I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

15

Aug

Selma Blair Bikini Picture of the Day

I am fucking hurting today, I woke up surprised to be alive because last night was seriously fucking abusive on myself, just look at my stepLINKS post written at 6 am while fuckin’ destroyed, but it turns out that my fast beating heart, dizziness, shakes, pains and memories of stupidities from last night aren’t as hurting as my computer that wouldn’t let me access the blog all day and it turns out that my computer having AIDS, randomly shutting off, crashing and overall sucking dick is not as hurting as Selma Blair in a bikini. In all fairness this is her first job in a long time, she’s almost 40 and she’s supposed to be dumpy lookin’ in this role. I’d still fuck her like the pillow case full of mash potatoes she looks like she’d feel like…

That’s the first post of the day. I hope you liked it.

Posted in:Bikini|Selma Blair

2008

15

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

I drank too much tonight but have to post this shit – so I won’ t talk about the 15 year old gymnastic giril i met or the cashier from Sierra Leonne who had da burned hand and a lot of attitude. Instead I wlll post my links. Cuddles


Tom Cruise is Going to Send Lord Xenu After Angelina Jolie
GO

Reporter Rollover
GO

Katie Price Has Big Fucking Trout Lips, And I’m Not Talking About Her Vagina
GO

Sophia Bush Pussy
Go

Big Foot Exists- Pictures To Prove It
GO

Top 10 Celebrity Lips
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

I Can’t Get Enough of the Retarded Police Man
GO

HOly Shit!! Julia Childs Was a SPY!!!
GO

Keri Russel Pokies
GO

Topless Babes – Your Guess as to Who They Are is as Good as Mine
GO

Longboard Wipeout!
GO

Girls Who Know How to Get the Job Done
GO

Olympic Karaoke
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Blindfolded Blonde
GO

Photoshop Alert!! There’s No Way Jennifer Love Hewitt Got Rid of her Ass THAT Fast!
GO

Bianca Gasciogne Gallery
GO

Asian Schoolgirl Catfight
GO

Teen Lesbian Pool Party
GO

Some Big Ol’ Tits From The Land of the Rising Sun
GO

People Magazine got Ripped the Fuck Off
GO

Did We Not Say Everything We Needed to Say With Maid in Manhatten the First Time Around?
GO

Rumer Willis Tries to Convince the Worl that She Has Talent, and Isn’t Just Another Rich, Spoiled Hollywood Brat.
GO

Jennifer Aniston is a Whore
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Lidsay Lohan Says Her Sister’s Tits Are NOt Implants, Which Basically Means They Are
GO

Now THIS is the Type of Olympic Shit I Wanna See
GO

The Top Ten Gayest Action Movies Ever
GO

Some Butch Rips 21 Phonebooks in Half in Under Four Minutes
GO

Alexandra Ivy is Your Redhead Fantasy
GO

toddler Tossing ia Amazing
GO

The Scariest Pussy I Have Ever Seen in My Life, Next to My Wifes
GO

Xara Diaz = Boners
GO

Jaslyne Gonzalez Needs to Gain Some Fucking Weight
GO

Who Knew Old School Italian Movies Were So Amazing?
GO

Pornstar Tera Patrick in Some Magazine Looking Porn Star-Ish
GO

Jennifer Hudson is Looking Good
GO

Anastasia Angel is the Hotess
GO

Why is FHM a Million Times Better in Other Countries?
GO

Some Chinese Water Technology That I Can’t Really Wrap My Head Around
GO

Jacqueline Doyle is Tasty
GO

Make Homemade Plasma
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

14

Aug

I Comment on Lohan’s Comments About Her Sister’s Breast Implants of the Day

So Lindsay Lohan made a statement on her myspace about her sister having fake tits and I unfortunately agree with a couple things she said, like that a 14 year old getting implants is insane and even the most opportunist mother wouldn’t allow for that, it’s just an insane accusation and shouldn’t have been taken seriously, I also thing caring about a 14 year old’s tits is a little fucking pedophilic, but maybe that girl shouldn’t wear retarded push-up bras showing off her perky little teenage tits, even she didn’t want people lookin’ or commenting on the shit.

What I don’t agree with is when bitch says that it is disconcerting that people focus on the negative of people’s lives, that we are so bored with our own lives that we need to focus on their life and manifest lies about them, well last time I checked, Lohan was a child star, making more money than she knew what to do with, who was going through some kind of mental breakdown and identity crisis, filling her emptiness with cock and drugs, before deciding she was a fuckin’ lesbian and finding stability with a girl 10 years older than her who can provide the maternal support she never had, and who can’t break her down emotionally like the penis she got herself caught up with in the past.

Her life involved doing nothing but lying on screen, playing people who don’t exist in scenarios that don’t exist all while self-medicating because she was bored, empty, lost and could financially, It was some kind of cry for attention of a spoiled rich kid that was manifesting negativity on herself all because she’s a self-absorbed little cunt who doesn’t realize there’s a world out there other than her own and that she is the center of the fuckin’ universe, so when people come along and talk about her, or other people she knows, she automatically assumes we’re bored with our lives.

The truth is that we’re doin’ ok, even if we’re poor, we still have more stable, wholesome, balanced lives and we just turn to celebrities for a fuckin’ laugh because they are fuckin’ comedy in their delusional ways. They make too much money, are thrown in our fuckin faces over and over again, and are easier targets than people in our immediate circle.

Bitch is a product of the media and not a real fuckin’ person, sure she may have feelings, but fuck them, she sold them when she sold her soul to the devil for a hefty paycheck and should stop her fuckin’ complaining and get some perspective that we don’t actually care about her or any celebs, we don’t want to be her or other celebs, we just want to see you fuckin’ fail and laugh at you along the way, because it’s funny to watch and the truth is you can be easily replaced and we can all forget about you, just as soon as you stop workin and move to some organic ranch to live off your money and to herd shee like the lesbian you’re pretending to be…..

Here’s her joke of a statement that she made….. the only thing interesting about it is that she figured out how to use a computer….

hey everyone..
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here’s the visual…
me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me…
one of them being, “Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?”
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!”
i was caught out of nowhere so i didn’t really come up with the proper response at the time.. there’s many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.
i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet!
It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye…
i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.
in a more positive light…
i got some great clothes from alexander wang and i miss samantha cuz she’s out of town :(
have a wonderful day everyone~
til next time..
xx LL

I’m glad she got some great clothes, maybe that empty purchasing will bring some pleasure in her useless fuckin’ life where she does nothing for the greater good of the world, I am sure that 5,000 dollars she spent on a dress wouldn’t have been appreciated by a family of 6 struggling to put food on the table because they don’t even make 1500 dollars a fuckin’ month between them, you irrelevant, greedy, selfish, irrelevant piece of garbage of a whore.

Posted in:Breast Implants|Lindsay Lohan

2008

14

Aug

Audrina Partridge Makes Bad Jokes in her Bikini for Publicity of the Day

Audrina is a useless slut and she’s trying to milk all the fame she can by getting in a bikini as often as possible and now she’s taken it to the next level by agreeing to do some kind of joke for that Jew Chelsea Lately’s show where she pretends to be dating a midget. I am guessing shit’s a play on the whole Verne Troyer sex tape shit, or maybe they just think the idea of a retarded looking half-rate celebrity dating a midget is just so fucking funny, because people aren’t supposed to date midgets they are supposed to watch them get shot out of cannons or some other offensive shit that degrades all my midget brothers out there and I take offense to this shit, mainly because it’s a cheap joke and even if it wasn’t a cheap joke it wouldn’t be funny, but more importantly because I hate Audrina and despite having a good set of implants, which is rare, still deserves none of what she’s got including you jerking off to her.

The truth is that when I first saw these pics, I naturally assumed she was with one of her friends she met at her retard and handicapped camp she was sent to as a kid, but that turned out to be false fuckin’ promises and the truth is the she’s just a cunt.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Bikini

2008

14

Aug

Adrian Grenier and His 3-Girl Rebound of the Day

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

In case you didn’t know, Adrian Grenier’s girlfriend was in the car with Shai LeBeef when he had his drunk driving accident, leading the world to believe she’s fuckin’ that little troll’s useless cock, while probably being a huge blow to Adrian Grenier’s ego, because let’s face it, whenever a girl I bang goes with someone fuckin’ lame after being with me, I take personal offense and even think for a minute that maybe I am delusional and maybe this fucker is a step up from me and that I just think he’s a loser because I am jealous that she’s fucking someone who isn’t me, but probably not because I don’t believe in jealousy and what I find lame is not what girls find lame, so in the end it all makes sense and I end up marrying the first fat lonely chick who comes along, because I figure I am older and I don’t want to be alone and that she’s going to always be there for me through thick and thin because she’s older and doesn’t want to be alone either, even though she’s not anything I ever wanted to marry and is probably something I wouldn’t even notice walking down the street, but she’s mine, I’ve settled and this post is depressing me, let me switch it up….

So Adrian Grenier has dumped the LeBeef girl, and was spotted paddle surfing, the gayest sport out there with 3 chicks in their bikinis, and last time I checked, 3 girls on your dick is better than one, so while his ex is out with some Hollywood loser, Grenier’s showin’ her than shit don’t matter and he’s going to make the best of this freedom, you cheating, lying, useless piece of ass who is just trying to advance your own career and it will all backfire, because there’s a lot hotter more talented pussy out there than you.

Posted in:Adrian Grenier|Bikini|Sluts|Uncategorized

2008

14

Aug

Eva Longoria Has a Nipple of the Day

Sure Eva Longoria looks like a fuckin’ rat, but she’s Mexican and seeing Mexican girls slut themselves out really makes me feel like they are taking away all the work I have done to give Mexicans a good name in the world. It’s like when Feminists talk about girls like Lohan and Paris Hilton taking away from all the hard work women have done in the world to get equal pay, respect and the right to vote, while these sluts go around discounting their work by being counter-productive as they show the world their pussies and fuck random men to get ahead and have a good time, while teaching young girls that it’s right to let me eat you out, but making feminsts mad that they’re doing it, except I think Lohan and Hilton are doing good and I think Eva Longoria in her see through shirt is just embarrassing and reminds me of my cousins, mothers and neighbors who worked hard to get her the right to be an American and who probably even helped her parents jump the border, giving her the opportunity to be who she is and she just takes away everything they have done by not wearing a bra for a little attention like a little common fuckin’ whore.

Speaking Lohan, at least I was at the beginning of this post, I got word of the hotel Sam Ronson was staying at and decided it would be funny to leave a sex toy for her to use at the front desk. I don’t know if she was actually staying there, but I wrapped up this free toy a company sent me that was shaped like a hand, something I thought wouldn’t offend her since it wasn’t penis shaped and I wrote a note that read

Samantha,

I heard you were in town and figured that you are probably lonely this and let’s hope this will come in “handy”, get it, since it’s shaped like a hand about to diddle…anyway, I’m more of a one-finger kind of guy, this two finger number will do you wonders. Don’t worry it has never been used, unless my wife snuck in and used it when I wasn’t lookin, in that case you may notice some green shit that should wash off easy and a smell of horse piss and death that will probably take a few hours soaking in bleach to get rid of, but in any case I’ll be broken up if you don’t use this on Lohan.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstefather.com

Here’s Eva Longoria, her rat face and her little nipple cheapening the Mexican race a little more everyday.

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Nipple

2008

14

Aug

Marla Maples Is Trying to Get a Work Out Show of the Day

Marla Maples called up the paparazzi again because she had a “workout” scheduled on the beach again and she wanted the word to get out there that she’s fit and hard bodied and 40. I can only assume she likes the ego boost she gets when magazines feature her as the hot over 40 beach body or she’s trying to get some initial buzz for a workout or diet book she’s working on, or maybe even a workout or fitness show she’s trying to sell because she needs something to do as spending Donald Trump’s money is getting old and tired for her.

Speaking of fitness, a friend of mine decided to call me up last week and tell me that people who jog an hour a day live longer than people who don’t jog. They just found this out in some controlled research, which I thought was funny, considering it’s such a fuckin’ obvious discovery, they’d be better off spending that money on something like curing aids or some shit, and dude wanted to inspire me to exercise because he’s the kind of guy who quit drinking and partying and found yoga, meditation, weightlifting and jogging as his new high and has lost weight, got his blood pressure own, has seen it affect his everyday life by giving him self-worth and self esteem, structure, energy to get things done and since quitting his old life has turned things around to getting a job, buying a condo, finding a hot younger girlfriend and is now living the yuppie life of going to the market to buy organic greens and natural supplements, going on vacation to places like Costa Rica where he goes on long distance runs in the jungle and white water rafting has quit eating meat and dairy and thinks he is going to live to a hundred, and he wants me to get up on his program to really turn my life around. Well, I got a call yesterday and it was his girlfriend, he got hit by a car a couple days ago and they don’t know if he’s going to make it and if he does, they don’t know if he’s going to ever walk again, so I guess fitness also kills and he shoulda just stuck to living in the gutter with me, cuz if he did, none of this woulda ever happened.

Posted in:Marla Maples|Show|Work Out

2008

14

Aug

Lara Croft and Her Vagina Close Up of the Day

This is the new Lara Croft from what I assume is Resident Evil, but I am too lazy to look shit up because I don’t really care, I don’t play videogames and I don’t watch shitty action movies because I find them offensive, but I do remember living with a dude who did like videogames about 10 years ago and he would play the Lara Croft game all fuckin’ day and dude would always call me in to show me the “crawling” position and talk about how hot her ass was and I knew that he got hard for that graphic and realized that there are some desperate and weird peole out there, then I started the site and through emails and comments realized that there were more people like my friend out there, the kind who spend their days playing video games, and nights jerking off and fantasizing about videogame characters, wishing they would crawl out of their computer or TV screen and into their beds, so I feel it’s my job to post these close-up shots of the new Lara Croft’s vagina, because not only do I like vagina, but I like helpin out virgin losers who need guidance and if that’s not you, because you are just in denial, then these are for my old buddy who I lost touch but who probably hasn’t lost touching himeself to the idea of a cartoon-like videogame slut with big ol’ tits and a gun.

Posted in:Lara Croft|Vagina

2008

14

Aug

Helena Christensen Rocks a Bikini of the Day

Here’s another old hot model I want to fuck who is set for life and spending the day in her bikini and you should be jealous of her because she has the money to do all the things you wish you could do because of all the money she made because she was born hot and someone figured they could make money off her. The truth is that I have spoke to local models, who aren’t really anything special, but think they are and they have dreams of international modeling stardom and always talk about how hard their work is and how much talent shit takes and it’s all fucking bullshit.

I was featured in Maxim and Complex magazine, I’m not bragging, cuz it’s not a big deal, but I am just saying, that the photoshoots consisted of sitting on your ass on a couch next to a table of catered breakfast food, drinks and coffee that is better than anything I get here, until the motherfucker was ready to take your picture, in a room with 4 set designers, 1 art director, 1 photographer and 1 photograher’s assistant, where you sit on your ass in the set they have set u and he takes your picture for about an hour, joke around between shots and then the caterer brings in lunch that is bettert than anything I can afford here and everyone takes an hour break and sits around talking about bullshit, until dude takes more pictures or you and wrapping things up mid afternoon, ending the day of work that was more like sitting at home all day with pretentious art fags with camera equiment. I figured real models do pretty much the same thing only on a bigger scale and if they do shit is a fuckin’ joke, doesn’t take talent and pays too fucking much, proven with these pictures of Helena Christensen in her bikini.

Posted in:Bikini|Helena Christensen|Hot

2008

14

Aug

Naomi Campbell on a Yacht in a Bikini of the Day

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

I love that these retired supermodels have nothing better to do with their time than sit on yachts in their bikinis a week every month. It’s like Cindy Crawford, Kate Moss and a few other models just don’t know what to do with themselves now that work consists of not working because they are not young anymore and if they do get work, it is just some cameo shit so that people remember them all while their bank accounts are already full and they are set for life. It must be a pretty horrible feeling knowing that all that’s left for you is death, kinda like the retired people I know who try to get jobs as the Wal Mart greeter just to give themselves something to do, because when they end up doing nothing all day, they find themselves getting older, lazier and dead.

Either way, I am slow moving today, because like a supermodel, I don’t actually like doing anything during the day but sitting, I like to think I am always on vacation and here are some pictures of Naomi Campbell getting a tan on a yacht which is a good thing because I saw some pics of her a couple weeks ago and I was getting nervou because girl looked like a ghost and was like get this pasty white bitch out of here get her some fuckin’ sun and bring me back the Naomi Campbell I know. I guess it’s hard finding the time to maintain the darkest pigment skin in the world.

Posted in:Naomi Campbell|Yacht

2008

14

Aug

91 Year Old Ernest Borgnine’s Secret to Staying Young…of the Day

I don’t know who Ernest Borgnine is, but I do know that he is 91 and when asked his secret to staying young, he said he masturbates alot and I automatically thought about you because you masturbate a lot.

Now you now have Ernest Borgnine’s support to justify what you currently do all the time, and that your feel shame in chronically doing because your dead relatives are watching you and because you find yourself having a hard time integrating into real life and getting things done, like a job, girlfriend, social life all because it’s all you want to do, all the time.

I figured it was some good words of wisdom to start your day, because I know that I am feeling old, I am tired all the time, I can’t keep up with the young girls I hang out with and I feel aches and pains in places I didn’t know exist. I may not be 91 in age, but I am probably 91 in health and I would write more but I am going to do what Ernest Borgnine says I should do, I’ll be back in 4 hours, wearing some pantyhose, bleeding and crying, all while thinking of Ernest but feeling like I was 15 again, except for the erection and ability to cum part.

The truth is that the idea of a 91 year old jerking off is fucking offensive, not that the idea of a normal young dude jerking off isn’t, but at least they aren’t doing it to pictures of their dead wive’s in their bathing suit for a family vacation back in the ’40s, just the idea of this dude cumming all over his belly, is like some kind of science experiment gone wrong, leading me to believe that all of your fathers and grandfathers probably jerk off too, and that should change the way you look at them from now on….hopefully not in a good way….pervert.

Posted in:Ernest Borgnine|Masturbates|Uncategorized

2008

13

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

I just found out that Sam Ronson was in Montreal for some opening event for H+M and she didn’t reach out to hang out or take me out for drinks with all her celebrity DJ money. Sure, I’ve never met her, she doesn’t know I exist but that’s the kind of cunt behavior that hurts my feelings, not that I have feelings, but if I did, they’d be hurt.

To think I’ve been taking estrogen to work my way into their hearts by sneaking into joining the lesbian love affair and making it a lesbian love triangle as the lesbian with chest hair, which is the lesbian every lesbian relationship needs and I’ve been planning this for the last 6 months because I thought it would be good for business, only to be neglected as my penis and balls slowly shriveled up with my dignity and genius plan, it makes me feel like I really wasted energy on these jerks and that what I think is genius, really isn’t, but it’s not all a loss because now I have my own hot tits to play with, I should post pics and do live cam shows to finally make some fuckin’ money on this internt shit….but I won’t.

Instead of hanging with the girl who uses Lohan’s vagina as a chew toy, drinking heavily and slow dancing like we were at prom and she was my date, before paying homeless dudes crack money to do stunts like they were in Beijing, I compiled these links and used the word compile to describe what I did tonight, making me slowly turn less and less cool the more I sit at home working on this stupid site and by working on the site I mean watching amateur porn and smoking cigars while messaging girls on facebook for nudes.

With Love….

The Hottest Fucking Video From the Olympics….
GO

Mariah Carey is still a Crazy, Demanding, Slut
GO

Paris Hilton Walks Around in a See Through Dress
GO

Jessica Simson is so Country in Her Short Shorts…
GO

Trampoline Mishap
GO

The 10 Greatest Female Streakers in Sports History….
GO

Burger King Bathtime
GO

50 sexiest beach babes
GO

Here’s a Hot Pic of the Slut Who Jamie Lynn Spears’ Teenage Baby Daddy Was Cheating On Her With…
GO

Which College Movie Slut Would You Rather Fuck
GO

Hollywood is Really on a Set Mission to Ruin Everything that Once Ruleds
GO

Here’s a Good Job For the Ladies Lookin’ To Make Some Extra Money…
GO

Tyra Banks Shows Off Her Nappy Hair
GO

RIP MOTHERFUCKER – The World’s Tallest Transexual – Sandy Allen….
GO

And That’s Why You Don’t Masterbate at work
**This is Amazing**
GO

Sphia and Eve Get to Know Each Other
GO

Okay, I Hate Sharon Stone As Much As the Next Person, But This is a Bit Much
GO

Dita Von Tease is Not Hot, You Shitheads. She Dresses Like a Fucking Grandmother
GO

Aubrey O’Day is Slowing Morphing Into Shauna Sand
GO

Madonna is Buying Another Baby
GO

Locksmith Prank Call
GO

Chickens Are Better Than You And Me
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, Because Finding Waldo Must Be Pretty Fucking Boring By Now
GO

I Wanna Punch P-Diddy/Diddy/Daddy/Puff Daddy/Sean Combs/ or Whatever The Fuck He Is Calling Himself These Days In The Face
GO

Office Bathroom Prank
GO

Andi Valentino Gallery
GO

Weightless Lesbians!
GO

Here’s a Monkey Ice Skating
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Saphia Has Some Alone Time
GO

Cassie is a Slimmer, Hotter, Less Tranny Look Version of Kimora Lee
GO

Nella is Tasty for a Used Up Whore….
GO

Foreign Street Fight
GO

Oprah Drunk Dial
GO

Some Vintage Richard Pryor from Sesame Street, Motherfucker
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Chick Naked and Masturbating on Photobucket Because it is a Porn Site in Disguise
GO

Some Big Black Cunt
GO

Porno Gets Me Through Depression….
GO

Girls Who Get It Done Right
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Better Than Comics
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

13

Aug

Khloe Kardashian is a Monster Coming To Eat Your Babies of the Day

Khloe Kardashian is a monster and she is coming to Eat Your Babies….I don’t know what went wrong in this thing’s genetic code, maybe she was born next to powerlines or someshit, but I do know that she’s not human and despite not being human, there are guys horny enough to climb u her giant thigh to get into her monster vagina and that’s something scarier than waking up to her next to you in your bed after a hard night of hard drinking….

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|Monster

2008

13

Aug

Heidi Montag Has Retarded Fans at This Make a Wish Foundation Day at Kitson of the Day

I don’t like Heidi Montag because I don’t think she’s hot and I am superficial and have standards when I am hiding behind my computer screen, but none when it comes to getting girls in bars to show me their tits. I find her annoying as fuck as she is always in her bullshit character, living a bullshit lie of a life that MTV puppetmasters have designed for her to maintain ratings and she’s just milking it for all she can, and I get that, because otherwise her future would involve a whole lot of workin’ the stripper pole back in Colorado, or living her rich kid life working for her dad’s company and driving his Porsche, not that I know that they are rich or not, but I am assuming she had a serious contact to make this miracle happen.

Either way, I don’t hate her sister though, her name is Holly and I think she’s the one in these pictures with her. She’s my Facebook friend and she started out ignoring me until I posted all her personal pictures and she reached out the threaten me with a lawsuit if I didn’t take them down. From there we established a solid Facebook friendshi and we send each other random messages a couple of times a month and I try to get her to talk dirty to me and send me nudes and she just tells me real basic shit and cockteases me with promises of going on drinking benders at MTV Video Music Awards and shit like that together and since I missed out on the whole drunken, messy, college girl gangbang Spring Break experience because college is for lesbians and peole too scared to grow up and gt a job and I went straight into addicts and street whores and girls missing teeth, I feel like she’s going to open my life up to great things. The only problem is that I don’t meet people off the internet because I am scared they are going to kidnap and rape me, and despite me being seen as the internet predator, I am actually a fuckin’ paranoid motherfucker who doesn’t trust anyone, even if getting raped and killed would be the most action I’ve had in years, it’s not really something I am going to entertain.

The truth is, the Holly I am talking to could be a 12 year old Filipino faking the shit, but I still like to believe that we are connected at the soul via facebook. If you want more Holly, you’ll have to watch the show because she’s going to be on it and I don’t really think any girl is worth that kind of abuse to yourself because The Hills are the Devils work, and the proof is all these Make a Wish foundation kids treating Heidi like some kind of celebrity, something we all know she isn’t, but it doesn’t matter what we think, it’s what the rest of the world thinks that matters and that scares me.

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Retards

2008

13

Aug

Fergie’s Ass in Some Military Romper of the Day

I was looking at these Fergie Military uniform pictures and was thinking going to war and fighting for your country wouldn’t be so bad, you get to kill a race of people you were raised to hate because they flew planes into your buildings, you get to be in the hot weather all the fuckin’ time, you don’t have to worry about making yourself dinner and life would pretty much be like a college spring break party with booze, opiates and a bunch of buddies and then you get to come back to base to deal with your female colleagues dressed like this, the kind of outfit you’d expect on a creative stripper who is tired of the whole school girl thing and onto more socially relevant themes like War, but then I remembered what bitches in the Army look like and the only thing I’d want for them is to put on some more clothes to cover those lesbian bodies, and to be put on the front line like they were Black in WWII and Vietnam, because let’s face it, the world needs less penis hating, masculine, empowered dykes who know hand to hand combat.

Either way, I don’t mind when Fergie and her masculine features do it, because she’s still got a body and ex-meth addict face that brings back great memories of cheap back alley blowjobs…

Either way, she’s dressed like a two year old and doesn’t look like one because she’s had too much cock, but I’d still watch her crawl around like one. There’s nothing like an outfit that touches pussy, ass and tits at the same time. It’s some kind of magical even when Fergie’s penis gets in the way.

Posted in:Ass|Fergie|Legs