I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2005

06

Jul

I am – Kate Hudson Puttin' The Baby Back In "der"

If you look at this Kate Hudson pic, you will see her knees wide apart, a position she’s been in a few times before and two of those times were when dude in that band who’s way older than her stuffed her without a condom, cuz no one in Holywood uses condoms (ask Lohan), the second major time she was knees spread was when the baby fell out, while she was at one of dude who’s too old for her concert and this time it seems she’s in this position to try to get the baby to go back to where it came from because she realized that she ended up with a dude who’s too old for her, and even had his baby. In too deep is what one could say, this type of thing usually ends in suicide…..I don’t suggest it, but this celebrity types are crazy!

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2005

06

Jul

I am – Kate Hudson Puttin’ The Baby Back In “der”

If you look at this Kate Hudson pic, you will see her knees wide apart, a position she’s been in a few times before and two of those times were when dude in that band who’s way older than her stuffed her without a condom, cuz no one in Holywood uses condoms (ask Lohan), the second major time she was knees spread was when the baby fell out, while she was at one of dude who’s too old for her concert and this time it seems she’s in this position to try to get the baby to go back to where it came from because she realized that she ended up with a dude who’s too old for her, and even had his baby. In too deep is what one could say, this type of thing usually ends in suicide…..I don’t suggest it, but this celebrity types are crazy!

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2005

06

Jul

I am – Paradose Electro Stimulations

Ever get bored of standard sex toys? They are just too plastic and boring. Do you ever feel like you want something with more of an impact? Lucky for you, there’s a whole range of elecro-toys that shock you in all the right places, it sure beats sticing a fork in your ass and shoving it into a socket that is if you can even afford electricity you poor fuck. We know you live in a shanty and that you’re just rockin’ out at the library, it’s cool brotha, when I was in your situation I would go out to farm country to pee on an electric fence to get the jolt my penis needed to feel alive….it could be the reason I can’t get it up anymore, but I like to just keep blaming the wife….

The Electro-Flexâ„¢ Anal Plug will change the way you think about anal action. Built with comfort in mind, mildly soft Electro-Flexâ„¢ material works like no other probe you’ve ever used.

When the Power Box is tuned properly, Electro Stimulation causes the sphincter muscle to contract rhythmically, forcing the plug smoothly in and out of the anus. This auto erotic effect is unique to Electro Stimulation.

Electro-Flexâ„¢ Anal Plugs come in various sizes (see table above) and in double and single electrode configurations. Both the double and single electrode models have their own unique Electro Stimulative properties.

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2005

06

Jul

I am – Tom Hanks: Pedophile

They say it’s his kids, but I don’t have the fucking DNA test and we know he’s got money, he can buy himself a 12 year old and pretend it’s his son. His own personal sex slave, like he was to the gym coach or the priest if he’s not jewish (everyone in entertainment is) or the cub scout leader or the grade 3 teacher…..point of the story is: this is how you get a website shut down. LOVE!

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2005

05

Jul

I am – Jessica Simpson Areola

Listen up you fucking perverts, I am still around, I just have other things to do with my time. Bringing you random shit isn’t always goodtimes, so when I spend I week fucking college girls, I step back and prioritize, unfortunately you didn’t make the cut, but I am sure you are used to that. I came across this Jessica Simpson areola slip, and figured I would put this up for now, before I get into the full swing of things, and by swing I don’t mean watching my wife getting fucked by another dude, cuz I wouldn’t want that shit for anyone, bitch is gross. Jessican Simpson is pretty hot right now, but that doesn’t seem to change the fact that she’s having trouble covering up her massive tits….

I will be back later with more, cuddles!

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2005

24

Jun

I am – Cameron Diaz on the Beach

It’s summer, and with summer comes summer vacation and for celebities, that means trips to beaches. With the beach comes bikinis and with celebrity comes paparazzi, and combined comes pictures of celebrities on beaches in Bikinis. Here are a few pictures of Cameron Diaz, I don’t know what the fuck is on her ass, I think it’s causes by Justin Timberlake’s roughneck ways, upon fucking her, he realizes that he could be fucking ever 18 year old out there, and with his fits of rage comes fits of fury and he spanks the shit out of Diaz for ruining his youth. I could be completely wrong, but I remember knowing a guy who had a girlfriend for 10 years, she dumped him, he was 30 and he realized that he was monogamous for so long, and he passed up so much pussy, and he was now all alone crushed and battered. This may happen to JT, but it didn’t happen to me, I just slept with whore after whore after whore. Take my word for it, dump your girlfriends now, because all relationships will end horribly.

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2005

24

Jun

I am – Sensory Deprivating Mask

Bondage is funny. The reason it is funny is because it is based on humility. It’s all about making a complete fool of yourself, while have a hard-on throughout the process. It’s like going up on stage to sing a song in front of 1000s, of people, only to forget the words and realize that you don’t really even know how to sing. It’s like going for a jog and ending up 20 miles away from home, only to shit yourself and walk home soiled and in shambles. It’s like that time that those bullies in highschool tied you to the fence naked and brought out all the hot girls to laugh and point. It’s all about being in a vulnerable position with your mistress in a Sensory Deprivating Mask…

The Ultimate Sensory Deprivation Bondage Hood

Grit your teeth and bear it boy! This hood is not for those that panic. This heavy duty hood is hand made to exceptional quality standards. When the 3 locking leather straps are pulled tight against the padded eyes, mouth and ear areas you get that oh boy feeling. With your senses leaving quickly you become very submissive to your master’s demands and struggle to hear their every word. This is by far one of the finest hoods we offer. Comes in one size with laces for adjusting to fit.

Features:

* Padded leather ear pockets
* Padded leather reinforcement for eyes and mouth
* 3/4 inch mouth hole
* Leather laced rear back for snug fit
* 3 extra leather locking straps
* Straps can be used with or without padlocks

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2005

24

Jun

I am – Victoria Beckham on the Beach


I rarely compliment girls for looking good. I figure enough suck up bitches do that in attempts to get in their pants. In case you haven’t realized it doesn’t work. The only girls who you can be nice to and guarantee play from is fat girls, and who the fuck wants a fat girl. All you have to say is “baby, you look so good tonight”, and she’s yours. Only because she has limited selection in who she can get with. Beckham has had something like 10 kids, and bitch’s body is still slamming. You gotta give respect where it’s due. If all women who have kids, could bounce back into shape…you’re options in pussy would be limited. You need the fatties with baggage and low standards to get laid.

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2005

24

Jun

I am – Fleshlight Discussion Board Post of the Day

The beauty of the Fleshlight is that all Fleshlight users are pretty predictable. I always assumed they were people who don’t have sex on the regular, if ever and are people who spend a lot of time on the internet. Now, I spend a lot of time on the Internet, but that’s only because I fear facing the world out there. It is so big and offers so many opportunities that I would rather sit on my chair and leave it at that. This Fleshlight reader brings my point home with the fact that he is webcamming some girl in 1000 miles away, who is really a 65 year old dude, only to think to himself that he’s got a chance, until he looks down and realizes that he’s got a Fleshlight in his hand.

I was talking to a friend online when the package arrived. She talked me into turning my webcam on to watch me use it for the first time. When I first slid into it I thought it felt good, but wasn’t too excited. But once I got the hang of playing with the endcap to adjust the suction and using different speeds it was awesome. I would definately recommend it to anyone on the fence about getting one. BTW…I got the pink lady wonder wave.

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2005

24

Jun

I am – Victoria Silvstedt topless Beach Pics

I did a post about her a couple of days ago, she was getting raped by a midget and it was documented. Now, I assume she’s still on the same midget-rape vacation on this time she decided to let you tits get some son. She is topless, you like that shit, even though they are retardedly fake, you’d still stick it to her. I am not a fan of the breast implant. That’s all I have to say about that.

Via DoubleViking

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2005

22

Jun

I am – LiveBloggin Lohan On Letterman….

Lohan is turning 19, I guess that makes her damaged goods. I know fantasies are made of 18 year old celebrity cocaine addicts, at least mine are. I like to think they aren’t really fantasies, but let’s face it what would Lohan want a 35 year old, poor, overweight mexican canadian for…I used to always get girls who wanted to piss off their dads, it was a whole rebelious thing, well Lohan doesn’t really have a dad, he’s in jail, and she wrote him off, her new date is in powdered form..so my strategy just won’t work….anyway Lohan is on Letterman, so I figured why not do a liveblog, or at least try…I have never done this before, and probably never will but this is the reason we are the home of Lohan.

11:59 – Announcer is making North Korea Jokes – Not making me laugh

12:00 – Letterman says “we’ll be right back with Lohan, my balls tingle.

12:03 – Dave introduces Loha, she walks out showing leg that slag

12:04 – Dave says she’s gorgeous, she giggles pretending she’s shocked, come on Lohan we know you think you’re hot

12:05 – Lohan is talking about her sports history, rubs her nose, talks about a bubble, not my kind of bubble

Read More of this Garbage – After the Jump….

12:05 – Dave makes a french joke, Lohan rubs nose, Lohan says the word “sore”

12:05 – Lohan says she works out, by walking and lifting, Lohan rubs nose

12:05 – She’s so smiley, rubs nose, talks about cells, and being on trampoline with siblings

12:06 – Lohan talks about being 19 and declares she has no boyfriend

12:06 – Lohan is deep, she says we are all intitled to our own opinions, even me, thanks Lohan

12:07 – Lohan says she doesn’t eat

12:07 – Lohan says she hit puberty at 17, that means she’s only had pubic hair for 2 years, must have been a tough teenage life, being the only girl who didn’t bleed

12:08 – Lohan talks about the paparazzi, and offers to chase dave – rubs nose

12:08 – Lohan is in love, she’s been hiding it for 2 months, rubs nose

12:09 – Lohan works too much, Lohan doesn’t know if she has a boyfriend, Lohan rubs nose

12:10 – Lohan doesn’t know what to do when she sees 10 cars of paparazzi, it is endagering the people, by people she means herself, she is of course the only one in her (rubs nose) world

12:11 – Lohan is creeped out by people who smirk, but not by South American de-virginizers

12:11 – Lohan has bruises, make up does wonders, but doesn’t cover up the shit stains on her face

12:12 – Commericial break, we get to see a clip when they come back – I would be hard if I wasn’t impotent

12:17 – Lohan’s back, talking about some dude named Michael, let’s pretend by Michael she means Me….oh it’s clip time, fuck dude I can’t take the anticipation, I love shitty clips of shitty movies, Lohan Rubs her fucking nose again….jesus

12:18 – Lohan rubs nose before clip, oh – it’s not a real clip it’s a joke clip, we laugh and we laugh with Lohan, Dave’s so clever. Real clip comes on, I zone out….

12:19 – it’s over now we can go back to hating ourselves…. Lohan is happy her nipple didn’t fall out of her dress like it did on Leno

Conclusion, I hate live-blogging and will never do it again…..

Posted in:stepLIVEBloggin'|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

22

Jun

I am – Street Art of the Day

I know you haven’t got laid in a long time, don’t feel bad, sometimes I would take a lack of pussy than having to sleep with my wife, but I won’t get into that, because I wouldn’t want to divert from the fact that you take pleasure in this street art, even though it’s of a guy cumming in another guys face, the way it should be when every girl you have ever approached has told you that you aren’t there type…you are a homo because of extraneous factors, not by birth or choice but because of neceessity homo. Shouldn’t you be changing your panties or something?

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2005

22

Jun

I am – Exhibitionist of the Day

This could be your mother, I wouldn’t know, we’ve never met and I doubt we ever will, I am not into this whole internet friendship thing, ya know how it is, makes me feel a little weird. Anyway, if this girl isn’t your mom, she’s someone’s mom and I am guessing to spice up her marriage she decided to pull her floppy tit out for someone to get a kick out of. That someone is obviously a very weird person, probably spends a lot of time on the internet just like you….maybe one day you will be lucky enough to get a nasty bitch to flash you while camera is in hand. That way, maybe your friends will believe that you have seen a breast in person, then again if this is the only tit you’re seeing, you probably don’t have many friends….Cuddles.

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2005

22

Jun

I am – Kevin Federline White Trash Diet

White trash is not really in style, it just seems like a lot of white trash have made lots of money or married into it recently. This means they have nicer houses than you, a better quality of life, fucking hotter bitches, but you can’t take the trash outta them and that means going to the store for a bag of chips and a pack of smokes. This is the shit poor families pack in their kid’s school lunches, provided they aren’t too drunk to bother…

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2005

22

Jun

I am – Fleshlight Discussion Board Post of the Day

It seems like when you have never had the opportunity to touch a real vagina, a rubber one feels as close to the real thing as you ever imagined while you pleasured yourself with your hand or other random household items. I guess this is next level masturbation and I shouldn’t judge, if anything I should be thanking fleshbot for preventing reproduction of people like you and more importantly I should thank them for keeping you off the streets and in your house, because people like you, Virgins for Life always end up giving in to your needs and doing something stupid like raping a girl. Desperations a bitch, get a fleshlight.

the fleshlight came already warm in the bag and ready to be deflowered. Couldn’t wait, so I emptied the lube and stuck my penis in right then and there, because I knew I would not make it to the bedroom alive. At first, I gasped like a little girl on halloween, but then proceeded to pump like a fevered rottweiler in heat. The silky texture tickled my scrotum and brought new meaning to the word blue balls. I noticed i took the end cap off, so I screwed that sucker on tight and right then and there it sucked the living daylight out of me. Suction = good shit fellas, as I pulled out panting and rug burned, there was a pleasant slurp sound that rang like music to my ears.

GO GET YOUR FL NOW.

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