I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

24

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

I was just stuck on a bus heading north for the last 25 hours in a snowstorm to visit my wife’s shitty family for the Holidays. They are trashier and live in deeper poverty than I do, which is almost impossible, but I figure when you move 12 hours into the wilderness of hell to build a shitty shanty that is heated by a fireplace and that barely has running water, you’re worse off than me. Luckily, their neighbor is a sex offender and has wifi and that’s why I can finally post yesterdays links.

Here they are….if I never come back it’s because I’ve been raped, murdered and buried where no one can find me….Merry Christmas…I am sure no one is reading this, except maybe the Jewish guy who reads the site…but at least I am posting them….

Paris Hilton Spent $200 000 on the Ugliest Piece of Shit Ever
Actually, a Piece of Shit is Better Looking Than This Thing
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Who Knew Jessica Alba Would Get So Disgusting So Fast
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Maria Sharapova Camel Toe Throwback
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Morgan Freeman is the Unoffical 6th Member of the Bare Naked Ladies
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Holly Madison’s Best Tit Moments
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Holly is a Hottie
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How to Score At Your Company Christmas Party
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El Presidente Needs a Pick Me Up
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Remember Dolph Lundgren? Well His Wife is Topless
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Goldie Hawn Pokies Throwback
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Because We Can’t forget About Ourselves Around the Holidays
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Here’s Beyonce Looking Stupid in her New Music Video
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Shauna Sand Whores It Up With Her Kids, Cause She is Classy Like That
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Can I Be Britney’s Dad for a Day?
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Alright, I Admit it, I Regret Never Learning How to Skateboard
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So Long Puppy Cam
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There’s Something Gifts Santa Just Can’t Bring Down the Chimey
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Catalina Explains the Internet
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Brazlian Ass Showdown
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Hockey Zamboni Fail
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Abbey Brookes is a Swinger
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Drunk Versus Fence
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Jaclyn Case is Nekkid
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Because Sometimes The Best Presents Are the Ones You Get Yourself
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Underwear Tattoo, Really?
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Okay Maybe Michael Jackson Isn’t Dying Afterall
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Denise Reichards is an Idiot, but She Looks Pretty Good in a Bikini
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Because No One Wants to Spend the Holidays Alone
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Sweet Fish
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Nothing Wrong With Girls Gone Wild
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Kate Beckinsale Looks Hot No Matter What
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The Pussycat Dolls Have Completed Their Transformation into Sex Workers
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British Bitches Go Topless
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Awesome Torrent Site For All You Geeks Out There
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More Kate Beckinsale Sexiness
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Pam Anderson Channels Her Inner Zoolander
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Pole Dance Like a Pro
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Danielle Lloyd Says Seasons Greetings
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Is Christina Milian Relevant At All?
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White Trash Sluts
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

23

Dec

Vida Guerra’s Ass in a Photoshoot Video of the Day

People love VIda Guerra’s crazy fat ass, so when I came across this photoshoot video, I figured I’d post it because I am too lazy to sit on the computer all day when everyone else I know is on fucking vacation already, even if that laziness gives me a booty like this that I can turn around and cash the fuck in on, I mean if the world wasn’t such a sexist fucking place, where men can’t get away with just being a half naked whore, and not actually offering anything to the world, or actually working, because being something guys want to fuck means there will always be enough cash flowin’ in.

So all you feminist cunts can go fuck yourself about equal pay and shit, because you have it easy, at least you could have had it easy if you weren’t a mechanic lookin, jean and flannel wearing, shaved head bull dyke that no one wants to fuck…you know the reason why you make such a big deal about sexualization of women in the media is because you’re fucking jealous that you were forced into lesbianism and real work for a fraction of the pay because guys didn’t want you naked….right….maybe you should focus on something you understand, like oil changes.

Either way, watch the ass in action, it’s one of the modern world’s great mysteries….

Posted in:Ass|Vida Guerra

2008

23

Dec

Heidi Montag’s Titty Christmas Kiss of the Day

Here’s Heidi’s fake tits, to match her fake hair at her fake Finale party, with her fake husband that she has been fake dating for the last few years in her fake life. The only thing real in all this is that the dress is probably designer, and not a fake imitation, because it turns out the public like lies and lies make people very fucking rich.

That’s not to say it’s a nice dress, I don’t know this fashion shit, but this is Heidi Montag, so I can only assume it is some tacky trashy stripper shit you’d find at a sex shop, but it is to say that all this combined makes this bitch a lot smarter than you and me and that’s pretty fucking depressing.

Posted in:Fake Tits|Heidi Montag|Kissing

2008

23

Dec

Gisele is Riding a Snowbike of the Day

I don’t really like Gisele that much, she looks like a man, and there’s nothing about her that gets me going. I am actually convinced she’s just one of those tranny Brazilian chicks, who isn’t the gay kind of Tranny who takes it up the ass or sucks dick, but the straight kind of tranny who uses his dick to fuck straight girls while they suck his fake tits, and that one day this Gisele bitch will get caught shaving her beard, getting hormore therapy, or even appear on the sex change list or in Tranny porn, because I’ve never seen her pussy, and until I do, she’s all balls to me.

I know some people like her and I figure there’s no better way to celebrate her this Christmas than to post a picture of her riding something that you can use photoshop to turn into you. It’ll make jerking off to her more believable, even though you deal with the cold dark truth that it’s not real everyday, but think of it as a DIY gift from me to you this joyous holiday season…..

Posted in:Gisele|Riding|Snowbike

2008

23

Dec

Pussycat Dolls Doing a Wholesome Christmas Performance for the Kids of the Day

The Pussycat Dolls brought in the Christmas cheer, by dressing up in latex and corsets and showing off their tits and asses as they danced around simulating sex. Sure that may not being a conventional Christmas for you, but you’re probably the kind of motherfucker who goes home for the holidays to re-connect with family and friends and relive your beautiful little picture perfect childhood, and not the kind of guy who goes to the strip club for lap dances, because without the strippers in your life, you’ve got no one else, because you are all alone and no one called you to invite you to spend the holidays with them and you have no choice but to go the only place you know someone will badly pretend to like you and not your wallet so that you can sit down with them for a nice Turkey Dinner and gift exchange for 10 dollars a dance in the booth, with contact. Tis the fuckin’ season for suicide… ya know.

Posted in:Christmas|Latex|Performance|Pussycat Dolls

2008

23

Dec

Amy Winehouse Dancing Topless of the Day

Everyone calls Amy Winehouse a drug addict and make it out to be this bad thing, but all I see is a girl who likes to have a good time. I mean other than the fact that she looks like she belongs in the fuckin’ zoo, or the morgue, or the fact that she probably smells like fucking rotting fish, cheese and feces, or she’s got no teeth, she’s seems like a lot of fun to hang out with. She is always down to dress up for halloween, get fucked up, dance around and take off her fucking clothes. I know my life would be substantially better if I had a Winehouse to hang out with and here she is dancing on her balcony topless like a girl who just wants to have fun….or someone who has done a few too many drugs and doesn’t realize the difference between right and wrong….but no matter what it is, she looks like the kind of girl who would not be uptight about anal, mainly because she would be convlusing in the corner in a puddle of piss and puke and that’s good enough for me. I’m easy.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Dancing|Topless

2008

23

Dec

Audrina’s New Boyfriend Looks Like Your Only Girlfirend….of the Day

So the Hills had some Season Finale party that I am sure a lot of people are hoping is the series finale party, because we’ve finally caught onto their scam that their reality isn’t really reality at all and Audrina showed up, trying to be the fucking comedian of the night, by bring this “man pillow” I’ve seen advertised on the internet from Japan to make lonely girls feel like they are being cuddled at night, as her date. I can only assume this ties into the show somehow, like Audrina’s been looped into some relationship scandal and since she’s not clever to come up with something like this on her own, the good people at MTV wrote it into the “going to the season finale party” script and none of it really matters because it doesn’t make me laugh.

If anything it depresses me and makes me think of all those guys out there who can’t get pussy and are saving up for a Real Doll but can only afford the torso, turning them into weirdo’s who can’t get off to actual girls with heads and limbs and takes them down a very dark path because the 1500 dollar torso is way more affordable than the 6000 dollar full body doll.

So Audrina’s shitty comedy is another man’s shitty reality, but the good news is that it’s only natural for her to date a lifeless inanimate thing, even if he’s just 25% of a body, because she’s a fucking lifeless robot and I hear their conversation isn’t all that different than what you’ve seen of her on the show and here are her pics.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|cleavage|sex doll|Tits

2008

23

Dec

Lily Allen is Topless on the Beach of the Day

Lily Allen brought her cankles and really thick lower body out to the beach and figured it’d be a good idea to show the world her uneven tits her baby will never suck on, because she ended it’s life with a big ol’ vaccuum cleaner, because the guy who knocked her up peaced the fuck out after realizing that if she looks this sloppy at 22, imagine what hell the future holds for him, not to mention her drinking, smoking and drug use, woulda probably made the fucker some kind of retard, and no one needs that guilt of institutionalizing it hanging over their head all their life, so I guess it all works out in the end….except for Lily Allen, who’s all alone, because no one really cares about how she feels about this whole thing, especially when we already know what her tits and body look like, and it’s safe to say you’d feel really disappointed if you had picked her up before she was famous and was working as a receptionist behind a desk somewhere, only to go meet for the date to discover she’s fat chick from the waist down…

The only amazing thing in this picture is how good a job she did of stuffing her unborn fetus back inside her to feel like she’s still a mother-to-be and not a murderer and not having it’s little fetus arm or leg or head poking out into her bikini bottom.


To See More Pictures of this Slut Topless Because I Don’t Want to Get Sued
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Posted in:Lily Allen|Topless

2008

23

Dec

Jamie Spears is a Fucking Legend of the Day

I just saw this video of Jamie Spears telling the paparazzi or a reporter to fuck off and it is amazing.

This guy is a cross between a modern-day cowboy and a drunken homeless sex offender only instead of being like the homeless dude I ran into this morning when walking my wife’s dog, who was just winding down from an all night Christmas binge that’s lasted the last 6 years in an alley outside my house, this motherfucker can’t formulate a fucking sentence or hold a conversation.

He just got awarded 16,000 dollars a month to manage his daughters shit, which seems like a lot of bottles of moonshine, a lot of cartons of bootleg cigarettes, a lot of jeans and baseball hats from the Salvation Army and enough for a different 50 dollar an orgasm hooker everynight of the week. He even has enough money to put some aside for that dream vacation he always wanted to go on to the Flea Market and the whole thing just proves that America really is the promised land, where uneducated poor trash who lost his virginity to his uncle on the farm can live the life of luxury because he whored out his daughter on a whole other level than his neighbor at the trailer park did, because letting letting his bowling buddies fuck her for 10 dollars didn’t pay as much as international fame.

So now when Jamie Spears is drunk and wrestling furniture in his backyard, he’s doing it in a million dollar house next to an infinity pool and not next to a flooded outhouse next to the shanty with no running water or electricity that he lives in. The only challenge is trying to come up with a new excuse to beat up his wife because not bringing enough tip money home from her job at the diner to buy some feed for his pigs just doesn’t work anymore….

Posted in:AMazing|Jamie Spears

2008

23

Dec

Stephanie Seymour Shows Off Her Rock and Roll Cum Hole in a Bikini of the Day

So a couple of years ago and I went Christmas shopping for a girl I was dating at the time. I decided to get her a pair of leather gloves because I figured they were a classic gift and while I am poor, perverted, creepy and kinda mean, ignorant and maybe even a loser, I like to try to keep things classy. So when I got the clerk to help me choose a pair and she asked me what size hands the girl I was seeing was, I said I didn’t know. So she brought me the small, the medium and the large and I pulled out my boner in the middle of the store and slapped the glove up on it like my chick had done enough times with her hand that I figured I could guage what size she was, but instead, the sales girl freaked out and I was asked to leave. I guess they are the kind of store that doesn’t like selling shit. Assholes.

Here’s Stephanie Seymour in a bikini because I’m sure she’s had her fair share of dicks in her hands, mouth, ass, pussy, but I have a feeling the kid she with proves she’s not too into gloves. Merry Christmas, And a Happy New Year.

To See the Rest of the Pics Because I Don’t Want to Get Sued Over This Rock and Roll Cum Hole…Follow This Link…
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Posted in:Bikini|Stephanie Seymour

2008

23

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

Fuck Christmas. This shit’s chaotic and I’ve been drinking all fucking day to celebrate. I figure I write too much so my early Christmas gift to you is not bothering to write a fucking post…

Here are my links:

Ryan Seacrest Proves there is a God….and By God That I Mean He Likes Cock
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Pam Anderson Gets More Disgusting By the Day
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Susana is All Right By Me
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I Will Never Get Sick of These Chicks Playing Guitar Hero
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80’s Dating Tips for a Fucking Loser Like You
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With a Name Like Bambi, You Can Only Guess What She Does
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Can’t Stop Laughing at this Star Wars/Bush Dodging Shoes Thing
So Here it is Again
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Why I Love Japan of the Day
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Victoria Beckham is Jealous, and Here is Why
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Because I Would Hate For YOu To Die Alone
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Danielle Lloyd and Friends Want to Wish You a Merry Christmas
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Katie Holmes is Looking Fucking Rough
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Michael Jackson is Dying; Buys New Home to Celebrate
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More Pam Anderson Grossness
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A Very Heroin Christmas
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Gemma Massey Will Make Even You Jews Out There Like Christmas
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Drunken Mud Wrestling is My Kind of Sport
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If America is in a Recession, No One Told Mary Kate Olsen
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Air Cylinder Versus MRI Machine
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Cody Milo Has Got Some Big Ol’ Tits
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Rocky 10 Versus Rocky 11
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Random Christmas Photos of the Day
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Because Every Man Needs a Good Slut in His Life
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It’s a Charlie Brown Kwanzaa
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Heath Ledgers Insurance Company Should BE Ashamed of Themselves
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Face Down / Ass Up
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Because I Know You Need All The Help You Can Get
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And That’s Why You Should Watch Your Alcohol Intake Over the Holidays
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Conan O’Brian is the Only Person on the Planet Who Liked Marley and Me
But He’s a Comedian, So I’m Guessing He’s Just Trying to Be Funny
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Just Can’t Get Enough
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Sam Ronson is Having a Cry About Something or Another
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Maxim Managed to Minimize Hillary Duff’s Horseface in This Photoshoot
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Vickie Blows is Pretty Much Naked
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Duck Hunt Dog
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I’m Sure Whatever is in Your Fridge Isn’t Half as Interesting as What is in Her Fridge
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Escape From Handcuffs
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Pete Doherty is a Hot Piece
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Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony Pretty Much Hate Each Other
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FALLOUT!!
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Lily Allen Picks Her Wedgie Cause She’s a Big Ball of Class
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How to Stop Vaginal Odor
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Hoe Or Houswife? Eva Mendes Pics
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Some Miami Slut
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

22

Dec

Michael Jacksons’ Ass is Bleeding of the Day

img src=”http://www.drunkenstepfather.com/cms/ul/20081222-Picture-63.jpg”>

So it turns out the Michael Jackson may be dying, mainly because he’s bleeding out of his ass….

Jackson, 50, suffers from Alpha 1-antitrypsin deficiency, a condition that can be fatal.
‘He’s had it for years, but it’s gotten worse, he needs a lung transplant but may be too weak to go through with it. He also has emphysema and chronic gastrointestinal bleeding, which his doctors have had a lot of trouble stopping. It’s the bleeding that is the most problematic part. It could kill him.’

??Halperin also said Jackson “can barely speak'” and is having trouble seeing: “The vision in his left eye is 95 percent gone.'”

SOURCE

This would be a good time to say something like Jackson’s finally getting a taste of what his “Jesus Juice” did to little boys, or something along the lines of him now knowing how McCauley Culkin felt after leaving Neverland ranch all those years ago, but since he was acquitted on those pedophile charges, I guess no one would get the joke…

Anyway, I call bullshit on this story, even if dude looks like death, doesn’t mean he’s dying, and I will post it because I know many of you have gotten off to bloody asshole stories in the past so think of this as some kind of medical homosexual erotica…

Posted in:Ass|Bleeding|Michael Jackson

2008

22

Dec

Samantha Ronson Makes 3 Million Dollars a Year of the Day

Everyone is freaking out about Samantha Ronson making 3,000,000 dollars a year as a DJ and claim that she’s only getting the 25,000 dollar a gig price because club promoters think she’s going to be carting Lohan around with her and is pretty much using Lohan to get the big payout, but bars and clubs are fucking sketchy business, run by the mafia to launder money and there’s tons of cash that needs to go around and get accounted to prevent people from going to jail, so people in the bar industry have always spent tons of money on various DJs, acts, parties, hosts, whatever, because they have tons of cash to do it, whether celebrities are involved in the mix or not….

Sure, more mainstream people know who she is now and care about who is DJing the party more than they used to, but that’s why these celeb DJs exist. People don’t know if someone can mix a record together well or not, they care about who is mixing that record and if they recognize any of the songs the DJ is playing so they can get on the table and dance around like idiots while singing along….

I snuck into a Ronson party last year when they were just rumored being together and shit was fucking packed with chachi motherfuckers who bought bottle after fucking bottle in some sea of cheese that made me want to kill myself, and that made the club a couple hundred thousand dollars, so why shouldn’t the DJ who people came out to see, see some of that money since the club was pushing her as “Lohan’s possible Girlfriend” to sell tickets. Seems fair to me….

A few years ago, DJ AM was in town and he got paid over 100,000 dollars to play one night with Nicole Richie when they were fucking, and he also has a million dollar deal with a Vegas club to play on a weekly basis. That’s 1 million dollars to work one day a week for a year. He also owns two night clubs and a management company that represents a bunch of these celeb/mainstream DJs who all get paid between 10k and 30k a gig, depending on when and where. So he laughs at the 3,000,000 dollars Ronson makes, while counting the 15 or 20 million dollars he probably makes doing the same thing….

I know this because a promoter wanted to organize a birthday party for the site, and I wanted celebrity DJs there because I thought it would be funny to throw shit at them while they DJed and not getting kicked out since it was my fucking party and I’ll throw ice at the overpriced celebrity DJ if I want to, so I reached out to the booking agents, and the cheapest quote I got was 15,000 dollars for any of them on an off night, like a Sunday or Monday. So instead of getting the funding to throw pies at AM while he Djayed, the idea was flushed down the toilet.

So these people make fucking bank,they party and drink all night, play music, fuck hot chicks and travel the world and people come out to dance to their boring, sweet sixteen, mainstream sets, but at least they are doing something for the party, unlike the time Paris Hilton came to town, she got paid 80,000 dollars and a bunch of coke to show up to an event, Hilary Duff, Christina Aguilera, Tila Tequila, Kim Kardashian, Pam Anderson, Marissa Miller, P Diddy, and a lot more celebs have rolled through here and they all cost more than 25,000 dollars a night and they just sit around for an hour pretending to drink before heading back to the hotel, so to put it all in perspective, it’s really not all that crazy, even if 95% of their sets is playing other people’s music….and what it all comes down to is that we’re idiots struggling to pay our rent because we didn’t have the foresight to get on this DJ train and date a celebrity of our owne, while Ronson laughs her way to the bank….

Posted in:DJ|Samantha Ronson

2008

22

Dec

From the stepFORUM of the Day

I eneded up crashing some company Christmas party this weekend. They had rented out a bar near my house and figured if I just snuck in near the end of the night, they’d all be too drunk to realize I don’t work with them, and I’ll be able to maximize the open bar and try to finger the drunk secretary like I was corporate or some shit. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out that way, they ended up calling the cops on me, after pleading with me to leave, and despite how many times I told them I was the new guy, they just didn’t buy into it. The good news, is before they caught on, I got a sold 4 drinks in me and if that’s not a Christmas fucking miracle, I don’t know what the fuck is…

Here’s some action in the stepFORUM to keep you entertained, while I go watch girls buy panties, because Christmas shopping is the most wonderful time of the year for panic attacks from ridiculous crowds.

Register to See Everything and Get Invloved!
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———Celebs———

HOT!! – Sophie Howard in Black and White stockings – Nuts (NSFW)
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HOT – Jennifer Ellison – “Crikey It’s Jen!” PS – Nuts mag (NSFW)
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Marisa Miller – for DT magazine Spain
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Maria Castro in FHM
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Girls Aloud – Attitude Magazine – November 2008
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Camilla Belle Stills From the Movie “Push”
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Kerri Walsh & Misty May – Pro Beach Volleyball Butts and Camel Toes
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Emmy Rossum @ the Premier of “The Reader” in NYC
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Jenna Elfman Looking Good @ Valkyrie Premiere
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Kate Winslet – Nude in “the Reader” (NSFW)
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Krysten Ritter Cute @ Flaunt Magazine’s Party
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Bar Refaeli – Sexy Adverts for Hurley
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Joanna Garcia @ Golden Globe Salute to Young Hollywood
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Christina Aguilera – At Birthday Party Celebration
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Selena Gomez – at the Pepsi Holiday House
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Sanaa Lathan @ Premiere Of “Seven Pounds”
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Nikki Reed @ Flaunt Magazine’s Party
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———Music———

Billy Idol – Happy Holidays
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Vinyl Pusher – Move
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Armin van Buuren – A State Of Trance Episode 358
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Alexisonfire – Watch Out
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Terrence Howard – Shine Through It
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The Libertines – Time For Heroes: The Best Of
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Tommy Shaw – Girls With Guns
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DJ EJ – EJucation Volumes 27, 28 & 29
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TranceWorld – The Beginning of Life (2008)
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Eternal Deformity – Frozen Circus
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The Cranberries – Greatest Hits
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Twilight – Soundtrack
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Artur Rubinstein – Chopin Collection
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Wild Billy Childish – Christmas 1979
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Dallas Brass – Christmas Brass
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———Random——–

Real girl goodness (some NSFW)
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Roofies
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Gface contributes to the Real Girls (some NSFW)
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Meth Loves You
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———Movies and TV———

The Alplabet Killer
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Jet Li’s Fearless
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The Victorias Secret Fashion Show HDTV 2008
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House M.D. – Season 1
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Nelly Furtado – Loose: The Concert
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Donkey Punch (2008)
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———Sleaziness———

The “Aspirations” Girl Isabelle (Check this out!)
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Young and Busty
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Faith Exposed:- Anal clip
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[Latinas] Brazilian Porn – Pamela Butt
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ASSSSS
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Exploited Teens – Delphina
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Brunette Gets Ass Fucked
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Samantha South – Teens Gone Wild 2 (Anal, Facial)
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———Screening Room———

Holy Shit…
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Microwave Christmas!
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Karate Kid When Mr. Miyagi Speaks Fluent English
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Posted in:stepFORUM

2008

22

Dec

Pam Anderson’s Short Shorts at the Airport of the Day

So Pam Anderson was at the airport this weekend, but I don’t really know whether these pics are actually recent or not, as I gave up on tracking Pamela Anderson’s activity a solid 10 years ago, when she was still solid, and not slowly melting away, like she is in these pictures. I do know that her shorts are pretty fucking short, like she’s trying to squeeze into her favorite pair of white pants from 6th grade, but I haven’t really got any problem with it, because unlike the 6th grade, I know she doesn’t have to worry about getting her period in front of everyone in a pair of white pants, scarring her, because her menopausal vagina doesn’t it’s period any more….

Not that it matters, what does matter is that Pam Anderson isn’t the only one going on vacation for the Holidays, because these shorts seem to be doing a little traveling of their own, only instead of visiting family or a tropical beautiful place, they are visiting a third worlds, diseased, polluted hell…one I wouldn’t mind getting knee deep into because when push comes to shove, I don’t really mind aging cunt as much as I pretend I do.

Posted in:Ass|Pam Anderson|Shorts