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Archive for the Ashley Olsen Category




Ashley Olsen Bikini Pics of the Day

I never cared for the Olsen twins in a sexual fantasy kind of way. I was one of those guys who agreed with people when they said the Olsen twins were at their hottest in Full House…not because I am a pedo who likes 3 year olds…but because they hadn’t grown into obscure looking creatures from the same uterus….Sure I always liked their skinny and I always like that Ashley was better looking and well put together while the other looked tormented and like death…my favorite part of twins is always thee insecure one….but I just could never really get into it….but now that Ashley Olsen got into a bikini, showed off a decent looking ass with no cellulite, I figure I could easily be into K-Fed-ing her…and if you saw the kind of trash I stick my dick in….you’d understand why…. weird alien ass.


Posted in:Ashley Olsen




Ashley Olsen Thick Hips of the Day

Never fucked with that Olsen Twin fetish…didn’t think they were hot…even if I thought the jokes about jerking off to them since they were on Full House jokes were funny…but do like that they are so abused by their fame that they look like they are scared of the world….it’s on some Michael Jackson kick…that makes me feel less gay about getting hard while lookin’ at pics of the shit…you know like some predator in the savanah after some Gazelle lost his herd while looking for a watering whole….not that the Olsens or Michael Jackson ever got me hard, especially now that he’s dead and she’s grown some wide hips that I can only blame winning the eating disorder battle and an alien face and no twin by her side to make their average look combined into something worth noticing, maybe cuz I’ve alway been more motivated by looks than finances…..who cares….it’s a fucking Olsen twin…I think the general public got over it when she turned 18.

Posted in:Ashley Olsen




Ashley Olsen Shows Off Some Leg of the Day

Remember when the Olsen twins were all the fucking rage. It was like every teenage girl idolized these girls and thought they were the hottest, most interesting person in the world. I am not sure if it was their fashion sense or the fact they made hundreds of millions of dollars with shitty quality kids movies, or maybe that the world had a twin fetish, because fucking two of the same girl at the same time is hot enough to neglect what the pussy actually looks like, you know it’s one of those “Bucket List” things you have to make sacrifices to make happen, and decent twins became hot and half retarded siamese twins became good enough because our choices were limited…..But I am sure that they definitely don’t have it going on anymore, not that they ever did, but I’m hoping the rest of the public see that and least based on these pictures and I can’t imagine any stupid teen girl, or treasure troll fan idolizing them anymore and as far as I am concerned the Olsen Twin fetish is done…

Here is Ashley Olsen making her way out of hibernating the last few years to show off some pretty boring leg.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Leg




Ashley Olsen’s Hipster Jog of the Day

I hate hipsters. I thought that shit would have died by now but for some reason it’s just become mainstream even though the idiot hipsters still think they are part of an exclusive group despite being part of the idiot masses. Something I thought was the total opposite of being a hipster so I get confused when I see a huge mass of jaded, cynical, indy people because I used to think “indy” or whatever it is that hipsters stand for besides no washing, pretending to be artists and cooler than fucking cool while dressing like they don’t have a trust fund….and you can partially blame the Olsen Twins and their “Hobo” chic back when they were the fashion icons they were labeled by the media despite lookin’ like Michael Jackson’s love child with a Treasure Troll and here she is taking her cause to another level while jogging and not missin’ a fucking beat from her marriage to leggings and ripped ratty flannel. What a fucking joke.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Hipster|Jog




Ashley Olsen Yells at the Paparazzi of the Day

So Ashley Olsen went to Hermes to buy herself some luxury items. I walked into a Hermes store once, because I was drunk and thought it was called Herpes not Hermes and I needed to see what kind of shit they sell in a store called Herpes.

The sales staff weren’t too into me or my look and indirectly asked me to leave after I asked them how much Herpes go for. Then I saw a line of saddles on the wall and asked them if the saddles come with herpes or if they are made out of herpes. Then there was a line of ties and scarves that were all decorative and shit and I asked if the pattern was representing an outbreak or if the guy who made them had herpes. I was trying really hard to find the common thread in why a store called herpes was selling this expensive shit, was it because herpes is a white collar STD, or maybe one for executives and rich people because rich people don’t use condoms. I couldn’t figure it out….

When I started getting cornered by the staff because they caught onto the fact that I was broke, I tried playing the dot com millionaire angle, saying something like my ratty ass jogging pants are worth more than anything in the store, especially more than their 9 dollars an hour plus monthly bonus if they meet the sales objective salary, but they just had security escort me out while I was screaming shit like “I don’t need herpes anyway, you fucking whores”, it was a great fucking scene and when I found out it was actually called Hermes, I realized those sales people probably had no fucking idea what the hell I was talking about and probably kicked me out because they thought their lives were at risk.

Either way, Ashley Olsen throws a funny scene in this video yelling at the paparazzi shit like, “Get off the property, I am trying to close my gate, Get OFF the Property, I swear to god, GET OFF THE PROPERTY”, she’s so assertive, I guess that’s just the attitude you need to run a multi-million dollar company, by letting business managers and your parents exploit you from the age of 2. If anything, this is the equivalent of a brat begging their dad for a pony, since she’s the reason her dad’s not working at the steel plant anymore, so if he knows what’s good for him, he better deliver the fuckin’ goods because rich girls always get what they want and that’s what makes them crazy…

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Yells




I am – Olsen Twins Riding in the Baggage Compartment of the Day


Jesus is having issues right now, obviously. So you get to suffer through my thoughts/life until his dick/computer is fixed…

I am hauling ass to Brooklyn tonight to bar hop with my friend “Shanna” while she’s in town. Shanna and I made out once in community college, and since you whip it out every time a Girls Gone Wild commercial comes on, here’s how this went down.

We were at a party and our boyfriends ‘dared’ us to kiss like we were 6 and in the sandbox. Now as a hooker, I did one threesome with two guys once, one threesome with me and another hooker once, and was paid to get down and nasty with that same hooker in front of a bunch of suits as some sort of office bonding experience. I don’t get off on sliding around with girls, it’s just a lot of work and I already have the same parts. I also just hated threesomes in general and refused to do either combo again after the first time: two guys is really just homo, two girls gets so competitive.

But back to the story. I agreed to kiss Shanna since she seemed really excited and we had already seen each other naked before, so whatever. But mostly I did it because my ex-boyfriend was there with his new doberman-faced cunt, and all the hype drew a crowd, and he naturally followed. I wanted to make this fucker’s balls turn blue because he dumped my ass for this fat upstate slag that lived in his dorm, so he wouldn’t have to trek a mile to my place in the snow for sex. So I full throttle sexually assaulted Shanna, and we went at it for around 4 minutes, sucking face, grabbing ass, taking off each other’s shirts, cupping each other’s breasts under the bra, giving the audience just a peak, licking, etc.

Afterwards, Shanna and I complimented one another on the suppleness of our tits and lips. Our boyfriends were satisfied. Most importantly, I walked up to the ex and asked if he had enjoyed the show, he kind of stammered and walked away, trying to hide his raging erection. The ex, his hard on, and his bitch left immediately after that. At least I know that when he fucked his slut later, he was thinking about me. I win.

Here is MK and Ashley Olsen at the airport doing what they do best: looking skinny, electrocuted, homeless, and semi see-through. You know the thought of these two getting it on together used to turn you on because the only thing better than girl on girl is twin on twin. But they are doing there best to kill your dreams by looking like they rode in the baggage compartment. Try and masterbate. You can do it. The end.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

Related Posts

I am – Ashley Olsen’s See Through Skirt of the Day

I am – Marie Kate Olsen Kissing Her Boyfriend of the Day

I am – Ashley Olsen’s in Her Panties on Vacation of the Day

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Homeless|Olsen Twins|See Through|Unsorted




I am – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen at Some Chick Named Nora's Birthday of the Day


So my crack internet investigation team that include my 2 stepdaughters, a few ex hookers and a couple of the dudes from the park who are on welfare and drunk or medicated all the time have come across these pictures of Marie Kate and Ashley Olsen partying for some chick named Nora’s birthday. Now I don’t know much about Nora but she is in the L.A. socialite circle of girls who have really rich parents. I am talking girls who’s parents are record execs, studio execs, actors and whatever else they fucking do. They are the socialites that Paris Hilton was a part of before becoming the slut that she is today. They are relatively low key, have lots of money, go to parties and nice restaurants but no one really cares about them because they don’t suck dick on camera and go to all the major events but are still out there.

I was talking to one of them on Facebook a while ago, because she’s trying to be a hipster DJ photographer. Her dad works for a record label and all her friends are models that you would know. She was the biggest fucking cunt I’ve come across because I guess most rich girls are. She is dating the dude in Maroon 5, not the main guy but the guitar or bass player and bitch thinks she’s untouchable and owns the fucking world because of who daddy is. I still made fun of her and made her never want to talk to me again. I wish I remember what I wrote to her but I forgot everything today because I saw 2 redheads making out and it tripped me the fuck out….like I’m talking pure orange haired freaks going at it….at first I thought they were brother and sister then I realized they weren’t…..when his tongues was jammed in her mouth….

Either way, it’s safe to say that these socialite rich girls are just as fucking delusional as Paris just not as famous. Either way, the Olsen Twins were at their party and here are the pictures….

Bonus Mischa Barton’s Pill Popping Rehab Sister

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Coke|Drunk|Olsen Twins|Rich Kids|Unsorted