DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2018

31

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio in her Bikini of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio may be an old washed up mom, but she’s still a woman, and as a woman we must treat her with respect and encourage her to continue to get half naked, even if it defies science, like some kind of sex worker, because it’s good for her ego….a celebration of 40 year old women who managed to remain fit because they were getting paid…

But instinctually I think she should just bow the fuck down, make room for new pussy, you got your pay, your wealth, in all your half nakedness all these years….it’s time to work behind the scenes, in management maybe…

There’s no way her celebrity really still sells panties, unless of course the women who are fans of her have followed her and are now her age also….relating to her…and doing what she says…which makes sense..I’m not a woman, I may have a blog like a girl, but I’m not one…

I just like to assume she still exists and the brand keeps using her because she has dirt on the company they don’t want released and they figure let the old bitch keep getting naked, it’ll shut her up…you know a different kind of extortion, one you can jack of to….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW

2018

31

Jan

Malin Akerman’s Naked Sister Vagina in a Pool of the Day

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Malin Akerman must be pretty old….but she’s a babe and sometimes, I guess she posts her butt shots….so even when old…you can overcome all that is expected of you – so long as you’re a babe.

I do not follow Malin Akerman’s existence, but this came across my desk, that is more a pile of cum soaked circulars from the grocery store that I find laying around the house…you know because that’s how I spend my days…

And I’m into whatever the hell she’s doing here…even though she’s probably in her 40s, near menopausal and really a fascinating person…

She’s from Canada….since I’m from Canada and have yet to meet anyone who looks like Malin, if anything, I’m just mad I didn’t find her roaming the streets of Toronto in the late 90s, where I could have moved in and thwarted her dreams of Hollywood, by knocking her up and giving her a home in a basement apartment – hating her existence…who would be 400 lbs…and not looking like this.

That’s some alternate reality shit I like…

Here’s her sister – naked.

Posted in:Jennifer Akerman|Malin Akerman

2018

31

Jan

Kera Lester Naked of the Day

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Her name is Kera Lester, and I guess she’s some kind of model. Her instagram was underwhelming and she had far less followers than I’d want to see from a girl who gets totally naked for photoshoots….but I also felt refreshed, and reminded that even in these dark times, women will still get naked, some more than others, will not care about the public consensus, and will use the #metoo movement to get ahead, by going the traditional route, like some kind of scab taking over some union jobs…

This Me Too Movement has really opened my eyes to something that has always existed, that I have said has always existed, but that often times exists because the women put themselves in the situation for it to exist as they try to get ahead in their careers…

It’s nice to pretend men are these evil overlord demons….but there is such thing as seduction to get ahead..that some women are all about….

Not to say what some of these perverts did was ok, I mean maybe they let it all get to their heads with all that money and hot women who willingly fucked their ugly fat asses to get ahead….and took advantage of unwilling girls…sure….

But but there is such thing as seduction to get ahead..and getting naked in photoshoots is one of those things…cuz I’m seduced here. She’ll say it’s art, freedom, self expression, and no one will openly admit or endorse sexual assault…I mean that shit is wrong and being naked is not an invitation for it…but I’m still seduced and this boner’s not gonna go away on it’s own here.

Posted in:Kara Lester

2018

31

Jan

Aubrey O’Day Instagram Thot of the Day

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Aubrey O’Day has been a bottom feeder since she started in this game…

She went from reality show, to P Diddy Fucker, to reality show band, to Mike the Situation or the other dude from Jersey Shore fuck hole, and now she’s promoting bras that don’t have bra straps, and that stick to your sticky fake tits with spit, or residue from Mike the Situations / Situation….a asian innovation in push up bras that you can see all the low hanging instagram girls promoting for 1000 dollars or less…

And old, washed up, fat gone fit gone fat again or not…confused at who she is marketing herself to or not…I remember her, and I will promote her as she promotes crap because I guess I’m a bigger bottom feeder than her.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|SFW

2018

31

Jan

Pia Mia’s Ass in Leggings of the Day

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Pia Mia uses the same trainer as Ariel Winter – so it’s safe to say he’s not to blame for Ariel Winter’s slophole, he’s probably just doing it for a paycheck from the network, doing the best he can with a lazy girl who brings down his brand because his workouts down work for her, while elevating his brand because she’s famousand has a huge following…

But then again, maybe Pia Mia is just born with them Asian Genes and is not prone to being a sloppy girl, so that she can focus on building up her ass muscles, to have that ass, so that she can be something people into hip hop, which is a lot of people, can jerk off to….GAINS…

Pia Mia is some child star who never was, turned youtube star who I guess was, who is now sleazing things up as she should – because that’s what people want to see.

Even her workouts are pornographic to the right pervert. I like it.

Some Videos…

Heres a throwback of her dyking it out with Sofia Richie

Posted in:Pia Mia|Pia Mia Perez|SFW

2018

31

Jan

Ariel Winter Got them Tight Leggings On of the Day

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I think it’s so terrible that we live in a world that reduces women down to their bra-size, their titty size, the shape of their body…rather than their merit, their contribution to the world, their work, their talents….usually because women put so much importance on their body, their tit size, their asses….dressing provocatively to get noticed…

So judging Ariel Winter by her tits she’s chopped off but that grew back cuz she eats too much, alone feels wrong….

We should also judge her by the fat ass in sexy sheer leggings too….and why not throw in some judgement about her short fat legs too…all while trying to understand why this famous child star, on a hit show, who people like because they feel like they know her and her big tits because they’ve watched them grow – TWICE….spends so much time at the gym but doesn’t look like she’s excerised once…it’s likely hormonal..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2018

31

Jan

Anastasia Ashley Couple Porn of the Day

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A post shared by Anastasia Ashley (@anastasiaashley) on Jan 30, 2018 at 8:19pm PST

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted Anastasia Ashley, professional surfer and bikini posing booty on the beaches of the world…even though she’s got this rocking booty…thanks to surfing her whole life…muscle memory and LATIN roots maybe….

I came across this picture of her and her boyfriend about to have sex or just after sex and thought shit…it’s nice to live in a world where couples post their most special moments of before they are about the have sex…or after they’ve had sex….as long as the booty’s in the middle of the frame…

Thanks to pornos, we are all more interested in seeing people we follow on social media fuck, they are exhibitionists to even have social media, so it seems like the natural thing to do….but they so rarely actually produce a sex tape…so we barely ever get to see penetration….and we are forced to wait like a bunch of assholes….hoping it will one day come…

Around valentines day, moments like this happen, were we can almost see the gateway to a girl’s soul, showcasing her love for a man, and we think…we’re getting closer to that sex tape…keep it coming girl…while being reminded how we’ve failed at life, because our pre-sex / post sex is not something you’d want to ever photograph…not just because the hooker won’t let you document her but because it is humiliating and disgusting…and even pretty sad…

I guess what I am trying to say is that at least there are good looking people in the world to make us feel shitty as we masturbate to the thought of their sex because they put it out there…but they DON’T QUITE PUT IT OUT THERE….

Here she is for the FREE CONFERENCE CALL BANNED FROM THE SUPERBOWL AD because her bikini was too provokative…

Where do you take your board meetings? @freeconferencecall

A post shared by Anastasia Ashley (@anastasiaashley) on Jan 30, 2018 at 8:36am PST

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW

2018

31

Jan

Hailey Baldwin Taco Eater of the Day

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Here’s Hailey Baldwin demonstrating how she is remotely relevant / more relevant than her cousin Ireland, despite having way more pathetic parents in terms of level of popularity or relevance, which is probably why she pushed so hard to get noticed, you know to escape the stigma of being Stephen Baldwin’s kid, because anyone who writes they’re name Stephen instead of Steven is a cunt. YOU HEAR THAT STEPHEN…I SAID IT…

Obviously, she substantially hotter than Ireland baldwin, but as so many famous chicks have proven, hotness doesn’t matter…

What does matter is how good you are at TACO EATING…you know sucking the shit right out of the HADID AND JENNER asses like it was GUACAMOLE…to have them keep you around and promote you in the peripheral..

Magic really…that when dealing with cunts – everything always comes down to Taco Eating.

Heres her dog faced cousin Ireland in her underwear

Posted in:Hailey Baldwin|SFW

2018

31

Jan

Pam and Tommy 20 Year Sex Tape Anniversary of the Day

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The Pammy and Tommy sex tape from 1998 was a huge fucking deal, in an early internet era, when celebrities, even Playboy models turned huge titty stars, were not putting out homemade porno…it was cutting edge, it paged the way for all things good in the world like PARIS HILTON and KIM KARDASHIAN…but more importantly, it brings back memories of a simpler time, when you genuinely believed that the porno tape leaked was stolen from them and that they had nothing to do with its release…and didn’t make any of the money off the release, even though legally they would have had to sign the rights of the video over to whoever mass produced it.

We were dumber then, less jaded, and most importantly, this porno tape was coveted, hard to access, you had to go to the sex shop and buy it for 40 bucks or something crazy, or find a bootleg VHS version of it from a friend who had two VCRs…

I remember the first time I saw it, it was given to me by a neighbor, who was this weird punk rock dude who also introduced me to Ali G and Tom Green when he was funny, he would just collect all this random shit I didn’t actually care about, until I got to experiece PAM sucking dick and getting penetrated.

It’s hard to believe that I am 20 years older, that this happened 20 years ago…and I think we should all give props, a tribute, a nod…a moment of silence…even a themed viewing party with your friends….because it is the single most important thing to happen in pop culture.

DO YOU REMEMBER when you first saw the sex tape?…..

Well watch it again. VISIT VIVID

They’re running a deal on it…you can watch if to a dollar….a DOLLAR well spent.

SO watch it again. VISIT VIVID

If you want to see the more “hardcore” trailer for old times STEPSMUT

Posted in:Pam Anderson|Pamela Anderson|SFW

2018

31

Jan