Gabrielle Union is in her 40s, has been posting bikini pics incessantly the last little while…I guess she’s on Vacation her hashtag is the WADE WORLD TOUR, cuz her husband and baby daddy is some dude named Wade…and you can see him grabbing her ass….

People are really excited by her for whatever reason, which is funny because when reading Gabrielle Union’s wiki, I learned that she thought she was ugly, had self esteem issues, thought she’d never be pretty, therefore she thought she was ugly….which is a fully bullshit story because if she really thought she was ugly she wouldn’t be famous an in the paprazzi, that’s some hot chick telling her fat friend she feels fat bullshit, you know fishing for fucking compliments…if she was ugly, why is she 48 and producing jerk off material for her fans…it doesn’t add up scientifically..

Her other crazy story is that she was raped at 19 when working at Payless and got a nice cash settlement….you know probably not enough to warrant the rape, but YOU never know…maybe it was one of those “That was traumatic” like when I got circumcised as a child by the doctor you’d expect to trust wasn’t some baby dick eater….but at least she got paid…

You should just be happy her rape had a shining lining, because she could have easily become a man-hating lesbian like all these other rape victims, and they’re the worst.

Am I allowed to use the word rape? Is that banned yet? Who cares, I’ve been censored forever….I have no one left to annoy…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Gabrielle Union