I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2017

17

Mar

Beard Oil Gets Booty of the Day

As much as beards have got a bad reputation of being hipster, or lumberjack chic, or whatever, I am a firm believer, as someone who hasn’t shaved in the last decade, that they are also a great representation of how much you don’t give a fuck…if you know any reclusive people, myself included, you’ll know that they all have ratty fucking beards…because along with not showering, buying clothes, fitness or really anything else, shaving isn’t on the list of todos…so beards…as often as they are cheesy or lame…are wonderful….and I wouldn’t shave mine off…it’s like my sixth sense, my superpower that gives me extra sensitivity, my place to get soaked when a girl rides my face, you know…because some girls, not just SANTA fetishists love the beard….and I love telling them to braid their pubic hair into my face…

NOW…I have never oiled my beard, besides the occasional hooker juices or burger grease, but the good people at LOVELYBEARDS sent me a package and not only did I oil my beard…I used my newly coiffed beard to seduce a girl into a hotel room to pose with their products….as a thank you to them…because apparently…beards get booty….but a oiled beard gets better quality booty…right…RIGHT..

SO if you or someone you know has a beard… GET SOME BEARD OIL NOW

SO if you or someone you know has a beard… GET SOME BEARD OIL NOW

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