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Archive for the Heidi Montag Category

2018

29

Jan

Heidi Montag Breast Feeding of the Day

Heidi Montag Breast Feeding her new son Gunner

Heidi Montag may no longer be relevant, her show has been off the air for a long time, she’s likely burned through most of her money, either on plastic surgery or crystals she was apparently addicted to, but she’s still Heidi Montag…

A personality from a moment in our pop culture history, and along with her and her husband Spencer, they have reproduced, hoping that maybe they have a second chance at this celebrity life, while making fun of their celebrity life….but more importantly, by posting up a titty breast feeding pic for femininity, empowerment and the perverts who like seeing monster fake tits get sucked on, like the milk ducts still work, even if they don’t cuz she went too damn big…

I remember always loving the whole breast feeding in public thing, and always was confused when people started protesting for the right to breast feed in public, as i’ve seen it in malls, starbucks, mcdonalds, the street, sometimes more than one place in one day, cuz women apparently like to reproduce, and whenever I see it, I get JAZZED, cuz it means I’l see some TITTY…

I don’t leave the house much, but just the other day I saw a busty hot young mom getting her titty sucked in the back seat of the car and I made eye contact and nodded in a HELL yeah kind of way…because HELL YEAH…

ANd here’s Heidi Montag, speaking to that!

Posted in:Heidi Montag|SFW

2013

08

Nov

Heidi Montag’s Breast Reduction Tits Still Suck of the DAy

There’s always a level of funny when someone who thought they were so important, like Heidi Montag, who would do insane things like get ridiculous amounts of surgery to look like a Barbie Doll, is forgotten for a few years and decides the only storyline people will notice is if it involves downsizing her broken, sad, failure tits to a smaller implant size, because maybe, just maybe, some asshole with a site will find it absurd, pathetic and funny enough to post the “after” photoshoot…like her tits, or her fucking matter…so she was on a massive reality show, like all reality shows, bitch is forgotten…as she pushes 35…and remains a talentless hack…with an overbearing weirdo husband…who she is only with because she’s still living in the fantasy bubble of her shitty fucking 4 minute long career…fuck this bitch…literally..with my mouth…I would totally try to home wreck just for the sake of telling people I fucked Heidi Montag…10 years after she died…

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Posted in:Heidi Montag|SFW

2012

30

Nov

Heidi Montag is Still Staging Bikini Pics of the Day

Heidi Montag has climbed out of rock bottom….a place where no one gives a fuck about her….and has managed to get the attention of one photographer or photo agency willing to notice her in a bikini and put out the pics of her like she still matters…a move that will in fact make her hit even deeper rock bottom when she realizes that no one fucking does….so the life lesson is if a reality star who sold her soul and identity to the devil falls off the radar after the show was cancelled and she lost her mind….hits the beach in the bikini for a paparazzi she hired cuz they don’t want to waste resources taking pics of her….does she make a fucking sound….I don’t have the answer..but whatever it is sounds like fucking drowning….next stop…porn!


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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2012

16

Nov

Heidi Montag is Still in Staged Bikini Pics for the Paparazzi of the Day

If you’re wondering what Heidi Montag has been up to …. and I know you haven’t been….because she barely exists in the grand scheme of things…but she’s trying…trying so fucking hard…just to get people to pay even just a little attention to her….even though her celebrity has run its course…but if you’re the one weirdo who cares…she’s been staging bikini pics for the paparazzi in hopes that sites write about her….and I’m a sucker for bikini pics…so here they are to start the miserable day.


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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2012

08

Nov

Heidi Montag in a Bikini of the Day

You know I’ve been feeling a little down and out lately…you know a little empty as a person…like a shell of a man…and not because I have no emotions or soul…but because I haven’t had a low level, bottom feeding, MTV star from 4 years ago….cry for attention in a staged bikini shoot that she paid the paparazzi to take of her for publicity….in far too fucking long….

Now don’t get me wrong, I hate the existence of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt as much as the next guy…but for a few years of running this site…there were daily annoying updates from them…that usually included her skinny, big fake titty body in a bikini….and when they fell off…I guess part of me fell off too….it’s just that I’m too old to bother learning about the new bottom feeders…that when bottom feeders form the past feel like home…

Maybe I am just getting nostalgic and shit…cuz American Thanksgiving is only 2 weeks away….or maybe I’m just happy to post a good old fashion staged bikini shoot from someone who fucking needs it more than anyone….

Today is a good day to be alive…except maybe for Heidi Montag….


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Posted in:Heidi Montag

2012

04

Oct

Heidi Montag is a Stripper of the Day


Heidi Montag is doing what she is meant to be doing…or at least dabbling with what she is meant to dabble in….as a bitch who bought herself G-Cup tits with a face of a ragged retired pornstar…there was really only one direction for her career to take…and that was to the pole…..

I figured there woulda been more college party hosting, and maybe other events that pay her to appear…but she fell off fast…

Now, Crazy Horse is paying her 25,000 dollars to appear, which is more than she deserves, I woulda expected her to get 50 bucks and the door….or some shit..but I guess she’s still high enough profile…but the only issue is she’s not getting naked….but she will…give it time…she’s not even 30 yet…but already rock bottom…so much to come like overdose and porn….and I’m pretty ready for it.

Posted in:Heidi Montag

2011

19

Sep

Heidi Montag’s Useless 25th Birthday of the Day

If a useless cunt no one remembers has a 25th birthday, does it make a sound?

25 or not, bitch might as well be dead.

She doesn’t matter.

Here’s her botched plastic surgery.

Posted in:Heidi Montag