I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

25

May

The Reason You Should Be a Successful Film Producer of the Day

If you ever had doubts about you capabilities of getting a woman. You know because you have a small dick, or because to date no girls have really given you much attention, you need to brush your loser shoulders off and figure out a way to make money. I’m not telling you anything you didn’t already know, but pussy likes cash, they claim it is instinctive because of some survival about bringing a baby into the world, but I think it’s got more to do with hot bitches being lazy and used to getting everything they want and unfortunately the things they want cost money, because they feel like they are celebrities or at least deserve a celebrity lifestyle, so that’s why this big studio exec, and I mean big in his jean size, who’s made his fortune off making a ton of huge movies, has a bitch who is substantially better lookin than his fat, bald, jewish ass, I mean sure she may be with him for his great sense of humor, but I’m going with that she isn’t.

So get off the computer and figure out your hustle, while I stay on the computer, cuz I don’t need a fuckin’ hustle, I’m comfortable in my serious unhappiness and very lazy, unless it comes down to showing the kid in the wheelchair how good my quick my tap dancing feet are to make me feel better about myself…..

Posted in:Bikini|Georgina Chapman|Harvey Weinstein

2009

23

May

stepLINKS of the Day

It’s the long weekend. That means the only people who will read this are lonely losers with no family, friends or money to get the fuck aways from their computer for the weekend. Welcome to my life.

The good news is that in efforts to get wasted last night, I fell asleep at 9 pm and only woke up an hour ago. Thank you Oxy, or whatever the fuck that pill the sketchy skinny convulsing dude gave me was, you and pussy are by far my favorite addictions.

I don’t think I am hungover anymore, but I do think that these are my stepLINKS.

Lookin Good Sweetheart The Hayden Panettiere Vagina Edition
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Because There Is No Fucking Way You’ll Meet a Real Girl Tonight
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Fuck World History, check Out the HISTORY OF WEEEEEEED!!!
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Get YOUR Swine Flu Shot
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Liz Hurley is All Her MILF Glory
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What the Fuck is Paris Hilton Doing in Cannes?
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Can You Say Death Wish?
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The Celebrity Gender Switch Experiment
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Mariah Carey is See Through!
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Ready For a Dirty Joke?
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When Will Ferrel Interviews Dustin Hoffman…
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Striptease of the Day
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Well, I Just Threw Up in My Mouth a Little
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what the Fuck of the Day
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Dita Von Tease Dresses Like a Dirty Whore in Cannes Cause She’s a Class Act
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I Kind of Have a Thing For Zhang Ziyi
You Know, The Hot Bitch From Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon
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Taylor Momsen is a Hot Mess
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Mischa Barton is On Meth or Something
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Quentin Tarantino Drugged Brad Pitt
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Christina Julie is Totally Nude
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The Ass That Broke The Window
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Amy Winehouse is Still a Fucking Mess
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Hannah Hilton Does What She Does Best
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Eliza Dushku Does Maxim Magazine
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AHHHHHH Dani Woodword
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Part 2
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India Reynolds Is Naked
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Slut Gets Naked In Nature
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Jon’s Wifes is a Fucking Cunt and I’m Glad He Hates Her As Much As I Do
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Sit Back, Relax, And Enjoy The Show
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Pheobe Price is Disgusting and I Wish She Was Dead
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Watch is There Darlings, Looks Like You Lost Something
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56 Insanely Hot Indy Car Grid Girls
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Mommy Wants to Play Too
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Notorious B.R.A.D.Y
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Hot Chicks Get Naked and Rub Themselves Down. God Bless Spring Break
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Retard Tits Anyone?
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I Spy With My Little Eye, Paris Hilton Doing Something Illegal
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Cookie Monster Metal!!
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Cleveland is the Worst Place to Visit Ever
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Site of the Day – MSPAINTPORN.NET

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

22

May

Hayden Panettiere is Still on Vacation of the Day

Hayden Panettiere is still on vacation, or maybe this is working, considering celebrities live the laziest fucking life, unlike me, who is up all day sitting on my couch, taking beer bottles back to buy more beer, or maybe even a can of beefaroni, because like a celebrity I need a personal chef, unfortunately my chef is named Chef Boyardee and he makes his mass produced shit with the most ghetto ingredients to make it affordable, I suck at life and here’s Hayden ownin’ hers in a white bikini, which coincidentally is my favorite color bikini because I am ususally able to spot pussy and I am sure I’ve said this before, but I am a fan of pussy.

Posted in:Bikini|Hayden Panettiere|Vacation

2009

22

May

Blake Lively in her Romper of the Day

Blake Lively was out in a romper last night, which is a coincidence because so was the girl I followed home to jerk off on her fire escape watching her make dinner.

Posted in:Blake Lively|Romper

2009

22

May

Kate Moss’ Fashion Line for Topshop’s Got Nipple of the Day

I downloaded these pics of Kate Moss’ new line at some store called Topshop blindly, thinking they’d all be of nipple, I was wrong. It happens. Often.

Posted in:Kate Moss|Nipple|Topshop

2009

22

May

Happy Birthday Jordan of the Day

It was Jordan’s birthday, I’m not sure how old she is but I think her tits are about 2 years old. I am sure everyone made that joke today. I am not creative, but Jordan’s plastic surgeon is, so I guess we’ll let him be the star of this post, even though she’s covered the fuck up for once.

Posted in:Happy Birthday|Jordan|Tits

2009

22

May

The Kardashian’s Posing With Bikinis in their New Store of the Day

The Kardashians had to thicken the plot of their TV show, since it has the depth of a fuckin’ puddle, so they moved to Miami and opened up a store there. I think it would have done better if one of them was killed off or disappeared when flying a small plane over the Bermuda triangle, where the others go to find her, only to end up disappearing too, forcing whoever produces this to stop the fucking abuse.

I guess this is like some basic National Lampoon shit, get the bitches in another city, to pretend to run a store, only with less Chevy Chase and more Ed Hardy T-shirts because I drove down to Miami 5 or 6 years ago with a friend and that shit was on the next level of bottle service, Guido chachi motherfuckers throwing napkins drinking 20 dollar drinks, if not rockin’ Magnums of Goose, and can only assume it’s a hell of a lot worse now…

The whole thing is at the point of ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as Khloe Kardashian holding up a bikini like she can actually pull it off in public, you know since she’s a fucking beast, not that you care and either do I. and I’m only posting it because Khloe is posing with a bikini and as disgusting as that is, it’s porn to me.

Posted in:Kardashians|Miami

2009

22

May

Switchin’ Things Up with Jean Claude Van Damme in His Panties of the Day

Here’s Jean Claude Van Damme acting like an attention whore, prancing around in his panties like the little slut that he is, hoping to get in the tabloids because it is good for his self esteem. He was a hug action star man, he made big fucking money, all the girls wanted to get in his pants and all the guys wanted the be in his pants and all the gay guys wanted to be his pants, and now he’s just a nobody.

If you’re wondering why I am posting homo shit, you know men in their brief, it’s partially because I find french men about as masculine as the average woman, not quite as masculine as the two dykes having a beer chugging contest on the street yesterday, so posting him in his panties is probably something worth celebrating, because it means he’s not bottomless, but it is also because anyone who says they never got hard watching one of his movies and because I am taking the Lady Gaga approach to success and that’s targeting the gays.

No, I didn’t get “too drunk” last night, that broadened my eyes on homosexuality, in some kind of college hook up where I wake up in the arms of a muscular man in leather with a dick in my ass, I am just testin’ my options, cuz I’ve never seen a poor gay guy, they are all career oriented, all fabulous livin’, who love to drink and do coke, with luxury lofts and no kids to rape their bank accounts, making them appealing to advertisers.

I figure my gay strategy is gonna end after this post. I hope you enjoyed it.

Posted in:Briefs|Jean Claude Van Damme|Panties|Underwear

2009

22

May

Beyonce’s Video for Some Song Called Ego of the Day

Here’s a song by Beyonce singing about loving a guy’s “Big Ego” because shit is the only thing she can physically feel because of her “Big Pussy” and I don’t mean her family pet, unless they all take turns petting the fluffy mess in her unitard, I mean her fat genitals because she’s fat.

Here’s her new digitally remastered video with her pants off, it’s the theme of female performers everywhere and I like to document it’s slow move into the mainstream. I’m no fashion expert but this is the summer of no pants and I guess that’s a good thing for an old pervert like me.

Posted in:Beyonce|Ego|Video

2009

21

May

stepLINKS of the Day

It is pretty much summer weather here and the girls are out in full effect and they are all pretty much half naked and it seems like everyone’s going crazy for fucking Ice Cream.

I got some ghetto soft serve for 50 cents because my wife made me do it and walked down the street eating it, only to pass another fuckin’ ice cream shop with high end ice cream, where all the snobby assholes pointed and laughed. I didn’t know ice cream was such a status game, until realizing they were laughing cuz my wife’s vagina lip was hanging outside her sweat pant, sure that vagina part is a lie, but these snobby ice cream experts definitely gave me dirty looks for rollin’ up with ghetto soft serve and it was funny.

Not as funny as when I just went to the store to get beer and two fat chicks were fighting over ice cream flavors, only to decide to get both, and that’s how I think women should work with sex, fight for the vagina, while I fight for the anal, only to come to a common ground of a little of both, but that’s not how it works out, what happens is you end up getting nothin’ and that’s just proof you can learn a lot at a store that sells ice cream and that’s without talking to the Sri Lankan about the history of his fucking people.

Here are my links – ps – I am drunk

Find A Masturbation Wife Here
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I Love My Lesbian Daughter
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Hitler Loves Hanna Montana
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8 Bikini Models You Must Look At
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I Guess Dogs Will Eat Anything
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Maria Grazia Cucinotta Has Glorious Tits
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Billy Mays Orders McDonalds
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Diane Kruger is Lookin Mighty Fine
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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How The NBA Will Guarantee A Kobe Vs. Lebron Final
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Sesame Street On Acid. Makes Sense Doesn’t It?
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Legs, Cleavage and BEER
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Striptease of the Day
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Mars’ New Candy Bar Is A Real Slut
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Louise Griffiths Is in Bikini
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Yup, Michael Jackson Has Cancer
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Adriana Lima’s Nipples
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Jessica Alba Is Looking Good Without That Stupid Baby On Her Arm
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Kendra Wilkinson Just Ruined My Day
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Cher is All Sorts of Disgusting
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Christen Stefanich Photoshoot
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Australia’s Biggest Internet Celebwhore (This Week)
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Erotic Gymnastics Heyooo
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Guy Gets Tossed Off a Moving Bus
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Sweet Peach is Young and Fine
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Employee of the Month
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Well It’s Official. I Am Bever Going to India Ever
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I wanna Motorboat Wendy Williams
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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And There’s Lady GaGa’s Vagina
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India Reynolds Naked
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MILF With an Awesome Body
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Georgia On My Mind
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Angelina Jolie Throwback
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Fuck You Walmart
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Kanye Already Broke Up With That Stripper
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She’s Got You Dancing
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Tunnel of Love
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How to Survive an Earthquake
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Bikini Whore Battle
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Fuck You, Speidi
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Some Titties at a Premiere
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Some American Apparel Blowjob Ad
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

21

May

Mariah Carey and Her See Through Shirt of the Day

So if you’re wondering what the titties Eminem used as a public urinal, mainly because they have the same relationship with a lot of dick like a public urinal, you know one you’d find in a stadium, or bar, maybe with some stray pubic hair on it, or chewed up gum, or maybe even a used condom or a syringe if you’re in the crazy part of town, here is Mariah Carey in a see through shirt with her crazy tits….

On a sidenote I’ve pissed on girls before, but the best time was after a night of hard drinking and downing 6 vitamin C tablets because i felt a cold coming on. I somehow convinced my gf to let me piss in her face and I did and she took some of the darkest piss I’ve ever seen leave my body in her mouth before puking, it wasn’t hot and pretty much ended our relationship cuz I can’t respect a woman who lets a very convincing, dashing, charismatic, pretty much homeless fat man piss in her face….

Posted in:Mariah Carey|See Through|Shirt

2009

21

May

David Hasselhoff’s Abortion Clinic Survivors of the Day

The reason I never had kids was this fear that they’d be ugly. I know every once in a while ugly people have good lookin’ babies, in some sort of Karma for always feeling like shit about yourself, and allowing you to feel proud of something, by having the prettiest girl in the school, but Karma’s never been too good to me, leading me to believe I’d end up with some kind of legless mutand that I’d be forced to drag around down, so that everyone would look at me and laugh, since they don’t do that enough already. It

Based on these pictures, maybe David Hasselhoff shoulda had the same intuition as I did, because damn, these girls belong back in the abortion clinic dumpster, the home they never got to visit because some asshole decided to let his wife keep them and take them away from a much better fate.

I like that dis, I’m gonna shape the delivery on it a little better and use it daily. Amazing that I’ve still got it in me….

Posted in:Daughter|David Hasselhoff

2009

21

May

Guess The Pantless Pig of the Day

I know pigs are never supposed to wear pants but guess who didn’t wear pants again ….come on…I’ll give you three guesses…if you said “tranny lookin’ broken down rich kid who craves attention because she’s ugly and does it by making a mockery of gay people and their gay lifestyles by spitting out cliches about things she thinks they can relate to and who only has gay fans from FAUX-MOs or the kind of fag who is a real fag because he takes dick in his mouth/ass/wherever, but isn’t a real fag in his core, because he’s doing it as a fashion statement to justify why he’s such a fuckin’ loser in his mid western town and does every annoyingly gay thing possible because he saw it on tv, like a Perez Hilton for example”…then you win absolutely nothing…

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Pantless

2009

21

May

Annalynne McCord is Busting Out of her Dress of the Day

Annalynne McCord is useless. Instead of dressing like a predator, I’d rather dress her up like the prey, you know put her in a mouse costume, or in whatever the fuck animal predator’s eat, and throw her in the fuckin’ jungle and see whether she comes out alive. Maybe even make a reality TV show out of it because that’s really the caliber of talent she provides. Here are her tits.

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|cleavage

2009

21

May

An Amazing Story of Failure and Defeat of the Day

Here is a story of a girl who tried so hard to reach her goals but just couldn’t get where she needed to be.

Porn Star ‘Cora’ – Carolin Berger was rushed to a hospital with difficulties breathing, while filming her attempt to break a world’s record of oral sex with 200 men. Cora had serviced 75 men at the time of the health crisis.

Almost inspirin, isn’t it? At least the whore’s got fuckin’ ambition and wants to leave her fuckin’ mark on the world. To have a fuckin’ legacy other than the men she’s given herpes to. That’s more than I can say about the whores I know who would do that shit for some crack and not even think to make a big fuss about breakin’ records, you know a whore who does it out of necessity and not for the glitz and glam of semen dripping down her fuckin’ chin an onto her tits.


Here’s a whole bunch of her porn (I think)
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Here’s the story….
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Posted in:Cora|Porn