I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2005

22

Mar

I am – J-Lo’s See-Through Wrap

J-Lo’s a slut, anyway you dice it. Just because she gets married to a lot of people, doesn’t mean that working the scene is okay. We know she’s opened her babyhole up to a minimum of 20 guys, and has married another 10. That is why I am surprised we are looking at her in a see-through skirt and not with a dick in her ass.

More Pics after the jump

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

22

Mar

I am – Leeanne Tweeden

I have no idea who this is, but she’s got one of those sex bodies. A sex body consists of implanted tits, a flat stomach and an ass you can chip a tooth on. Usually these girls with sex bodies grace the covers of men’s magazines everywhere and date rockstars. No one ever actually knows what they do, but they know that they would fuck them given the right opportunity.

More pics after the jump, Keep your eyes open for a little areola (perv)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

22

Mar

I am – T-Shirt of the Day

This shirt’s been around for a while. It says “Rockin’ on Your Dime” and the motherfucking bear’s got a cigarette and drink in hand. It reminds me of my life, all the goodtimes I once had happened with other people’s money. That’s not because I am well-liked, it is actually because I know how to pull a scam, it’s the reason for at least one of my prison stays, and what it comes down to is simple, blowing other people’s hard earned money on your own goodtimes makes life a happier place.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

22

Mar

I am – Milkmen

This has to be some of the weirdest new-wave shit I have seen. A man, jealous of his wife’s ability to breastfeed, used the power of suggestion to get his body to produce breastmilk so he could get in on the action. Now some people may think this is next level business, but I just think it’s hermaphroditic. Does dude let his wife do him with a strap-on? Does dude do the dishes, laundry and cleaning? Does dude get cry and scream for no apparant reason? Is dude really a dude when his baby is suckling his teet.

MILKMEN HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

22

Mar

I am – Mischa Barton's Got a Sister

We all watch the OC, actually I don’t, but I would if I was out on a date with a 16 year old cheerleader. I don’t find Mischa Barton all that hot, but she’s got a sister and a girl’s desirability goes way up when there are two of them. I remember back in Texas, I hooked up with this pretty homely bitch, she was albino, I banged her a couple of times, and it was pretty gross, other than her white pubes and her red eyes, which was cool. As it turned out, she had a sister who was missing a toe, yes her parents were cousins. When we would all hook-up, I seriously convinced myself that these two freaks equaled one average girl, so it made it alright.

More Pics After the Jump

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

22

Mar

I am – Mischa Barton’s Got a Sister

We all watch the OC, actually I don’t, but I would if I was out on a date with a 16 year old cheerleader. I don’t find Mischa Barton all that hot, but she’s got a sister and a girl’s desirability goes way up when there are two of them. I remember back in Texas, I hooked up with this pretty homely bitch, she was albino, I banged her a couple of times, and it was pretty gross, other than her white pubes and her red eyes, which was cool. As it turned out, she had a sister who was missing a toe, yes her parents were cousins. When we would all hook-up, I seriously convinced myself that these two freaks equaled one average girl, so it made it alright.

More Pics After the Jump

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2005

22

Mar

I am – Team Fuck Does Small Talk

What’s up fuckers.

It’s 1:30 am and I just had a conversation with a close friend about my social etiquette, or lack there of, I should say. So if your wondering why I posted a picture of myself over there, its because this post is about me, and my rudeness.

It was recently brought to my attention that at times of social interaction I come across as rude, short-answered, and generally unhappy as a person. It got me thinking, because, by nature I am a pretty nice guy and didnt realize this about myself. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Well, I’m telling you this because the reasoning behind my newly-discovered dick headedness falls right into todays social sub-genre.

Keep Reading After the Jump

SMALL TALKERS

After a few weeks of “soul searching” (AKA heavy drinking and masturbation ) I realized that it’s not myself I hate, its Small Talkers, and, by default, filler conversation.

Lets break it down into a scenario, shall we? You arive at a house party/bar/whatever (fashionably late I hope), scan the room to locate your friends, and head on over. Now at this point you’re 1 of 2 kinds of people. Your either A: The kind to wait for people to aknowledge your presence, give a round of high fives, and join the group. Or your B: The insecure asshole that makes such a scene that everyone in the place knows your there.

Usualy when I walk into a place I’m pretty casual, saying Hi to those I know, and a slight nod to those I dont. However, it is after the inital contact where my problem lies. Once people start making conversation, saying things such as “Hey Steve, whats new”, “Yo man, how was work?”, you know, the SMALL TALK; this is where I get anal. First off, you dont fucking care whats new, so why would you even ask? Second of all, I hardly know you, if something really was “new”, im not going to fucking tell you, asshole. Because, chances are, it would sound somthing like this.

“Oh hey dude, thanks for asking. I just realized that my dick shrank 2 inches and curves to the right. I tried jerking off with the other hand, but im not very good at switch hitting so…ya know, guess im screwed. HAHAHA”

Nobody gives a fuck whats new. ever. If they do, they are really just waiting for you to stop talking so they can tell you about thier problems. Instead, lets just cut the bullshit and do what we came here to do. Get drunk, make fun of eachother in public and forget about how horrible are lives actually aren’t. If i wanna talk, i’ll call you.

Now, alot of people would make the argument that SMALL TALK leads to deeper conversation, it acts as an ice breaker, opens the door and lets you learn more about a person. But those people are the same people that cant wait to talk about themselves. If you really want to bond with me, buy me a beer and help me trash the washroom. I will gladly return the favour.

But Hey, maybe I am wrong. Perhaps this truly is a problem of mine, everyone else seems to think so. My girlfriend even went to the extent as to give me a book called “I dont want to talk about it – Overcoming the secret of male depression”. I ran out of toilet paper and old tshirts, so I’ll give you one guess as to where that book is now.

Social interaction is the strangest thing ever. So many rules, and so many does and donts. In my opinion, the world would be a greater place if we cut the crap, got rid of the filler, and concentraded on one common goal. Getting completly and utterly fucking wasted.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Tooth Pimp

The newest trend for teenage millionnaires is pimping up the chompers with fake jewels and fake tattoos. Teeth that is. As ridiculous as this seems, and as ugly as it looks, ppl are doing it.
I am disgusted.

PICS After Jump


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Haylie Duff's Got Some Big Ass Titties

I am not sure why Haylie Duff is all over the media these days, I am guessing it has to do with who her sister is. I am also guessing that it has nothing to do with her ass of a face and more to do with her big ass titties. I am not the kind of guy who only goes for girls with big tits, even though my fat wife has sandbags that drop to her motherfucking knees, but I am the kind of guy who can categorically breakdown a girl into her main assets. In this case, Haylie Duff’s tits are bigger and better than ever.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Haylie Duff’s Got Some Big Ass Titties

I am not sure why Haylie Duff is all over the media these days, I am guessing it has to do with who her sister is. I am also guessing that it has nothing to do with her ass of a face and more to do with her big ass titties. I am not the kind of guy who only goes for girls with big tits, even though my fat wife has sandbags that drop to her motherfucking knees, but I am the kind of guy who can categorically breakdown a girl into her main assets. In this case, Haylie Duff’s tits are bigger and better than ever.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Microkitten Video Clip

Microkitten is hot shit, if my wife wasn’t a fat and disgusting woman, I would totally buy her a couple of these motherfuckers, but what it comes down to is the fact that this bathing suit would get lost in her huge fucking ass. I am not complaining, she is responsible for my two amazing stepdaughters who look spectacular in a nice sheer bikini top, but I am not the kind of guy who would check out my stepdaughters. Who the fuck am I kidding, those girls are the things that dreams are made of.

The beautiful people at Microkitten sent us an exlcusive clip that will be airing on fashion television. Some people are going to the top, I am not one of them.

Check Out the Clip Here

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2005

21

Mar

I am – T-Shirt of the Day

Whatever happened to all the worlds great romantics. You know, the kind of guy who takes a girl out on a date, wines her and dines her, then drives her home only to tell her she is the most beautiful thing in the world. There has be a societal move that has made men feel that if they buy a girl a drink, they are entitled to their asshole. This even happens in highschool. Sex is a commodity bitches, why you keep throwing yo’ pussies around. This t-shirt of the day is great from all you sleezbags who want to trick girls into thinking you care about them more than you care about their baby-holes. I like to think of myself as the last of the great romantics, only because I bought my wife a couple of burgers and a 14 inch dildo.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Jessica Simpson's Dad

It was determined a long time ago that Jessica Simpson’s dad is a pervert and makes us all uncompfortable. I came across this picture and felt it was worth putting on the site, because as a place where we get drunk and molest people, preacher Simpson is a local star. He has his two big breasted daughters, who he watches closely while they are in bikinis. Now they aren’t in bikinis here, but you’re still a pervert.

More pics after the jump.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Jessica Simpson’s Dad

It was determined a long time ago that Jessica Simpson’s dad is a pervert and makes us all uncompfortable. I came across this picture and felt it was worth putting on the site, because as a place where we get drunk and molest people, preacher Simpson is a local star. He has his two big breasted daughters, who he watches closely while they are in bikinis. Now they aren’t in bikinis here, but you’re still a pervert.

More pics after the jump.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

19

Mar

Elizaebeth Hurley's Topless Sun Bathing From 2000 of the Day

Here are some pictures of Liz Hurley from the year 2000, she is a model who I think is fantastic to look at….especially in some topless beach pictures showing off her topless natural titties….because I guess after dating Hugh Grant, you kinda have that need for male attention….cuz he’s less into natural tits and more into chicks with dicks….true story…

Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley