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Archive for the Christina Aguilera Category

2011

08

Jun

Christina Aguilera Performing in Short Leather Shorts of the Day

Christina Aguilera was on The Voice performing with her co-stars, I think….but can’t be too sure cuz I’ve never seen the show….but when I heard she was singing We Are the Champions that it was in reference to the all you can eat buffet, or maybe as a ritual chant after finishing off some cake, but I guess it doesn’t really matter, what matters is she squeezed her fat ass in a pair of small shorts in some clearly ill advised by a stylist with a sense of humor who plays on the fact that Aguilera thinks she’s still got it…

Either way, it was a cheesy fucking embarrassing, holding on to what we once had kinda thing and now you can watch it over and over again until Youtube pulls it. Lucky you.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2011

27

May

Some Christina Aguilera Fatness of the Day

This just in, Christina Aguilera is still fat, and more importantly, she’s added “Looking like fucking shit” to her profile about information….in the facebook profile that is her life….

You liked that internet tie in didn’t you? That’s why you’re a fucking virgin with no friends. Sort it out fucker.

Well I don’t like what has become of a young tight body I wanted to fuck, in a lot of ways this is a fucking tragedy, in a lot of other ways, who the fuck care, we’ve moved on to jerking off to new celeb pussy…in the circle of washed up celeb pussy life….

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2011

17

May

Christina Aguilera Fat of the Day

Today is about fat chicks. Partially because I have a fat wife and I want to punish you with pussy you once wanted to fuck and still will fuck but with a totally different outlook on fucking, cuz now she’s a doughy fucking mess but also because I saw a group of morbid obese chicks in the park doing some fat chick exercise class and it was hysterical, all the panting and hard breating just from trying to get up off the ground, made for entertainment a circus in the 30s would have paid big fucking money for, but instead that I have to politely gawk at cuz society’s gone all nice and PC and pointing and laughing is a thing of the past…Sucks.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2011

05

May

Christina Aguilera is Still Fat of the Day

This just in, Christina Aguilera is still fat. More importantly she’s not doing anything about it and she’s not trying to hide it. She’s not doing the Kim Kardashian smoke and mirrors, where she wears heels and straps to reposition the fat to look less fat, and that’s what I call serious fucking laziness…too lazy to even cover up her fatness from laziness…and all this laziness is making me want to nap.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2011

02

May

Jennifer Hudson is Less Fat than Christina Aguilera of the Day

Sucks to be Christina Aguliera….

I mean sure she looks like shit and has been laughed at for being a dumpy pig the last year or more, and sure she’s a mom and moms have a right to be fatter than chicks with unused wombs, but no matter any way you look at it, it always sucks when a fat chick who is known for being fat is skinnier than you, even if that fat chick spent the last year on a treadmill, eating salad, and getting her stomach stapled, shit doesn’t matter, cuz in everyone’s mind, the newly skinny fat chick is still fat, including in the mind of the newly fat chick, making the whole thing a depressing, sloppy mess that I wish involved a pool full of pudding to see who eats their way out of it fastest while wrestling each other to the death, Hudson’s got muscles and drive, while Aguilera’s got girth and size….both probably unable to focus on the match at hand, cuz both would be too busy stuffing their fat chick faces….cuz fat chicks are all the same when it comes to food….They love to eat it…whether they puke it up or accpept their fat chick fate or not….if you know what I mean.

Mary J Blige Brought her tits to the event, they weren’t really worthy of a post of their own, but figure that as unsexy as they may be, they are better than comparing fat chicks and their fatness…..cuz fat chicks are for late drunk nights when in need of a blowjob.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Jennifer Hudson

2011

28

Apr

Christina Aguilera’s a Bloated Pig of the Day

I understand that Jean Leggings are in style.

I even like that they are. I mean shit who needs real jeans when you can have spandex jeans that fit your hot ass like a fucking condom, unless of course you are Christina Aguilera, or really anyone looking at her, who you would rather see in clothes that fit like a condom fits me, nice and baggy thanks to non existant genitals…

I understand that Jean Leggings are comfortable, you know for a bitch who had too much to eat at dinner, the elastic is forgiving or some shit, and no one likes the circulation being cut off on her size 0 jeans…..but when you’v ehad too much to eat in general, over the last few years, ending up like this pig, it’s probably a better choice for your elastic waist band pants to be the fat chick kid, that don’t hug every other part of you….you know the shit you see grannies wear down at Wal Mart.

Overall, this is both disgusting and disappointing, cuz there was a time I actually liked her tight little body and big fake tits, that time was before the rest of her caught up with her tits….Not that I wouldn’t still use her like a bouncy castle….I just wouldn’t be as excited about the whole thing….not that that’s even an issue as me and X-Tina don’t really know each other…so we can move away from focusing on things that will never happen, and instead put our energy to thigns that have happened, and that’s that she’s fucking huge. Good times…except for the dude who has to see her naked. Cuz no one likes a fat chick……

On a sidenote, you can kinda see her bra.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2011

26

Apr

Christina Aguilera Seduces Ellen Cuz She Wants To Feel Desired of the Day

Christina Aguilera wore what could be a night gown, or maybe it’s a bed sheet that just looks like a night gown cuz she’s so fat, to the Ellen Show.

There’s a few reason for this, and the main one is that Fat girls like dressing slutty and like showing off tit to get noticed, especially for lesbians, cuz lesbians are the perfect balance of perverted and accepting, cuz they don’t objectify women like men do, they are the place ugly goes to get laid, when men are too asshole to go down that pussy….

Sure Lesbians are the fucking devil when it comes to guys like me, they want to gather and burn me like the KKK burned black in the south, ripping my pathetic penis off and laughing at it collectively, but when it comes to things with vaginas, they are very fucking forgiving….

Not that it matters….

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2011

21

Apr

Christina Aguilera’s Fat Tits of the Day

When you’re fat, you’ve got limited choices when it comes to sexing yourself up, and if you’re the lucky kind of fat, you’ve got tits.

Cuz there are fat chicks with not tits, and that’s just awkward to look at, while fat girls always have something dudes can focus on, cuz there are always dudes easily won over with tits…no matter how fat the bitch is…cuz dudes are pathetic…myself included….especially when drunk…cuz pussy is unfortunately pussy…even if it depresses me in the process…

Thank god you can’t see up her skirt….even though I’d like to evaluate the damage…and wish I could see up her skirt…cuz today’s been pretty dull

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Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2011

01

Apr

Some Christina Aguilera is a Fat Chick in Leggings of the Day

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I don’t understand a lot about fat chicks and I’m married to a fat chick…not that that would make me understand the breed any better…it’s just that I always see these fat chicks in leggings….when you’d think legggins is the one thing, along with naked, fat chicks should avoid….I don’t know if they think it is slimming, even it it just emphaises all that is wrong with their bodies or if it is easier for them to stomach a stretched out XL than a pair of pants with an actual button and zipper that are less forgiving…or if the bitches feel like if they dress fit people will perceive them as fit….but I do know that I don’t have the power to stop them, so I might as well join them….and embrace this shit…even if I can’t get my arms around the shit….and know I’ll never fully accept..but luckily fat chicks are virtually invisible to me…and hardly ever pop up on my radar…except when I’m face to face with them and my “Fight or Flight” response kicks in….FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2011

06

Feb

Christina Aguilera’s Super Shitty Superbowl Performance of the Day

I’m not American and apparently either is Christina Aguilera, cuz otherwise she’d know the words….

I can assume has been too busy eating her weight in food to take the 10 minutes it takes to memorize a song you normally have ingrained in your every inch cuz you’re American…this is shit you learn at a young age so you remember how proud you are…that is when your youth isn’t robbed of you for the personal gain of your mother who figures it’s easier to whore your kid out than to whore yourself out….

This is probably old news by now, since every American is watching the superbowl and probably very offened this first generation would piss on a nation on its proudest day, on its proudest Texan soil…she might as well shoulda come our dressed like an arab with a burning flag.

Let’s hope this ruins her…get her blacklisted and forces her to move to Canada cuz her voice is irritating….

Christina Aguilera botched the national anthem something fierce before the Super Bowl. Aguilera started out all right, but she had a problem with the ramparts — specifically, the “O’er the ramparts we watched” line, which she left out altogether. ..

Aguilera tried to make up for it by combining two lines — “What so proudly we watched,” instead of “What so proudly we hailed”, but let’s just say that it was too late to reverse the error. Twitter blew up, and all Aguilera could do was to oversing every word from there on out, which she most certainly did.

Here is Will.I.Am ripping off Daft Punk’s Show from 4 years ago, cuz Will.I.Am is about as creative as Ripping off a bunch of Electro DJs gets…#fullofshit

Everyone cares that Eminem did this Ad for Detroit….cuz he’s the only idiot rich enough to leave Detroit who stays in Detroit….

Because he did another commercial saying he doesn’t do commercial…

And Kim Kardashian – Despite being Fat – Promotes Heath Products – in Spandex

Posted in:Christina Aguilera