I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

02

Oct

I am – Mung Does Victoria Beckham in his Dreams of the Day

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Do you remember MUNG? I do. He consistently tries to make this site a better place for you and me. He even sent out emails trying to make me money off the site. I would like to thank him for his continued support by posting his post that no one else would ever bother posting because he pretty much sucks harder than my Liz Taylor post.

I didn’t do any drugs this weekend because last weekend killed my few remaining brain cells and Patterson remembered that I owe him twenty bucks so he cut me off until I pay him. So instead my niece came over on Saturday because my parents had to babysit her. She is Seven. She brought her Barbies with her and we played Barbies together. When she left the room to go eat dinner I removed all their clothes and put them in really dirty sexual positions. Some were in 69 positions. I put a pregnant barbie sitting on the hood of a car, getting eating out by a nigger barbie. (inter-racial is hot) Because I will never have sex with a girl, this kind of turned me on and I had to play the mexican skin flute in my parent’s laundry room. I am not too sure if I should be admitting this to everyone on this blog because I could probably go to jail for a long time for playing Barbies with a seven year old girl and then masturbating. Speaking of Barbie dolls I saw these pics of Posh Spice on a website today and I invited my niece over to be babysat.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

02

Oct

I am – Tamara Beckwith See-Through Dress of the Day

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This bitch is so fucking famous that she even dated Sharon Stone’s brother. I looked her up and they called her a noleberity and that means she’s got no reason for being at celebrity events or on TV but she is at them and when she’s wearing a see-through dress.

I am kinda a nolebrity too, I am not famous but constantly get harassed by you fucking readers. I love the motherfucker who keeps calling me Wussus because I had a shitty week of content last week. Reality is my wife never found out about the site, I was just tired of posting this shit. It’s depressing and I burnt out.

Speaking of depressing, I went to a Naked breakfast place where the bitch is supposed to serve you breakfast with her titties out. I got to the place and I was met at the door by a 50 year old slag in wool slippers and a bathrobe. I don’t know about you, but getting served by a woman who looks like your mom when she wakes up on a Sunday morning, doesn’t not count as naked breakfast. But then again, I don’t live in my mom’s basement and jerk off to her dirty laundry. Anyway, there were about 10 tables all empty, there was one 90 year old dude with a cane at the counter who probably thought the 50 year old bitch was the hottest piece of ass he ever saw….either way, I ordered a coffee and took in the Jenna Jameson posters on the wall from 1992 and left feeling more depressed.

Thanks for reading. Asshole.


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2006

02

Oct

I am – stepINTERVIEW with a Myspace Girl in a Bikini of the Day

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This girl messaged me asking me to make her famous, since she had pics of herself in a bikini, I decided to go along with it. Here are the boring questions I asked her, because I figured if I started asking her to describe her box and tell me what the weirdest thing she stuck in it was, she’d never bother answering the other questions. I realized over the years of being an internet creep that it’s always important to ease the ladies into the vulgarities gently. Speaking of easing things in gently, there is a Yom Kippur celebrating jewish girl in spandex pants bending over in front of me.

Here’s Maude Flanders – Probably Not Her Real Name:

Why do you want me to make you famous?
I want you to make me famous because I’m undeserving of it and I’m tired of stroking your cock for free.

What is your talent?
My talent is sitting at a boring job all day and actually getting paid to read blogs and check my myspace page more frequently than a old fuck with bladder control pisses himself.

Do you want to be the next Forbidden and did you know that she was a Man?
I’m not really sure who Forbidden is, I know it’s from FOV but I haven’t been watching that this season, I’ll say no, I prefer my looks over that of a trannie.

Do you ever sleep with random men from myspace?
I have not slept with any men from myspace yet…there’s alway the opportunity that I’ll find one that will fit the bill.

Are you one of those drunken college girls who likes having a good time?
Well I’ve never gone to college, so I’m not a drunken college girl. I do like to have a good time, especially when I’m drunk. I guess I’m an uneducated drunken working girl.

What would I have to do to convince you to send me nude pics?
I don’t think I’ll ever send nudes, too risky and cheap, there are so many nudes online. Besides I’m saving the surprise for when we run off together

This is your chance to ask a question you think I will find funny
My question for you:
Why do you suppose people find it criminal to take acid and then fuck vegetables?

Visit her on Myspace GO

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW

2006

02

Oct

I am – Sienna Miller Shopping of the Day

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I have always had a thing for Sienna Miller and by always I mean the last 2 years that bitch has been in the movie scene. I remember seeing her tits in Alfie and I was sold on her. She is the kind of pussy that you see at a party, drunk and chain smoking, part of you wants to fuck her because she’s hot, but the other part of you doesn’t want to use the bathroom after she’s been in there out of fear of getting AIDS. I guess that explains why Jude Law and her are still together….she’s probably hooked him up with something she got at one of her cocaine model parties back in London before she was famous…I guess this is all speculation and the point of my story is that I’d still raw dog this slag despite the smell. It’s one of those little kid sticking a fork in an electrical outlet situations.

I guess the other point of my story is that the bitch next to me is some crazy loud filipino slag who is rocking her phone like she’s at a Filipino Festival and she’s the entertainment. I’m talking dancing and screaming on stage for 150,000 screaming Filipinos, only difference is, there are 3 people in this fucking coffee shop. She just wet napped her hands, I love the smell of lemon scented rubbing alcohol. I think she may be the same bitch who has been pretending to be Lohan on myspace. They seem to have the same social skills.

Now watch Sienna Miller shop, weirdo.


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2006

02

Oct

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less

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Two girls are sitting next to me in the coffee shop I went to because I couldn’t handle listening to my wife complain about who’s fucking who on whatever soap opera she watches. These two girls are obviously the kind of girls who don’t normally fuck dudes. They shop at the gap and they don’t drink caffeine because caffeine is too hardcore. There idea of a good time involves getting together and talking about the last book they read. there is nothing wrong with reading…I have been wanting to read for a long time and just never get around to it, but there is something wrong when reading is the basis of your social life. You all know these kinds of bitches, they are the ones you never paid attention to in highschool, but should have because the years of neglect turned them into sexual deviants. She likes a boy in her computer class and has no idea how to hook up with him. I didn’t realize girls go through the same anxiety as dudes do. If everyone was more open about what they wanted we’d have a lot more teenage pregnancy and STDs but everyone would be a lot more happy.

Speaking of happy….I was happy to get this Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less, not because it’s good but because the bitch has blond pubes and I remember getting off to a scene in a Brian De Palma movie where the old bitch in the shower had blond pubes…The name of that movie was Dressed to Kill and the year was 1980, I was 10.

Speaking of Brian De Palma, I saw Black Dahlia and that shit sucked harder that you did at your highschool graduation when you hit in the popular dude’s hotel room and took advantage of him when he was passed out drunk. Homo.

Posted in:stepBOX|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Sep

I am – Liz Taylor at an Aids Benefit of the Day

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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart…I’d love you to take me on a ride…

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2006

29

Sep

I am – Paris Applies Make-Up of the Day

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The good thing about having money is that when you are being carted around to exclusive events in expensive cars with your fat sister, you can sit in the back of the car and apply make-up, even after your make-up artist made you up, just to make sure everything is in place. A lot of people are drawn to Paris and find the bitch classy, because she’s from the upper-crust, but reality is that it is all smoke and mirrors and lots of hours of maintenance. If she was a supermarket clerk with 3 kids and a 20,000 dollar debt, running off 2.5 hours of sleep because one of her kids was up all night puking because she fed her kids dented can soup cuz it’s all she could afford…no one would even notice her.

This bitch represents everything that is wrong in the world, from her greed to her over consumption to her narcissism and complete lack of respect of anything and anyone. Lucky for us teenage girls from the trailer park are picking up all of her bad habits, but on a budget.

Thanks for ruining the world, cunt.

PS – I think this could be a new fetish for hornylohanwanker, fuck pics of bitches smoking, when we can look at bitches apply 200 dollar blush.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Sep

I am – Tiger Woods in Wax of the Day

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This shit is better than a Real Doll, I wonder how many fuckholes he comes with…

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2006

29

Sep

I am – Pam Anderson and Kick Rock Leave Nobu of the Day

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I have lied to you, just like Pam Anderson has lied to us all these years. It turns out this bitch is a post-op tranny who you all jerked off to pre-op, meaning you’re gay. At least she looks it. Speaking of gay, I went out with a couple of my house music loving friends, who aren’t gay but could be confused for a fag couple because of all the arguing they do about nothing. They dragged me out to the local afterhours bar for a beer, where I ended up surrounded by the weirdest people in the weirdest outfits dancing a fool in the weirdest way. I was convinced that using the urinal would give me HIV, considering 90% of the crowd was faggot and the other 10% was prostitutes, strippers and the kids who had no friends in highschool and who are over-compensating for it now by doing mass amounts of drugs and fucking both girls and boys, because let’s face it, they feel part of something big…We left at midnight, before Carl Cox saved all their lives and that’s my story for now. None of it was funny, all of it was true. Now point of all this is to say, post op tranny with hep or not, I’d still stuff this bitch like a turkey…

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2006

28

Sep

I am – Paris Hilton Dancing in Europe of the Day

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The thing you gotta love about Paris, is that bitch has no shame. Where most of us have little voices in our heads telling us that dressing like a character in a Disney movie is probably not the best idea, Paris just gives ‘er. So here she is in some club lookin like a fool, but still getting the attention from every motherfucker with a camera phone. I guess Paris is kind of a savior, giving people who have come in contact with her something to tell their friends about for the next week, month or maybe a year. This encounter may define them socially and the story of coming in contact with Paris will follow them for life. The whole celebrity thing confuses me, I find someone like Paris a total fucking waste of space, but having money and a lot of media attention makes people love her, think she’s important, idolize her and want to be her or at least be around her. I think she has a bigger impact and level of importance than any of us, and that is really all our fault for wasting our energy caring about her.

My wife asked me to stop talking about our personal life on here. I can respect that. She is my wife and thus my life. This shit’s just a website. There’s more to life than a website. Remember that asshole…

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2006

27

Sep

I am – Screech Sex Tap

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My Wife Hates me… and so do you.. Here’s Mung’s post:

I got in my car today to drive myself to the clinic because I think I got genital warts from the Kool-Aid Man. (see previous entries) As I hopped in the car I turned on the radio and low and behold, it was announced that Dustin Diamond AKA Screech from Saved by the Bell has been found on a 40 minute sex tape with two women performing such moves as the Donkey Punch and The Dirty Sanchez. I didn’t know what was worse…the fact that I might have genital warts or the mental picture in my head of Screech fucking Jessie and Kelly while Zack and Slater perform fellatio on each other, the whole time Lisa Turtle is sitting in the corner fisting herself while pulling anal beads out of her asshole.

I don’t think I need the clinic anymore. I think I need a psychiatrist.

GO BAYSIDE!

Mung

Read GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

27

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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My wife found out about the site and she’s not so happy about it. I kept this up for close to 2 years and she had no idea what I was doing on the computer. I would say she was too busy eating, but she’s probably reading this. She’s pretending that she doesn’t care about it, but I can tell she does. I am goin to keep it up for now. But it’s not worth losing my family over. Let’s face it, this is just the internet and not real life.

Here are some links:


Ali Larter on All Fours Lookin Hot
GO

Whitney Houston Vs Serge Gainsbourg…
GO

Show your boobs for breast cancer….
GO

Look how much other ppl make on the internet…
GO

We like naked chicks in Halloween Masks…
GO

Here’s an Animation called Mediocre Magician
GO

Ashlee Simpson in Chicago – In Londo
GO

Tommy Hilfiger Makes Out With His Gf
GO

Check out the Booble Girl of the Month
GO

Steven Tyler has Hep C
GO

Lena and Lena
GO

Natalie Portman Nipple
GO

Victoria Silvstedt Upskirt
GO

College Kids Have Too Much Time on Their Hands…
GO

Jana Naked
GO

FTV Girls Naked Outside
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

What Kerne Does With His Friends for Fun
GO

LastNightsParty Video In Hipster Miami
GO

Get your Halloween Costume Now
GO

Buy This T-Shirt
GO

Anyone Want Some Candy?
GO

Chinese Girls Wrestling
GO

Cat Fight in the Woods of the Day
GO

Girls Wrestling
GO

Some Girl Giving a Lap Dance from afar…
GO

Hot Bijou Philips Pics, I never thought I’d Say That…Seriously..
GO

Mischa Barton at Some Event
GO

I love Gemma Ward
GO

Dirty Rotten Whore Submission 10
GO

Evangeline Lily’s Phone Sex Commercial
GO

Some Competitive Eating….
GO

Some Katrina Warren
GO

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2006

26

Sep

I am – Oprah is a Lesbian of the Day

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So I watch Oprah everyday and I was pretty happy to have Minxy show up in my inbox after years of her absence with some Oprah is a lesbian post for the site. I am drunk and have a black gay dude living on my couch. We are trying to get him to Miami and found a $69 ticket. Does anyone want to buy it for him to get him off my couch. My fear is waking up with a black cock in my mouth and a Jamaica patty in my ass. That’s got nothing to do with Minxy but this does:

So the other day i couldn’t figure out how to tenderize my beef patties and decided to go to Jesus’ to ask his wife to sit on them. she did and while she was smacking her oversized ass against the wall of their shanty with my meat in between, i happened to overhear Oprah and her lover Gayle King. They went on this car ride through America with a helicopter and about a dozen helpers. By helpers i am referring to camera crewmen and personal assistants.All they do is complain about how hot it is, how they don’t know where they are going and what they are going to eat. The helpers are pretty into it because they get their pay checks and free shows of Pussy on Pussy action, then foodstuffs on and in the pussy, then more pussy and then Gayle and Oprah pass out from the weight of the burden (of eating too much pussy). I have some things to say about these so called “icons”.

1. I could definately film a better show than those two. Starting with pussy eating footage. I hate eating pussy but i’d do it for
america. their president is bush after all.

2. I could also be a better icon. What message are you sending the masses eating all the time and constantly requiring an entourage?

3. Fuck this,Oprah used to have an opinion, she used to be able to speak out against things, to bring to light issues that noone is dealing with and now she pays her “boyfriend” to make appearances and talks about eating, celebrity hookups/breakups and style issues. Oprah, i am disseapointed in you. I also hear you hate the rainforest. bitch.

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2006

26

Sep

I am – MUNG's Post of the day

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MUNG sent me this Justin Timberlake post that I didn’t get around to posting yet because I am lazy and it didn’t blow my fucking mind. I was working on the Montgomery Moose interview which is something that did blow my mind. Anyway… Here’s His Post….

I saw these fucking pictures on the internet and it made me sick. Who the fuck does this homo bitch think he is? Clockwork Orange is a classic movie….Justin Timberlake is a classic poofter. There is absolutely no relation between him and Macolm McDowell from the movie. For example, Malcolm McDowell (from the movie Clockwork Orange) enjoyed Beethoven, raping women and ultra-violence. Justin Timberlake enjoys Yani, finger fucking men’s anus’, and petting kittens. I wish this guy would put spray some more loafer lightener on his shoes and just fly the fuck away.

So I was looking for a gay person to write for me…not a gay post from someone who already writes for me and I found Kerne to help me take on the internet blogging world one dick in his ass at the time…I guess Mung didn’t like that…

It appears that I was only the treat of the week. I feel used. Who is this new man in your life, Kerne? You never really did love me, despite all the e-mails you sent me saying how much you wanted to toss my salad. Now you have found a new man to take my spot. I hope you had fun with me while it lasted. I feel like nothing more than a male prostitute that has been shit on and pissed on and then fucked in the ass with a zuchinni. (It is not a nice feeling, just ask Perez Hilton).

I cried myself to sleep last night and used my tears as lubricant as I masturbated to my video collection of Richard Simmons sweatin’ to the oldies, wondering what could have been, if you and I had remained together. Perhaps my dream of becoming a blog writer on someone else’s website has been shattered. I hope you are proud of yourself and I hope you have fun with your new jewish/black/gay blogger. If only I were more ethnic, and more of a minority, and not heterosexual, then perhaps I could fulfill your needs, and at the same time, my dreams would truly come true.

Until next time my fair readers,

MUNG

MUNG don’t be a baby, at least you’re not a busted up nobody like Anastacia….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

26

Sep

I am – MUNG’s Post of the day

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MUNG sent me this Justin Timberlake post that I didn’t get around to posting yet because I am lazy and it didn’t blow my fucking mind. I was working on the Montgomery Moose interview which is something that did blow my mind. Anyway… Here’s His Post….

I saw these fucking pictures on the internet and it made me sick. Who the fuck does this homo bitch think he is? Clockwork Orange is a classic movie….Justin Timberlake is a classic poofter. There is absolutely no relation between him and Macolm McDowell from the movie. For example, Malcolm McDowell (from the movie Clockwork Orange) enjoyed Beethoven, raping women and ultra-violence. Justin Timberlake enjoys Yani, finger fucking men’s anus’, and petting kittens. I wish this guy would put spray some more loafer lightener on his shoes and just fly the fuck away.

So I was looking for a gay person to write for me…not a gay post from someone who already writes for me and I found Kerne to help me take on the internet blogging world one dick in his ass at the time…I guess Mung didn’t like that…

It appears that I was only the treat of the week. I feel used. Who is this new man in your life, Kerne? You never really did love me, despite all the e-mails you sent me saying how much you wanted to toss my salad. Now you have found a new man to take my spot. I hope you had fun with me while it lasted. I feel like nothing more than a male prostitute that has been shit on and pissed on and then fucked in the ass with a zuchinni. (It is not a nice feeling, just ask Perez Hilton).

I cried myself to sleep last night and used my tears as lubricant as I masturbated to my video collection of Richard Simmons sweatin’ to the oldies, wondering what could have been, if you and I had remained together. Perhaps my dream of becoming a blog writer on someone else’s website has been shattered. I hope you are proud of yourself and I hope you have fun with your new jewish/black/gay blogger. If only I were more ethnic, and more of a minority, and not heterosexual, then perhaps I could fulfill your needs, and at the same time, my dreams would truly come true.

Until next time my fair readers,

MUNG

MUNG don’t be a baby, at least you’re not a busted up nobody like Anastacia….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted