I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

02

Dec

Paris Hilton’s Push Up Bra Magic of the Day

The single Paris Hilton is really out on the prowl, you know with wearing latex every chance she gets, trying to convince us that she’s this outrageous fuck, but like every slut who dresses like she’s in some kind fetish club chained to a fucking wall getting gang raped, she’s just fronting for the laziness that we’ve all seen and know, because she’s the kind of girl who loves herself so much, that she thinks just being present while getting slammed is enough fucking effort in making the sex a good experience. The truth is, a lot of people have taken her on a ride, but just because she’s got herpes, doesn’t mean she knew what she was doing when getting it, like this dumb bitch I know who got drunk and let her first boyfriend go down on her when he had a coldsore, not realizing that coldsores are fucking herpes and can scab your shit up and was now tainted and still a fucking virgin and who didn’t get it by being strapped to a fucking wall getting gang raped, like a real sexual liberated deviant who earned her herpes would.

Either way, she’s really got some skills in making her tits look bigger than they actually are and I guess that should count for something, even if that something is trickery that pisses me the fuck off because I like knowing what I am getting myself into, even if it’s in my imagination, because I’d never fuck Paris Hilton, mainly because she’d never fuck me, but also because it’d end up being a story that inspires an episode of CSI, because I hate her and hate fucking usually ends up in a crime scene, and I’d just plead self defense, cuz that pussy is a biological weapon.

Posted in:cleavage|Paris Hilton|Push Up Bra|Tits

2008

02

Dec

Melinda Messenger’s Got Some Big Tits of the Day

This is some broken down UK slag, with the face a Thai discount plastic surgeon used to leaving surgical tools in patients would be proud of. She’s only in her late 30s, but still manages to look like the 50 year old rich mom’s with 75 year old husbands and 20 year old daughters, who spend their days getting their hair done while wearing their daughters’ slutty clothes and doing their daughters’ coke, while trying their hardest to get with their daughters’ male friends, because they can’t handle their husbands’ old limp dicks and hate themselves for leaving the party life at 30, to enter the fairy tale family life for security and because everyone around them told them it’d be a good opportunity. The good old days were their 20s, when they worked the dancefloor at the disco they worked at, fucking like there wasn’t a care in the world, being passed around like the whores that they are, before being swept off their feet by a doctor or lawyer who pursued them because they never had a girlfriend and were too busy making enough money to sway any desperate, money hungry slut with not direction to become their wife and baby mommas.

Either way, her cleavage is pretty insane. I wonder how many CCs she’s got in there.

Posted in:Melinda Messenger|Tits

2008

02

Dec

Beyonce’s Hairy Armpits of the Day

Beyonce’s been too busy competing with Rihanna to take care of the little things in life like hygeiene. When looking at the neglect she’s given to her pits, I am reminded of this hairy little troll of a girl I used to bang. It didn’t end well, but for the week that we dated, I did everything I could to get her to just shave her fucking armpits. I used to tease her and tell her that Richard Nixon’s not in fucking office, we’re not protesting a war and trying our best to be as liberated as we can by having unprotected sex with strangers, but we shoudl be, so the only excuse for this hippie bullshit is laziness. I even brought her a razor on our third date and that’s pretty much when the dating ended, I guess I wasn’t so discreet about my disgust, but trying to find her vagina hole was like a fucking South American safari adventure through the fuckin’ Amazon, only instead of dealing with getting attacked by deadly snakes and tribes peopel, I was forced to deal with a hairy mess with a rancid smell of dead fish, and really wasn’t surprised considering the condition of her arm pits.

That said, a girls arm pit condition is the window to her vagina maintenence and Beyonce’s pussy is obviously the real reason Jay-Z’s moved onto Rihanna.

Posted in:Armpits|Beyonce|Hairy

2008

02

Dec

Hayley Marie Norman’s Tits of the Day


haley marie norman in crash by mrstrongback

Her name is Hayley Marie Norman and I know pretty much nothing about her, other than watching her take a shower reminds me of the days I used to jerk off to National Geographic. Now I am not sure if that is racist, but it’s not meant to be, it’s meant to imply that those titties look like they’re straight from the tribe and have never seen a bra before, but have seen a lot of breast feeding in her 24 years and I’d say the same thing if she was white. If anything, she’s just perpetuating stereotypes, like this black neighbor I have who is lazy, smokes pot all day and tries to bang fat white chicks, or the Chinese guy I met the other day who owns a restaurant and likes computers, or the Jewish guy who has a big nose and doesn’t like tipping, so don’t hate me for saying it, hate her for living it.

Before getting married, I used to hate seeing nipples aim to the ground, but have since got over it because most tits that sag are hotter than the tits I’ve been milking the last 8 years and that’s the end of this post.

Posted in:Hayley Marie Norman|Tits

2008

02

Dec

From the stepFORUM of the Day

So I am emailing this to random girls on facebook

I am setting up a site that sells used panties to Japanese people, but it just doesn’t seem like it will ever happen because I don’t have any money to invest…I guess we’re all allowed to have dreams…it’s what keeps us going….but if you feel like sending me your dirty underwear, I think we could really make magic. Let me know.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

It hasn’t really worked out for me, but here’s a whole lot of shit going on in the stepFORUM that will probably work out for you.

Register NOW….DO IT!
GO

———Celebs———

HOT! – Kitty Lea Nuts August ’08 (NSFW)
GO

HOT – The sexiest calendars of 2009 Nuts mag (NSFW)
GO

Katy Perry Looking Good In a Greg Delman Photoshoot
GO

HOT – Keeley Hazel – FHM Thanksgiving Photoshoot (SFW)
GO

Lindsay Lohan Matt Jones Photoshoot Outtakes For iD Magazine
GO

Gemma Atkinson Racey Archibald Photoshoot
GO

HOT – Ria Antoniou Greek Esquire November ’08 (SFW)
GO

Amanda Brooks @ Rock The Vote Host
GO

Marilyn Monroe – Douglas Kirkland Photoshoot (1961)
GO

Natasha Henstridge @ 2008 Gemini Awards
GO

———Music———

Coldplay – Viva La Vida (Prospekt’s March Edition)
GO

Tesla – Replugged Live
GO

Gray Matters – Intelligent Decline
GO

Ted Nugent – Out of Control
GO

This Will Destroy You
GO

Pulp – Freaks
GO

Leonard Cohen – The Future
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Mussorgsky – Night on the Bare Mountain
GO

Ricky Martin – 17
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The Sounds- Living In America
GO

Pulp – The Peel Sessions
GO

Barbra Streisand – A Happening In Central Park
GO

Glasvegas – A Snowflake Fell
GO

A Rocket to the Moon – Summer 07 EP
GO

Atmosphere – Seven’s Travels
GO

———Random——–

Pic That Makes You Say WTF?! (NSFW)
GO

Funny GIFs
GO

The 15 Most Promiscuous Countries
GO

Mary Kate Has Talents
GO

You Would Look Good in This Hat
GO

———Movies and TV———

College (2008) DVDRiP
GO

The IT Crowd – Season 3
GO

Planet Terror
GO

Fringe – The Dreamscape
GO

Reaper Season 1
GO

Facing The Giants
GO

Loss 2008 DVDRip
GO

Deadwood Season 3
GO

———Sleaziness———

Megan- Fucked Hard 18
GO

Socal Coeds, Naughty MegaThread
GO

2 shy Russian girls
GO

Mandi Doing Bad Stuff on Try Teens
GO

Brunette tied to the wall
GO

Young and Busty
GO

Envy with Mandingo Up Her Ass!
GO

Leah & Marcus in “Sweet Spunk”
GO

———Screening Room———

Thats NOT my Wife!!
GO

Egg Nog Champion-might make you puke!
GO

MADtv Sex Education
GO

YouTube Challengers Users to Make a ‘Good’ Video
GO

Posted in:stepFORUM

2008

02

Dec

Jessica Alba for Campari of the Day

As an alcoholic, I’ve made it a point to try as many types of booze as possible. You know, if I was working landscaping or doing construction on houses I’d always manage to find the liquor cabinet to sneak a swig or two to get me through the day while pretending I was lost lookin’ for the bathroom. Drinking on the job never got me fired, but being caught stealing booze has, and I think it’s been worth it.

From what I remember, Campari is some rich person grapefruit drink, that you’d need to either have a vag or treat you ass like it was a vag to really appreciate and in my time drinking, I have never heard anyone order the shit, but then again, I only go out in places that only sell vodka, rum, whiskey and beer, but I like to assume that with the economic crisis, people have cut back on these fruity drinks, and are spending their hard earned borrowed money on drinks that actually kill the pain. At least that would explain why they got Alba to be the spokesperson for the shit, because we all know she’s desperate for work and exposure since her baby making fiasco, and I am sure they got her on a fucking discount.

I guess it’s nice to see her getting work, you know since she’s pretty much ruined herself and I was convinced this pregnancy was going to be the end of her, not that doing a photoshoot for some alcohol company is really getting work as an actor, not that she’s an actor, because she is more of a whore milking out a name she created for herself by having tits than a true artist who values her craft and protects the name she’s created for herself. As long as you’ve got you checkbook out, she’ll be there, probably because she’s only got a small window of opportunity, and you might as well take what you get, at least that’s what I told myself when I married my disgusting wife, I figure, who needs dignity, when you can have free rent.

Posted in:Campari|Jessica Alba|Tits

2008

02

Dec

Helen Mirren’s Hot Ass on the Beach of the Day

I made the mistake of going to an old folk’s home for lunch the other day, because my friend hates spending time with his crazy mother and because I like free food and the opportunity to meet some decent old widows who have enough money to support me, like I was Anna Nicole Smith or some shit.

I worked in a ghetto Old Folk’s home many years ago, cleaning up old person shit and piss but never made it into the dining room to hang out with the Old people, I didn’t pass the psych test, so I wasn’t allowed to be near the residents, so I figured I was working my way up the ranks of society.

For some crazy reason, I didn’t think about the shit hole I worked at, because I assumed the government shut those fuckers down, but instead imagined some classy old person retirement community you’d see in Florida, where they ride around in golf carts and fuck each other because there’s really no reason not to, since they are all about to die and don’t really have much else to fill their days.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t this happy place you see on the commercials, but a place that smelled of death, where people were being carted around in their wheelchairs, where I’d hear screams of pain from the hallways and where the staff looked suicidal.

I walked to the dining room, where these women ran to me, probably trying to get me to help them escape and I’ll admit, I felt like a star, and liked the attention unfortunately, they were all grey skinned, their dentures on the table while eating Oatmeal and I almost lost my appetite.

I saw a tit fall out of it’s nightgown, I saw a woman who pissed herself getting her diaper changed, I had great conversations with what seemed like insane people, I was flirted with, in a way that only a lonely woman on her deathbed who had a few strokes but who wants one last cock would, and realized that despite the dryness, old pussy is amazing. So I ate my free sandwich and plan on going back next week, maybe I’ll even organize an Old Folk’s home tour, because they don’t seem to have any standards, and that’s something that works for me…

Here’s Helen Mirren in her bikini, showing off her hot body to celebrate my new love for grandmas.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Helen Mirren|old

2008

02

Dec

Britney Spears “Rocks” GMA of the Day

Britney Spears proves that after you have a spoiled rich kid tantrum that leaves you a mother of two paying some deadbeat to golf and party for the rest of his life, after shaving your head, giving up on yourself and pretty much almost killing yourself while the world watches, because you’re so dramatic and you take yourself too fucking seriously, even though you don’t even know what seriously means, you can easily pull it all together with a multi-million dollar team of PR people, record producers, personal trainers and marketing, so that within a year, you can have a best selling album, because everyone wants to support you, because they saw you turn your life around and feel like they are along for the fuckin ride, even though she’s got no talent, her lead single is shit and she’s pretty much past her fuckin’ prime.

Happy Birthday Britney, I think the world’s given you a pretty good birthday gift, because let’s face it you’re pretty much done, or at least you should be.

Posted in:Britney Spears|GMA|Womanzier

2008

02

Dec

Nicole Richie’s Mom Ass in Leggings of the Day

So Nicole Richie brought her ass out in a pair of leggings and I really can’t figure out what I think about it. She looks like a troll or Ashlee Simpson and DJ AM once told me that her pussy looks like a corpse, but in all fairness to her pussy, he did tell me that in a dream I had of him trying to kill himself and failing, and he didn’t tell me that in person, so maybe I just made that shit up and her pussy is some kind magical place that men who suck off their twin brothers call home and destroy with a baby, in hopes of it morphing into something that looks more like the empty ball sack he used to diddle.

Point of the story is……who really gives a shit? She had no business being famous in the first place, based on having no talent and being pretty fucking ugly….and she has no business being famous now. Her biological parents had the right idea and got rid of her when she was a baby, we should take their lead.

Posted in:Ass|Leggings|Nicole Richie

2008

02

Dec

Shalom Harlow Naked in Some Magazine of the Day

Her name is Shalom Harlow and she is Canadian, not Jewish, so you anti-semetic people can jerk off to these pictures of her bush without feeling like you’re going against your cause, unless you cause is hating Canadians or girls with bush, in which case, you may want to ignore this post, but I’m just throwing that out there because, that because I hate fashion and art to get girls naked and I prefer drug addiction and daddy issues. Seriously, if the girl doesn’t have tht glimmer of fear, shame and depression/desperation in her eye, I just can’t get hard for her.

Posted in:Naked|Shalom Harlow

2008

02

Dec

Avril Lavigne Doesn’t Like Fat Creepy Guys of the Day

Some weird guy who probably reads this site chased Avril Lavigne for a picture. He doesn’t have a heart atttack while she runs from him, and him after her, but it is the reason she should realize she’s not suburban punk rock enough to fend for herself. She’s fucking Hollywood and needs a fucking bodyguard, because there are at least 20 guys out there who are obsessed with her, who think of her as a dream girl and who may even think they are married to her, but she just doesn’t know it yet and they save their disability checks, or minimum wage checks to get down to LA and let her know that they are the one. This shit is hardly scary, dude should have at least tried to grab a tit or finger bang her, she totally overreacts, but that’s just cuz she’s a fluffy little celebrity and not the street punk I know who would bite that fucker’s dick off if he tried to get in her face.

The paparazzi did an honorable job defending her, you know videotaping the shit, instead of telling the motherfucker to back off, because it’s more fun to see creepy guys grab at her than defend them from the creepy dudes, I probably wouldn’t have stepped in, it’s not like Avril would help me if she saw me getting harassed.

The only tragedy in all this is that he didn’t throw her in his fuckin’ van and drive away with her, turning her into some brainwashed sex slave, because I hate her.

Posted in:Avril Lavigne|Punk|stalker

2008

02

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

Before I got married, I wanted to have more than one wife. So that when one was out, I’d have another one to fuck, but after getting married, I realized why prostitution exists, you don’t have to deal with any of the headaches of listening to them talk. I didn’t end up fucking a whore this weekend, but I should have. Instead, I tried to convince girls on the internet to send me nudes, hoping thanksgiving was making them feel lonely, I did watch porn, I didn’t go to any bars, but I did eat Caribbean food, because I figured black people are poor and that shit is affordable. I didn’t celebrate Anna Nicole’s birthday and I didn’t jerk off to Miley Cyrus on a Macy’s Thanksgiving float because she looks retarded. I didn’t watch the Britney Documentary, but I did hear her song on the radio and I have I barely dranks, but still manage to forget everything I came across. I did ask a random 17 year old if she has a nipple ring and I did try to grab at her to see if she was lying when she said no, I didn’t get arrested for it, but I probably should have. I am writing too much about nothing but I did go through my emails though and here are my all my links….click them.

Sluts Have Nothing Better to do and Neither Do You
GO

Britney Spears Father is the Scariest Man Alive
GO

Snowboarder Gets Caught in the Wind – VIDEO
GO

The Hottest Slutty Calendars of 2009
GO

Katy Perry is Not Funny. Or Hot. Or a Good Singer. Or Interesting.
Why is This Fucking Bitch Famous?
GO

Anna Freil Upskirt is Which She May or May Not Be Wearing Panties
GO

I’m Pretty Sure Lucy Pinder Spends More Time Naked Than Clothed
GO

Alessandra Ambrosia is in Lingerie, As Always
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

No One is Superior to Hercules
GO

A Tribute to Mrs. Clause
GO

Dry That Beaver!
GO

Courtney Love Defends Doing Drugs While She Was Pregnant
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If the US is in a Recession, Nobody Told John Travolta
GO

Do YOU Know Your Hip Hop Lingo?
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Weight Lifter Nut Shot
GO

A Good Ol’ Red Neck Wedding
GO

Enough With You Sluts Having Babies
GO

Accidents Make Me Smile
GO

Youngin’ Gets His Pimp On
GO

Being a Soccer Fan Isn’t Easy
GO

Sandy Summers Plays Peek a Boo
GO

Girl Makes a Cucumber Salad, With a Special Dressing
GO

David Spade is the Father of the Year
GO

I Hate to Break It To You Rickie, But You’re Still Fucking Fat
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Imogen Thomas Has a Huge Fucking Rack
GO

Now Here’s an Anniversary Worth Celebrating
GO

Queef Competition
GO

Emo Girls Make Out
GO

Shauna Sand is Fucking Disgusting
GO

Girl on Girl Massage
GO

I Think You’ll Enjoy Sophie As Much As I Do
GO

Aubrey O’Day Helps Out Poor People
GO

Winona Ryder Has Sticky Fingers
GO

This Guy is Drunken Than I Am
GO

Cat Loves Yoga Instructor
GO

Blake Civil Fielder States the Obvious
GO

Girl on Girl
GO

Remove a Bra with One Hand
GO

Elephant Sex Rampage
GO

40 Greatest Lost Icons in History
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3 Crazy Isreali GIrls Drunk in a Club
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Some Chick Named Belinda Taking Off Her Tits on Webcam
GO

Some Ass Tattoos
GO

Some Girl Playing Dance Dance Revolution in a Bra
GO

Her Name is Danni Wells and This is Her Topless Calendar
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Chick, Her Big Tits, In Some Staged Pics
GO

Some Canadian with Big Tits
GO

BONUS VIDEO – I HAVE HUGE NIPPLES

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

01

Dec

Nikolina Pisek Topless Cellphone Pictures of the Day

Her name is Nikolina Pisek and here she is some Croatian celebrity in some topless cellphone pictures.

Like most Croatians, she probably has a penis, is part of some circus and can kill a man in under 3 seconds, but she’s the good kind of Croatian with a penis, because she’s gone so far as to get the wonkiest set of fake tits the communist empire provides.

Sure she’s got a tight body, but that’s just because she’s on a rationed food diet and sure she’s got some frily lingerie, but that’s only because she is a master of the sewing machine, thanks to communist working mentality that made most of her life spent manning the needle and thread making communist uniforms and bed sheets, but luckily as communism fell, so did her need to repress her biggest want and that was to tuck in that penis and become eastern european whore that she is.

Those communists have sure gone a long way and the real impressing thing in these pictures is the fact that they exist, because I thought they only had nuclear technology and not cell phone technology, which has a way better signal than the messenger pigeons and two empty cans on a string they used up until the brought down communism, but the quality of these pictures, like their living conditions, are shit.

Posted in:Cellphone Pictures|Nikolina Pisek|Topless

2008

01

Dec

Youtube Video of the Day

This is an old video of a girl with a mesh top and nipple tape riding a pool toy was just sent to me, and since I know some of you have some obscure fetishes, I figured I’d post it. This may not be as exciting for you as the times you hang outside the local pool watching the preschool kids on their water noodles and arm floaties, but it’s a little more legal, a lot less creepy, and not going to ghet you locked up and killed like you deserve, despite still managing to be pretty fucking weird.

Bonus – Another Pool Toy Hump

Posted in:Video|Youtube

2008

01

Dec

From the stepFORUM of the Day

I wasn’t up to anything this weekend, proven by the fact that I have nothing to write about today, but luckily the stepFORUM’s got my back. Here’s a whole lot of shit to keep yourself entertained, when I try to figure out whether I’ve had a stroke or not, because I can’t think of anything besides crawlin back into bed.

Register to See Everything and Get Invloved!
GO

———Celebs———

HOT – Eve Wyrwal & Friends in Nuts Mag (NSFW)
GO

HOT – Tanya Robinson and Kayleigh – Nuts Mag (NSFW)
GO

HOT! – Ines Sainz in Hombre Magazine May08 (SFW)
GO

HOT – Miranda Kerr and 9 other models Topless (NSFW)
GO

Britney Spears in EIKONES Greek Magazine
GO

Kate Beckinsale Gorgeous @ Nothing But the Truth screening
GO

HOT – Liis Lass – FHM Estonia (SFW)
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio Backstage @ Victoria’s Secret FS
GO

Paris Hilton – Launches her new fragrance
GO

Vanessa Upton At Memorabilia UK
GO

Ashley Tisdale “Not Like That” Video Stills
GO

HOT – Claire Cooper – “Love Hotel” Loaded Mag (SFW)
GO

Selena Gomez Looking Almost Legal
GO

HOT – Ana Claudia Michels (NSFW…some tit)
GO

Winner of Germanys Next Topmodel Topless on the Runway (NSFW)
GO

HOT – Flavia de Oliveira – Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
GO

HOT – Abigail Clancy – FHM – December 2008 (SFW)
GO

Anne Hathaway (see through top) & Lindsay Lohan
GO

HOT!! – Hannah Kay Topless @ Unknown Photoshoot (NSFW)
GO

Britney Spears looking hor @ Cliff Watts photoshoot
GO

HOT – Holly Valance – FHM Germany (SFW)
GO

HOT!! – Sophie Howard & Rosie Jones (NSFW)
GO

Nikki Reed – Late Night with Conan O’Brien
GO

———Music———

Guns’n Roses – Chinese Democracy
GO

Nickeback – Dark Horse
GO

Jazzanova
GO

Glasvegas – Glasvegas
GO

Funky House Classics Volume 4
GO

Linkin Park – Songs from the Underground
GO

Natalie Walker – With You
GO

Motown 50!
GO

The Last Shadow Puppets
GO

Exit Music: Songs With Radio Head
GO

BB King – One Kind Favor (2008)
GO

———Random———

Yo dawg, so i herd you like Pikachus…
GO

REAL girls (some NSFW)
GO

Funny GIFs (56k need not apply)
GO

———Movies and TV Shows———

Surveillance
GO

Righteous.Kill.DVDRip
GO

Saw V
GO

Transporter 3
GO

Death Proof
GO

Kemper
GO

———Sleaziness———

Socal Coeds, Naughty MegaThread
GO

Some Random Goodness
GO

Tushy Licker!
GO

Asssssssss!
GO

Sean’s Random Cuties
GO

Big Tits…HUGE Facial!
GO

Glory Hole Girls
GO

Super Cute Co-Ed
GO

Nici Sterling – Rainwoman 13
GO

———Screening Room———

Jimmy Kimmel visits a black barbershop to Talk About Obama
GO

Black Dynamite!!
GO

Rare squid ‘with elbows’ caught on camera
GO

———Audio Books———

Anthony Burgess – A Clockwork Orange
GO

I Can Make You Thin – Paul McKenna
GO

Posted in:stepFORUM