Jessica Simpson Archives - Page 14 of 15 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

25

Oct

I am – Slutty Celebrities at the Fredrick’s of Hollywood’s Fashion Show of the Day

I love girls who love lingerie and it seems like all girls I ever met have huge collections of it, other than drug addicts with no money and who sell or soil their 2 pairs of underwear that they wash in public bathrooms to stay fresh but beyond the addiction love lingerie. Girls tend to have more panty drawers in their dresser than they have dude’s who want to fuck them in their phone and I am all for watching them try on every single piece they own. The shit makes them feel sexy and glamorous and makes me feel like the creep that I am, because I’m watching from the tree in their backyard with a set of binoculars, but I can still make out what’s going down and I am all for that, at least when they are rockin’ it for me and not for some other homeboy.

Jessica Simpson was there lookin hot….because she’s a Christian girl gone bad….and I love those.

Vanessa Hudgens was there researching what to wear next in her sleazy self-shot pictures with Zac Efron who was there pretending he likes women in lingerie when he’s more into wearing it himself cuz he’s gay.

Joanna Krupa was there…..because she actually gets paid to wear lingerie because she is hot….

Dita Von Teese was there….even though no one wants to see her in lingerie…but she is strips down into lingerie every chance she gets….

Kristen Bell was there but I still don’t know who she is….

Amanda Bynes was there showing off her legs

Related Posts:

Joanna Krupa’s Lingerie Calendar
Vanessa Hudgens Self Shot Amateur Pictures
Dita Von Teese Strip Show Picture

2007

25

Oct

I am – Slutty Celebrities at the Fredrick's of Hollywood's Fashion Show of the Day

No Comments »

I love girls who love lingerie and it seems like all girls I ever met have huge collections of it, other than drug addicts with no money and who sell or soil their 2 pairs of underwear that they wash in public bathrooms to stay fresh but beyond the addiction love lingerie. Girls tend to have more panty drawers in their dresser than they have dude’s who want to fuck them in their phone and I am all for watching them try on every single piece they own. The shit makes them feel sexy and glamorous and makes me feel like the creep that I am, because I’m watching from the tree in their backyard with a set of binoculars, but I can still make out what’s going down and I am all for that, at least when they are rockin’ it for me and not for some other homeboy.

Jessica Simpson was there lookin hot….because she’s a Christian girl gone bad….and I love those.

Vanessa Hudgens was there researching what to wear next in her sleazy self-shot pictures with Zac Efron who was there pretending he likes women in lingerie when he’s more into wearing it himself cuz he’s gay.

Joanna Krupa was there…..because she actually gets paid to wear lingerie because she is hot….

Dita Von Teese was there….even though no one wants to see her in lingerie…but she is strips down into lingerie every chance she gets….

Kristen Bell was there but I still don’t know who she is….

Amanda Bynes was there showing off her legs

Related Posts:

Joanna Krupa’s Lingerie Calendar
Vanessa Hudgens Self Shot Amateur Pictures
Dita Von Teese Strip Show Picture

2007

16

Oct

I am – Jessica Simpson Loves Her Dog and I Love Her Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

I used to hang out at the Airport hoping to find girls who were coming into town for the weekend. I figured it would be the best way to beat all the other locals to their vaginas because you know a group of girls in town for a weekend is going to end up with all of them having sex with at least one person each and being there to greet them was key to my success because I never had much game. I’d see them walking out and I’d run up to them pretending they were a long lost friend who I was there to meet and who I hadn’t seen in a long time. They were always pretty receptive until I’d ask them to get into my van.

In those days girls at airports were never this put together. They would be in workout gear or sweatpants and look tired and unshowered. You know practically in their pajamas, but not the good kind of pajamas, so it’s nice seeing Jessica Simpson lookin’ good at the airport. It’s also nice to see her carrying her dog around like he’s her best friend, because he probably is the only person she lets eat her used tampons or lick her dirty underwear. Dogs have it made and celebrity dogs really have it made, I always wanted to live the life of a dog and I pretty much do. I sit in the house all day and enjoy shitting on sidewalks.

Here are those pics,

Related Posts:

Some Jessica Simpson’s Got some Crazy Cleavage
Jessica Simpson’s Got a Floppy Fuckin’ Tit
Lots of Jessica Simpson, Her Tits and Her Dog Pictures
Some Old Jessica Simpson Built Like a Tank Pictures

2007

25

Sep

I am – Ashlee and Jessica Simpson Hang Out Together of the Day

1 Comment »

Nothing says I love my sister like shoving my tongue down her throat while drunk at her birthday party, unfortunately the Simpson sisters are good little bible thumpers and despite lesbian incest being common in small towns along the bible belt, it’s still frowned upon when you have more options of people to have babies with. It’s like the fallback plan in a community of 15 to keep the community alive, you know a matter of survival, but it’s much better for the health of the community if someone lures in new blood.

That said, I made a new friend last night. He was walking on the streets at 2 in the morning completely lots. He was in his 50s and he was wearing dirty mix matched clothes, so I figured we’d get along since we have the same stylist. He had his bus pass on a rope around his neck and he didn’t know where the bus stop was. He also didn’t know where he was going and I could tell that through his thick glasses, he was scared. So I decided to help, because I am a hero and I was alone and didn’t mind the company. The dude definitely had some kind of retardation going on. I am not sure if he was just insane, or if he was a full fledged waterhead, or if he was just socially awkward, so I did what every hero does. I got him drunk.

We walked in some local watering hole, and we just drank, off his retard monthly check the government gives him. The conversation wasnt’ too good and every 3 minutes he’d get up to go to the bathroom. I constantly caught him confused and drooling and I was starting to realize that maybe booze didn’t mix well with his meds. He ended up vanishing on me. He got up threw his glass on the ground, broke his chair and stormed off stuttering, jittering and convulsing. I think he was having an episode. I wonder if he got home safely…

Either way, here are some boring pics of the Simpson sisters together, probably congregating to get their stories straight on how Papa Joe molested Jessica and not Ashlee, because she’s the ugly sister who wasn’t good enough for her daddy to get a piece of. I like seeing them together to remind us all that Ashlee is the ugly one, and probably feels a lot like the retard I was with last night, you know low self esteem, never fitting in, always being laughed at, trying so hard to be normal or up to par, but always falling short because asshole can’t find his bus home, even with his bus pass around his neck on a rope like he was 5 years old.

Related Posts:

Jessica Simpson Joggin on Set Lookin’ Fit
Jessica Simpson’s Hard Nipples
Ashlee Simpson Kissing Her BiSexual Boyfriend
Jessica Simpson Playing a Drunk on Set

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Jessica Simpson|Sisters|Skinny|Unsorted

2007

21

Sep

I am – Jessica Simpson on Set of Some Movie in Shorts of the Day

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I always get hate mail for people for being a mean spirited asshole. I always tell those people that I rip into myself a lot harder than I rip into any celebrity and I am really only doing it for the sake of doing it. I don’t actually care if Jessica Simpson is an idiot or if she was fat but is now too skinny, I would take the bitch as is, no questions asked. I think what it comes down to is that I am just making fun of the media that makes fun of her and seriously reports her weight changes and her relationship status. Who gives a fuck about those things, I just want to see her tits. So here she is lookin’ fit as hell on the set of her movie. I assume she had a jogging scene because she’s in jogging gear and it’s too bad she’s rockin’ a sports bra, because sports bra’s ruin tits.

I remember I used to bang this really busty girl and she’d always be ashamed of having such big tits, so she’d wear a normal bra and 2 sports bras over it in hopes of squeezing the fuckers in. She didn’t like people knowing that she was packing that kind of heat and she wasn’t a fat chick so shit was way out of proportion. I remember that every time I would come over I would fight with her to take the stupid sports bra off because let’s face it, her tits were the only reason I was hanging out with her and as soon as she got drunk enough, she’d let me. Getting to her nipples was like getting to the center of a tootsie pop shit took forever, and there were so many layers. I felt like a prospector lookin’ for gold, but once I got through those fucking sports bras and into that special place where her titties lived, I had so much tit I didn’t know what to do with myself other than cum.

Here are those Jessica Simspon on set pics:

Related Posts:

Jessica Simspon’s Acting Drunk on Set Pictures
Jessica Simpson Showing Off Her Legs
Some Jessica Simpson’s Got Hard Nipples Pictures
Jessica Simpson’s Tit Busting Out of Her Dress

2007

20

Sep

I am – Jessica Simpson Playing a Drunk of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jessica Simpson pretending to be Britney Spears, only instead of being in her soiled underwear she in a dress and instead of drinking rubbing alcohol out of the plastic bottle, she’s drinking champagne, but since she’s a good Christian girl the bottle empty and she’s just acting drunk….maybe she should stick to singing…

I remember getting with a crazy repressed Christian chick. Everytime we’d fuck, she’d cry because of her guilt but while we were fucking bitch was insane, she’d be grabbing my cock like no one has ever grabbed it and bitch even made me cum from a handjob like I was 14. I don’t know it was like Jesus possessed her into being extremely fucking bad, but as soon as she was done crying off the shame she’d get up and be a model Christian citizen who told people she was waiting til she was married to give it up, who went to church groups and to the church with her family and I was just this dirty fucking secret. She is the first girl who begged me to finish in her ass everytime we were together and the show stopper was the day she came over with a virgin mary statue and fucked herself with it while making me watch, that lead to crucifixes, jesus statues and some ceremonial candles she stole from her church. The whole thing was a total mind fuck, but I wasn’t complaining, I didn’t care that she had all these fucking issues, because she was good fucking times….even though they were weird times.

All this to say that behind every christian girl is a crazy sexual deviant who’s been repressed all their lives and is ready to fucking explode….and here are those pics.

Related Posts:

Jessica Simpson’s Legs in Shorts Pictures
Jessica Simpson’s Hard Nipples Pictures
Jessica Simpson’s Cleavage Pictures
Jessica Simpson is Rock Solid Pictures

Posted in:Champagne|cleavage|Drunk|Jessica Simpson|Unsorted

2007

17

Sep

I am – Jessica Simpson’s Got Some Ripped Muscular Legs of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of a new Jessica Simpson with her ripped legs. The funny thing about being famous is that when bitch was 15 pounds fatter we all ripped into her for being a fat bitch who needed to lay off the ice cream sandwiches in John Mayer’s dressing room. Now bitch has committed to herself to working out, lost all the fat and has legs that remind me of a wrestler and the easy thing to do would be to dis her, but I won’t because I’d take a strong chick over a fat chick any fucking day, and if I could get my wife to fit into a pair of small shorts instead of the XXL sweats she currently rocks, my penis would be in a happier fucking place.

I used to go to a strip club that always had muscle chicks on staff. They looked nothing like a Jessica Simspon, because these bitches were the real deal. I am talking 30 inch thighs, huge biceps and the broadest fucking backs. I never understood why they were there, I think the manager was into that kind of thing or something, or maybe they couldn’t hold down a real job because they were too busy doing push-ups or some shit. Everytime they’d try to sell me a lap dance, I’d ask them how much it would cost to arm wrestle them instead. Unfortunately, these bitches didn’t think like dudes because otherwise they’d laugh and have a go, but they just looked liked dudes and thought the same way the other hotter strippers thought, like that they were some kind of goddess or fantasy who deserved my money for showing me her pectorals and clit the size of a grown man’s thumb…I never went through with it because I was scared, but I am sure they were really nice people.

Either way, here’s the Jessica Simpson in shorts rockin’ some solid legs I would still like to wear as a scarf.

Related Posts:

Jessica Simpson’s Hard Nipples Pictures
Some Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pictures
Some Jessica Simpson Tits in a Bule Dress Pictures
Jessica Simpson has Strong Legs

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Legs|Muscular|Short Shorts|Unsorted

2007

17

Sep

I am – Jessica Simpson's Got Some Ripped Muscular Legs of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of a new Jessica Simpson with her ripped legs. The funny thing about being famous is that when bitch was 15 pounds fatter we all ripped into her for being a fat bitch who needed to lay off the ice cream sandwiches in John Mayer’s dressing room. Now bitch has committed to herself to working out, lost all the fat and has legs that remind me of a wrestler and the easy thing to do would be to dis her, but I won’t because I’d take a strong chick over a fat chick any fucking day, and if I could get my wife to fit into a pair of small shorts instead of the XXL sweats she currently rocks, my penis would be in a happier fucking place.

I used to go to a strip club that always had muscle chicks on staff. They looked nothing like a Jessica Simspon, because these bitches were the real deal. I am talking 30 inch thighs, huge biceps and the broadest fucking backs. I never understood why they were there, I think the manager was into that kind of thing or something, or maybe they couldn’t hold down a real job because they were too busy doing push-ups or some shit. Everytime they’d try to sell me a lap dance, I’d ask them how much it would cost to arm wrestle them instead. Unfortunately, these bitches didn’t think like dudes because otherwise they’d laugh and have a go, but they just looked liked dudes and thought the same way the other hotter strippers thought, like that they were some kind of goddess or fantasy who deserved my money for showing me her pectorals and clit the size of a grown man’s thumb…I never went through with it because I was scared, but I am sure they were really nice people.

Either way, here’s the Jessica Simpson in shorts rockin’ some solid legs I would still like to wear as a scarf.

Related Posts:

Jessica Simpson’s Hard Nipples Pictures
Some Jessica Simpson Cleavage Pictures
Some Jessica Simpson Tits in a Bule Dress Pictures
Jessica Simpson has Strong Legs

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Legs|Muscular|Short Shorts|Unsorted

2007

06

Sep

I am – Jessica Simpson’s Nipples of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jessica Simpson’s erect nipples because you haven’t seen enough of her tits in her life. She’s like the old porno mag you keep hidden in your closet from when you were 15 that you still take out on special occasions because there’s this one picture that used to drive you nuts when then and you couldn’t let it go, it’s kinda like the closest thing you have to a girlfriend so I understand.

I used to have this fat, ugly, semi-retarded girl who I’d keep on the back burner for a bunch of years. Whenever I needed a good blowjob, I’d reach out to her and she was always willing. She was probably the girl I should have married, but she was far too ugly for me, but the blowjobs were good and sometimes when alone and sad and detoxing a blowjob from a fat chick with an eating disorder was what you needed, it was like she thought it was some kind of chocolate bar or some shit and she didn’t mind when I didn’t shower for weeks because she said it smelled like Salami and she fucking loved Salami.

Here are those Jessica Simpson nipples….to remind you that she’s the celebrity we want to see naked…none of this Vanessa Hudgens naked shit…which by the way are real and throw my theory that all young girls wax their vaginas. (yes that was me trying to do SEO because I figure why the fuck not, everyone else does it and I am tired of being the coolest blog that no one reads…cuddles)

Related Posts:

Jessica Simspon at the Airport Pictures
Jessica Simpson Boob Pictures
Jessica Simpson is Rock Solid
Jessica Simpson’s Tits in a Blue Dress Pictures

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Nipples|Tits|Unsorted

2007

06

Sep

I am – Jessica Simpson's Nipples of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Jessica Simpson’s erect nipples because you haven’t seen enough of her tits in her life. She’s like the old porno mag you keep hidden in your closet from when you were 15 that you still take out on special occasions because there’s this one picture that used to drive you nuts when then and you couldn’t let it go, it’s kinda like the closest thing you have to a girlfriend so I understand.

I used to have this fat, ugly, semi-retarded girl who I’d keep on the back burner for a bunch of years. Whenever I needed a good blowjob, I’d reach out to her and she was always willing. She was probably the girl I should have married, but she was far too ugly for me, but the blowjobs were good and sometimes when alone and sad and detoxing a blowjob from a fat chick with an eating disorder was what you needed, it was like she thought it was some kind of chocolate bar or some shit and she didn’t mind when I didn’t shower for weeks because she said it smelled like Salami and she fucking loved Salami.

Here are those Jessica Simpson nipples….to remind you that she’s the celebrity we want to see naked…none of this Vanessa Hudgens naked shit…which by the way are real and throw my theory that all young girls wax their vaginas. (yes that was me trying to do SEO because I figure why the fuck not, everyone else does it and I am tired of being the coolest blog that no one reads…cuddles)

Related Posts:

Jessica Simspon at the Airport Pictures
Jessica Simpson Boob Pictures
Jessica Simpson is Rock Solid
Jessica Simpson’s Tits in a Blue Dress Pictures

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Nipples|Tits|Unsorted

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