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Archive for the Eva Longoria Category

2011

03

May

Eva Longoria Showing off Her Legs of the Day

Eva Longoria just finished her period, or she is pregnant, cuz no bitch in her right mind would wear so little white, so close to her twat if she know she may start bleeding at any given time…and for some reason I’m really digging it and that makes me want to kill myself, cuz ever since my Mexican whore mother died of Aids in the 80s, I vowed to never fuck with a Mexican…but this one is all Hollywood and not fat and a mom to 14…..it’s fucking with the natural way of Mexicans and I’m down…come to papi..

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2011

05

Apr

Eva Longoria’s Slutty Pant Suit of the Day

Here’s Eva Longoria is a modern take on the old lesbian, power suit, you know the ones you’d see bitches trying to be taken serious in the corporate world as to not allow the men they work with to be distracted by any sex appeal they may have, by covering every ince of it up….only modified to throw all that out the window and tell the world that she’s still got it….Hilary Clinton – Take notes…

I give young girls way too much attention on the site and in life without remembering that older sluts were once young and deserve some love too. The reality is that they are easier to deal with. They have more sexual experience and for the most part want as little to do with you as you want to do with them and understand the concept of fucking for the sake of fucking and not for the sake of locking yourself down into some kind of annoying bullshit playing house relationship.

They are the kind of people who don’t tell people that they are “seeing you” just because they are fucking you and it makes them feel like less of a whore when they put a title to it. They’ve been though it and don’t need to go down that route again. They know the lie they lived, now they just want you to make them cum while making them feel young again…

You know, making up for lost time….

The only time old ladies are a problem is when they are winding down and ready to have babies and that is why you need to do everything in your power to make them know you aren’t husband material. Don’t let them know you have a job or money because that shit means stability and takes away from the fact that you just want to cum all over their big old lady vaginas.

I don’t know what Eva Longoria is doing these days, I know she’s a divorcee, a middle aged lady dressed in a modern pantsuit to remind you all she still knows how to fuck and she takes it pretty seriously…

PS – I like the dude she clearly paid to show up with her one “Hot Photoshoot Pic” to get signed…as if that person actually exists…

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2011

25

Mar

Eva Longoria is an Idiot of the Day

It amazes me how stupid a bitch can be. Like she must have been real smitten with her ex husband Tony Parker’s cock. That motherfucker must have owned her meaty Mexi pussy. Cuz to get a wrist tattoo to profess your love, before being cheated on, or realizing you actually hate the motherfucker when you have to spend more than 5 minutes not fucking the motherfucker, is fucking hilarious…

It’s almost unstable and creepy, like bitch decides “I’m so in love, I’ll throw all logic out the window, cuz I’m a chick and I have no logic, strictly emotions, and I happen to be about to get my period, making me way more insane than before, so I won’t think about this tattoo idea for more than a minute, and I’ll blazen the shit on me in a visible place, not even on my pussy where only people I fuck get to see my failures when the whole thing goes to shit, but on my fucking wrist for the world to see cuz I’m insane and this wrist tattoo will show him I’m not obsessive, creepy and weird at all….kinda thing.

Now she’s rockin’ some tattoo removal tatto on her wrist…scars to represent one of the dumber moments in her life…I mean other than getting into a failed marriage in the first place… FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2010

17

Aug

Eva Longoria’s Shitty Little Kid Tits of the Day

I know 12 year olds at the local pool who have better tits than this. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t check out 12 year olds on a sexual level, I just have eyes and they have bikinis on. I also don’t hate small tits, I just don’t like when they look pubescent, like the little bee stings I didn’t find hot back when I was in elementary school, and that I don’t find hot now, especially on a grown woman….

Seriously, I don’t know if I am getting my point across properly. I love small tits. I have cum on flat chested girls, a-cup girls, b-cup girls, E-cup girls, and I’ve got no issue with small tits, there’s just something weird going on here as the shit is jacked up on her chest, whether from the bra or the shirt or just shitty tits…but I figure I had no choice but to post this weirdness…esepecially since it’s on a bitch who should be stripping or cleaning hotel rooms and not a Hollywood star making Mexicans look bad…or at least look awkward cuz these tits aren’t right…they are fucking strange.

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2010

16

Aug

Eva Longoria Lovin Big Black Cock of the Day

Eva Longoria likes black cock because she’s got a big vagina…it is big because she had to use it so that her little immigrant Mexican ass didn’t end up cleaning hotel rooms, but instead ended up staying in hotel rooms, and all the abuse she put it through left her numb enough that the only thing she can feel is something the size of a baby’s arm….or maybe I am wrong, and she is just like every other bitch I know who is looking to get off and not for a support system, who isn’t racist but who views black dudes sexual animals who’s sole purpose is to fuck the shit out of them properly….that feels so wrong and so right all at the same time…you know, it is the resason Black on Blonde born was invented….that shit isn’t for white dudes, it’s for dirty pig women with fantasies…that Eva Longoria is living out cuz she married the motherfucker to have his dick on call…

Here are her legs…watching a basketball game…something I am sure she finds to be a very erotic experience….and that’s probably why she keeps crossing and un-crossing her legs…you now cuz she doesn’t want the wetness to cause a rash….

Either way, here is some tainted meat for you idiots who used to think she was the hottest fucking thing.

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2010

28

Apr

Eva Longoria Should be Deported of the Day

Dirty Mexican trash Eva Longoria should be fucking deported even though she was born in America strictly based on the fact that she tried her hardest to be white and live the American dream, you know getting on TV and shit, but genetics couldn’t trick her dress size as she now looks like a dumpy piece of Mexican trash you’d expect to find cookin’ in a Hollywood home for a rich family, which brings up the real proof as to how white she tries is, because no real Mexican would hire a Mexican to do their dirty work, but I have a feeling Eva Longoria would in her quest to be white….

She can pose with our troops like she was George Bush trying to trick people forget that he is killing thousands of people in a war by saying shit like “support our troops”…but that doesn’t make her any less busted, interesting, or white American….and here are the pics…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Fat

2010

16

Mar

Eva Longoria and her Gang of Rejects of the Day

Eva Longoria turned 35, which explains why she has zero fucking sex appeal, as shit died then she turned 30. It’s not really her fault, it takes a specific strong gene to carry a girl I want to fuck into her 40s, for the most part, especially when they are Mexican even if they pretend they aren’t Mexican and actually offend all Mexicans but are destined for short, fat, breeding, the boners fade at 30. So this picture might as well be the fucking Golden Girls on their way to a lawn bowling competition, or at the beach smothering sun tan lotion on their loose fitting skin, cuz nothing says washed the fuck up like Kim Kardashian, Robin Antin and other old, boring pussy the bitch from Desperate Housewives has managed to get to latch onto her useless celebrity status….celebrating her 35th birthday.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Birthday|Eva Longoria|Kim Kardashian|Robin Antin

2010

02

Mar

Eva Longoria is Bent Over in a Little Skirt of the Day

I don’t know how long this Desperate Housewives shit is going to go on for, but I do know that the ladies are starting to age in a pretty major way and that they should consider changing the name to Desperate Retirees.

Lookin at these pictures of Eva Longoria, I can tell they had to strap this Mexican trying so hard to be white ditch pig up so tight that her ravaged married and sloppy ass still had the youthful perk. I’m talking the industrial sized SPANX to shape her in a way that wouldn’t make the average man forced to watch this shit because he is poor and only has one TV or is totally fucking owned by his wife and who does what she tells him because he traded in his balls for the married life years earlier, think to himself “she she really is a desperate housewife and now the one thing that was decent about this show and that allowed me to put up with watching the show has turned to shit like their tired fucking storyline”….. and here are the pics.

Pics via Fame
Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Skirt

2009

23

Nov

Eva Longoria Showin’ Off Her Gut of the Day

I am guessing that Eva Longoria is either pregnant, or that she’s been eating a few too much Mexican food in her marriage, since she’s found what she’s lookin for and doesn’t have to starve herself anymore, you know, now she can finally like her Mexican genetics step the fuck in and turn her into a round-ball of a woman that all other Mexicans tend to grow into when they hit a certain age, usually after they’ve reproduced a few dozen times. I guess she figures since her husband is black, the fatter she is the better, but she’s forgetting one key thing and that that logic only works for white girls and not Mexican girls pretending to be white. Either way, she’s not wearing pants and a pants off party is a party for me…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Chubby|Eva Longoria|Pantsless|Sloppy

2009

01

Oct

Eva Longoria Shows Some Nipple in Some Magazine of the Day

Here is gutter slut Eva Longoria in some possibly sexy photoshoot depending on who you ask in a magazine called Citizen K, which looks like it could be Russian, but I’m not really that solid on identifying foreign languages so it really could be English for all I fucking know, since I never learned how to read.

What I do know is that Eva Longoria’s got a massive vagina, not because she is Mexican and every Mexican I know is designed to birth babies without realizing it, with pussies you can wear as a Nacho Libre mask, but because she’s married to a abnormally tall black man who probably makes the sex tape with her 5 foot frame comical, like a fucking circus performance.

Either way, the Russians or English behind this photoshoot released a pic of her nipple peakin out, I’m pretty sure her reps would put an end to this if they could, but when you fuck with Russia or England, they play by their own rules…

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Nipple

2009

21

Sep

Eva Longoria and her Perky Mexican Tits of the Day

I said some pretty cruel things about how Eva Longoria was just some Mexican immigrant who worked at the right hotel as a chambermaid, and as a Mexican I should have had more pride about her success. I should celebrate it and let the world know that we Mexicans are not just lazy motherfuckers and we can slowly take over the world with people like America Ferrara, George Lopez and Jessica Alba and Longoria, but I don’t really connect with being Mexican and I figure either does Longoria, so I’ll just spew the same stereotypes everyone else is, because I’m just trying to fit in with the white man and because Eva Longoria hasn’t done shit for me.

Here are her perky tits…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Perky TIts

2009

17

Sep

Eva Longoria Sill Boring as Shit of the Day

Wow, I can’t believe people were going crazy over this bitch. She’s nothing more but a Mexican chamber maid who slept with the right hotel guest, a Mexican cleaning lady who had the right client that she would fuck when the wife was out, a Mexican nanny who babysat for the right family who she would fuck when everyone was in bed, you know trash who used her pussy to get ahead and I hope people are starting to realize it….especially when seeing her in these boring fucking pictures…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Boring|Eva Longoria

2009

23

Jul

Eva Longoria’s is American of the Day

We get it Eva, you’re insecure about being a Mexican because other Americans look down on your border jumpin’ strategy to get into the country, where you are forced to work illegally, hoping to never get caught and deported, but that doesn’t mean you have to overcompensate and dress like the fuckin’ flag. It’s like that time I overcompensated for being a mexican immigrant by trying to get a job and showing the world we’re not lazy, before realizing that was a stupid idea, so I got fired and was forced to live off my wife.

Posted in:American|Eva Longoria

2009

05

Jun

Eva Longoria in some Bikini Bullshit Part 2 of the Day

I feel like I’ve already done this post, mainly because I have. I just figured you’d want to see the rest of the pictures of Eva Longoria in her bikini, because you haven’t missed an episode of desperate housewives since shit started, either because you’re a pussy and your wife makes you do it, or because you have a pussy or wish you had a pussy and you’re just trying to relate to what pussy finds relevant and entertaining, or cuz you like lookin at this dirty Mexican’s hot little body.

Posted in:Bikini|Eva Longoria

2009

04

Jun

Eva Longoria on Vacation With Her Husband of the Day

I am like my black friend who I used to go to the stripclub with who would look at the black strippers with anger and disgrace. He’d be so ashamed that they would lower themselves to dance on stage for the likes of me that as they’d walk onto stage he’d shake his head is disapproval and turn his back to them. If they came to lure him into a lap dance, he’d throw their arms off him and ask them why the fuck they had to lower themselves to this shit, to being a common fucking whore, and he’d fuckin’ lecture them, and they’d take it until they started crying and would run backstage, only to get us kicked out.

A Mexican American woman is supposed to be making fucking babies, working as a cleaning lady on the side to help her husband barely make fucking rent in the Mexican ghetto they live in. They are not supposed to be parading around yachts, in bikinis, like a common fucking whore for their basketball playing black husbands. She’s a rebeling against her calling and I guess that’s why her ass looks like she’s already had 8 kids.

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Vacation

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