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2014

30

Sep

Teabagging Video of the Day

My friends over at MyPakage, the best underwear you can buy on the internet…if not the planet…put together this tea party video that is pretty fucking genius…probably probably one of the best underwear viral videos in the history of underwear videos..

It’s called TeaBaggging, and a bunch of ladies have an sleazy Tea Party, after getting excited by the mail man delivering his “Pakage”

Clever and amazing…now if only there was an unrated version with more labia…you know the kind of labia you’d want to invest in underwear to not humiliate yourself when you finally get the chance to have sex…

You see, my soiled, ripped, discoloured underwear don’t impress….but in my defence, I pay the girls I have sex with -so they have to deliver regardless…

Get you own pair so you can scream at girls to “Lick MyPakage“….

Right…

Posted in:Videos

2014

30

Sep

Heather Marks Nude Selfie on Set of the Day

Heather Marks is a Canadian model. I haven’t met her at the yearly Canada party I talk about here, but that no one seems to care about, because Canada.

I guess the fashion and modelling world picked her up and made her rich early on in life, so now at 26, she doesn’t need any of my maple syrup dripping off her chin, all over her amazing body.

I am sure she’s had the Maple Syrup of many rich – A-List men all over over amazing body…and I would just pollute all she’s built up for herself…

You know, too cool for my igloo, wolves and not giving me her beaver…ever…but she is giving her beaver to world on set somewhere – in a selfie that is amazing

I have no idea where she posted it, but as a model, this is part of the job…you know the whole being naked thing – and thank god for that. Let’s hope she takes her daily nudity more seriously and documents it – because this is magical. Everything I ever wanted in a selfie without anus.

Posted in:Heather Marks

2014

30

Sep

Andrea Sportono for Numero of the Day

Turns out that when a model – like this Andrea Spotorno – who I haven’t heard of but who is probably already rich from modelling because of her hard features, tall as fuck body, willingness to get naked and the whole not being fat thing – wears a bubble wrap shirt for a fashion magazine – and I can see her nipples – I get pretty happy. Maybe it is because bubble wrap was the only toy I got on Christmas, while the kids I was in the foster home with got actual toys, that came wrapped in bubble wrap…you know being the Mexican no one wanted and all…maybe Bubble wrap was my only childhood friend when I couldn’t speak the language….maybe popping each and every bubble released deep rooted hurt in my soul – like I was a cutter…or maybe I just like model tits…

Either way, I wouldn’t notice her on the street other than to say “Look at the that tall skinny monster, I bet she’s a model”…but right now, right here…I am all about her little model tits. Boom.

Posted in:Andrea Spotorno

2014

30

Sep

Ferne McCann Nude Selfie of the Day

When you don’t know who the person in the topless pic is…you know that the topless pic was leaked by them in order to ride the tail end of all the topless pics…hoping that no one will notice that she’s not relevant enough for anyone to hack…and hoping that she’ll get clustered in with everyone else…to get a very minimal amount of press…because they are just tits…and she’s not in it with someone who matters.

The real strategy, and if you’re an aspiring star, you can steal this…is to wait until this all blows over – and people are starved for nude celebrity content – then find yourself a low level celebrity preferably a married woman people know – fuck her and email me the video…I’ll take care of you becoming household…it’s easy…

THis Ferne McCann, from TOWIE, a UK Reality show, is failing at scandal….and to think she’s from a Reality show…where having no shame is what she does….and more importantly, Europe where tits are shirts…what a fail…

Posted in:Ferne McCann

2014

30

Sep

Miley Cyrus in Some Topless Instagrams of the Day

Miley Cyrus takes narcism and attention whoring into her own hands…and I respect her for that…when a girl is all uptight about her nudes and I have to pretty much sign an NDA and confidentiality about her nudes – in order to get her nudes – even though if she’s sending me those nudes – chances are she’s sending other people those nudes – because she thinks she looks good in the nudes – and 99 percent of people sent nudes will show their friends – except me – because I have no friends – no seriously. No. Friends. Let’s face it – is that really surprising…

I just wish her nudes were lest thematic, artistic, high concept and more spread asshole in front of the mirror with a household object inserted. Seriously.

What is this instagram friendly toplessness, we’ve all seen her nipples, that means any self produced erotica needs to be a little more shocking than what I can google.

Her selfie game strong, her nude selfie game…a fail…but here it is anyway. Because, young and topless.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2014

30

Sep

Eilika Meckbach Titties for Schon of the Day

Eilika Meckbach is some German model – which I guess means she gets shit on, and not even for money, but because she’s German and that’s how they have sex. It’s all a biproduct of that whole NAZI “egg” on their face…shit. You know a socialist society controlled by their dictator may be a thing of 60 years ago..but the pragmatic, good at Engineering, foundation of a culture, just doesn’t erase itself…it goes to the bedroom and shits on loved ones…I mean…or the fetish club in some back alley in berlin.

Either way, Eilika Meckbach, is lovely, covered in shit of showing tit for a fashion magazine and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Eilika Meckbach

2014

30

Sep

Natasha Poly Titties for Vogue Paris of the Day

Natasha Poly is a Russian mom…pushing 30…and she’s in a recent Vogue Paris shot by Mario Testino….and she is showing some tit, posing with her baby, because this is fashion motherfuckers…and I am impressed because she is looking better than 99 percent of mom’s out there, you know the kind with their flappy stomachs hanging over their pants, because they are too exhausted to hit the gym, as they struggle to carry their baby supplies into Stabucks to caffeinate – hoping to get through another day…you know the kind of moms who will never lose the weight, age 20 years…

I guess this says something about the resilience of a Russian people, or maybe of someone with lots of money…because she could have ended up a cam girl – and would probably still look as good in pictures…

Posted in:Natasha Poly

2014

30

Sep

Jennifer Lawrence Paparazzi Picture of the Day

I think it is safe to say that Jennifer Lawrence is far better at taking nudes.

Before the Nudes, she was one of the most overrated, overrated hyped, boring celebrities to win award after award…then I realized…shit this girl loves taking pics of herself, and she looked substantially better in those pics…making her suddenly matter. I judge all girls by their quality of nude.

Now she’s acting all scared of the paparazzi. It’s like girl, we’ve seen your ass get fingered, we’re all friends here, it’s no big deal…no need to hide…own your shit…like you owned those nudes…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence

2014

30

Sep

Eva Mendes Shitty Catalog Pics of the Day

If the fact that Eva Mendes, the token hot hispanic girl who got naked in movies because it paid better than getting naked at Miami strip clubs, having a kid didn’t ruin Eva Mendes for you…

Maybe these shitty, low budget, garbage catalog pics will…it’s like she looks like shit – up on some flyer junk mail you only jerk off to because you are testing your masturbation capabilities…and new low level part time models are erotic enough for you

Or maybe they’ll excite you because they really show how desperate she is for money – work – etc.

Posted in:Eva Mendes