I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2005

04

Jan

I am – Down With Jessica Simpson's Nip Slip and Virginity

I was reading, I sometimes do, especially when it comes to big breasted pop stars and their perverted dads. I have dreams of taking my girls to the top then talking about how great their breasts look when they don’t wear bras….I came across this interesting quote on CelebNewswire.com about Jessica Simpson’s Virginity and what Joe Simpson had to do with it…

He made Jessica pledge her virginity until she married, during a ceremony when she was twelve years old.

Joe gave her a promise ring and vowed to be the only man in her life until she was properly wedded off, explaining,

“I’m going to tell you how beautiful you are every day. Even when you make a mistake, you are someone special. And I am going to be that person until the day you find a man to do that in my place.”

Joe was recently quoted saying :

“What better gift to give her husband? Never touched by another man.”

I did the same thing with my girls, only I didn’t enforce they keep their virginity, in fact I told them that no man wants to marry a virgin. I also told them I had to be in the room to supervise, to make sure they were doing it right. I never gave them a promise ring, rings are for pussies. Just so you know men, I learned them girls real good!

The Jessica Simpson Nip Slip is

HERE (could be a fake)

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Down With Jessica Simpson’s Nip Slip and Virginity

I was reading, I sometimes do, especially when it comes to big breasted pop stars and their perverted dads. I have dreams of taking my girls to the top then talking about how great their breasts look when they don’t wear bras….I came across this interesting quote on CelebNewswire.com about Jessica Simpson’s Virginity and what Joe Simpson had to do with it…

He made Jessica pledge her virginity until she married, during a ceremony when she was twelve years old.

Joe gave her a promise ring and vowed to be the only man in her life until she was properly wedded off, explaining,

“I’m going to tell you how beautiful you are every day. Even when you make a mistake, you are someone special. And I am going to be that person until the day you find a man to do that in my place.”

Joe was recently quoted saying :

“What better gift to give her husband? Never touched by another man.”

I did the same thing with my girls, only I didn’t enforce they keep their virginity, in fact I told them that no man wants to marry a virgin. I also told them I had to be in the room to supervise, to make sure they were doing it right. I never gave them a promise ring, rings are for pussies. Just so you know men, I learned them girls real good!

The Jessica Simpson Nip Slip is

HERE (could be a fake)

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Personal Site of the Day

I came across the site, and it made me laugh, or at least it would have if I knew how. My years of let down have raped me of the happy emotion, but if I were you I would laugh, because this list of pictures is for a group of jock girls.

There are pics of them at the gym

Here

There are pics of them at their dance off

Here

There are pics of them simulating ORAL

Here

There are pics of them dressed like whores

Here

There are some weird Lesbian Pic in Boats

Here

There are pics of them in their UNDIES

Here

The whole directory is Here

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Mainstream Movie Handjob

In this movie, there is a scene where the woman gives the dude a 5 second handjob. In case you didn’t know I love handjobs, they are so innocent, and it’s not considered cheating. I am convinced that you can get any girl, single or taken, to give you hand loving, it’s fully acceptable. I don’t think it constitutes as statutory rape either, I am joking, everything is considered statutory rape, especially when the parents of the 16 year old find out your their stepdad.

I am joking… I never do that..

The handjob clip from all ladies do it is HERE

The movie is called “All Ladies Do It”

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Spam of the Day

Remember people – this is SPAM i got in my inbox. I don’t know where the link leads…so if it has spyware or viruses (Viri) it’s your own damn fault…

From: “Massage Tugjobs” MassageTugjobs@getfan.com>
To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
Subject: My dirty JOURNAL from a massage I got advertising

Dirt Massage Parlors advertising:

The night I was there they were very busy. Nice decor inside with a big waiting room. They offer hot tubs and saunas etc if anyone cares. All the men sitting around looked nervous and uncomfortable. But the ladies their were very nice and polite, particularly to men who are patient and polite. When I saw a postal truck parked outside it sort of gave me a good feeling — don’t know why.

Here are six free RUB-N-TUG video clips:
http://www.ezchi.com/gen_ads/gen_mail.php?grid=247&ape=gt4211

Hurry up before the massage parlour gets shut down and my site too!

Don’t want any more? http://www.ezchi.com/nomoremail

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Unionized Jewish Whores

Today’s Jewish fact of the dayinvolves the a jewish stripper from the San Fransisco. Read on:

A Jewish woman was a principal organizer of the only strip club in the United States to be unionized to date. (The “Lusty Lady” in San Francisco) The dancers now have good working conditions.

Everything is on “the up and up”. Unfortunately, the parent union of the Strippers local union has the misleading name of the Service Employees Workers’ Union.

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Peek A Boo Pole Dancing

The only thing better than a strip club is having the strip club come to you. Now that dream can become reality with the peekaboo pole dancing kit. Id better make a note to research the legalities of opening up a strip club before Jesus gets in trouble with the law again. This is the first pole dancing game designed for use in the home. It’s a giggle and a cheeky peek into the art of pole dancing without going the whole hog of getting the builders in to fit a permanent pole.

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Playboy Playmate Anthology

This index lists in order every playmate from the start (1955 to now) with a naked pic ture of each playboy playmate. I wonder how many of these girls Hef got with over the years

Don’t be shy!

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Predicting the future

This article from 1961 predicts what life in 2000 would be like. I guess we are a big failure in their eyes because we are way behind. i want air walls and a hovercraft

It looks as if everything will be so easy that people will probably die from sheer boredom.

You will be whisked around in monorail vehicles at 200 miles an hour and you will think nothing of taking a fortnight’s holiday in outer space.

Your house will probably have air walls, and a floating roof, adjustable to the angle of the sun.

Doors will open automatically, and clothing will be put away by remote control. The heating and cooling systems will be built into the furniture and rugs.

You’ll have a home control room – an electronics centre, where messages will be recorded when you’re away from home. This will play back when you return, and also give you up-to-the minute world news, and transcribe your latest mail.

You’ll have wall-to-wall global TV, an indoor swimming pool, TV-telephones and room-to-room TV. Press a button and you can change the décor of a room.

The status symbol of the year 2000 will be the home computer help, which will help mother tend the children, cook the meals and issue reminders of appointments.

Cooking will be in solar ovens with microwave controls. Garbage will be refrigerated, and pressed into fertiliser pellets.

Food won’t be very different from 1961, but there will be a few new dishes – instant bread, sugar made from sawdust, foodless foods (minus nutritional properties), juice powders and synthetic tea and cocoa. Energy will come in tablet form.

At work, Dad will operate on a 24 hour week. The office will be air-conditioned with stimulating scents and extra oxygen – to give a physical and psychological lift.

Mail and newspapers will be reproduced instantly anywhere in the world by facsimile.

There will be machines doing the work of clerks, shorthand writers and translators. Machines will “talk” to each other.

It will be the age of press-button transportation. Rocket belts will increase a man’s stride to 30 feet, and bus-type helicopters will travel along crowded air skyways. There will be moving plastic-covered pavements, individual hoppicopters, and 200 m.p.h. monorail trains operating in all large cities.

The family car will be soundless, vibrationless and self-propelled thermostatically. The engine will be smaller than a typewriter. Cars will travel overland on an 18 inch air cushion.

Railways will have one central dispatcher, who will control a whole nation’s traffic. Jet trains will be guided by electronic brains.

In commercial transportation, there will be travel at 1000 m.p.h. at a penny a mile. Hypersonic passenger planes, using solid fuels, will reach any part of the world in an hour.

By the year 2020, five per cent of the world’s population will have emigrated into space. Many will have visited the moon and beyond.

Our children will learn from TV, recorders and teaching machines. They will get pills to make them learn faster. We shall be healthier, too. There will be no common colds, cancer, tooth decay or mental illness

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Paris, I Steal my own sex tape

Paris Hilton is so smart she stole her sex tape…maybe she thought that was the only copy

Paris Hilton’s embarrassment and anger over her XXX sex tape finally got the best of the heiress at a Hollywood newsstand she frequents.

In a sudden act caught on video surveillance cameras, Hilton tore up a poster advertising 1 Night in Paris and stole a copy of the infamous movie shot by ex-flame Rick Salomon and sold without her permission! The tape is a best seller, with close to half a million copies sold so far.

Paris’ ordeal occurred on Dec. 15, shortly after she and pals entered Swing News on Sunset Boulevard in L.A. around 3:30 p.m. to buy celebrity magazines, according to the clerk on duty.

“She appeared to be in a good mood and even posed for a picture with me for my celeb scrapbook,” the clerk said. “But as she was setting some magazines down by the cash register, she saw that we were selling her DVD in our adult magazine section. She went from nice to nuts instantly.”

Paris, 23, was reportedly concerned some of her “young fans” who shop at the store might see it and get the wrong impression of her. And she added that she felt betrayed that the store would be selling the DVD even though she shops there “all of the time.”

CAUGHT ON TAPE

Although the clerk tried to appease Paris by placing the DVD in a cubbyhole, Paris saw the poster for the X-rated movie on the side of an ATM in the shop and began shredding it. Her sympathetic friends tried to help by grabbing another Hilton poster, but had to give up as it was chained to the ceiling.

As Paris paid for her magazines, she “reached across the desk and snatched the DVD out of its hiding place,” the clerk said. “She stuffed it into her purse and declared, ‘I’m taking this and I’m not paying for it.'”

The clerk said he called the police and filed a victim’s report for theft and vandalism.

If the reminder of her past mistakes was not enough, six days later on Dec. 21, Paris was again subjected to embarrassment. As she signed autographs outside trendy restaurant Koi in L.A., one fan surprised her by asking her to sign what appeared to be a slightly risque picture of herself.

With the smile quickly disappearing from her face, Paris tore the photo and got into her car.

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2005

04

Jan

I am – We Love Lindsay Lohan

AOL Music loves Lohan and so do we…so I guess we have something in common. Although i think we have diferent reasons. They have some of her videos and an interview so you can see her fake sing…but we still love her

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Jewish

If you are jewish like me, you will love this site. Their motto is “A website even your mother would love” so it has to be great right. Dont miss the fun and games section!

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Sex Change Testimonial

You need to read this site…it’s the best thing I have come across all year! Sex change operation testimonials. Ridiculous!

“PARTS ARE STILL SWOLLEN BUT THAT IS TO BE EXPECTED”

“He is my most recent sexual reassignment surgeon. I trust him. ”

“soon after my return home, I discovered my vagina was too shallow.”

“Cosmetically the appearance of my vagina is convincing and I am able to urinate in a steady stream with no problem”

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Chloe Sevigny's bathing suit

First she sucks dick
Then she joins the circus

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Chloe Sevigny’s bathing suit

First she sucks dick
Then she joins the circus

HERE

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