Carmen Electra defies gravity…space and time…age….and dignity…by being shameless and still willing to get on the beach, all BOTOXED, because I guess she needs to make money, but more importantly, she needs to be made to feel like she’s still pretty, because that validation is all she’s ever known…and the fact is, I kind of like the real housewife, porn looking old lady still holding on vibe…because despite the weathered vagina, the broken soul under the leathery skin, brings me happiness…

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Carmen Electra is old as fuck, and the problem with old as fuck girls with a lot of plastic surgery, who still go out and party like they are fabulous, even though they aren’t, but they have no kids, despite their biological clocks ticking, because they didn’t want that to get in the way of money making…is that they end up looking like trannies…especially when they are all in costume and busting out of their shirts…their botox faces sculpted into a semi smile….but you’d all still fuck her…because she’s Carmen Electra and she was in Baywatch for a season in Y2K…so she matters…at least she thinks she does and that’s good enough…

I just wonder how long she’ll keep up the fun for…..into her 60s or 70s? I mean no one ever wants to be that person doing shots in the VIP room…but sometimes I guess you have to be when it’s all people care to pay you for.

This is what low level looks like.

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Just when you thought Carmen Electra was dead, she books a massive mainstream movie part, in something called Lap Dance…which is appropriate because that is really where her career was supposed live, when it somehow got sidetracked into Playboy, MTV, Other Bullshit, Dennis Rodman, fading into obscurity, before getting cast to be the stripper she was always destined to be, in what a spiritual person would call fate, or destiny…but what I call a distraction from her actually working the stripclub day shift where her fake tit, talentless, 90s slut ass belongs…

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I don’t know who this botox, Kim Kardashian, plastic looking, all people with money look like porn stars thanks to shitty plastic surgery is…No not Carmen Electra, the one behind her with her tits falling out, not the one with the sunglasses, who also looks like all these fake hair, face, tan, lip, subtle delicate women…

I hate this look, I hate this vibe, it’s so fucking trashy and ugly, but I love the fact that her tit is hanging out as the paparazzi capture her Jersey Shore looking self, accidentally, like a deer in the headlights, because she’s behind Carmen Electra, who also looks like a ball of fucking botox, but still relevant enough for the paparazzi to take pics of….

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This is a horrible way to start any day…

It was brought to my attention that Carmen Electra released a music video last week….a video very few people cared about…and that I guess would make a Carmen Electra fan sad…if she still had fans.

I remember a few years ago, she was hosting parties for 1500 dollars at local night clubs, and now she’s trying to become the stage act, because even she knows that EDM or whatever this is, is a joke and a scam that is brainwashing all the idiots…and making people stupid money that they probably get together and laugh about…

I see this more as a staying relevant, mocking herself in one last attempt to get noticed, because she decided to not bow down and have family, but to pursue whatever the fuck this is…

I mean, the good news is that you know she can’t be taking these or herself seriously, otherwise this would be really pathetic and sad…but then again…maybe it is really pathetic and sad…

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Carmen Electra’s recent performance at the Avalon in Hollywood brings up an interesting discussion point….At what point in a woman’s career or Life cycle, does it become pathetic to strip down and put on some ridiculous Cruise Ship Entertainment performance….as if it is anything other than a comedy or novelty act.

I understand that she’s got an amazing body, probably because she needs to have an amazing body, she’s Carmen Electra and that’s all she has going for her…I also understand that she decided to ride into menopause instead of having kids that would destroy her body…I also understand that old girls can come along every once in a while and look great, no matter how many weird things they have inserted in their vaginas…or how well travelled those labias are…

But there is always a tipping point, when the stripper in the stripclub reaches day shift…because night shift is for the young ones…

I am not hating, I just don’t get it. I mean I am sure this will be a great hit in the retirement community she lives in….or for a halloween act…dinner party- pull out granny’s old bag of tricks…but as a serious project, it’s pretty embarrassing…

But I’m sure her 40 year old fans, who have been with her since 1992 are loving every second of this, since she looks a lot better than their wives…

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Carmen Electra posted these pics of her rocking a really hot body in a bikini, despite her botox face, because all she does is workout, since her hotness is all that defines her…and her bank account.

I mean she didn’t even get knocked up in her 30s like all the other girls….you know to have a kid to transfer her narcism to a new generation when she had the chance…now she’s all menopausal, but has all the time in the world to do yoga, pilates and whatever else it takes…

She was too into herself and her career to ever damage her body, since that’s the only thing that has brought her money, like a stripper or hooker I guess she is…

All this to say, her posing with another plastic woman, while being half naked is oddly erotic…but still fucking weird…but I guess weird is the future of porn since…since we’ve seen everything she’s capable of…

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I saw these pictures the other day and they made me laugh for two reasons…

The first was that I couldn’t remember what Carmen Electra’s name was, and I actually had to google her to figure out the MTV Playmate from the 90s who never had a baby and who is now menopausal despite the desperation to stay hot that her botox, rebuilt, scared to get old because her looks are all she ever had face face is screaming…

The second…is how fucking funny her botox, trying to stay young, rebuilt face looks…

I guess bitches don’t know how to age gracefully, even when they know how to squat…

Here are her workout moves to inspire you to never get old…or to kill yourself before you do because even with a toned stomach you look stupid as shit trying to stay hot…

If you don’t like that, then here she is on a date with Joanna Krupa, because low level titty models who have made it stick together CLICK HERE

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Carmen Electra is old as fuck, but thanks to not wrecking her pussy with babies, and choosing to love and nurture herself instead of marrying a rich dude and riding her savings and alimony checks into retirement at 40 like a normal whore who only whores for that reason alone….because at a certain age, it’s time to throw in the stilettos and ass shaping panties and let the new whores have a chance…while bowing out gracefully instead of desperately…she’s still got a good body…and she’s squeezed it into a tight as fuck dress that shows off her nipples in hopes people like me talk about it…because seeing nipples, even on tits that belong to her, but that were purchased instead of spending her 7k on bras…and well this is the kind of bottom feeding behavior I expect from someone like Carmen Electra…a girl you know probably had a real horrible attitude at her prime, before irrelevance and panic set in…

That’s why I like my washed up whores to be broke, desperate, and addicted to drugs. They are way more appreciative when you chose them over their younger counterparts…while this whore clearly doesn’t think she’s old…

All this to say, I’d still ask her to be my Valentine and I’d still send her flowers enough for her to get a restraining order…because look at that fucking body…shit’s good in a dress…when you aren’t dealing directly with her vagina and the with remnants of decades of unprotected sex…that may have done more pussy wrecking than a baby.

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