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Archive for the Lily Allen Category




Lily Allen Bikini Erotica Attempt of the Day

Lily Allen in a bikini proves that dreams do come true because I know when I woke up today hoping the eclipse with the alien attack ended with Lily Allen in a bikini – and not the apocalypse…you know seeing as the eclipse was supposed to leave me blind so that I wouldn’t have to experience all this shit..and I do mean shit…Lily Allen is a fucking barn that hasn’t been cleaned out of a woman…all shitty as fuck…

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Lily Allen Midlife Crisis Concert Tour of the Day

Lily Allen doing this whole pretend she’s not in her 30s, dressing like she’s 20, while making fun of the 20 year olds who are booking her on their tours, since they probably listened to her when they were 8, and she was relevant for that summer…

I find the whole thing offensive, but I guess I am not one of those people who believes in the whole be yourself, do what you want, do what feels right, even if it stems from insecurity…or seems like it is trying to hard.

I am the kind of person who feels that at your 30th birthday, no bikini’s, crop tops, booty shorts, allowed…unless you’re a stripper, in which case your desperation counterbalances the disgustingness…but when you’re rich and don’t need to be doing this…don’t do this…class it up a bit idiot..she’s a fucking mom of two, three if you count the abortion…this is not mom behavior, not even on Halloween…especially not in real life.

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Lily Allen Bikinis of the Day

Lily Allen’s ass is doing something weird to her bikini – or her bikini bottom is doing something weird to her ass – I just know that despite her dying her hair, learning how to white girl twerk, trying her best to relive being a teen popstar she always wanted to be, she is a mom in her 30s…and that makes her gross.

It makes the whole thing absolutely pathetic…but I guess the good news, at least the bright side to this sad sad story of a rich girl with broken dreams, who kind of made it but never quite made it to the level she wanted to, so now she’s up on round two or three and it’s really weird to observe her doing her social observation of pop music, making fun of it, all while doing it…when she should just sit on her money, raise her kids and live the good life…all while NOT wearing a bikini because she’ vile.


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Lily Allen’s Nipple Makes Me Want to Throw Up of the Day

I think it is safe to say…some nipples should not be freed. Lock those fuckers up like the criminals that they are, breaking the law and polluting the world with violence and injustice……you know, in the fucking basement or in solitary confinement so that no one sees them, except maybe the gold digger willing to delve into her twat to knock it up, because good life is better than working life…

I think it is also safe to say, she’s doing this on purpose.


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Lily ALlen Thinks She’s 15 of the Day

I am a firm believer that Lily Allen is the fucking worst. She’s some rich brat from the UK who managed to have a few solid pop albums…despite not looking like a popstar…or acting like a popstar…but rather being more of a comedy or novelty act…that wasn’t even hot to look at, or interesting to listen to….

But as a rich brat from the UK, that scam she pulled wasn’t enough for her, and she had to come back at us 10 years later, with a bit of more fit of a body, even with two kids in tow…and for some reason Miley Cyrus is allowing her to be the opening act…

It’s like she’s trying to be that popstar she always wanted to be, but always hit the mar on, despite selling as many albums as those popstars by not being a popstar…but her ego just won’t let her either continue to make music as Lily Allen…it instead is making her twerk on stage, and dress like this in public, despite being in her 30s…

It’s fucking weird and makes me feel uncomfortable…and not because I want to fuck her despite being disgusted by her…something that always makes me uncomfortable…but because I find the whole thing very sad…how broken her soul must be…to try to fit in with Miley..it’s some crazy delusional shit…


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Lily Allen’s Horrible Close Up Panty Flash of the Day

I didn’t bother GOOGLING Lily Allen to see if she’s actually opening up for Miley Cyrus or if that’s just a rumor I made up, because I would have found it funny that her whole act is making fun of Miley and popstars because she wants to be one so bad, only for Miley to call her out on her bullshit and give her loser ass a job, out of pity, opening for her….I’ve made up stories about a fatter Lily Allen before…like her abortion she masked as a miscarriage that led to her blocking me on twitter, because I guess she didn’t like my tweets…in a pre cyberbully era..

But then again, I don’t ever think about Lily Allen and her sloppy, even when skinny, old even when not that old, mom of two even after her abortion she masked as a miscarriage body…

Until she flashes her cooter, a cooter you know she can fit large objects inside based on her size and her kids alone. I’m talking double cucumber…maybe even triple…not that we’d know since she’s got it tightly wrapped in panties..

I guess her whole experience in pathetic, desperate and there’s something fun about that…but maybe I’m blinded by her pretending she’s 14…we call this a midlife identity crisis


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Lily Allen Takes a Swim Less Fat with Hard Nipples of the Day

The highlight of my Lily Allen career was from back when I was a lot meaner and I saw her as some fat chick who was over-hyped thanks to nepotism. She had announced that she was pregnant with some dude she was going to marry, then they broke up, and a week later she had a miscarriage. So I ran with that little bit of gossip and called her out on having an abortion. Which turns out is something feminists, girls who have had abortions, which is pretty much every girl, and girls who have miscarriages don’t like…especially when they are Lily Allen fans…even though it was funny content…

I mean I didn’t trick Lily Allen into making millions of dollars being famous, I didn’t push her into being a fat public figure with an audience. I didn’t set her up to be made fun of. Because not everything the media shove down our throat is good and not everything they shove down our throat deserves to be celebrated…Sometimes they are shitty people, with shitty content, doing shitty things, that deserve to be shit on…

ANyway, she ended up having kids, clearly her abortion wasn’t destructive enough to stop her from reproducing, and for some reason she looks better than she did before she had kids. Maybe because she realized she was a dumpy pile of shit..up on some Lena Dunham Shit…who needed to get her act together if ever she wanted to be a popstar…that she obviously wanted to be. Otherwise she would have worked behind the scenes.

Now she’s on some kick, where she mocks popstars, the girls she wants to be. A lot like I mocked her abortion, proving that Lily Allen is as horrible a person as me…so what I was doing to her was no different than what she does to Miley…as she simulates the twerk on stage…her teasing is part of her stage show…

Like laughing at her sloppy ass, even after all the working out and trying to be fit…while wearing a bikini…is part of my stage show…this stage show….

Here are the pics of this garbage….looking like garbage…cuz she’s too old for this bikini business even if she’s in better shape than she’s ever been…which if you know Lily Allen…isn’t saying much.


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