I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

16

Mar

I am – The Reason Lohan is Fat of the Day

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Lohan is fatter than ever because Lohan has replaced drinking and drugs with coffee and donuts. She is living an American white trash dream, she just needs to throw some soap operas, a trailer and a husband that beats her and this classy slag will be you.

The only reason this picture makes me sick to my stomach is that the first 2 years of my marriage, I’d watch my wife eat a donut a day and anytime I did something I shouldn’t have done, like drink all night, or expose myself to teenage girls on the bus, or have sex with a hooker after a 3 day meth binge forgetting to call home and tell the family where I was, I’d just come home with a couple dozen donuts and bitch would eat that shit up and be too jacked on sugar and fried dough to give me shit for being me….

I can’t dis Lohan for being Lohan, we’re connected at the soul and I am still expecting a callback from all the messages I’ve sent her over the last 6 months. I still have hope.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, I used to call Lohan and leave voicemail messages hoping she’d issue a restraining order so that I’d end up on Access Hollywood. You can see some of the by Clicking This Link

I just did a total blogger move, and I feel like a useless virgin who never leaves his house for fear of people knowing I am a virgin….yes…I feel like you…CUDDLES.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

16

Mar

I am – Nazanin Boniadi See Thru of the Day

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Here are some pictures of some slut who isn’t wearing a bra rockin’ a bit of a see-thru shirt which is good enough to get posted on this site, even though I have no ideal who this bitch is, other than her name confuses me to type and threw off my whole train of thought.

I am used to my train of thought being thrown off, partially because I am ADD and not in the Nicole Richie medicated way, but in the way that my brain feels like a puddle of fucking puke from drinking too much for my liver to handle…maybe I should have stopped drinking years ago, but if I did I wouldn’t be here typing this for you, I’d be working in Middle Management, answering my emails from my Blackberry while lying in bed with my wife that I love in our suburban home…Instead, I hate my fat wife and she’s destroyed me as a man by taking away my ability to have an erection….

Being impotent has made me want to rock Viagra for the last couple of years. I know it’s something people are doing recreationally while jacked-up on coke, but I never did it and the thought of having a raging boner for 6 hours is amazing, but know that my penis is broken from emotional trauma of witnessing my wife’s vagina and it’s not because my prostate is the size of a grapefruit… I do remember as a teenager I’d get hard watching the Brady Bunch or even riding my fucking bike and now the fear of getting hard because of the risk of having her 400 lbs mount me like I was her moterized fat person scooter is enough to turn me into a gimp….

At least it makes me less threatening when I follow girls down dark alleys.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

16

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton's Mysterious Stain of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton with some stain on her dress, it’s obviously not some dude’s nut on her, because nobody has a load like that, not even the kind of guy who would let this bitch with herpes at his dick. It’s just an easy joke waiting to happen and I’ll leave it up to the other blogs because today I have decided I like Paris because Paris fucks and not enough girls let random men up in them, at least not enough girls I know.

That said, I wish more girls were whores like Paris. I remember when I was about 18 before I found the right kind of women who actually liked to have guys cum on their faces, I was hanging with some prude religious bitch who I thought wouldn’t be a prude because all the fucking bible shit parents feed their tight little school girls usually means the girl’s got no limits like the one I met later in life who would only fuck me after I pulled an exorcist on her and shoved a Virgin Mary statue in her box. She’d always tell me about how her mother gave it to her on her communion and that shit was pretty fucking twisted but not as twisted as my dick after the prude Christian started dry fucking me with a pair of cords on. I am telling you that this girl had a high school, pants-on rule and those fucking brown cords were not coming off. I don’t know if you have ever had had a girl in brown cords grind your cock, but my shit was fucking ripped up for a month and while other people were getting blowjobs, I was tending to an infected cock…What I wouldn’t give to have those days back again…that’s how much my life sucks…

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

16

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton’s Mysterious Stain of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton with some stain on her dress, it’s obviously not some dude’s nut on her, because nobody has a load like that, not even the kind of guy who would let this bitch with herpes at his dick. It’s just an easy joke waiting to happen and I’ll leave it up to the other blogs because today I have decided I like Paris because Paris fucks and not enough girls let random men up in them, at least not enough girls I know.

That said, I wish more girls were whores like Paris. I remember when I was about 18 before I found the right kind of women who actually liked to have guys cum on their faces, I was hanging with some prude religious bitch who I thought wouldn’t be a prude because all the fucking bible shit parents feed their tight little school girls usually means the girl’s got no limits like the one I met later in life who would only fuck me after I pulled an exorcist on her and shoved a Virgin Mary statue in her box. She’d always tell me about how her mother gave it to her on her communion and that shit was pretty fucking twisted but not as twisted as my dick after the prude Christian started dry fucking me with a pair of cords on. I am telling you that this girl had a high school, pants-on rule and those fucking brown cords were not coming off. I don’t know if you have ever had had a girl in brown cords grind your cock, but my shit was fucking ripped up for a month and while other people were getting blowjobs, I was tending to an infected cock…What I wouldn’t give to have those days back again…that’s how much my life sucks…

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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Some days I don’t actually sleep and I feel pretty beat-up. Today is one of those days. I went out to get some air because it smells in here and I am not about to clean and started talking to a girl who had only been drunk once in her life. I didn’t really understand it because I’ve been drunk for the last 20 years or so. I told her that she’d probably have a lot more fun if she drank, then she told me that she loves life and that she doesn’t need to drink so I said that there’s no fun in loving life, all the fun comes from being a jaded washed-up motherfucker. I also told her she’d be a lot hotter if she was drunk, or at least if I was drunk and she asked me to leave her store.

Here are some links for you to get through your night. Cuddles.

GIrl in Bra with Stupid Glasses
GO

Carmen Electra and Alison Sweeney Fall Down
GO

Slutty Girl Walking the Dog and Showing Her TIts
GO

Send Britney Spears a Get Well Soon Message, See Other People’s Messages, Good Fuckin’ Times
GO

Kelly Carlson Flashes her Ass
GO

Some Hot Czech Chick Posing All Naked and Shit
GO

Ron Jeremy Birthday Video
GO

Skinny Girl on the Beach in a Bikini in January VIdeo
GO

Crazy Hungarian Rapper
GO

Fleshflick – Mother – Daughter – Interracial Threesome
GO

Tila Tequila Cam Show
GO

3 Chicks in Beaters and Panties Makes Me Happy
GO

Keeley Hazell Topless in Malibu Video
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Fergie In Maxim
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Bitch Named Carmella Bing Posing and Stripping
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More Kimmy Stewart Sitll Ugly Pics
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WWE Diva’s Playboy Pillow Fight Video
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Japanese Man Gets Killed By A Whale He Was Trying to Save Video
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Hot Car Show Girls Video
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Lesbian Hipsters Pee Standing Up Video – AMAZING
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Some Gisele in a Bikini Pics I will Probably Post on Tonight
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Nicole Richie is Addicted to ADD Medication that Suppresses Appetites
GO

Steven Segal Singing Video
GO

Hot Cam Girl of the Day
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Go Hard or Go Home, VIdeo of People Doing Stupid Shit
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Argument Turns Into a Chick Fight
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Asian Girl Peeing in the Sink
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Gene WIlder Looks Ok for a 73 Year Old with Cancer
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Nasty Bitch Exposes her INSANELY HUGE Tit
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J-Lo Was Always Overrated, Here She is With Her Husband
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Some Fat Bitch Singing Like a Virgin
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Mam Pissing Through Her Pants
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Jessica Alba in a Bikini Comilation Video
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Some Boy Lookin’ Girl Drip Dryin on the Toilet
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart in Video
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Rachel McAdam’s Tits
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Girl Trying to Take a Shit Video
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Hot Adriana Lima in Her Underwear Pics
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Hey Pretty, You’re Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Girl Peeing at the Mall For Mikeyyyyy
GO

Lily Peeing On the Street While Drunk
GO

Girl Drinking a Corona Bottle Full of Piss
GO

Megan Fox Looks Hot
GO

Girls Peeing in the Dark While Drunk
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

2 Friends Beathing Each Other Up
GO

Help Hot Bitches Sunbathing Game I didn’t Play
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Drunk College Chicks on Stage
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Some Slut Named Ana Faris
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Kate Moss and Pete Doherty Pictures of the Day
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Hot Ass Sweetheart
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Daydreaming of a Public Pee of the Day

I think I have allergies because I live in a disgusting dirty apartment with an inch of shit on the floor, but not actual shit, this apartment has water. There was a time when I was living in an abandoned building with a couple of friends that had running water for the first 2 months we were there, but then the city cut us off and we were forced to shit in the corner. It wasn’t so bad at first because we’d cover it with newspaper like we were puppies, but the more people came over and crashed, the higher the pile got…the smell was pretty fucking sick, but drinking always made it go away….

Anyway, in this time of distress, I like to daydream about a man peeing in public, free from all conventions society imposes on us, like toilets and public washrooms…Sometimes it’s just nice to feel free….

What you don’t see in this video is when the guy goes fucking insane on us for taking his picture, he was threatening to kill me because I was invading his privacy and shit, too bad his dick was hangin out of his pants and he couldn’t really make a move, next time I’ll remember that and capture the shame in his eyes as he loses it on me. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Caprice's Box of the Day

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See, I am capable of making shitty blogger jokes too. I don’t always have to write paragraphs of stories and observations to bore you with. I hope you are happy people who have been complaining about my posts being too long. If you missed the joke, the title of this post is called Caprice’s Box. I remember when this slut was a hot fucking number. Her tits would be in every celebrities nude website I could get my hand on and I have to admit when times were tough I resorted to jerking off to her. It wasn’t really jerking off, it was more like raping myself, because my mind screamed no but my hand just went where it wanted. I don’t get boners anymore, so were cool. The closest thing I get to raping myself is when I shove my wives rolled quarters in my ass to smuggle them out of the house to buy cigars. Yes. I steal from my wife. Fuck you for judgin’ me…Asshole.

Posted in:Caprice|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Caprice’s Box of the Day

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See, I am capable of making shitty blogger jokes too. I don’t always have to write paragraphs of stories and observations to bore you with. I hope you are happy people who have been complaining about my posts being too long. If you missed the joke, the title of this post is called Caprice’s Box. I remember when this slut was a hot fucking number. Her tits would be in every celebrities nude website I could get my hand on and I have to admit when times were tough I resorted to jerking off to her. It wasn’t really jerking off, it was more like raping myself, because my mind screamed no but my hand just went where it wanted. I don’t get boners anymore, so were cool. The closest thing I get to raping myself is when I shove my wives rolled quarters in my ass to smuggle them out of the house to buy cigars. Yes. I steal from my wife. Fuck you for judgin’ me…Asshole.

Posted in:Caprice|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Taryn Manning's Bra of the Day

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The day I realized stepSTEVE was gay wasn’t when he changed his name to Stephen James, but when he was living on my couch and told me he found this bitch hot. I had never really heard of her because I have a short attention span and I am bad with names, but after doing a google image search I wouldn’t let him live this one down. I am the kind of guy who lacks creativity so if you give me one thing like telling me Taryn Manning is a hot celeb, or that you once experimented with your best friend when you were 13 at a sleepover, or that you once got caught jerking off in your mom’s bed with her panties on her face, I am going to keep throwin that shit at you…

Speaking of throwing shit our way, here is Taryn Manning’s bra or undershirt or some kind of layer of clothes between her tits and her sweater to get you through your shitty day. If you don’t remember who stepSTEVE is, he’s in most of my stepTV clips before her ditched me for dreams of playing bass. Now’s when you drop a joke about her lookin’ like a man and her name being manning cuz you are clever like that.

All this to say, at least she’s got whore boots on, because any girl with whore boots on, hot or not, is a girl for me…even if she looks like a tranny.

Posted in:Taryn Manning|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Taryn Manning’s Bra of the Day

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The day I realized stepSTEVE was gay wasn’t when he changed his name to Stephen James, but when he was living on my couch and told me he found this bitch hot. I had never really heard of her because I have a short attention span and I am bad with names, but after doing a google image search I wouldn’t let him live this one down. I am the kind of guy who lacks creativity so if you give me one thing like telling me Taryn Manning is a hot celeb, or that you once experimented with your best friend when you were 13 at a sleepover, or that you once got caught jerking off in your mom’s bed with her panties on her face, I am going to keep throwin that shit at you…

Speaking of throwing shit our way, here is Taryn Manning’s bra or undershirt or some kind of layer of clothes between her tits and her sweater to get you through your shitty day. If you don’t remember who stepSTEVE is, he’s in most of my stepTV clips before her ditched me for dreams of playing bass. Now’s when you drop a joke about her lookin’ like a man and her name being manning cuz you are clever like that.

All this to say, at least she’s got whore boots on, because any girl with whore boots on, hot or not, is a girl for me…even if she looks like a tranny.

Posted in:Taryn Manning|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – America's Next Top Models are Naked of the Day

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My stepdaughter is all up on this America’s Next Top model shit and so is every fag I come across in my day who says that shit is “Fierce”. I have never seen it because I don’t have a TV but I did have these pics from tonight’s show sent to me and they are naked and covered in candy, making it bass my loose editorial standards and getting a post of it’s very own….The thing that fascinates me most about these pics is that the 2 fatties on the show didn’t emotionally eat all the candy between shoots, I am guessing all the pressure of being naked on TV is enough to make them quit eating….

I was on my nightly walk to get away from the smell of my wife’s dirty laundry and came across a group of spring breakers who were obviously from Boston, cuz Montreal is where those fuckers come to drink underage and experience their first strip show. Anyway, the 4 chicks were a little more that plus sized and were rockin’ evening gowns like they were Paris Hilton going to Mr Chongs or whatever the fuck that LA hotspot is. While walking behind them all I could see was their pantyhose covered ass cheeks peaking out o their dresses and I thought of you. You would have totally fucked these whores and they would have let you, I guess part of your virginity comes with the fact that you are too scared to leave your house. I call that a lost opportunity….but at least you were on my mind…

Posted in:ANTM|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – America’s Next Top Models are Naked of the Day

antm_whitney.jpg

My stepdaughter is all up on this America’s Next Top model shit and so is every fag I come across in my day who says that shit is “Fierce”. I have never seen it because I don’t have a TV but I did have these pics from tonight’s show sent to me and they are naked and covered in candy, making it bass my loose editorial standards and getting a post of it’s very own….The thing that fascinates me most about these pics is that the 2 fatties on the show didn’t emotionally eat all the candy between shoots, I am guessing all the pressure of being naked on TV is enough to make them quit eating….

I was on my nightly walk to get away from the smell of my wife’s dirty laundry and came across a group of spring breakers who were obviously from Boston, cuz Montreal is where those fuckers come to drink underage and experience their first strip show. Anyway, the 4 chicks were a little more that plus sized and were rockin’ evening gowns like they were Paris Hilton going to Mr Chongs or whatever the fuck that LA hotspot is. While walking behind them all I could see was their pantyhose covered ass cheeks peaking out o their dresses and I thought of you. You would have totally fucked these whores and they would have let you, I guess part of your virginity comes with the fact that you are too scared to leave your house. I call that a lost opportunity….but at least you were on my mind…

Posted in:ANTM|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Uma Gets Wet of the Day

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Here’s some fetish shit, not because Uma is really all that hot, even if she’s got massive tits, but because she’s got a hose and is hosing herself down. It’s like watching a girl playing in the garden and jumping through the sprinklers on a hot summer day, and by girl I mean someone over 18, I am not into the whole pedophile shit. I never really understood why a dude could sit in a park watching kids play and like it more than he should but that’s really not the point, the point is that this shit is bringing back memories of when I worked at a gas station that hosted a car wash for the local college. All the bitches started off the day in their regular everyday car wash clothes and ended up in their bikinis hosing themselves down. I would say it changed my life for the better but in reality that day got me fired because I kept trying to get them to show me their tits and one of them filed a complaint about me to my manager. It was a good run and worth getting fired over because it was one of those things I probably could never forgive myself for not trying…

I was in a pizza place for some late night eats and 2 jewish kids came in after partying and kept talking about how they should have asked for the bitches they were picking ups’ number but didn’t. They will never see her again and their reward of the night is the chance to jerk off to the thought that they had picked them up, but if they lived my way, they may have got fired but at least they knew there was no fucking chance.

All this to say that Uma may not be a college chick in a bikini, but at least she’s trying…

Posted in:Uma Thurman|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Throwback Drew Barrymore Tit Flash of the Day

Drew Barrymore was only hot in once in her career and unfortunately that movie was E.T. and it dropped in 1980. Since then it has only been downhill for this piece of shit, but for some reason she keeps getting work like she was someone we’d want to see on screen.

Speaking of being something I want to see, I went to a strip club last Spring Break and a group of chicks from Boston convinced the DJ to let them do an amateur strip show. I was something that changed my fucking life, because seeing a girl who can barely dance and who has really only been naked at every frat party for the last 2 years flashing the whole fucking bar and getting off to made for a good time. I have gone back, week after week, hoping to witness it again but it hasn’t happened, but Tomorrow night my be a pivotal day in witnessing it all over again because the 19 year old drunk chicks are back in town motherfuckers…

Either way, here are pics of Drew and Her New Boyfriend Spike Jonze, Who Is Obviously a Fag or Into Bitches Who Look Like they Were Hit By a Bus and have clits that are bigger than most dicks but their fat lips keep shit locked in place better than duct tape:

Posted in:Drew Barrymore|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Ashley Scott's Panties of the Day

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I can’t believe my life has come to looking for pantylines on bitches I have never heard of to post for 15 people while trying to write something worth writing, but then I realize that I really have nothing better to do with my time, so I guess it all works out. I also realize that nothing I write is worth reading so I could drop some shit how I can’t believe that me finding pantylines on bitches I don’t know is actually the highlight of my day because Wednesdays is wash my wife day. It takes about 3 hours to scrub her down, she has a pretty extensive surface area and maneuvering herself in and out of the top and reaching all the hard to reach areas that you’d rather not reach s something that you have no choice but to do otherwise infection will set in but at least it has disgusted you and ruined this image you wish you could maintain of a woman being something you want to explore from head to toe, but after experiencing this shit once you never really found that feeling again…and now that you have been doing this for 3 years strong, it’s pretty much killed every male instinct you once had, so all of a sudden, lookin’ for pantlines ain’t all that bad after all. Enjoy.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted