I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

15

Sep

Serial Killer Love Song of the Day

You know the world doesn’t have enough Serial Killer Love songs. Here’s a little Charles Manson song to pick up your spirits, just try not to think about the pregnant woman he brutally murdered when you slow dance to this shit with your pillow, pretending it was a woman to hold because you know one day, it just might be one. There are a lot of horny desperate older ladies out there lookin’ for a guy just like you, you just have to put yourself out there. I believe in you.

Posted in:Charles Manson|Love Song.

2008

15

Sep

Kim Kardashians’ Funny Facebook Ad of the Day

So this Laura’s Weight Loss site is using Kim Kardashian’s image on their site to promote some weight loss program. Now I don’t know much about marketing and advertising and shit, but I do know that she’s better suited for a chocolate bar company, because let’s face it, if you want a Kim Kardashian body, all you have to do is sit on your couch and start eating.

Having her promoting a diet, is like hiring Magic Johnson to promote condoms, Lindsay Lohan to promote Abstinence, Amy Winehouse to promote sobriety, Jennier Lopez to promote music school, you get what I am saying…..

Posted in:Ad|Kim Kardashian

2008

15

Sep

Some Tommy Lee Lame Drum Solo from the 80s of the Day

I am going to admit that I am not feeling up to the job today, the thought of lookin at pictures of celebrity chicks and writing my stories to them seems fuckin’ boring as shit, but I’ll shape up in the next few minutes, but in the meantime, how about watching this Tommy Lee solo because despite all the cheesy, fake tit, groupie pussy he gets he’s still a fuckin’ loser attention craving drummer in the back of the stage trying to get a little of the glory the rest of the band was getting and that insecurity and really lame execution of a desperate cry makes me feel better than I did about 6 minutes and 41 seconds ago. Enjoy.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

14

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

Yeah, Yeah…here are my links. Stop emailing me about them. Some of us have important things to do away from our computers on weekends, like find the source of all the bugs crawling around my apartment and following big scary black guys with pot leaves on the back of their jackets into the back alley by my house out of curiosity to see what they are up to back there and not being met with the warm welcome I expected….I kinda slacked this past week, I think I’ll try a little harder this upcoming week, like actually read my emails. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. Love.

Dear Pete WEntz: Die.
GO

Star Hour Takes Two Negatives and Makes a Positive
GO

Danielle Llyod, You Big Ball of Class
GO

Elizabeth Hurley Tits
GO

The Best Porn You’ll Watch All Day
GO

The Hottest Political Pundits , and By Pundits, I Mean Sluts
GO

Bikini Bagpipes
GO

Kim Smith is Lazing About
GO

Here’s the Video of Kanya West Throwing a Tempur Tantrum
GO

Honestly I Miss the Crazy, Panty and Vagina Flashing Britney, So Here’s a Throwback
GO

Jessica Simpson Doesn’t Look Completelt Disgusting at Some Event or Another
GO

Sex or Yoga
GO

Ahhhh Gymnastic Mishaps
GO

Your Friday Night Entertainment
GO

Who Says Romance is Dead?
GO

Amy Winehouse is Getting it Together
GO

Second Trailer for the Quantum of Solace
GO

Fat Man Breaks the Xerox
GO

Here’s Some More About That Girl Who is Auctioning Off Her Virginity
GO

The Ten Hottest Sets of Twins Ever
GO

Who’s That in a Purple Dress
GO

Nothing Like a Good Old Baseball Fight
GO

Group Showers Are Where It’s At
GO

Why Hello Chloe Jones
GO

The Lovely Asgrid is Hotter Then Her Name Lets On
GO

Trailer for Changeling
GO

Because We All Know You’re a Virgin Anyways
GO

Fuck You Jack in the Box
GO

More Proof You Don’t Need Brains to Write a Book
GO

More From Madonna’s Dry and Sour Tour
GO

And MORE From Madonna’s Dry and Sour Tour – This Time With More Steroids
GO

Kim Mardashian is a Model for Safety
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Whoaaa…Relax There, Road Rage
GO

I Guess She Forgot to Lock the Door
GO

Sophie Monk Wears Bikini Top; Can Ride Bike
GO

Beer Goggles and You
GO

Gabriela Vergara Can Make Me Coffee Anytime
GO

Danny Lynn Birkhead = Not Dead Yet
GO

Ron White Likes to Get High, Motherfucker!
GO

Now That’s What I Call a Red Carpet Dreess.
PS: Is This a Tranny?
GO

Post It Note Experiment
GO

Red Head Rosalia
GO

Pam Anderson is Just Plain Crazy
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

12

Sep

How About Some Winonna Ryder Legs of the Day

I figure these will be the last pictures I post this week, because like Winona Ryder, I am old, tired and have nothing to offer the world but am just happy that at one point in time people liked me enough to give me work to fill up my bank account enough to carry me through the rest of my life, except for the whole being happy that at one point in time people liked me enough to give me work to fill up my bank account enough to carry me through the rest of my life part, because I am poor.

I never found Winona hot. I didn’t care when she got arrested for shoplifting, I didn’t care when I realized she had bigger tits than I thought she did, and I don’t care now, but I will post her legs because I know at least one of you cares because you have a hard time moving on….

Posted in:Legs|Winonna Ryder

2008

12

Sep

Shauna Sand is Keeping It Classy of the Day

Everyone hates on Shauna Sand for being a tacky bitch, but what I know is that despite dressing like a cheap hooker with the name Gary tattooed on her ass, she still manages to keep her composure. She just comes from a school of thought where fake hair, fake tits and skinny everything else is a good thing, and in her defense her career is solely based on the younger version of this look, so like a dog being rewarded a dog treat for doing a trick, Shauna Sand keeps bringing this back out because it is her trick and we’ve all rewarded her for it. The sad thing is that she keeps shit classy by not releasing sex tapes, by never being rude and by always taking the time to clean herself up and despite it not being something you’d want to see your mom wearing, it is something you’d want a slut you bring home to fuck to be wearing and you can’t forget that. Like I can’t forget the time I was forced to hang out with 2 trashy chicks from Michigan at some resort town’s public pool and they were cussin’ and spitting and scratching themselves in disgusting places I wanted to smell and one of them got so drunk she shit herself in the pool and laughed it off despite popular belief amongst trash, shitting in a public pool is not socially acceptable, it is not a value pack sized toilet that you buy at Costco and it is not considered keeping your composure and there is not a chapter is Emily Post’s Book of Etiquette sountil I see Shauna Sand covered in feces, I’m stickin’ to this whole classy angle.

Posted in:Bra|Classy|Shauna Sand

2008

12

Sep

Michelle Trachtenberg is Worth Fucking of the Day

Some people say Jews are worthless people that are always out to make a dollar. I say Jews aren’t worthless at all because in their quest to make a dollar they run big businesses, they are doctors and they are lawyers and politicians helping people and run Hollywood and Fashion Industries entertaining people, but I will say that Jewish girls are generally not hot, so when I see a seemingly worthless girl, not because she is a Jew but because she doesn’t do anything worthwhile and who happens to be Jewish look as good as Michelle Trachtenberg does in these pics, I realize that she does have worth to whoever the fuck is fuckin’ her because I know I like what I am seeing.

Maybe it is just because compared to every Jewish girl I’ve met, she doesn’t look like a rat-faced monster and I am just excited that finally someone has broken down my preconceived notions, but in my preconceived notons defense, Jewish girls aren’t hot, it is just smoke and mirrors.

The same smoke and mirrors Michelle Trachtenberg is trying to use by hanging out with supermodels because despite being a hot Jewish girl she realizes that she can’t be a supermodel but does everything in her power to hang out with them, including going to their events, in hopes to be hotter by association, it’s that Jewish drive and ambition and keen business sense shining through in her marketing of herself and showing off them tits.

Here she is with Maria Sharapova at Fashion Week

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg|Tits

2008

12

Sep

Lisa Rinna’s Hard Nipples of the Day

* Access to material has been disabled in compliance with DMCA *

Since Lisa Rinna is a fucking robot and made of fiberglass and silicone, I don’t know how excited you will be to see her silicone filled nipples on her botox filled face, but I’m going to post it anyway, because last time I checked, you were a weird kid saving up to buy yourself a sex toy, so a little silicone and plastic won’t really throw you off, even when this real doll is probably 60 fucking years old and ready to go to Real Doll heaven because her vagina is all blown out and a real doll without a vagina is really not worth keepin’ and it’s time to buy a new one, unless you’re this guy .

* Access to material has been disabled in compliance with DMCA *

Posted in:Lisa Rinna|Nipples

2008

12

Sep

Katy Perry Has Fans of the Day

This just in…Katy Perry has fans….let’s hope it’s some immigrant who thinks she’s someone else, because as far as I am concerned, if I hear that song one more time on the radio, I am going to personally get on a bus and make my way down to whatever trash town this bitch is from, find her and punch her in the fuckin’ face, because I can’t stand her and the way she pollutes my life and everywhere I fucking go. I hope some pyscho has the same plan for her, only instead of punching her in the face, he kidnaps her and we never here from her again. Like the time my friend’s kid got taken from the Mall when the were shopping for school clothes because he was just starting school, only he never did and 20 years later still no word from him and shit broke the family apart and really devastated the community…that was a depressing story….but a lot less depressing than the fact that Katy Perry is famous…maybe my priorities are skewed, but the way I saw it and what I told my friend is that he can always make another baby, it’s not like they kidnapped his fuckin’ balls….we don’t really talk all that much anymore….ok I am stopping this talk now.

Posted in:Fans|Katy Perry

2008

12

Sep

Alba Bondage Ad for America of the Day

Alba is so wild in this bondage style ad trying to get peole to register to vote or vote or whatever the fuck she’s doing, but I was pretty disappointed at how tame shit was and was hoping for more of a snuff film than some playful suburban wife trying to add spice to her boring sex life with her fat husband’s idea of bondage, but that’s just because I hate Alba and like snuff films, except for the whole killin’ part, just hard to stay hard for those parts, but I didn’t have too hard of a time staying hard for the woman I saw grinding her husband on the park bench today. They were lying in the grass and she was doing some kind of stripper ass shake on his dick, it was one of those rent a room you sick fucks moment, only I didn’t really want them to rent a room, since I was pretty much down with the show. What I am also down with is how irrelevant Alba is now that she’s a mom, because I was getting sick of her and that ego when she’s not even that hot, like I’m getting sick of celebrities endorsing American Political races especially when they are some uneducated Mexican who is only known for her tits.

Just vote for Obama. Stop being an idiot. It’s easy. Dude wins me over every time I hear him talk, like Alba wins me over everytime I think she’s going to completely cover her face up…but doesn’t since she always disappoints.

Posted in:Ad|Bondage|Jessica Alba

2008

12

Sep

Adriana Lima Does Ugly Betty of the Day

Adriana Lima was on the set of Ugly Betty this week with Lohan and I assume it is because she plays herself and comes to one of the characters in a dream or something equally ridiculous like as that Ugly main character’s better lookin sister who lives a better life than her and who she has always been jealous of, or maybe she’s playing Lohan’s lesbian lover since it will contribute to Lohan’s lie that is her sexuality because the truth is she’s taking a break from dick because she’s already fucked everyone and is waiting for some new blood to come in, that’s the only explanation for that Snowboarder she met in rehab, but I’ve never seen the show and the only way I’d watch it is if a plane crashed into it and killed everyone on it. Get it a bad September 11 joke which is always more offensive than a good September 11 joke….what? Too soon?!

BONUS THAT’S NOT REALLY A BONUS – LOHAN ON SET OF UGLY BETTY CUZ THIS SHOW IS PULLIN’ ALL THE STOPS…AND REALLY TAKING OVER…..LIKE HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER….ONLY WITH LESS GAY CAST….I’M TALKING TO YOU NEIL PATRICK HARRIS….

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Ugly Betty

2008

12

Sep

Katherine Mcphee Got Some Crazy Tits of the Day

Katherine Mcphee may not have much of a career since losing American Idol…or did she win American Idol? Truth is if you’re on American Idol, even if you win, you still lose to the rest of the world, because reality TV sucks and is the single most obnoxious way to get famous and is the real downfall of this generation, I remember a time when the only commoners who could get on TV were on the local news as a street comment, or on the National News if you did something really bad, or the audience of talk shows or contestants on Game Shows and no one remembered you the second the show was over, but now, everyone is fuckin’ famous, everyone is on YouTube, everyone is just like the stars and people recognize them and pay them to do stupid things, when they should have been at home doing the fuckin’ dishes watching sitcoms and getting ready for bed because they have an early day at the factory tomorrow or some shit….

But Katherine Mcphee does have some pretty amazing tits.

Note: I don’t know if that reads the way I want it to, so if you’re confused, it’s ok, my pee is brown and need water.

Posted in:cleavage|Katherine McPhee

2008

12

Sep

Sophie Monk Rides A Bikini in a Bike of the Day

Here are some pictures of Sophie Monk riding a bike in a bikini top, getting back to her fifth grade memories, when life was so simple. She’s even got the little license plate that reads her childhood nickname her dad used to call her and I guess it’s all because Good Charlotte broke her heart and she’s trying to find that “safe place” they taught me about when I was in therapy. The only difference is that this Sophie Monk refused a seat because she wants to remember what penetration feels like. If you’re wondering why you see a seat in the picture, it’s because she my theory didn’t actually happen, it was just me being stupid and making reference to the fact that the last guy she dated didn’t have a penis and that was before Paris Hilton’s acidic diseased cunt touched it, so now I guess he’s got a scabby fleshy mound like a Ken Doll, but fatter and with more suburban tattoos from the strip mall in his hometown.

Either way, shes wearing a bikini top, oh my god. Virgins Unite that was me trying to make some kind of comic book reference to people who get excited about chicks in bikini tops, but I never read comic books so I’m just clueless on the shit, and probably not that much cooler than you, despite knowing what a vagina feels like.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

12

Sep

Some Big Ass Black Chick Named Cherokee Showing Off Her Big Fat Ass Video of the Day

I am having trouble formulating sentences today, like every other day, only today feels worse because I can’t focus on the screen. I accidentally walked into a reggae bar with my wife last night because I wanted to see Jamaican girls grindin’ dirty and getting’ low on another guy because one of my life’s great tragedies is that I have never had sex with a black girl. Not because I am racist, but because they are and proven by last night’s insanity, they don’t seem to like fat mexican dudes in sweat pants and it turns out that they don’t like being made fun of either. When one guy came up to me and asked me if I wanted weed, I told him to get a job. When another came up to me, I put on my whitest voice and I threw out every white Jamaican cliche I could think of like no problem man, irie man, can I get a patty man, take that machete away from my neck please I don’t have anymore money, can you stop touching my wife like that, she is 400 pounds and doesn’t deserve any male attention so please stop making her feel like she’s pretty, desirable just because you want to fuck a white girl and don’t care how obese she is…..and I didn’t get laid by any of the black hoes with their long legs, round asses, hot titties and dark skin that some Spaniard I met outside said reminded him of a gorilla, but my wife did get to feel what it’s like to be wanted.

Either way, here’s some big assed black chick named Cherokee in some Big Ass Black chick movie someone sent me. I don’t know if she’s big to you hip hop heads, butI am posting it anyway despite not having any idea who she is or the fact that she’s the kind of black chick I never want to experience, but I am doing it for those who want to be reminded of what Kim Kardashian should be doing for a career if she wasn’t born rich.

Posted in:Big Ass|Black Chick|Cherokee

2008

12

Sep

Kanye West Got Arrested for This of the Day

I am a little slow on shit but I did see this yesterday, I just wanted to think things over before throwing it up with some generic commentary, but realized that I completely forgot about it the second I walked away from the computer and I accepted the fact that all I know is generic commentary. Sucks to be me….

So this is a video of Kanye West attacking a paparazzi who is taking pictures of him and that’s is some serious pussy shit, not the kind of pussy shit I find in my wife’s underwear but the kind of pussy shit that makes me wonder if this bitch has a penis or not on his 5 foot 7 little man syndrome body and not because I have gay fantasies but because he’s tough guying a fuckin’ immigrant with a camera.

Sure the paparazzi are annoying as hell, I’d get pissed off at them too, I wouldn’t try to break their cameras, I would just follow them home and and rape their wives or kidnap their kids or something. Because if I am going to get arrested, I am going to do it in a way that I get to keep any dignity I might have but breaking a real law and none of this vandalism shit. I guess Kanye should just wishes he could run back home to his mom in their middle class, educated, zero street credibility life where the paparazzi don’t bother him, but he can’t cuz his momma’s dead.

Either way, here’s some Pink Giving the Finger Cuz She’s More Hardcore and has more Cred than this Kanye West Bitch of the Day…

Posted in:Arrest Video|Kanye West|Paparazzi