I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2004

20

Dec

I am – Playing the Skin Flute

Today’s up and coming star is Ron Korb. Ron has a great website and a lot of info that involves his flutist career. I strongly recommend you show your love and support to Ron here.

My affinity for the flute is simple, when I was a really young boy in mexico, before my mother threw me over the Texan border, I was in the choir. I remember after choir practice my teacher would bring me into his office. In Mexico, an office meant behind the well where got the water. He would pull off his pants and make me play the skin flute. It didn’t make and nice sounds, but the more I blew that more bigger and louder it got.

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Alan Thicke

Our dead celebrity of the day is Alan Thicke. The multi-talented host of Pictionary. The dad in Kirk Cameron’s breakthrough series Growing Pains, the composer of the Wheel of Fortune Theme song…. the composer of the Facts of Life theme song, that bitch tootie is worth a round…



Thicke with lover

Alan Thicke launched his career as Rene Simards manager. For those of you who don’t know, Rene Simard was the Quebec version of Britney Spears. Guy Cloutier, a Quebec media mogul and the person who launched Rene Simards career was recently charged with sexually molesting 12 year old girls. Rumor is that Alan was in on this and would take Rene to the zoo…if you know what I mean.

Today – We commemorate Alan Thicke for all his life changing work, and we acknowledge the bus that ran him, and his career over.

Here (warning high-tech power point effects)

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Tom Cruise's Generous Donation

Celebrity Philathropy:

Tom Cruise generously tipped a young accident victim $5,000 when he visited an ice-cream store. The Hollywood heartthrob called in on the shop while taking a break from filming new movie ‘War of the Worlds’ in Virginia, America, when he spotted a collection jar funding hospital bills for 11-year-old Ashley Flint, who was hurt in a go-karting crash.So the handsome star put in 50 $100 bills before he left the store as he wanted to make sure Ashley got the medical attention she needed. Store worker Jason Donald said: “The girl was a stranger and he made this amazing donation.”

Ashley, who was crushed on a go-kart that rolled over twice and his had to have major surgery three times. (contact music)

Tom Cruise made $45,000,000 last year alone, this doesn’t count all his investments and other revenue streams. This is strictly from movies this year.

To put this into perspective that would be the equivalent of someone who makes $45,000 a year donating $5…

I tipped my taxi driver $3 today, proportionately, I gave more than Cruise did. Where the fuck is my article, oh yeah that’s right, it’s here!

Fuckers.

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Tom Cruise’s Generous Donation

Celebrity Philathropy:

Tom Cruise generously tipped a young accident victim $5,000 when he visited an ice-cream store. The Hollywood heartthrob called in on the shop while taking a break from filming new movie ‘War of the Worlds’ in Virginia, America, when he spotted a collection jar funding hospital bills for 11-year-old Ashley Flint, who was hurt in a go-karting crash.So the handsome star put in 50 $100 bills before he left the store as he wanted to make sure Ashley got the medical attention she needed. Store worker Jason Donald said: “The girl was a stranger and he made this amazing donation.”

Ashley, who was crushed on a go-kart that rolled over twice and his had to have major surgery three times. (contact music)

Tom Cruise made $45,000,000 last year alone, this doesn’t count all his investments and other revenue streams. This is strictly from movies this year.

To put this into perspective that would be the equivalent of someone who makes $45,000 a year donating $5…

I tipped my taxi driver $3 today, proportionately, I gave more than Cruise did. Where the fuck is my article, oh yeah that’s right, it’s here!

Fuckers.

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Google Images

Today’s word is a christmas word, as it is the countdown to christmas day. I feel it is important to get everyone into the christmas spirit, even if you are jewish and on the beach, or arab and suicide bombing that same beach.

Today’s word is Rudolph, check out the results here

The top five results are:

Rudolph the Man

Rudolph the Pervert

Rudolph your Panties are Showing

Rudolph the Homo Erotic

Rudolph the Mask

Now that should get you all in the xmas spirit…

-Jesus

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Bat Mitzvahed

I felt bad posting a picture of a Bar Mitzvah…and completely neglecting the girl equivalent.

I asked myself “why am I such a mysogenistic bastard…”
Women are people too…
They aren’t just hear to pleasure me and make me food…
They also have bat mitzvahs
And I feel obligated to post my Bat Mitzvah picture of the day…

HERE

This picture doubles as a pedophile picture of the day… because this 12 year old girl’s got more cleavage than my mom….I blame the hormones in dairy products, discuss.

Oh – I had to throw this in.. because it’s fucking perverted

Here

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Friendster Message of the Day

Subject: Lucifer

Message:
Morning star, Satan…I banish you back to your own friendster page!!I DON’T LIKE POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!byebye

Sabrina looks like this:

Here

Sabrina is NOT my friendster….

Sabrina’s profile is restricted to ppl she knows….

Here

Sabrina is in Thailand turning tricks for old business men from England who like objects inserted in their Batty. I know you are thinking
“who doesn’t like things in their Batty…….” well…I don’t know the answer to that, but I can bet you money that Sabrina’s parents would role over in their graves if they new what their angel was up to….provided they are dead….

get it?

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2004

20

Dec

I am – an old picture of Paris, Lohan and Simpson

We call this triple herpe threat…

It’s a night on the town with Hilton, Lohan and Simpson.

2 of the 3 have been busted lip syncing, but Paris’ album has been released yet.

3 of the 3 are coke sluts

3 of the 3 are party sluts

3 of the 3 have sucked on Sancho’s balls

Sancho is my cousin, he gets all the bitches…

This series continues into the car…but it’s about as interesting as Paris’ sex tape

I mean that girl can’t fuck…

HERE

UPDATE: HERE are the rest of the pictures, Fred Durst is such a twat.

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Jessica Tandy Fact of the Day

Tandy was the daughter of a traveling salesman and grew up in London

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Lohan In Playboy

Check this out…

LOHAN SHOOTS DOWN PLAYBOY SPECULATION
Redhead actress LINDSAY LOHAN has expressed her horror at reports she considered gracing the pages of men’s magazine PLAYBOY.
While the 18-year-old FREAKY FRIDAY star admits she was approached by the adult publication, she insists it was never to do a nude spread. She explains, “I’m not doing Playboy, no. Never. They contacted my publicist and they asked if I would do their 20 questions spread, which is not a nude photo that they do with it. It’s a regular photo.
“But I do have a DISNEY movie coming out and a young fan base and I’m not interested in doing Playboy right now in my life.

Notice “NOT INTERESTED RIGHT NOW IN HER LIFE”

Translation is, “when I snort all my money up my nose, and I can’t secure another acting gig, because my Tatem O’Neal image doesn’t support my talentless disney gigs/records/tv shows that I get, this false sense of security my sudden popularity has given me, also greatly contributes to my future falling down, that being said, when I am broke, waiting for my next fix, I will take playboy up on their offer, it may be that boost I need in my career, to get me in the face of the public again”.

Lohan, although your breasts will be a little saggier, I will save a dance for you…and by dance I mean, erection from the future spread.

LOVE – Jesus

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Pam's Panties

Yes – I am surprised too … why the hell is Pam Anderson rocking a pair of underwear. It’s not like the world hasn’t seen her Cooch. I was just watching it here… yeah that is DJ Tommy Lee’s cock…. and yes that was the night she got Hepatitis….

Pam was shopping with Paris last week, we all know this because I posted about it… I made a comment about how they are working together on a new sex tape or something genius like that ( I don’t remember, because I block out my posts)…

ANYWAY, Pam is jacking her jogging skirt up, so the world can appreciate a covered genital region. Rumor is she’s trying to keep the scent contained…just a rumor though… I have no proof other than this rash…

HERE

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Pam’s Panties

Yes – I am surprised too … why the hell is Pam Anderson rocking a pair of underwear. It’s not like the world hasn’t seen her Cooch. I was just watching it here… yeah that is DJ Tommy Lee’s cock…. and yes that was the night she got Hepatitis….

Pam was shopping with Paris last week, we all know this because I posted about it… I made a comment about how they are working together on a new sex tape or something genius like that ( I don’t remember, because I block out my posts)…

ANYWAY, Pam is jacking her jogging skirt up, so the world can appreciate a covered genital region. Rumor is she’s trying to keep the scent contained…just a rumor though… I have no proof other than this rash…

HERE

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2004

20

Dec

I am – Cher, Rock On

I was a huge Cher fan back when Sonny and Cher was the TV show of the century. I remember the song about having you babe and all that shit. I remember thinking to myself how Sonny gives mexican’s everywhere so much hope to make in life…too bad he skied into a tree and died…

You probably would too if you were married to this punjabi dressing hooker!

Here

and

Here

NOTE: Cher is 65 years old and 65 is never hot.

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2004

19

Dec

I am – X-Tina's Dildo Nipple Slip

X-Tina was reading this blog last week and she emailed me telling me how much she likes my Dead Celebrity of the day. She is all about the whole 1940s thing. I remember when she was just a good latina genie in a bottle rubbing me the right way… I remember when she was dirrty, and I remember when she was a fighter. I also remember when my stepdaughter begged for implants after x-tina rocked a pair….instead I gave her a steak and she shut the fuck up, that girl loves to eat!

X-Tina was leaving some club with some guy she calls her fiance…and her boobs fell out of her shirt/lingerie/corset/ chastity belt (and I don’t mean Cher’s dyke daughter)

If you squint like a china man you may see nipple!

Here

and

Here

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2004

19

Dec

I am – X-Tina’s Dildo Nipple Slip

X-Tina was reading this blog last week and she emailed me telling me how much she likes my Dead Celebrity of the day. She is all about the whole 1940s thing. I remember when she was just a good latina genie in a bottle rubbing me the right way… I remember when she was dirrty, and I remember when she was a fighter. I also remember when my stepdaughter begged for implants after x-tina rocked a pair….instead I gave her a steak and she shut the fuck up, that girl loves to eat!

X-Tina was leaving some club with some guy she calls her fiance…and her boobs fell out of her shirt/lingerie/corset/ chastity belt (and I don’t mean Cher’s dyke daughter)

If you squint like a china man you may see nipple!

Here

and

Here

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