DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

05

Jan

Josephine Skriver Robot Poses with Skis of the Day

Robot woman….has been lent out to other brands to model…because VS is trying to recoup their investment on Josephine Skriver – the vagina Victoria’s Secret created in a lab…very very expensive…the first prototype always is….you just breaking even when you use the technology developed on her on other girls…building out the army

You probably don’t care about Josephine Skriver, or know her story, but those of you who do have heard this romantic story…that is great for the media and PR…something people talk about…and that story is about a gay and lesbian biologist who were so desperate to have kids in a country where DNA / Cloning was legal at the time….so they did it themselves in the lab…because saying “we genetically coded a robot human model to exploit as hard as we can to save money on model expenses – as a team of robot models that are perfect to our standards – like how UBER wants their self driving cars”…..you know logical business…is less sellable and creepy…

But billion dollar businesses are all fucking creepy….

Here she is in some skiing fetish erotica..that is not erotic…unless you have a ski fetish, and when ski suits are the bikinis of you town…it can be erotic…it’s like some 80s or 90s ski magic when tight ski pants were everything…

Posted in:Josephine Skriver|SFW

2017

05

Jan

Has Another Nude Hack Happened? Of the Day

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There have been rumors of another iPhone Hack and I don’t know if this is anything to do with that but it’s still magical….knowing that nothing is secure despite people thinking things are secure, and people take and produce some weird fucking content around themselves, that they think will never get out there, but get out there…to the internet…where it will live forever…

These are probably old….but I’ll post them anyway because I am old…and I have no idea what’s current, in or not….

So here’s some chick naked Emily Browning Weird Leaked Nudes of the Day…

I know nothing about her, but she looks good crying while masturbating – something you can all relate to…

Erin Heatherton Leaked Pics of the Day that are a little too artistic and weird…but that are a video which makes them more magical than the sex she had Leo….because he’s gay…

Emily Didonato Leaked Pics of the Day include her big tits everyone fell in love with because they were naked on TV….

Em Rat Cow…some of these are old…

And ultimately none of these nudes are that good…and none of these nudes are necessarily even the people in them….because claiming that it is could get me sued…

This post was totally not worth getting sued over…but whatever…gotta live dangerously sometimes…right…

Posted in:Emily Browning|Emily DiDonato|Erin Heatherton

2017

05

Jan

Ebonee Davis Topless of the Day

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I hate that I’ve never fucked a black girl…because I fucking love black girls….but they don’t love me, I’m a Mexican and lower on the totem pole…not to mention my penis is too small for them…but I still fucking love black girls…so much flavor…so much soul…so exotic…so busty on a small frame…so perfect…

These tits are fucking amazing….all big…and big…on a small frame…making me wish black girls didn’t hate me…so that I got the chance to make hip hop beats on her vagina with my tongue….I hear they like that….and watermelon…and fried chicken…

Posted in:Ebonee Davis

2017

05

Jan

Salma Hayek’s in GQ Mexico of the Day

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Salma Hayek may be old, washed up, boring….because she’s rich and has made it in America as a Mexican import who barely speaks english, unless that’s just part of her act, you know to get all the Mexican roles…she’s probably from New Jersey and this is all lies where she milks being a Mexican you want to milk, and wish was illegally working in your house cleaning and taking care of your kids for a dollar a day – so that you can Arnold Schwarzenegger her – but realize it’s a fantasy – because she’s not an illegal…and more importantly…because you don’t have a dollar a day to pay her if she was…sadness…

But she’s still Salma Hayek…and that’s all I have to say about that..

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2017

05

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio and her Friends Topless in Bikinis of the Day

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Alessandra Ambrosio is in a bikini with her friends – doing the classic topless with her friends butt shot pic you’ve seen before, or at least that I’ve seen before…

So she’s a bikini model…and as I’ve discussed earlier…I fucking love bikinis…more than girls naked and fucking…more than girls in their underwear…more than the girl in the bikinis…the bikini is where the magic happens…unless they wear it too long while it is wet and it gives them a yeast infection…because yeast infections smell…while bikinis don’t smell even when they do smell because represent so much more good in the world than the girl wearing them…they are a spiritual experience…

What isn’t a spiritual experience is Alessandra Ambrosio the old mom in a bikini again…I mean she probably thinks some gods found her and made this happen but she bores me, even though this is kind of what she does…and has always done it and is amazing she still does it…or people want her doing it….and pay her to do it…but they do…because they are lazy, she’s got a name, and they like doing what they are told to do…they see her as status…even when there is far more hot young pussy out there better suited…

Here are pics of her and her friends – I have no idea who they are – but jerking off to people’s vacation pics – is always the best…it is one of those sacred things we’ve lost now that social media is less about the subtle and occasional bikini pic here and there…but is straight bikini photoshoots…that get boring.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW

2017

05

Jan

Mariah Carey Still Exists of the Day

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Everyone is talking about Mariah Carey, even this little kid in the grocery store who I guess watched the ball drop like his creepy coach tried to watch his ball drop on New Years, and was talking about how pathetic a lip syncer Mariah Carey, someone he probably shouldn’t know because he’s 10 and the last 10 years of Mariah Carey have been coasting…

And Mariah Carey is posting weird hot tub in a party dress videos…to divert attention from the fact that all these people Lip Sync, but most are less drunk or medicated and don’t do as shitty of a job…

But Mariah Carey, the narcissist, medicated, weirdo mess – won’t take accountability, or admit failure, she will just post pics like this weirdness to stroke her ego more than it has already been stroked…becasue she’s a crazy person – who had some kind of breakdown at least once – because that’s what happens when you’re a crazy person with an ego, too much money, surrounded by coddlers who feed that ego….you can do no wrong…even when you do wrong..because you’ve won…

I am not sure what’s going on in this instagram pic…but it’s amazing…so many layers of nuts…

Posted in:Mariah Carey|SFW

2017

05

Jan

Topless Woman and a Bike and Other Videos of the Day

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Bar Fight on Main Street in Houston

Kid Drowns While Mother Texts

Weird Dog Getting Run Over Video..What…

Cops Body Slam Woman

Lady on a Police Car

The Man VS the Hotel Door

Theif in Brazil Gets Chased

Thug Carrying Kid Executes a Man on a Couch

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2017

05

Jan

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I may be buried in snow, unable to leave the shitty, badly heated house that is hardly a house, that if a building inspector came in, he’d probably kick us out, knowing that squatters have better set ups that us….breathing cold mouldy air…smelling what smells like sewage backed up – that may be my wife….and I do it because it makes staring at pics of girls in bikinis less boring, you know like a beacon of hope instead of some shameless bullshit…..we don’t see bikinis here, I’m like “look, a girl in a bikini”…and figure if I ever moved somewhere where girls just walk around in bikinis…I would find it boring and no longer be a man into bikinis…so I continue to suffer in this hell, like some kind of martyr or conquistador trying to find new life and opportunity, all as a sacrifice of my happiness to make sure the bikini pic doesn’t lose it’s edge….or appeal to my pervert mind…I am a modern day hero…

It’s like dudes who watch too much regular porn, who now need midget, obese, shitting on each other fetish shit…

I am fighting to keep the bikini pic, something we see too much of, still exciting in a world where there is no excitement….and everything is just flimsy, filtered, gratuitous, fast food easy to produce and digest…

Here are some stepLINKS

Kylie Jenner Spices Up Her Relationship with Sex Toys…
CLICK HERE

Lindsay Lohan Poetry
CLICK HERE

Miley Cyrus Doesn’t Like Black Face
CLICK HERE

Rat Cow’s Hot Booty Pic
CLICK HERE

Kristen Stewart is Fucking Stella Maxwell
CLICK HERE

Cinema in Slow Motion
CLICK HERE

Why Cities are Where They Are
CLICK HERE

Amal Clooney is Hiding her Pregnancy
CLICK HERE

Gutter Porn Chick’s Ass Selfies
CLICK HERE

Honest Trailers of Bill and Teds
CLICK HERE

The Man Who Kept Running and Never Stopped….Kevin Hart Ad for Nike that I am not Getting Paid to Post
CLICK HERE

Creepy Princess Diana Letters
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2017

05

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

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My new pick-up line – that i’ve used at least once today – and that failed is..

“Don’t be jealous”….and she says “of what”…and I says “of my small penis”….and when she says “why would I be jealous of that”…and I says “because you want it but can’t have it”…

It won’t work…unless it’s on a prostitute…in which case why would you bother, just give her your money and take your damn blowjob like a man.

I am sure other things happened that were more worthy of being discussed…but why bother….no one cares..

Here are some stepLINKS

Lohan’s Poetry is Epic
CLICK HERE

Bella Hadid – Midriff
CLICK HERE

Madison Beer is Hot
CLICK HERE

Mariah Carey Fires her Creative Director
CLICK HERE

Amazing Plumber of the Day
CLICK HERE

Alba’s Youthful Cleavage
CLICK HERE

Doutzen Kroes in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Natalie Portman…Pregnant Slut
CLICK HERE

Jenny McCarthy Haggard Whore
CLICK HERE

How To Make a Skateboard from Toilet Paper
CLICK HERE

NBA Bloopers of 2016
CLICK HERE

People hate Underhanded Free Throw
CLICK HERE

Joanna Krupa is Naked
CLICK HERE

Anna Kendrick Mangled Face
CLICK HERE

January Jones Don’t Need No Baby Daddy
CLICK HERE

Two Year Old Saves Brother
CLICK HERE

Dangerous Crossing of the Day
CLICK HERE

Krupa Cameltoe
CLICK HERE

Dude Loses Car on a Ferry Ride
CLICK HERE

Pia Mia Pumps Gas
CLICK HERE

Jordan Carver – Hooker
CLICK HERE

Why Did the Chicken Get Domesticated
CLICK HERE

Pool Jumper Gets His Feet Mangled
CLICK HERE

Celebs in Bikini Round-Up
CLICK HERE

Samantha Grandoville – Naked
CLICK HERE

Delivery Guy Gets Revenge
CLICK HERE

Hilary Duff Hot Thickness
CLICK HERE

Lena Dunham’s Fat Monster Thigh
CLICK HERE

Lena Dunham Thanking Glamour for her Cellulite
CLICK HERE

Recreating the Big Kahuna Burger in Pulp Fiction
CLICK HERE

Stella McCartney in a Bathing Suit
CLICK HERE

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From stepSMUT!! LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!
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Today’s Random Tumblr Porn CURATED by ME so I can Say the Word Curated
CLICK HERE

Hot Body
CLICK HERE

Lesbian Threesome of the Day
CLICK HERE

Girl Soaps Up Tits
CLICK HERE

Naked on Bench
CLICK HERE

Naked Bitches in a Red Room
CLICK HERE

Booty Jiggle
CLICK HERE

Sarah McDonald in White Swimsuit
CLICK HERE

Amateur Romance
CLICK HERE

SLUTS LOVE TAKING SO MANY Naked Selfies of the Day
CLICK HERE

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Check Out My Hot Sauce Photoshoot with Dead Fish and Tits…
CLICK HERE

Find More Great Links Here….
CLICK HERE

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FOLLOW ME INTO THE DARKNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR | SNAPCHAT

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Posted in:stepLINKS

2017

04

Jan

Maria Sharapova is a Cheater in a Bikini of the Day

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I’ve had three major traffic on this site, where I hit over 300,000 people in one day, the biggest day was when I was given the Farrah Abraham squirting clip promoting her first sex tape and Gawker linked it up…

The second was the first 6 weeks of doing the site when Maria Sharapova was on the beach in a yellow bikini – pulling sand out of her vagina…a post that went viral before viral was a thing…it was 2004…a post that ended up inspiring at least 2-3 people I know to become big players in the internet space….a post that made me feel the need to update this bullshit for the rest of my fucking life…because so many people don’t care about me – or my jokes but they care about people in bikinis…making a stupid fucking life for myself….and 12 years later…I’m still doing it…like a fool…for no money or reason….

So in a lot of ways, Maria Sharapova is my spirit animal…my soul sister…my partner…my enemy…the devil…but she’s still doing what she was doing then….and so am I…so maybe we’re on some path we gotta stick to….her in bikinis…now that she’s allowed to play tennis again…an me running the most irrelevant blog on the internet…both of us better 12 years ago…but still here…one more athletic than the other…both performance enhancement drug users!

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Maria Sharapova|SFW