I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

01

May

Ashton Kutcher Made Me Famous of the Day

Someone anonymously sent me the twitter admin panel for Ashton Kutcher’s twitter page. I am guessing this is the backend that has all his information about his account that twitter employees have access too.

I am proud to say that I am one of 8 people he has blocked. That is amazing. Sure it may not do anything for me, but knowing that he went out of his way to make me specifically disappear makes me feel like I’ve made it. Let’s hope Oprah and CNN set up an interview with me to find out why I am one of very few people he couldn’t handle ripping into him. I’ll keep you motherfuckers posted.

I admit I terrorized him a little with comments about his wonky lookin’ twin and his mom’s failed uterus, comments about how his mom’s failed uterus has driven him to Demi’s plastic surgery uterus and comments about fucking Rumer cuz no one else will, but I think the one that put him over the edge is when I called him a joke and not a comedian. Either way, it is the first time I can say I am proud to be in the same box as Perez.

Posted in:Ashton Kutcher|Twitter

2009

30

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I met a handicapped woman today. She couldn’t get enough of my dog and the entire time she was talking to me as she was drooling all over herself, I couldn’t help but wonder if she fucked as wonky as she walked, talked and pretty much got through life and would I really be able to get down with her while it was going down, or would her screams, moans and handicapped person grunts make me lose my boner. I guess that makes me a sick fucking person, but I like to think I’m an equal opportunity employer of sex, while most people are disgusted by her birth defect/handicap/retardation/disability and lose their appetite when they get stuck eating next to her in a restaurant, I’m thinking about her vagina and it’s capabilities and not about what she lacks in ability. I truly am a hero.

I didn’t twitter that story, because twitter is fucking up my shit, leaving me with nothing to write about here, while here is where I live on the internet, so I am not down with Twitter for trying to fuck that up. Not to mention, that shit bores me and I can’t keep track of the people I am following mainly because people update too much and I really don’t care what they are up to. It also has to do with me being too into feeling sorry for myself to really get involved and bother with all the noise coming out of people on the shit, so if my twitter seems uninspired, it’s because twitter is uninspiring.

That doesn’t mean I am fully giving up on it, just because it fucks with my barely there self esteem.

So Follow Me
GO

Here are the rest of my AMAZING links…Start Clickin’.

People Are Trying To Ruin One of My Favorite Things…
GO

Paula Abdul Got Totally Played By Sacha Baron Cohen/Bruno
GO

I Gotta Admit, This Pizza Box Is Kind of Awesome
GO

The Nine Hottest Brazilian Women
GO

Fatty Catches Some Air
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Leotard is Under High Stress
GO

When Moms Discover the Power of the Net
GO

Which Thing Won’t Kill You?!
GO

Meet Aubrey Miles
GO

Inside the Mind of Mike Tyson
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Nicole Richie Already Ruined Her Vagina So I Guess That Joke Is Kind of Old Now
GO

BRad and Angelina’s New Orphan Baby
GO

Hey There Jessica Simpson’s Tits
GO

Sorry Lily Allen, No One Wants to Have Sex With You Anyway
GO

Miss Peru 2003 Claudia Hernandez Panty Upskirt Video Clip
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Kinda Wanna Stick My Dick in MK Olsen Today
GO

Welcome to The Rose Bal
GO

A Bunch of Sluts at Some LG Event
GO

Some Vintage Mr.Bean, Just Because
GO

Renata Daninsky and Marketa Brymova
GO

Kinda Wanna Blow Up The Entire American Idol Empire
GO

In Her Defense, That’s a Diet Coke Guys
GO

The Lovely Faye Valentine
GO

When Bazookas Backfire
GO

Some Riley Chase is Always Good for the Soul
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Vanessa Minnillo is Lookin Good
GO

Boy George is Looking to Get Some Peen In Prison
GO

Keeley Hazell Lingerie
GO

Adriana is Too Die For
GO

Britneay Spears Stripper Poles Had Better Be Double Reinforced
GO

Bombshells From Hell
GO

My Kingdom For This Police Officer Next Time I Get Arrested
GO

That Ho From Top Gun is a Lesbian!!
GO

Some Sand Art Video You Should Watch to Bring Some Culture into Your Useless Life
GO

Her Vagina is Awfully Vocal
GO

Naomi Campbell is Retiring
GO

Donkey Kong the Movie
GO

The 8 Essential Sex Positions For Summer
GO

This is a good place to make nude friends
GO

Booze and Titties…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

30

Apr

RIP Motherfucker the Dead Cheerleader Edition of the Day

Here’s an uplifting story for you.

This 21 year old died of a drug overdose the other day. She took GHB or GBL the core of GHB and did what my GHB friends call wiping out. Now her mother’s trying to ruin the party for the rest of us by getting the government in the UK to ban the shit that you can easily and legally buy off the internet there, which I think is amazing.

They say that this girl didn’t know she took the drug, but it was in a drink that she drank, I call lie, but GHB in unsuspecting drinks is the foundation of my pickin’ up girls game.

I get it, you’re sad your daughter died, but do you really need to fuck with how a lot of us get laid and how a lot of us have a good time. Do you have to rain on our gay pride parade because GHB is a cheap fun high and I am saying that after a good friend of mine had to be revived after taking two viles of the shit a couple years ago, because I respect that we all gotta go sometime and we can all make the decisions in life that can speed up the process….

Point of this is to say, just because you feel pain and loss doesn’t mean you gotta try to change the fucking world and leave some impact in her name. You don’t need to make us all suffer just cuz your daughter died. People die everyday and that’s like a parent banning cars because their kid died in a car accident, or banning cancer because they had childhood leukemia…people die.

Maybe if you were a better mother, your daughter would have made better judgement call and hung with people who didn’t fuck with drugs or parties. Maybe the real thing that needs to be banned is you. I’m not pointing fingers here, I’m just saying “KEEP GBL ALIVE!!!”

Posted in:GHB|Hester Stewart|Overdose

2009

30

Apr

Kim Kardashian and Her Leotard of the Day

Here are Kelly Osbourne and Kim Kardashian giving each other a hug the other day at some roller skating bullshit event because I guess they haven’t seen each other at the “all you can eat” buffet’s dessert spread since Kardashian decided to try to fool the world in making a workout DVD.

You see, to put things into perspective, I think I called Kelly Osbourne a Sea Pig a couple of weeks ago, so when you pit them up against each other, only to discover that Kelly Osbourne looks like Kim Kardashian can eat her and when Kelly Osborne invites you out somewhere to make her look skinny, you know your workout DVD is nothing more than a fucking joke.

That said, I still have a leotard fetish because I like clothing that touches tits and pussy at the same time like it ain’t a thing. I won’t let Kardashian change that, because even with all her lies, with all the flaws, with all the masculine features, she’s still a better catch than pretty much every girl I’ve slept with. So I can’t pretend to have standards…..

Keep it black Kim, this roller skating shit is like that Bow Wow movie.

Holly Madison and Her Shorts Were at the Same Event….and no one cared….because she was overshadowed by Kardashian….literally…I hate literally jokes…

Posted in:Ass|Kim Kardashian|Leotard

2009

30

Apr

Uma Thurman Sloppy Tits of the Day

I just shoved my finger in an 18 year old girl’s mouth sexually and it wasn’t a hit.

I don’t know why, it was impulsive but I am sure it had to do with her perky tits being in my fucking face.

It wasn’t a random attack. I know the girl from around, she works the cash at the pharmacy down the street from me and we talk sometimes, that’s why I was so shocked when she called her manager and had me escorted out after I took things to the next level.

I hate pointing the “blame” finger, I rather stick it in a girl’s mouth/vagina/anus, but she was totally asking for it with those half-exposed fucking tits. Tits I can only imagine Uma once had when she was 18. But now she’s just a sloppy mess.

Posted in:Sloppy|Tits|Uma Thurman

2009

30

Apr

Elle Macpherson and Straw Suckin’ Legs of the Day

Here are some pictures of Elle Macpherson sucking a straw in a pair of shorts, that’s really the only reason I posted these pictures and is actually the same reason I go to the ice cream shop down the street. I could spend days just staring at hot moms and teenage girls licking a cone or sucking their milkshakes back only to play it back the memories in slow motion when I get home and my wife forces me to go down on her, which happens more than I’d like, probably because we don’t own a TV. That said, I think I better get a job to make the pain end…

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Legs

2009

30

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Hawaii Surfing of the Day

This is my second Lohan post today. She’s surfing in a one-piece and I am impressed by her athleticism. I’ve always wanted to be a surfer, at least ever since I saw Point Break. It looks like a lifestyle I could really connect with, unfortunately, I live in Canada, I am 300 pounds and I don’t know how to swim and I hate waking up early, so I’d really just want to sit on the beach creepin’ on girls all day, not that I like to refer to my life mission as creepy, I am just letting the rules of society get the better of me, because there’s nothing wrong with snappin’ off pics of unsuspecting girls as they tan while masturbating. That’s not creepy. Creepy would be following them to the public bathroom and raping them as they shower off the sand….or something. Fuck leave me alone. I don’t have the answers. I just know I need lunch.

Posted in:Hawaii|Lindsay Lohan|Surfing

2009

30

Apr

Susan Boyle Shows Off her Hot Virgin Feet and her Hot Virgin Lingerie of the Day

If you wonder what hot virgin pussy wears to bed, here’s a glimpse into her most intimate of outfits. If you’re wondering why a virgin stays a fuckin virgin, look at her fucking feet and I guess in her defense, she’s fucking scary looking, so a mangled foot probably has only fractionaly impact on why that pussy hasn’t seen light, but a mangled foot is probably a nice glimpse into what type of condition that untouched twat is like and the whole thing is just too hot for me to handle.

Posted in:Susan Boyle|Virgin

2009

30

Apr

Katy Perry Needs to Wear Looser Clothes of the Day

What the fuck is this costume that Katy Perry is wearing and why is it so tight. I made it pretty fucking clear to Katy Perry that her dumpy ass body has no business being half naked or in spandex. Catsuits are not made for dogs, if you know what I mean….

I get it. She thinks that being popular or having a popular song means people want to fuck her, I know she doesn’t realize there’s nothing remotely attractive about her, but what I don’t understand is why she’s not performing in a Snuggie like she should be.

Speaking of fat girls ruining good things, I was walking down the street the other day and saw a group of fat fucking girls in their school girl outfits. I thought to myself, why are they allowed to wear those, shouldn’t they have a size limit, the girls who don’t make the cut get the sweatpants. Don’t they know that it’s a cliche fantasy for a fucking reason, it’s sacred, it doesn’t need their fucking french fry and cake eating ass to fucking ruin it for us.

That is why I applying for a job as a consultant for private school uniform policies….

Posted in:Fat|Katy Perry|Tight Clothes

2009

30

Apr

Rihanna and Beenie Man in a Shitty Bootleg Video Grinding of the Day

Here’s a second bootleg video from the Barbados Reggae Fest, that I guess was shot on a broken camera someone in the crowd got from cleaning rooms at the resort they work at, because the quality is wonky as shit. I am posting this as a public notice to let everyone out there know that as Beenie Man is grinding up on Rihanna, she’s not wearing panties and showing her cunt to the crowd. Now if Barbados wasn’t so fucking poor and high, maybe some motherfucker would have had the fucking insight to pull out his camera and snap a shot for me, since her pussy is something I’ve been meaning to meet for a long time, but I guess based on this video, I can’t be asking for too much from the crowd cuz digital camera’s are expensive when you make 10 dollars a week. Either way, try to make out her pussy in this video, because this is the exact time she flashed the world and no one thought to capture it.

Posted in:Beenie Man|Grinding|Rihanna

2009

30

Apr

Die Heidi and Spencer… Die… of the Day



DIE. Let’s hope that their publicity stunt goes awry and motherfuckers get jacked up with that swine flu shit a, because as funny as it is to see them do their bullshit performances on camera all the time, it’s tedious and I’m ready for it all to end. It would only be fitting if it happened while trying to get attention to themselves like they always do, by doing shit like going to Mexico during a pandemic scare, you know since idiots like this deserve to be punished for their behavior. Unfortunately it won’t happen, but their travel agent deserves a thank you note for at least trying his best to murder them legally.


See more of Heidi Montag On Her Honeymoon in a Bikini

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Honeymoon|Spencer Pratt

2009

30

Apr

Sasha Grey for Rolling Stone of the Day

You gotta hand it to Sasha Grey. She was the obscure Goth girl in her highschool, who took everything a little too seriously and who decided to embrace fucking on camera and pushing the fucking limits while she was 18 and people wanted to see it. It brought her to the top of her industry, getting paid more than any other pornstar per scene, leaving all the cheesy industry people cofused as to why, all while taking a seemingly educated approach to it all, in some kind of rationalizing why she’s a whore. So despite having bush and not really having the porn look, but pushing the fucking limits and keeping porn interesting to people desensitized or looking for the next level shit, people who aren’t me because I get turned off with her porn almost immediately. I know girls who hate porn who love her, guys who are gay who love her, people who don’t like seeing a girl take on 14 black dicks, but for some reason respect her work and think she’s put the art back into fucking on camera.

So that’s brought her to the mainstream, staring in some movie about escorts as the lead a stepping stone to take over the fuckin’ world and it all started with a dick in her mouth on camera.

So girls, when I ask you to do porn for the site, realize it is in your best interest.

On a side note, how the fuck does Rolling Stone get away with publishing pictures like this, while I get rejected by advertisers everyday for posting the same kinda shit. Hypocrisy….

Here she is at the premiere of the movie….

Posted in:Mainstream|Rolling Stone|Sasha Grey|Whore

2009

30

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Hawaii Bikini of the Day

A-loha(n). Lindsay Lohan’s still looking good in her bikini in Hawaii. She’s rockin’ out with her sister and her monkey lookin’ friend. I’d post the pictures of her sister, but she is 15 and I have a reputation I’m trying to kill. Just the other day I was walking through the park innocently and some season-pushing teenage girls were tanning in the smallest bikinis ever, it wasn’t even that hot out, but I guess they realize that they are in their prime, guys their own age are jerking off to them, guys their dad’s age are too, and they might as well play it up before puberty makes them fat. When I went up to them to ask if they wanted me to make them famous and if they had any fake IDs in the event we got caught, they told me to fuck off and called me a creep, so I’ve vowed to stick to real 18 year old sluts, not cockteasing teenage sluts….I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I guess it was to say that no Ali Lohan pics, and who’d really want them when Lohan’s body so tight it might as well be 14 and jacked on hormones in the food she eats.

Posted in:Bikini|Hawaii|Lindsay Lohan

2009

30

Apr

Kim Kardashian’s Untouched Bikini Pictures of the Day

Kim Kardashian had a scandal a month ago, that involved her pretty much being fully rebuilt for Complex magazine through photoshop because she is fat and ugly and they were trying to sort that out for her so that instead of turning off their regular readers and luring in people down with fat trannies, they’ll just help keep her lie alive.

So in efforts to trick us, she’s done an unedited photoshoot with Instyle, while maybe shit’s not as edited as Complex, I know she’s more doughy than this, but I guess that won’t sell her bullshit work out DVD to anyone who isn’t a black dude or white dude pretending to be hip hop who dig fat chicks….

I love the highest heels imaginable to give the optical illusion that she’s not a thick and stalky piece of shit. We’re onto you Kim Kardashian. We know you are swine flu.

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian|Untouched

2009

30

Apr

Brazilian Model Falls Hard of the Day

Here’s a Brazilian Model falling while walking the catwalk to start the day because everyday I know I feel like I’m falling on my fucking face over and over and over again….Good morning people.

Posted in:Brazilian Model|Fall