I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

08

Oct

The Paparazzi Don’t Just Own Pictures Anymore – They Own Stories of the Day

I have been having issues with the paparazzi for a long fucking time. They hit me up for using their pictures all the fucking time, and despite hating them for annoying me, I get what they are doing, because it is their business and they are the ones who own the images by law. Morally, I still don’t think it’s right and if I find something on the internet for my personal blog, I should be allowed to post it and comment on it. I feel like with these copyright regulations my hands are tied behind my back, like I can’t talk about things I want to talk about, because they want 500 dollars an image and to me, that is wrong, it is extortion, especially coming from scum like them.

To me, the internet is a place to exchange information and ideas and shouldn’t be regulated, but I am old school like that, and those days are a thing of the past as bigger companies move in on the shit, but regardless of our moral disagreement, I still get their side of the story and I still take down the pictures when I get notices, because the pictures are something tangible that belongs to them.

I won’t ever pay those assholes the insane prices that don’t really make any sense for a site that makes no money to pay, unless this site starts making some money, but when this email was forwarded to me I had no choice but to post it.

We have sold a story to TMZ.com about Gerard Butler attacking our photographer. If you want to run anything on this story please contact me…crediting TMZ should not be done. If anyone runs a story on it we will negotiate a fee.

thanks,

Sales Manager
INF (Insight News & Features)
321 West 44th Street, Suite 702
New York, NY 10036
Ph: 212.582.0066
Fx: 212.582.0498

The fucking paparazzi are selling stories now. They want fucking money for a fucking story they think they broke about someone no one gives a fuck about. They don’t want us crediting TMZ, they want to get paid. So now, the paparazzi are trying to control and profit off fucking stories and if we get caught mentioning their story, or linking to their story, we get fuckin’ billed for it.

I find that fucking INSANE, it makes no fucking sense to me. That means that if I read something on another site, I can’t write about it because I don’t own the rights to talk about it. Fuck them.

For the record, I’ve broken my fair share of stories to the internet over the last bunch of years, and still haven’t seen a fucking dime from it, I don’t see how these people can legally get away with what they are doing. It just makes no sense.

On a side note, I know a girl who banged Gerard Butler when he was filming 300 in Montreal and he had turned down drinking and coke for the role so he wasn’t all that fun to hang out with. If you use this story, feel free to send a check my way. I may throw in the nude shots of him that I’ve been sitting on for 2 -3 years, because I don’t run that kind of site, but we’ll have to negotiate.

Posted in:Paparazzi Scum

2008

08

Oct

Katy Perry Performs on Leno and Her Fans are Creepy of the Day

I have been confused as to who likes Katy Perry, because I know that I don’t but there’s got to be people who do, otherwise she wouldn’t be around all the fucking time, leading to me hating her in the first place. I thought maybe it was teenage girls, who liked the bubble gum factor and could relate since they are going through that whole kissing each other phase you masturbate to, then I thought maybe it was office types, who never got wild and kissed a girl, and live vicariously through Katy Perry’s experience while bored at the office, then I was thinking it was mainstream people, who just like what they are told to like, the same people who watch American Idol and buy the Clay Aiken CDs, thinking that there’s something wrong with them if they don’t like the song, and I always forgot that there’s probably a lot of creepy motherfuckers listening to this song, while watching teenage girls on YouTube dancing around in their underwear, you know, the same kind of dude who finds out that Katy Perry is on Leno and sets up his camera to document the performance to archive for later use on YouTube and really enjoying the whole snuff film feel of the whole thing, because it is similar to what he would shoot to document their wedding video, if he ever had the chance to kidnap the bitch and bring her to his cabin in the woods and marry her against her will in hopes of spending the rest of their lives together, before realizing he’s going to go to jail, and if he can’t have her, no one will, so he kills her off to get rid of the evidence, making him a hero in my books, just a really creepy, psycho hero who deserves life in prison for liking her enough to do all this to her in the first place. If you know what I mean.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Leno

2008

08

Oct

Marisa Miller Does Harley Ads of the Day

Comments Off

I am not attracted to chicks who ride motor bikes. They are the same kind of girls who drink beer and like bar brawls. They fuck you like crazy because the vibrations of their motorbikes make them walking verge of cumming sluts, but they are rarely fucking hot and when they are hot, they are usually lesbian or into wearing Ed Hardy and getting shitty tattoos and fake tits, and that shit just doesn’t do it for me. Maybe I’m too picky, but I’m more into girls who are scared of the world and want guidance, not ones who want to grab life by the balls and see where the road takes them.

I understand what Harley’s doing in bookin’ Marisa Miller to be their hot biker slut, simulating sex on one of their bikes like a lame poster or calendar you’d find at a mechanic’s garage in the 80s, but motorbikes just makes me think of fat chicks who like wrestling and pulling out their fat tits when drunk, the same kind of girl who would rape you if she crossed you in a dark alley and I can’t really see past that, watch the video of some biker slut I saw when on a drive with a friend, be careful though, shit’s hotter than DJ AM’s skin, and I hear that’s so hot it’s melting.

Posted in:Harley Ad|Marisa Miller|stepTV|Uncategorized

2008

08

Oct

Ashley Tisdale Ugly Watch of the Day

I don’t like that Ashley Tisdale is giving us the sex eyes because she isn’t hot, it is actually pretty fucking offensive. If she really wanted to turn us on, she would have never left the house, or maybe she would have pulled her hair in front of her face like she was Cousin It, or she’d rock a Richard Nixon mask while running around screaming that she’s not a crook naked, or something that could at least let us focus on her vagina for a couple of minuts and forget what it’s attached to.

It’s like the typical ugly chick who doesn’t know she’s ugly because she hangs with girls who are uglier than her and her entourage always tell her how good looking sh eis and ends up living in an imaginary fantasy world, where all the boys want her and not her friends and she develops the self confidence to not kill herself or just embrace the fact that she’s ugly and becoming a comedian, because that’s what ugly people in Hollywood are supposed to do. Playing this sex symbol to 13 year olds is just going to fuck up the system, making boys think this is hot, leading to ugly girls getting boyfriends when they are supposed to stay at home friday nights knitting with their moms a few years down the road or even worse….homosexuality.

On a side note, happy Yom Kippur to Ashley Tisdale and all the Jews out there. The man on the radio just let me know that you all have to fast. Good luck with that and remember it’s a small price to pay for legal, medical and entertainment careers that pay lots of money, so it’s worth the struggle, despite the whining I am sure all your Jew houses are going to hear tonight, you know whimpers about how hungry you are and how light headed you are and how you think you’re going to die if you don’t get a fucking bagel in you, so for that struggle, I’d like to dedicate this post to all of yous jews.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Ugly

2008

08

Oct

Rosario Dawson at Newsweek’s Fourth Annual Women and Leadership Conference of the Day

I wasn’t invited to the Fourth Annual Women and Leadership conference, but Rosario Dawson was asked to attend this feminist shit, because I guess no one else answered their calls, considering her career involves being a Hollywood slut and has done nothing much for leadership, other than telling one of the dudes she’s fucking that they need more coke, but maybe I don’t represent the ideal feminist, and just can’t relate to them or understand their logic,maybe I am what feminists are against and part of the reason they have been holding Women and Leadership conferences the last four years, coincidentally the same amount of time I’ve been writing this site, but I think it’s perfectly normal to look at these pictures and try to look up Rosario Dawson’s skirt, I mean who really cares what she’s saying, we care about her pussy, so unless it’s her pussy’s doin’ the talkin, I’m not listening. I mean if girls used their vaginas as puppets and made them lips mouth the words coming out of their mouths, I’m sure we’d actually listen to them and we wouldn’t need this whole feminist movement. I guess the only way to find out is if you ladies out there start practicing in front of your mirror and cameras because I want video evidence in the next 24 hours to see if my theory is right.

This post has been brought to you in part by Sam Ronson.

Posted in:Feminst Garbage|Rosario Dawson

2008

08

Oct

McCain Refused to Shake Obama’s Hand of the Day

I guess he doesn’t want his racist supporters thinking he’s down with black muslim people, you know considering them citizen’s and all, because if he did shake Obama’s hand he’d have a lot of ‘splainin’ to do to the hicks of America who make up the majority of his supporters, as to why he touched them there Aye-Rab Negro, knowing that Aye-Rab Negros are trying to explode America. I do have to give him some credit for making his wife do his dirty work, it’s like that time I shit the bed when drunk and refused to clean it up, because I thought it would lead to my wife being disgusted enough to sleep on the floor where she belongs, but instead she just changed the sheet, not to suggest that black muslim’s are the equivalent to shit, but they are to McCain, at least that’s what this video’s telling me….and videos don’t lie.

Posted in:2008|Debate|Election|McCain|Obama|Politics

2008

08

Oct

Kristen Bell’s Political Poem of the Day

I hate Kristen Bell. She is boring. Here she is doing some bullshit campaign for Gap that made me hate her more.

I wrote a poem, even though I hate poems and find them really fucking gay, but I did it because I had no choice and it turns out that it’s a lot better than this candy-coated Gap bullshit that she sold her soul for a dollar to the Gap Devils like she was Perez Hilton….and it goes like that.

For all the virgins and the guy’s who like comics
For All the married men who’s wive’s make them vomit

For All the men that don’t do men and the girls who are just like them
For All the bored and the social outcasts who are forgotten

For All the porn addicts and the rapists
For All the guys who like to wear bracelets

For All the losers who masturbate a lot
and all the guys who have contemplated fucking a robot

Those who can’t talk and those who can’t write
There’s a way you can help and try to do right
Take of your shirt and even your skirt
Spread your little pussy and make it squirt

Squirt for for those who can’t squirt at all
Or those who have only see one pussy that was their mom’s
if only for one tuesday late in the fall….

Squirt for those who can’t.

drunkenstepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

08

Oct

Halle Berry is the Sexiest Woman Alive According to Esquire Magazine of the Day

I was walking down a street yesterday and came across a store going out of business with a sign indicating that everything was on sale. It was some kind of antique store that I would normally not notice, but it happened to have a giant Jesus statue in the window and I thought it was a sign from god, so I walked inside. The place was like a magical garage sale, filled with random crap and I asked the guy how much the Jesus statue was and he turned to me and said that it wasn’t for sale, I decided to look through the rest of his shit, because I had nothing better to do and figured since I was already in there, I might as well and that’s when I overheard another browsing shopper ask how much a lamp was and dude said that it wasn’t for sale, so I started flipping the products over to see the prices and everything was 1,000 dollars, even a jar full of marbles and I realized that this motherfucker didn’t want to sell anything, he was just a creepy collector and I was in serious need of some hand sanitizer, because creepy collectors masturbate a lot and I could only assume, he used his random junk instead of his hand because he loved it so much and would never let it leave his side….

I think the editors at Esquire who have just named Halle Berry the Sexiest Woman Alive have the same psychiatric disorder as my friend the antique dealer because it seems like they just can’t figure out how to move the fuck on. Sure she’s hot, but she’s old and a mom and it’s time to bring some new blood to the bed sheets by devirginizing some prime pussy, not pussy that’s already seen it’s fair share of babies and cock, but I guess that’s all a matter of opinion….and mine, as I’ve discovered over the years, is pretty much worthless.

Posted in:Esquire|Halle Berry|Sexiest Woman Alive

2008

08

Oct

Lindsay Lohan’s Tits Keep Gettin’ Bigger and Bigger With Lesbianism of the Day

Lohan’s tits are big and she’s slowly wasting away and getting skinnier. I am sure it has nothing to do with sitting around all day doing blow instead of eating, because she seems like the kind of girl who would really commit to a drug free life as she has so much stimulating shit to do during a Tuesday that she needs to bring her A-Game to, like sleep all day and go shopping in the afternoon for an hour before going home and ordering in dinner, watching some TV and dyking out all night.

Maybe I am wrong and this is just further proof that she has implants, because those fuckers are pretty spectacular, especially considering she isn’t wearing a bra, because like all lesbians she’s liberated and won’t give into man’s convention of strapping her tits down, but I think it’s more to do with being cockhungry and starving for male attention and this being the only way to get it, otherwise Samantha will take it out on her with their double-sided dildo.

Who knows and who really cares, other than Ronson who gets to play with them and Lohan who is dying for dick, because I know that I don’t give a fuck and can only assume that today, we are one step closer to the end of celebrity blogs as people slowly start to lose interest and re-focus on their own lives, leaving me worse off than I am now, but that’s okay, I think it’s better for mankind and I’ll just turn to prostitution like other people with failed dreams…..I am okay with that.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Tits

2008

08

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Pretty Fucking Useless of the Day

The quality of this video is shit, but since I have a bunch of you who are into this slob, I figured I’d post it to remind you that she is neither hot nor serves a purpose beyond letting black guys piss on her. She is one of those uneducated, ill-informed, waste of space, who offers nothing to the world. In her defense, maybe her brain has been suffocated by fat tits and fat ass and the cum she’s choked on all these years. Maybe she has syphilis and it’s driving her CRAAAAZY, or maybe she’s just always been a spoiled cunt raised by a materialistic wallet fucking mother while her immigrant father was busy making money to buy his kids ponies, who fucking knows, but I do know that she just lives her self-absorbed life, worrying about what to wear and finding something to fit her ridiculously shaped body and figuring out how to make time to visit her boyfriend in New Orleans and has no real concern for anything beyond her spoiled brat self and you are all feeding this bitch’s ego, which is better than feeding her dinner because I hear you need a trough for that.

I suggest if you own a TV, watch the fucking debates, especially if you are someone in the public eye, because you might get asked some questions about it and it’s just better to have an opinion versus a useless “I don’t do politics, but I do do amateur porn” attitude. Today, I continue to hate Kardashian. How are you doing?

Here is the debate for you with an hour and a half to waste, I didn’t watch it because I am not American and don’t care, but I think you should.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Uneducated.

2008

07

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

I was walking down the street and I see this fat girl, who was clearly trying to get in shape, decked out fully in her workout gear, riding home from work on a bike, and as she got to the intersection, either a car cut her off, or she lost her balance and she fell hard. Now the difference between a fat person and a not so fat person falling, is that we don’t morph into safety fall instinctively, we are slow and have shitty reflexes and we always go down fuckin’ hard. She didn’t die, but she was humilated, hurt and crying and it broke my heart as much as it made me laugh on the inside. Let’s hope these links have a similar affect on you, and when you’re done, you don’t have to go home, throw your workout clothes in the garbage because God doesn’t want you to be skinny and he sent you a pretty clear message to give it up, call your mom and cry to her about how shitty your day was and how you can never get ahead, then eat that pint of ice cream you’ve been dreaming about….like the girl I saw fall today.

Here are my links:

The Witches on the View Are At It Again
GO

Human Wrecking Ball
GO

I Never Thought I Would Say This Again, But Britney Spears is Lookin’ Good
GO

The Best Moments of Jennifer Love Hewitts Tits
GO

I Know You’re Not Gonna Do Anything Else Worthwhile
GO

Some Aniston Bikini Pic You May Have Missed
GO

President Bush Brings Newsa of the Bailout to Gotham City
GO

The 15 Hottest Gun Loving Ladies
GO

Britney Spears is Paying the Price
GO

Lil Kim’s Big Fake Titty is JUST About to Pop Out
GO

Lookin’ Good Halle Berry
GO

If I Can’t Kill the Sluts from the Hills, I Guess Deporting Them is the Next Best Thing
GO

Russian Street Mob War
GO

Who Says That Whores Ain’t What They Used to Be?
GO

Hot Styles Presents Lookin’ Ass….
GO

Because We All Know That Blow Up Doll Has Way More Milage Then You Care to Admit
GO

Who Doesn’t Love a Good Jingle to Go Along With Their Favorite Toy?
GO

Hef’s Girls Next Door Are Dropping Like Flies
GO

Tetris Party!!!
GO

Sibling rivalry Knows No Bounds
GO

That’s Right Rachael Ray, Caress That Corn
GO

Soccer Fan Mishap
GO

Sarah Vandella is Your Naughty Dream Girl
GO

Why Hello Andi Valentino!
GO

Kristen Bell is Kind of Topless
GO

Charlize Theron May Lose 20 Million Dollars in a Lawsuit
GO

Porn That Makes Jerking Off Worthwhile
GO

Kim Kardashian Defends Her Fat Ass Once Again
GO

Fuck You Avril Lavigne
GO

Aurbey O’Day Whores It Up Some More
GO

striptease of the Day
GO

Tough Guy Harasses Reporter
GO

Kung Fu Election – The VP Edition
GO

Hey, Idiot, You Are Not a Formula One Driver
GO

Michelle B is All You Need
GO

Halle Berry Versus Kate Beckinsale
GO

I Guess If Youre Gonna Wear a Condom, Ultra Thin is the Way to Go?
GO

Hayden in Some Fuckable Positions
GO

New York Titties
GO

Beyonce Bikini Pictures Underwater
GO

Melissa Marie Gonsales Has an Ass Like No Other
GO

There is Something About Will and Jada That I Just Can’t Stand
GO

Relax You Ass, It’s Just a Video Game
GO

Swinging With Crissy Moran
GO

Miley Cyrus is the Most Important Person on the Planet
GO

The Playboy Cyber Girl of the Week
GO

How To: Cook Fake Vomit
GO

Sometimes Being a Cop Has It’s Advantages
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

07

Oct

Vanessa Minnilo Eating Some Frozen Yogurt of the Day

I am tired of writing this site, I am going to go sit outside the ice cream parlour and hope for hot young girls to come by, to do inappropriate things with dairy, but I know they never will show up because it’s fucking freezing here and the ice cream shops are all shut down for the winter, but I can pretend they aren’t by living through these pic tures of Vanessa Minnilo suckin’ back some Low Fat Frozen yogurt like a fat chick who just heard her favorite flavor’s been discontinued and she’s gotta get as much of it in her belly as possible before it’s too late. The kind of urgency that isn’t really urgent, but can ruin a fat girl’s life if she doesn’t act on it, but you don’t care about fat chicks, and either do I, and I am married to one that I’d sell at auction like the pig that she is, if I could, But you do care about Nick Lachey and whether this bitch treats Nick Lachey’s dick as well as she does this spoon, and that’s a little weird. Weirdo.

Posted in:Frozen Yogurt|Vanessa Minnilo

2008

07

Oct

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Shitty See Through Pictures of the Day

Like a good useless celebrity, Jennifer Love Hewitt made it out to Disneyland for Miley Cyrus’ birthday. It is rumored that she’s trying to cling onto her youth as hard as she can, but I have a feeling that she’s doing it for the cotton candy. She wore a shirt that could have been see-through, but wasn’t because Jennifer Love Hewitt’s wholesome, fat chick demeanor has vowed to never show her nipples to the world, because she’s not that kind of girl, she’s more of the kind of girl who prefers showing off her ability to empty a dessert tray at a restaurant in record times, but I know some of you still like her, god fucking knows why, maybe it’s because you aren’t too good at moving on and accepting the fact that her time is done, it’s not 1996 anymore, but that would also mean giving up your first car you got in high school, moving out of your parent’s house and even getting a job and you just aren’t ready for that. So let’s all pretend time stands still and ignore these see through pictures of Jennifer Love that aren’t see through.

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|See Through

2008

07

Oct

Aubrey O’Day Loves Dogs of the Day

I am a dog lover, like Aubrey O’Day is, only a different kind of dog lover. I think dogs are cool and fun to be around and less annoying than people are because as long as you feed them they love you and everytime you come home from wherever you’v been, they act fucking insane like you’re very own groupie at the concert you are headlining that is your life. I don’t have a dog, but Aubrey O’Day does and she loves it in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. I find it abusive and reminiscent of Jon Benet Ramsey, the Dog Version. I’m talking doing it up the way you want it to be done up with crazy hair and make-up, touching it inapprorpiately, then killing it off the second something new and exciting comes along.

She reminds me of a friend I had when I was 11, who was clearly a pyschopath and was bound to do some pretty sick shit to people unless he got help, the kind of kid who would hunt squirrels and disect them and shit for fun and one day when at his house he wanted to show me something cool and took me to his basement with his dog, where he proceeded to make out with it, touching tongues and grabbing at its dick and shit and turned to me offering me a turn because it was good practice for when we get with real chicks, and instead of taking him up on it, I got the fuck out of there and didn’t speak to him again.

I guess the only thing better about these pictures of Aubrey O’Day dyking out with her dog is that I can distract myself with her tits.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Dogs

2008

07

Oct

Katy Perry’s Fat Cleavage of the Day

Katy Perry claims to be a DD bra size and I don’t believe it. What I do believe is that at one point in time she was a DD bra size, back when she was eating and before she got way too famous for her own good with her stupid fucking music that rapes my fucking soul every time I hear it, and with trying to live with herself and her new found money, she turned to cocaine instead of donuts. She already looks less fat than she was 2 weeks ago and as the weight disappears so will her fat chick tits, until she ends up on the street corner selling blowjobs to pay for crack, where she belongs. She is last weeks kitchen garbage and cleavage or not, I’m ready for her to disappear, which isn’t saying much, because I hated her the second I heard that song, but it is saying something.

s

Posted in:cleavage|Katy Perry