I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

09

Sep

Taylor Momsen Dressed Like a 16 Year Old Genie of the Day

I have a story of a girl who reminds me a lot of this Taylor Momsen chick, only she wasn’t 16, she was 18 but looked pretty much the same as this Taylor Momsen chick, tall, skinny, fake blonde ratty hair and a fucked up scraggle face and it goes like this.

Close to 10 years ago, right before I met my wife in person, I was fucking around on a chatroom or forum, it’s been a while and my memory is shit, but I was talking to this young girl who kept complaining about her telemarketing job and how broke she was and it turned out she lived right down the street from me. Rent was due and she was desperate. I saw opportunity.

So after talking for a few days, I convinced her that she needed to become a stripper because it is easy money. She had never been to a stripclub, had no money to go to a stripclub but did have a bottle of rum she got on a family vacation to Cuba or some bullshit and I was thirsty and in the mood for an low impact adventure that I didn’t have to leave my house for. So I offered to teach her everything I knew.

So she shows up at my shitty apartment, hands me the bottle, puts her CD in and starts dancing her skinny body around. She sucked and was pulling weird hip hop moves but was getting naked, flashing me and the whole thing was okay, even if her skinny body wasn’t much to look at, and her face was even worse to look at, mainly because she was missing teeth. My theory was that at least she didn’t smell, even though she looked like she would….
Either way, the whole thing was so funny I had to invite my friend over to see this bitch and he stayed for a few minutes, but I could tell she was feeling awkward and we had so much more to get done, like lap dances, so he left.

I started to explain the lap dance to her, she started playing out what I was telling her to do and I ended up going down on her when she stuck her ass in my face, at that point I was pretty drunk and decided to bang her without a condom, figuring broke girls who never go to stripclubs ,who you meet off the internet because they want you to teach them how to strip are safe, especially when they are only 18. I think I even busted inside her and remember for at least a week thinkinghow much it would suck if I had knocked her up and had to hang with her raising the kid together until I pissed fire and razor blades from the STD she gave me cuz it turned out that 18 year olds you meet off the internet who are missing teeth and look unshowered who go to strangers houses to strip for free and let you bang them without a condom after drinking a bottle of rum, aren’t usually the safest people to have unprotected sex with…..at least it was only one of those anti-biotic STDs….

Here are some pics of Taylor Momsen reminding me of a dirtier time….dressed like a genie.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

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