Suits Your Fetish Isn’t Always Easy
GO

Wanna See Jordan’s Disgusting Implant Scars?
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Wall Street Fight Makes a Wall Street Even I Enjoy
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Attached at the Crotch Seems Like Good Times I Think
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Wife Versus The Desert Eagle
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The REAL Uses for Things You Pack On a Trip to Vegas
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Sophia Loren is Still Totally Bangable
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Striptease of the Day
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AnnaLynne McCord REALLY Likes that Vibrator
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Sharon Stone Does a Grandma See Through, That Isn’t Hot, But It’s Something
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Gisele Bundchen Parties at Carnival
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Rose McGowen is Pretty Disgusting Even With a Mask On
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WTF Did Alicia Keys Do to Her Hair?
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Because You Couldn’t Find a Girlfriend Even If the Slut Was Sitting On Your Face
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Some Hilary Duff Because I Know You Like Horses and Are Into Beastiality
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Paris Hilton Tops the Razzies
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Some Mardi Gras Insanity
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Slut Can Flex It Out
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Homeless Bike Jump Goes Very Wrong
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Tessa West Gets Her Masterbate On
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Dogs Hates Fireworks, and Also Hates Ass
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Pee and Pleasure?
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Kids Handbook For Sex is Pretty Amazing
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Sex Doesn’t Have to Be a Solo Expedition
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Nicole Richie is Ready to Ruin Her Vagina Yet Again
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Driving on Salvia Will Probably Kill You
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Myleene Klass is Pretty Much Topless
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Beatrice is Bountiful
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Lindsay Lohan is Starting a Spray Tan and Diamond Line Because Her Career is Pretty Much Over
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Jose Canseco is Still Alive and He Has Some Smoking Bitches With Him. Literally
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Playing Chess With Shay Laren
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Ryan Seacrest Interviews the Kids From Slumdog Millionaire and Fails Epic Proportions
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Kim Kardashian Has Cleveage
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Chris Cornell Looks Almost as Bad as I Do
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I Can’t Accurately Explain This, So Just Watch And Laugh, Okay?
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Mystery Meat – You Guess
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Wanda Sykes is the Kind of Butchy Lesbian You Can’t Help But Like
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Drug Induced Television Let’s Us None Drug Users Live the Life Vicariously
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Mickey Rourke’s Acceptance Speech to End All Acceptance Speeches
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1 Guy, 2 Spoons
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Paris Hilton’s Dog Shits on a Couple Former Amazing Race Contestants
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Lance Armstrong Gets Chased By a Nutter
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Drunken Cunts Worth Fucking
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

23

Feb

Lindsay Lohan in Some Topless and Hungry Pics of the Day

The photographer’s name is Hedi Slimane, I didn’t check out her site for her other work and I’m not too well versed in fashion photographer so I am not too sure if this she’s into doing concentration camp themed photoshoots or if taking pictures of dying patients in palliative care with Cancer or Aids, or even spending time on the streets with drug addicted heroin addicts sucking dick for their next fix, is her artistic vision, but I do know that Lohan, despite being topless looks like fucking shit. She’s the kind of skinny I don’t like and I am pretty understanding and accepting when it comes to skinny. I mean I’ve always been a fan of eating disorders and drug addiction, but something about Lohan just looks fucking wrong.

I understand why she’s crazy, why she’s delusional, why she’s gone out of her way to start beef with me, why she tells people I stalk her. It’s all because she’s not eating much more than Ronson’s pussy and a pile of heroin because I think this is much deeper an issue than just cocaine. She is going to die soon. I can tell.

It’s all part of her Heath Ledger strategy to get recognized as an actress, because she’s fucking crazy and hopes to be remembered because the world already forgets her and her great performances in movies like Herbie Fully Loaded. Let’s face it, she’s a fucking joke and if you were her, you’d be on drugs too.

Here are those pics.

That said, nice nipple.

On a side note – I love Twitter and sent this link, along with this message to Mike Lohan….


FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

Posted in:Drug Addicted|Lindsay Lohan

2009

23

Feb

George Hamilton’s Man Purse Doesn’t Distract Me From His Wife’s Nipples of the Day

Supertan George Hamilton, someone who I am not entirely sure what he does beyond tanning, was seen out with his man purse and the paparazzi thought that was a great story, what they forgot to mention was his braless wife and her floppy fucking tits with her hard nipples, because shit may not be as hot as a jacked up tanning bed in your bedroom, or even as hot as skin cancer, but it’s pretty fucking close to me.

Posted in:George Hamilton|Man Purse|Nipples

2009

23

Feb

Three Irrelevant Sluts of the Day

I had these three posts lined up and when looking at the pictures I realized I had nothing interesting to say about these sluts, because they are all pretty fucking irrelevant. One is some Chinese rich kid who has been in Playboy and has managed to have nipple slips at every single event she’s attended and I never really understood why she was even attending the events in the first place.

The other is a washed up child star who is pretending to be a lesbian while addicted to coke, delusional and looking more and more like she’s about to die as the days go on, but her tits manage to stay the same size because I guess they were right all along and she’s got implants, because it really is the only explanation. She’s been in two movies the last 3 years, her career is almost over and I guess she got a sympathy invite to some Oscar party because she’s still got celebrity, despite really only deserving AIDS.

The last is some Aussie with great tits, who has hard nipples, but who can’t be acknowledged as someone I want to fuck because she was engaged to a Good Charlotte brother because I guess in Australia, they were stars and she was a groupie even he didn’t respect enough to not cheat on. Meaning that she wasn’t even good enough for him and lets face it, he’s not really good enough for any vagina, not even fat chick vagina, that said, I’d still fuck her, but I would never respect her and I guess either will Hollywood because I haven’t seen her in anything worth seeing recently, may be a good time to head back to the Outback…but she did have a date with Russell Simmons this past weekend, so who knows…maybe I am wrong about this one…

And here are their pictures, because I am lazy and not gonna let good cropping and uploading go to fucking waste. Enjoy.

Sophie Monk….

Lindsay Lohan….

Posted in:Bai Ling|Irrelevant Sluts|Lindsay Lohan|Sophie Monk

2009

23

Feb

Frieda Pinto Wears Her Oscar Pass of the Day

I love how this Slumdog Millionaire Indian chick is walking around with her Oscar all access pass or whatever the fuck that laminate is.

It’s like she knows that no one in Hollywood really has any idea who she is, despite being in the Picture of the Year and being pretty hot, because Hollywood is racist and assume if you’re brown you’re either part of the cleaning crew, there to set up, deliver food, sell beer at their convenience store or offer outsourced tech support for all major American brands and don’t really belong in front of the camera or on the red carpet.

Posted in:Frieda Pinto|Oscars