DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

05

Apr

Dakota Johnson Butt’s Still in a Bikini of the Day

Dakota Johnson is still in a bikini in Miami…in fact, she’s been in 10 bikinis in the last few days, because she’s clearly working with the paparazzi to get press, to get in to the media, to promote 50 Shades because 50 shades of a waste of my fucking time because the story and the sex in that shit is too lame for me, and the fact some weirdo internet woman make hundreds of millions off it is too irritating for me….

So they are like “hey Dakota, we’re going to send you to Miami, not to mourn your dad’s only relevant role in his career, that put miami on the map, making him the ambassador of miami….and you the princess of miami….but to GET paparazzi bikini pics for people to stare at your ass, hopefully want to fuck you, and go buy movie tickets to jerk off in theater like PeeWee Herman. THink of this as foreplay, yes we don’t advocate people jerking off in public to you, but if it happened it would be a good sing that at least someone finds you hot, plus they paid for the ticket to make it happen, and we need all the ticket sales we can get”……

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Dakota Johnson|SFW

2017

05

Apr

Ali Michael Nipples of the Day

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Ali Michael is a hipster model who is constantly naked.

She has never really hit that big – but she still exists and she still gets booked for editorials and campaigns…and she is still trying….

She’s just one of the thousands of interchangeable bitches….but in trying to break through…at 26….the chances are she’s as “at her peak”….as possible, but it is possible that the friends she’s made being a scenester means she may be involved in more….maybe movies…who knows it’s all so incestuous and repetitive..and it’s all based on who you know…and we can assume she knows or has known some important connected people in her 7 years doing this…

This shoot has some nipple, I just like it because it is horror themed, which I am into and a whore in horror, how could you go wrong…at least as a spectator staring at pics of random girls I don’t know all day…like ME!! Hard to be a hater when you’re not the one putting in the work to make this magic happen, but not really…we call it being in the peanut gallery…I don;’t need to produce garbage to know it’s garbage…I just need to look at it and wonder why people bother producing shit like this…seems like a waste of time…..

Posted in:Ali Michael

2017

05

Apr

Amy Schumer is a Fat Treasure Troll in a Bathing Suit for a Magazine of the Day

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Not only is Amy Schumer not very funny, but she’s also really unattractive, but for some reason, a reason I call a scam some powerful people are in on, she’s managed to find a celebrity, a fan base, a group of people who find her wonderfully clever and funny….

I don’t remember watching too much of her comedy, I don’t think I’ve seen any of it, yet I know who she is, which means someone is pushing her onto us like she is a Lady Gaga or Katy Perry song….

I do know that I just find her fact irritating to look at so I can’t imagine ever really caring to hear what she has to say, but I have seen some jokes and they were sex jokes about either all the sex she gets, or the bad sex she gets, or blowjobs she gives….while knowing that is either a lie, or that she’s just another case of fat girl who thinks dude likes her for her, and not because he wants to bust a nut…and she’s available….or in recent years, he’s an opportunist and she’s a sad broken target – get in there and cash in…

But I guess Hollywood needs this type of relatable monster for the monster women of the world to have some sort of icon to look up to…..like the white Aziz…a bigger bitch than this bitch…but I guess together they remind us the world likes laughing at bitches…

I do know that because of her Netflix special getting down voted by trolls who hate her, according to her, because she can’t be seen as shit….she’s changed the whole format of Netflix so that people can’t down vote shit they hate…trolls…what a fucking whiner.

I will say the biggest joke I’ve seen of hers is everytime she’s in a bikini…it’s LOLZ for everyone.

Posted in:Amy Schumer|SFW

2017

05

Apr

Elsa Hosk Possible See Through to Nipples of the Day

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Elsa Hosk is an old timer model because she’s pushing 30, but only a recent player in the Victoria’s Secret scene, probably in the last 3 years, which I guess in a 10 year career of a model is the equivalent of 10 years of her career, and really it’s the only years that matter, where she’s getting paid – because prior to VS she was doing titty photoshoots like a thirsty instagram girl…only in her case, it worked on a bigger scale than most instagram girls, who really only get sugardaddies out of the whole thing….

She’s at an event, apparently you can see a tit, I don’t see a tit, I see what looks like a trashy, old, tired, rough around the edges, Russian despite being Sweeden, Titty model that pulled a scam and got into VS because Candice wanted a break and this one looked most like her…but who knows….

Here are some of her lingerie pics for the Evil Panty Emperor…..

Posted in:Elsa Hosk|SFW

2017

05

Apr

Soo Yeon Lee Ping Pong Tits of the Day

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Soo Yeon Lee is a table tennis champion….and nude model….making her pretty fucking amazing to me…not because of the table tennis thing, although I like a girl with skill…but because she’s hot asian model…she goes by the name PINGPONGGIRL on instagram. You know her….

She’s a reminder that I have not lived life right, that one of my biggest regrets in life, is that I never banged an Asian woman…which is a pretty ridiculous concept, but I just don’t meet asians outside of the convenience store and the chinese restaurant I go to when drunk. I don’t know their inner scene, what badminton clubs they are part of, and even the really white ones who you are not as asian as you’d want them to be to live out your asian fetish….are too rich and smart to fuck with me….it’s a real fail…they are snobs…and I guess the only way to solve that is go to Asia where I can buy one for 20 dollars or less…SEE DREAMS DO COME TRUE>…

This winner, Soo Yeon Lee, the Table Tennis Champion is fucking hot…think like all asians, with nice little tits and long legs, it’s like fuck…I love asian women as much as I love asian food…but I never get to eat them….like I eat asian food…they just don’t right swipe me on TINDER and that’s

Posted in:Soo Yeon Lee

2017

05

Apr

Peyton Roi List Bikini Picture of the DAy

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Peyton Roi List was born in the 90s, and the 90s are in trend, where people are repurposing T-shirt designs from brands that were big in the 90s, but that I like to focus on the important things like the things that were born in the 90s, they are pre-30 years old, usually under 25, perfectly legal to jerk off to or to try to have sex with and that’s what matters….not a fucking t-shirt design….

This Peyton Roi List was probably exploited by her parents, sold to the industry, and exists because of it, but she’s not quite broken enough for my liking, since her bikini selfies are tame….but I’ll post it anyway..

Posted in:Peyton Roi List|SFW

2017

05

Apr

Pregnant Jennifer Aniston Pregnant Belly in a Leather Dress of the Day

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I am just kidding. Jennifer Aniston can’t make babies…be she is menopausal and can be bloated or distended in her stomach because that’s what seems to happen to most 50 year olds you see in bikinis…they carry their weight…usually those who don’t have kids can delay it….but you can’t fool time….you can try…but you can’t fool time…aging happens to all of us.

But at least she still has her hard nipple that made her the most famous sitcom star, proabbly the first sent of constantly hard nipples on TV back in the 90s….a real innovator…or ego that couldn’t keep her husband around long…as he ran off with Angelina Jolie, the hotter, darker, more terrifying version of this one….making me think that this one’s public image is nothing like the level of cunt she is in person…because why else wouldn’t dudes cum up in her and K-Fed the bitch. It makes no sense on all levels…unless it was her decision to keep riding that celebrity – playing the hot chick despite being 40…don’t ruin it with kids because she’s such a narcissist she can’t fathom reproducing in her image…as it will get in the way of her personal time…

WHO knows…but the nice thing I guess is that if she keeps things up she’ll be able to shop at the maternity ward not due to UTERUS FULL of baby..but because of GUNT.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston|SFW

2017

05

Apr

Kourtney Kardashian’s Mom Pussy Eats Her Bathing Suit of the Day

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Omg Kourtney Kardashian in a Bathing Suit, look at this great body, can you believe she’s a mom! I know I know…that vapid cunt eating bathing suit bottoms is a pretty good indicator…but you’d think she’d be the sister with the smallest cunt even after being a mom of a few…thanks to liking white meat…

But she still looks ok, even though she’s a cancer that needs to be taken out with the rest of the virus that is their family…It must be because she believes in health and fitness, I’m sure it’s all natural from hard work in the gym and a good diet, there’s no way this is plastic surgery or a cheap attempt to get people to notice her, as this family is traditionally about sending a positive message to the kids, and I guess she’s continuing that legacy! Go Kardashians, please tell me what lip plumper I need to buy”….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kourtney Kardashian|SFW

2017

05

Apr

Taylor Bagley Naked for Playboy of the Day

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Taylor Bagley is some bitch you’ve never heard of but she’s straight from the slums of Oklahoma….or maybe she’s from a white bread farm in Oklahoma…who’s to really know…because she moved to LA to be a model and actress, because I guess she found herself hot and talented after all the attention she got from the local cowboys…only to work her way through the system of other hot chicks in LA…landing a famous enough actor…I mean he was on the show SCRUBS and makes his own Movies…but he’s still not the most famous…but rich and famous enough…where she stayed for 5 years….from the age of 22…when she probably first moved to LA….until 5 years later, that’s commitment, he probably has a nice house…when she found some dude in a band to bed…because actors suck…and he wasn’t on TV anymore and dudes in bands…they’re more fun and I guess at 29 she is doing shit like Playboy that still does nudity in some countries…showing her tits to get noticed because it’s good for businesss. You can’t let the dude in a band think she’s just using him like she used the last one…right…and this is the product of that.

SO here are those Zach Braff titties…

Posted in:Taylor Bagley

2017

05

Apr

Charlotte McKinney’s Very Important Photoshoot of the Day

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Charlotte McKinney has one hard nipple in this really lame photoshoot of her in a weird outfit playing basketball like the athlete that she is…and the very important question is where is her other nipple, why is it hiding, why are her massive tits winking at me….I just don’t understand, maybe it would make sense if this was a hooters t-shirt in Fort Lauderdale where this trashy bitch should be working…,but instead she’s a bootleg barely a model but still some kind of model thanks to instagram….all because of big natural tits…it really is that simple.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Here she is for some french magazine featuring her naked…

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW