My biggest fail of Art Basel so far…and it is only the first day…is that I missed this Miley Cyrus in pantyhose and a thong while wearing pasties…because she’s an artist, up on some Lady Gaga kick, only reaching a younger crowd and doing it pretty fucking awesome…even if it’s all fake…because nothing in life is real…except this fantasy boner I have for Miley right now….who I hope is still in Miami…so that I can throw sperm at her and hope that it sticks…because being Miley’s K-Fed is my fucking dream.