I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

11

Nov

Jennifer Tilly has Some Fat Tits of the Day

Here is a big set of 40 year old tits on a 40 year old menopausal body. e Nothing like the aging process to motivate me to get off the computer and take a nap because I am not feeling this whole bloggin’ thing today. My brain is muddy and I can’t think of all the funny shit I had planned to talk about today, because I only slept for a minute on the couch because I couldn’t come to terms where my life has gone, much like how Jennifer Tilly felt when she looked at herself in the mirror, having to come to terms with where it all went….but I guess at least she’s got her tits, while I pretty much have nothing. Good times.

Posted in:Jennifer Tilly|Tits

2008

11

Nov

Keri Russell Has Not Tits of the Day

Remember Felicity? Either do I. I mean I am not against ginger haired girls and their bright red colored pussies, but I was never into this boring slut. I remember meeting a group of board game playing guys at a bar once who were all up on this bitch. I got to talking to them because I figured playing board games in bars on a Friday night was worse that being the guy hanging at a place where people play board games, and while playing Risk, they were fighting with each other about which one of them they thought Felicity would go for and I figured it would be entertaining to chime in. So here are these fucking losers, throwing out all their strengths and shooting down each other and I was having the time of my life witnessing it, because I am the kind of guy who knows nothing about board games or the people who play them because I find them embarrassing as shit….but not as embarrassing as debating whether Keri Russell would go for you or not and having a totally logical reasoning as to why should would. It was fucked, but not as fucked as her non-existant tits.

Posted in:Flat Chested|Keri Russell|Tits

2008

11

Nov

Taylor Swift’s Shirt Isn’t See Through of the Day

This shirt Taylor Swift is wearing looks like something that would normally be see through, but since her handlers have a firm grip on her to not have her fuck up and ruin whatever wholesome image she has that sells records, it looks like they doubled shit up so that you couldn’t get a glimpse of her tits and that’s really okay, sometimes things are better left to the imagination, especially when those things are my fat talking about buying a bikini for a vacation she thinks she’s going to win at the supermarket because she’s a valued customer, the only restitution I have is that they don’t make bikinis in her size, but I still know exactly what the shit would look like and that’s something I don’t really wish on anyone.

Posted in:See Through|Taylor Swift|Tits

2008

11

Nov

Brittny Gastineau Has the Lamest Nip Slip of the Day

She’s some socialite or whatever the fuck you call rich tacky whores who go to events to flaunt their shit because they are rich tacky whores and have nothing better to do and she’s showing off her tits as best as she can….If you have your really desperate to see nipple glasses on, the ones that double as your reading glasses and seeing far distance glasses because you are flawed, you can see some of her nipple, which is pretty tame for a rich tacky whore, you’d expect her to at least flash her underwear in hopes of having people talk about her, you know get some of the attention her daddy never gave her back….

Posted in:Brittny Gastineau|cleavage|Nipple

2008

11

Nov

Beyonce Is Trying to Be Rihanna of the Day

Like a mother jealous of her daughter’s youth, or a girlfriend jealous of her boyfriend’s hot young co-worker he hangs out with, Beyonce is going that extra mile to try to look as hot and slutty as possible, knowing that she’s been replaced by Rihanna, but not accepting the fact that she’s been replaced by Rihanna, because once you accept that your time has come and gone, there’s little to look forward to, so it’s important to tap into the competitiveness that makes your relatives pro athletes and marathon runners, and the fire you felt back when your little sister challenged you to a watermelon eating contest and really take ownership on your experience, to try to win the public over, unfortunately, Beyonce’s doing it by wearing a pair of Rihanna’s pants and the whole thing is fucking pathetic. Nice tits though.

Posted in:Beyonce|Leggings|Rihanna

2008

11

Nov

Some Teen Girls Growin’ Up Too Fast of the Day

there’ really nothing interesting going on right now, been surfing the internet and nothing interesting is coming up, but I was sent this video about some teenage girl in the UK who wants breast implants even though she’s probably 16. I guess it’s a testament to how awesome big tits are, or maybe the influence of all those UK glamor models having careers based on their big tits making 14 year olds feel inadequate and despite hating fake tits, this does give me confidence that the world is going in the right direction……

The real issue is obviously the parents, they give their kids too much freedom like this one mom saying she thinks her daughter is old enough to make decisions about her body for herself, even if the girl isn’t fully developed and that not being developed really makes perverts more aroused versus the fake tits they see at stripclubs constantly, anyone can have those, but only 15 year olds can have teenage titties, so why ruin a good thing, I guess because you’re a whore in training and this is phase one….or whatever….either way, watch the video, blame Jordan, Gemma Atkinson and them other slags who have proven today that despite popular belief, they aren’t entirely useless…..

Posted in:Sluts|Teens|UK

2008

11

Nov

Some Where is Blossom Now of the Day

If you ever watched the show Blossom, like I did, not because I wanted to be the teen heartthrob that Joey Lawrence was and learn his trick, or because I was down with seeing an ugly dumpy Jewish faced girl live out her teenage day-to-day sitcom bullshit, or even because I wanted to fuck her best friend six, but because I was just amazed that such an ugly girl could get on TV. Even in the 80s I knew the Jews ran the industry and figured she was someone’s niece or kid or something that made them look past her broken down looks, maybe they created the pilot to shut her up and didn’t expect it to get picked up and when it did, were forced to keep it going and week after week I’d chime in waiting for the day the replaced her. They never did.

When I saw these pics of Blossom with her family, I realized that she never really grew into that nose of hers, she still looks like something created in a lab at a concentration camp and unlike the Jewish women I see around these parts, didn’t bother going under the knife to land a rich husband to get knocked up by for the lifestyle and stability she always wanted so that the hired filipino can raise them while she’s out shopping, doing her hair, or fucking her tennis coach.

The good news is that she never got work after Blossom and the blunder that was that show, didn’t make a wonky eyed star we could never escape, so for those of you who have forgotten, here’s that reminded.

Speaking of Jews, I met a Jewish guy with a Swastika tattoo, it was like seeing one of those ironic t-shirts like “I da ho, no u da ho” t-shirts, only way more hardcore.

Here’s the Blossom intro for those of you who luckily forget…

In my opinionation, the sun never shines in her ugly life….

Posted in:Blossom|Now

2008

11

Nov

Amy Winehouse in a Mesh Shirt Showing Off her Hot Body of the Day

Amy Winehouse is the new poster girl for American Apparel’s line of mesh clothing. I mean it’s probably not the endorsement any company would want, but this is American Apparel and as I’ve slowly gone from girls I want to fuck, to weird hipsters who I’d only fuck if they were giving me free cocaine, it’s just the natural step for the company to start dipping deeper into drug culture, and take shit from the whole casual party use, to life ruining, sucking dick on street corners, despite being famous drug use….so little girls everywhere, who think this brand is the best thing since Hannah Montana something to aspire to be….

I think she looks fucking hot, you know it’s pretty shitty that she’s put on the bra, but probably not as shitty as she’s feeling, you know with her face falling off, the fact that she looks fat or pregnant, and the clear sign that death is just around the corner, but usually find the underdog at the beauty pageant the hottest, I figured she knows she’s not worthy of a crown and that rejection leads to her begging for a facial, the non beauty pageant kind.

Either way, Winehouse is a talent and it’s nice to see she’s really living up to the star that she could have been by rejecting all that glitz and glam and taking it to the street.

On a side note, my friend who I call Amy Winehouse, because he’s a fucking wreck called me last night. I didn’t pick up the phone because when he calls it’s always about him. He never asks me what I am up to, he just asks for money or something to borrow to pawn, or to help get him out of a jam. I called him back today, telling him I was sorry because I know that with him, that call could have been his one call from prison after being arrested for being a nutcase, but he just said it wasn’t a big deal, a hooker died on him and he wanted my advice before calling the cops because he didn’t want to look suspect or get taken in for questioning after they figured out he solicited sex. I thought he was joking, so I said something like “i love all hookers, dead or alive, so long as they’re still warm” and he broke down crying admitting that he didn’t stop fucking her when she stopped moving.

I’ve been scouring the news for a dead hooker, and haven’t found shit, so I assume he was lying, or having one of his delusional drug incidents, but he claims he just got he fuck out of there and didn’t bother calling the police…so in a cheap motel room, some crackwhore is rotting…..and the whole thing is way to twisted for me…

I figured the story was a good fit to the way Winehouse is lookin in these pics….

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bra|Mesh|See Through

2008

11

Nov

Nikki Cox Shows Off Some Tit of the Day

Here’s soap star Nikki Cox showing some tit at some event, I figured it was appropriate, since soap stars are one step away from being pornstars. You know the bored housewives are rubbin one out to these low budget, shit acting, shit story bullshit everyday, so i figured I might as well give the husbands a chance to get off to the same shit their wives are, only without the bad acting, low budget shit stories. Then I realized that she’s probably not on a soap opera anymore, you probably aren’t married, hell, you probably haven’t had sex in months, an hopefully can’t jerk off to some cleavage, because if you can, that makes your story much sadder than I originally thought. But since we’ve come this far, I might as well throw this up there for you.

Posted in:Nikki Cox|Tit

2008

11

Nov

Some McCain Teenage Fans of the Day

Here’s a video of some teenage girls doing a typical teenage song and dance, only instead of mouthing the words to Britney Spears’ Womanizer or Rihanna, these bitches decided to get creative. They threw down some beat from some song and came up with their own lyrics, kinda what the black folk they hate so much would call a Freestyle. I guess the biggest disappointment wasn’t so much what they were saying about how the country is fucked because there’s a black president, but more the delivery. They should have written this shit out and practiced this shit in front of a mirror to make it bulletproof, instead they put up their first audition and shit’s a fuckin’ mess. They aren’t even old enough to be hot and half naked, so I didn’t really make it past “he’s black, he’s black, he’s black” or whatever the fuck they are saying and they cut off the best joke, which was assigning people to make Obama christmas ornaments so he can hang from a tree where he belongs, maybe a typical, uncreative “nigger” joke, but still has some merit of being a vulgar/offensive joke, unlike everything else, because the only thing offensive in this is their shitty production value.

I guess given their level of intelligence, it’s pretty impressive that they were able to turn on their webcam, another thing that is impressive, that their family, who probably instilled this value system into them can afford a webcam, because the biggest vocally racist people are usually not tech savvy or financially capable of buying computers…but busy working blue collar or their farms, bitter that there are richer black people than them…

Either way, watch the video, it’s pretty much worthless, and that’s something I am sure you can relate to.

Posted in:Fans|McCain

2008

11

Nov

Katy Perry’s Busting Out of Her Shirt of the Day

I hate being fat. This morning i was walking around and saw a plastic bag filled with sloppy fucking pizza. I assume it was someone’s lunch that they accidentally dropped, or it was some kind of predator hunting for fat people, but shit almost worked on me. I saw it, and despite not knowing who it belonged to, where it came from, how long it had been there, and whether it was poisoned, my initial instinct was to bring in home, brush it off and give it to my wife to test before eating it myself. The I realized that my paranoia would have me in the corner hugging my knees thinking I was drugged and dying or self-induced hallucinating, that would probably lead to me running down the street naked, then getting arrested and institutionalized after they realize that it was all in my head and not actually the affect of a drug and picking up food in plastic bags, no matter how good it looks, is disgusting, and it’d be better to just order a pizza with my wife’s credit card, but I decided to bring it up for my wife, put it on a plate and stick it in the fridge so that when she gets home it’ll be the first thing she eats, without asking, because she’s a sneaky fat girl like that, who thinks if she hides the cookies and eats them without anyone knowing, it’s like she didn’t actually eat them at all, one of those tree falling in the forest situations, only she still gets fat regardless….and I will be very happy when she asks where the pizza came from, after eating half of it, to tell her I found it on the street corner next to a pile of dog shit….she’ll freak.

Speaking of fat, here’s some pictures of Katy Perry showing off her tits, because like all fat chicks, she like to show them off and draw attention to herself, so guys notice them and makes her feel like they are noticing her making her think they she has some value, instead of the looks of disgust she used to get growing up every time she was seen eating in public, before she undeservingly got famous….

Bonus – Here’s a Picture of her a some Perez Hilton lookin’ motherfucker in his underwear because a Katy Perry show is the equivalent of seeing Perez Hilton in his underwear…

On a side note, Katy Perry is fake friends with Perez because she like the media attention and being written about by him, like a slut dating a man with a fat wallet, Katy Perry is an opportunist, which is pretty obvious if you look at where she’s got based on what she’s produced, it just doesn’t make sense…without sucking the right dick, or being a lonely man with a powerful website’s friend…here’s the video.

Either way, I hate this cunt. I hate that she is famous and I hate the song she sings that haunts my dreams….

Here’s her Hot n Cold Video being annoying…

Here’s some 16 year old girl making her own Hot n Cold Video because I make people famous sometimes….

Posted in:Katy Perry|Tits

2008

11

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

So I went out, got drunk and did things this past weekend. The first night I decided to fuck around a bit, so I go to some packed bar, I find the quietest corner and drink myself stupid alone. Once wasted, I start calling girls over and I tell them that I am Heath Ledger and the whole overdose thing was a lie because I wanted some privacy and it seemed like a good idea. So since my “retirement”, I’ve gained lots of weight and lost my Australian accent and aged 10 years you should try it, it really gets them topless if you consider them telling you to fuck yourself getting topless.

Here are my links..

A Mayor You’d Like to Fuck
GO

Mischa Barton Shows Off her Bush
GO

Reclaiming the Blade!!
GO

Mariah Carey Needs To Think About Making a Career Change
GO

Kate Moss is See Through
GO

Brooke Hogan Has Finally Found Her Calling as a Whore….
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Keeley Hazell Wants to Take You For a Ride
GO

Dropping Spiders!!
GO

Who Doesn’t Love a Girl Next Door?
GO

Entrouage’s Hottest Porn Stars
GO

Kate Beckinsale Makes You Wanna Have Sex With Her
GO

Martha Stewart Wants to Cook You Turkey
GO

Britney Spears Drugs Her Kids…
GO

How To: Steal a Car
GO

Get Laid in Ways You Never Thought Possible
GO

Divers Make a Funny Face
GO

Hillary Duff Horse Face
GO

Bring Your Rain Coat, It’s Squirting Time
GO

This Will Make Your Day Even Brighter
GO

Some Krista Allen Sex Scene…
GO

Your Amateur Monday Moment
GO

This Will Make You Feel Better About Your Life
GO

Lohan Finally Admits the Obvious
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Some Drunk Horse Statue Riding…
GO

Jayden James Almost Died
GO

Scare Prank Fail
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

FHM’s Search For the Hottest Hairdresser in Lingerie the Kristy Edition
GO

How to Get PWNT
GO

Was the Right, Right?
GO

Hot Chicks Set the Pub On Fire!!
GO

And Robots Will Rule the Rule
GO

Let’s Just Say FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
GO

Rally Car Crash Off
GO

Karolina Kurkova Wants You To Look At Her Legs
GO

Just Call Her THE FLASH!
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Let’s See Harry Potter’s Peen
GO

Some Fat Guy Gets Owned on a Diving Board…
GO

Nicole Kidman Is Gonna Sport a Peen
GO

The Big Black Hole!
GO

The Top 7 Rock Stars That Need an Ass-Kicking:
GO

Billy Goat Extreme!!
GO

Evan Rachel Woods Tries to Save Face By Saying Mickey Rourke Didn’t Molest Her
GO

Tera Patrick Showers Up
GO

How to Throw Knives
GO

It’s Not What it Looks Like
GO

Some LA Chicks Dressed Like Slutty Girl Scouts…
GO

Some Hospital Nurse Posing With a Premature Baby in Her Pocket..
GO

New Bond Girl Olga Kurylenko Shwoing Off her Ttis and Pussy
GO

Get Obama Inside you..Like Really Inside You…
GO

RIP Motherfucker the Playboy Model/WAG Edition…..Pretty Sad
GO

Harry Potter’s Hairy Pot…..Fucking a Chick on Stage…
GO

Drunk Girl Gets Her Head Shaved
GO

The Top 10 Video Game Vixens:
GO

Urban Kayaking!
GO

ENTER THE EAGLES OF DEATH METAL FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS, BACKSTAGE PASSES AND TIME WITH THE BAND….
GO

Some Dude Gets Waxed on Times Square

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

10

Nov

Mel B in a Bikini in Egypt of the Day

Mel B from Dancing with the Stars Fame was out in a bikini in Egypt with her husband, because when I think of amazing vacation spots, Egypt always comes to mind. I mean I don’t think about a dessert and a bunch of Jew slaves building pyramids and camels, or arab chicks in bed sheets, I think bikinis, girls gone wild and Tara Reid, but then again I am not as cultured or worldly as this Mel B chick, proven the fact that the bikini I am wearing at the moment is just a pair of boxers that are way too small for my fat ass, while on the couch in my shitbox apartment I call home, because i try to keep my clothes on for national security, even though I am too irrelevant to affect a nation, proven by the fact that I am not the one gallivanting around the world half naked and in love because she’s made great progress from the her slave ancestors….they would be proud.

Posted in:Bikini|Mel B|Scary Spice

2008

10

Nov

Amanda Bynes Pink Panties of the Day

I don’t know what happened to Amanda Bynes by she looks like a guy I know who had a serious nut allergy and who we decided to rub nuts all over his hands and face when he passed out drunk to see if he was drunk, unfortunately one of our friends got the whole plan wrong and we ended up walking in on him lookin’ like he was taking part in the world’s worst porno, but when we got it all sorted out and he got his dick back in his pants, we got to work and it turns out after being hospitalized for our antics, that he did in fact have an allergy to nuts. I mean his face swelled the fuck up and dude stopped breathing…..but yeah, that’s what Amanda Bynes’ swollen face looks like, but her pink panties are a good enough distraction from the bloated face….so I am posting it…

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Panties|Upskirt

2008

10

Nov

Lindsay Lohan and Her Fat Friend of the Day

Lohan is really taking this pretending to be a lesbian shit seriously, because women who like women, unlike men who like woman, are accepting of fat chicks. It’s like girls are all emotional and understanding not to mention like all things that make them look skinnier than they actually are via comparisson, and can see the person for who they are and not be phased by the horrible way someone looks. It’s like they share a special bond with each other, and that bond is that their period making them see past the impending heart attack, diabetes and varicose veins and overall no possible sex appeal, I mean even if she was the last pussy on earth, we’d rather jerk off, and have no problem climbing up a very thick thigh and crawling to a very big vagina, because the hefty person it’s attached to is a nice person beneath all the layers of fat and because crawling back into mommy’s woman is the basis of lesbianism…at least when coupled with not being able to land a man or being abused by a man….

As a man who is married to an obese woman, I can say that there is a reason why normal guys alienate them and put pressure on woman to try to keep fit, and that reason is the smells that come out of those hard to reach areas…..

So my theory that fat lesbians are lesbians because other girls are the only ones willing to give them they love they always wanted and fake lesbians are fake lesbians because of all the male attention they get from it remains truth.

Now I don’t know if this beast of a girl is actually one of Lohan’s vaginas she fucks, or if it’s a fan who won the make a wish foundation, or if it’s Lohan’s fashion accessory to make her look skinner than the cocaine does, or if it’s a relative or old friend who emotionally ate her way to this mess because her friend Lohan always got all the attention from boys leading her to realize life just isn’t fair and the fatter she got, the more people wanted to stay the fuck away from her, because people are superficial and judgmental, but a box of oreo cookies aren’t, but I do know that she’s got a body only a lesbian can like because she’s probably a nice girl, since her bikini body’s not really working on her side and she has to find something of value…..

Posted in:Fat|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan