I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2011

10

Feb

JWOWW has a Book Deal of the Day

It amazes me that someone who has probably never read a book, is now the author of a book. I am convinced that prior to this Jersey Shore bullshit, the only writing she did was on her BBM or her SMS text messages or maybe in Facebook chat or some shit….broken english…half retarded sounding in appreviations…and now she’s a fucking published author…I’d love to get some of the essays she submitted in community college when getting her hair colorist license…I am convinced it would be hysterical…but who am I to talk…I don’t have a bullshit publishing deal, I’ve never writen a book, I’m not a product of publishers struggling to stay relevant, handing out deals to any trash with traffic…

It also amazes me how haggard JWOWW is…but not as much as the fact that I know she exists…before this site…these trolls would go along happily .

Posted in:JWOWW

2011

10

Feb

Ali Larter Loving Her Mom TIts of the Day

Ali Larter had a kid and nobody cared cuz she’s only been on one movie…. Well maybe that’s not entirely true cuz I guess she’s a real person with a real family and has a real man who is really screwed cuz now his woman’s got a kid, the worst kind of STD, but I guess you can’t live your life in a negative place and sometimes you gotta look on the bright side, and in this case the bright side is her front side, cuz pregnancy has finally given her the tits she’s been waiting for since she was 12, sure it came with a price, like sacrificing her stomach and ass, but at least for now she’s like fucking a new chick to the baby daddy and that should keep him around a few more months….

Not that this matters in any way whatsoever…

Posted in:Ali Larter

2011

10

Feb

January Jones’ For the Farmer’s Daughters Fetishists of the Day

January Jones looks a lot like a 12 year old boy from the 70s about to jump on his BMX to save ET or some shit, but I’m not gonna play that angle, cuz that would be pedo shit, something I like to avoid, so I’ll just play this one up as a farmer’s daughter outfit for those of you who have serious issues and dream about one day having your car break down on some dusty country road, where a helpful farmer invites you to stay in his barn, only to have his busty, curious daughter jump your civilized city dwelling dick, only to get caught after you accidentally hurt one of the pigs, only to have the farmer come out shotgun in hand to chase you away pants around your ankles….

All this to say, January Jones is overrated and the only way she’s hot is if you’ve got a serious fucking imagination.

Posted in:January Jones

2011

10

Feb

Useless Sluts at a Low Level Charity Fashion Show of the Day

There’s nothing like a charity event that brings out all the biggest low level celebrities in one night…..I guess they work on a volume discount for discounted talent in volume mentality where 20 trashy idiots no one cares about or remember but who have been on TV for a minute or two…is far more cost effective than having one big name…cuz it’s a fashion show and they need models…otherwise the event would last 5 minutes…something I am sure every girl you’ve tried to get with both paid and unpaid is familiar with….

Bad jokes make the world go round…remember that…as you re-read this post for the gospel that it is.

Suzanne Somers Needs a Date with her Thighmaster….

Denise Richards Lookin’ Like a Fucking Monster

Eva Amuri not Showing Her Tits Even THough Her Tits are all that Matters….I mean other than her mother’s tits…

Dita Von Teese cuz She really doesn’t matter, if anything she scares the fuck out of me, if anything she’s overrated, if anything Burlesque is for ugly fat chicks with little creativity, if anything I remember her lesbian porn career…if anything, it was no good.

Audrina Patridge was Supposed to be in Red…But Was TOo Stupid to Figure that one out…

Patti Labelle brings the stupid faces and cleavage….

Posted in:Charity Event

2011

10

Feb

Hot Ass in a Gym Creeper Video of the Day

I am not the creeper in the gym, filming all the bitches in their tight clothes, but I have been to a gym, and the only reason I was into the gym, was cuz of all the bitches in their tight clothes, who would look at me in disgust as I threw up all over the elipitical in what must have been a mild heart attack…

That over a decade ago..and I don’t bother with the shit..cuz it just becomes consuming…you know girls of all ages, sweating and turning me the fuck on, making me obsessively think about hitting up their locker rooms with an awkward boner I tried hiding my whole workout I was faking but this video reminds me that I have the internet available to me and I don’t have to actually leave the house cuz I get all teh good parts emailed into me…allowing me to progressively work on being the fattest guy in town…hopefully landing a show on Oprah’s new network…

Here’s some gym pussy…in video…thanks to some creep.

Posted in:amateur

2011

10

Feb

stepNEWS of the Day

Like Barbara Walters, I bring the hard hitting journalism, but unlike Barbara Walters, I don’t have a hot dried up vagina that looks so big but feels so tight due to lack of lubrication. It’s all about the friction people…

Here is the latest stepNEWS…

Harry Baals is the Best Named Building Ever

Adult Film Awards Draws Protesters
It’s award season… and that includes the porn industry. The XBIZ Adult Film Awards were handed out at the Palladium in Hollywood. The ceremony also drew a crowd of protesters promoting safe sex even though condoms fucking suck…

Naked Driver Hits Center City Pedestrian
Philadelphia police are on the scene at 17th and JFK Boulevard after a bizarre accident involving a pedestrian and a woman not wearing any clothes.

Butt Implant Victim Wanted Hip Hop Career
The U.K. tabloid The Sun has the first images of the British woman who died after a silicone injection at a Philadelphia hotel, and a motive for why she wanted a butt implant procedure.

Teen strangles mother while driving, killing her before car crash
A bad crash shuts down a valley intersection and a car’s passenger was pronounced dead at the scene. Now there’s a twist in the case as police say it wasn’t the crash that killed her. We all have family issues!!

Boy fires rifle into neighbor’s home
A 10-year-old boy may be facing charges for allegedly firing his father’s rifle into a neighbor’s home.

Adult store launches ‘guns for toys’
HUNTSVILLE, A.L. – An adult novelty shop in Alabama has come up with a sexy way to prevent crime.

NY Rep. Lee Sends Sexy Pictures to Woman, Resigns
A married New York congressman accused of sending a shirtless photo of himself to a woman abruptly resigned his seat Wednesday, saying he was quitting because he regretted actions that had hurt his family and others

Texas woman finds razor blade in ice cream cuz it’s a good way to make money….

Detroit Teacher Busted for Drugs

Trick Shot Quarterback Johnny McEntee
Johnny McEntee may not be the starting quarterback for the University of Connecticut football team, but he is definitely becoming a star off the field, becoming a YouTube sensation with his amazing trick shot football throws.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

10

Feb

Brooklyn Decker’s Ugly Face Doesn’t Matter in a Bikini of the Day

I guess the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition is about to hit, cuz they are on the promotional kick, which involves releasing pictures of bitches in bikinis who are meant to be in bikinis, cuz they fill them out the way bikinis are meant to be filled out, but all I see is Brooklyn Decker, a bitch who definitely has the tits for the job, but a face that looks like it was run through “Photobooth” on her mac. All inbred and retarded and shit, and sure that can be ignored when she’s half naked and showing her huge tits….I blame her marrying Andy Roddick, cuz his people are probably the best in the industry when it comes to sports management and sports agents, the kind of people who probably have Sports Illustrated by the fucking balls….which whould explain all the play she gets…unless people have a think for inbred retard looking bitches…which is possible…

Posted in:Brooklyn Decker

2011

10

Feb

Alessandra Ambrosio does Pilates of the Day

As a fat man who doesn’t like doing much more than sitting. Who considers the increased heart rate from a bad hangover to be working out. Who gets out of breath in what must be an asthma attack, or just an fat attack when walking to the bathroom from the comfort of my seated position….I like to see bitches training, cuz bitches have a responsiblity to upkeep their sex appeal while dudes have a responsiblily to make a lot of money to fuck those bitches, while I have a responsibility to post the shit, cuz unfortuantely that’s not how it always works out and some of us dudes are broke and some of us dudes have fat pig wives who aren’t what we thought they’d be after marriage, who collectively got together with their girlfriends and said “after the first baby, we eat and fucking eat til we can’t eat anymore, cuz all these years we’ve deprived ourselves”….so it’s nice to fantasies about the ones who kept their end of the deal….whether a multi-million dollar modeling contract was involved in motivation her or not is irrelevant…

Send these pictures to your wife saying – “Look at these pictures, why isn’t this you, oh right, cuz she’s not eating a chocolate cake, and is actually working out, you fat pig, who lied to me…you fraud bitch….”

It is Valentines Day after all….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2011

10

Feb

Vanessa Hudgens Wet in Details of the Day

The biggest news of the day thus far is Vanessa Hudgens posing in Details, which is funny because I don’t think anyone knows who she is anymore, but if you want a refresher, she is the girl from Highschool Musical who was dating a gay for the sake of Disney’s contract with her, which I guess is up cuz now she’s single….but more importantly, she posed in some self-shot nudes, that I doubt were staged cuz she woulda waxed….making her a hero in the eyes of perverts everywhere…hoping her influence on girls transcends generations…

Here she is in Details, doing what she does best, whoring.


To See The Rest of the Pictures Follow THis Link
GO

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens