DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

20

Jan

Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift Hiding in the Bushes Like a Pervert of the Day

I can realate to this annoying picture of Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift…

I’ve spent my fair share of time in bushes…it’s actually how I saw my first topless tanning girl, my first blowjob, my first sex…there was a slutty girl in the neighborhood who we would creep on…and it was how I paved my way into a life of being a peeping tom, something that has gone from climbing up fire escapes and hiding in parties at closets, or bushes…or even back seats of cars…into just being a normal internet user because we’re all now collectively the same kind of voyeuristic pervert…basically taking away the one thing I had that people though was creepy despite being exciting away from me…just another example of how the internet ruined my fucking life..

Yes they workout together, hangout together, BFF each other to partner up and confuse the media together, getting attention together, cobranding and collabing together…it’s garbage and lame..but I still notice…..because I am more pathetic than they are…because they are the ones rich and being talked about…and I’m the one reminded of my pervert years, when I was more adventurous and driven to be a pervert…

In my defense it’s just a stupid fucking pic…

If you Don’t Like That…Here’s Selena Gomez in a White Dress Looking Tough

CLICK HERE

If you don’t like that -TO SEE PICS OF TAYLOR SWIFT LEAVING THE GYM IN A SKIRT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW|Taylor Swift

2016

20

Jan

Sarah Hyland’s Titty Tattoo of the Day

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Sarah Hyland used her tattoo as an excuse to show you her tit…which I guess is common for girls to do…because if they just pull out their tit it seems desperate for attention.

You have to remember that she has been on the same show as Sofia Vergara for the better part of her formative years and that Sofia Vergara was a Colombian hooker who snuck into Miami, and figured out how to not only stay in the country illegally, with her baby, but also to become a huge fucking star. It takes strategic whoring…lessons we can assume she’s passed onto little Sarah Hyland, the freakishly young looking girl, so young looking it looks like hormone therapy to stay young to get cast in TV shows as the kid because she can ride it for a decade…which I guess means we should thank Sofia Vergara for helping with this creepy Sarah Hyland fetish…

If you’re wondering what it says, it’s something like “Follow My Heart” which I’ve decided to decode as “My ex boyfriend beat me, I had to get a restraining order, people like my parents force me into things I don’t like, I am broken and need to believe in myself, but I am terribly insecure, so let me write it on my titty”…

Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2016

20

Jan

Natalie Portman for Dior of the Day

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I know what you are thinking, women are disgusting as fuck after giving birth….

Actually, maybe that’s just what I’m thinking when I see Natalie Portman for this BORING campaign, that I realize is more about being a sophisticated woman, rather than the Israel born Jewish girl that Jewish guys fucking love, because of the fantasy of getting a Jewish girl who looks as good as her pregnant and to have a life with, instead of the Jewish girl who looks more like a troll their parent’s arranged the marriage with…right..

She’s the second generation of Star Wars pussy, after already being an established actress, and people fucking love her…

I guess this isn’t a panty shoot, or a bikini shoot, or an accidental upskirt or nude scene, but I feel like she’s got a tight enough fanbase, that they get excited about everything she does…or however she hustles money…prostituting her celebrity like she was just getting started and is sitting on the casting couch…

I really have no idea why I am promoting this garbage for Dior…but let’s make other people rich…while I remain too poor to buy a case of fucking beer…I’ve played this all wrong…

Posted in:Natalie Portman|SFW

2016

20

Jan

Barbara Fialho Oiled Up of the Day

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Her name is Barbara Fialho….which sounds like Vile Ho…which hits close to home…because every girl I’ve ever slept with has been a vile ho, but unfortunately, none of them looked anything like this….

All this nostalgia is making me want to drink my feelings into numbness…but it probbaly has very little to do with Barbara Fialho, some Brazilian hairy tall thing…who works for Victoria’s Secret, because they obviously have a deal with some Brazilian pimp, he gives them great rates….or maybe Brazil is where they model farm is…who knows…

She’s been topless in a bunch of random shoots in her quest to get famous… CLICK THIS LINK because I have apparently already posted on her tits, as I do with most girls of all levels of fame and irrelevance…

They are just trying to make an honest living by getting half naked for anyone who pays her and gives her exposure, because it may lead to a life of luxury…or a rich husband…like it has for so many girls before her…some call it prostitution…

AND Here she is modelling oiled up and looking good…

Posted in:Barbara Fialho|SFW

2016

20

Jan

Kat Dennings French Maid Outfit of the Day

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In case you forget….which I don’t because she tried to sue me for posting them, Kat Dennings LEAKED A BUNCH OF NUDE/TOPLESS PICS (scroll down) early on in her 3-5 year career, to make sure you remember who she is, to generate some buzz, and to most importantly, get cast in stupid TV shows people seem to like.

She’s always been a doughy, curvy, estrogen filled fertile looking woman that I assume people love because of our deeply rooted “GET A BITCH PREGNANT” genetic coding…

Well, she’s still the biggest girl on TV, literally, and most excitingly, I like to think of her as an old friend, a before she was famous friend, sure I only communicated with her through her lawyer…but it was magical for me…

Not as magical as her in a French Maid Costume, is that even still a thing in this porned up world where role playing is far more insane, French Maid seems totally irrelevant, just not to the shitty writers of her show…but she’s still got big tits…and people love big tits..

Posted in:Kat Dennings|SFW

2016

20

Jan

Kelly Brook Big Tits as Wonder Woman of the Day

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Kelly Brook is serious bottom feeding titty model who is really fucking old now…

She’s still got her tits, sure she’s fatter now, but she’s always been fat, I know Rugby players in the UK who have fucked her and they laugh about how sloppy she is or was…even at her prime…TRUE STORY…

I guess she’s been trying to make it in Hollywood, since she moved to LA at 37 a few years ago, instead of just settling down and making babies despite being pregnant…in the UK…because of delusions that made her think she’s got talent, that she is important, that she can make it in the industry…because no man has ever said no to him due to her tits…

Well, that strategy probably didn’t work, at least based on these pics, not that I know anything Kelly Brook is up to, I don’t really pay attention to last weeks kitchen garbage until it starts to smell, and this is her smelling…in the form of “LETs TRY TO GET NERDS ON BOARD, THIS IS NEW MARKETING STRATEGY, SLUTTY PICS AREN’T ENOUGH”…and it’s boring to me, but I guess you read blogs, making you a pretty pathetic person, so you should fucking LOVE this…I do it for you, think of it as Charity since I don’t get paid to do this….

Posted in:Kelly Brook|SFW

2016

20

Jan

Kylie Jenner in Jeans of the Day

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Kylie Jenner fascinates me….because she is both a dump truck full of garbage kind of person…while also being the garbage within the dump truck…

You can probably argue that it’s not her fault that she was raised amongst such garbage. That her entire life she’s had camera crews following her around as her stage mom and manager tried to hustle as many deals for her…creating a celebrity or it-girl without having any really reason, talent or purpose beyond vanity…

It’s like these self involved pigs are rich and bored and figure they need that stamp of approval to actually matter in the world….to appease that boredom and the public was responsive. They are the ultimate in spokespeople. They can sell product better than a pimp sells pussy to a bunch of asian businessmen…

Kylie Jenner is large, she’s not hot, she looks like she has flesh stapled to her face, but bitch knows how to whore herself…

She’s taking it in, because society says this is the ultimate, the top of the charts, as good as it gets…

It’s safe to assume she’s come falling down hard in the next 5 years, when she’s still under 25 and the world has moved the fuck on from the Kardashians…because they will…I know they willl…I believe…it may take a natural disaster, or an apocalypse, but eventually we won’t care…..and this bitch, will be so lost…she’ll have no choice but suicide…YAY…

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2016

20

Jan

Carolina Jaramillo’s Naked in Bubbles of the Day

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I have no idea who Carolina Jaramillio is…but apparently I follow her on instagram….

It always makes me laugh when I see random titty pics of models and think, I wonder who she is, does she actually matter, is she a legit model or has she just got a famous enough photographer to take nude pics of her, that blogs put this shit…

It’s just so fucking hard to determine if they are working girls, or WORKING GIRLS if you know what I mean, because everyone is getting naked these days, which makes it all just so confusing for me to figure out…

More often than not, I’m already following the girl getting naked in the photoshoot I’m looking at. Like this Carolina Jaramillio…but she doesn’t follow me back, what a cunt, she just wants people to support in her quest to get famous, and doesn’t want to support the people who support her, and she doesn’t want to fuck up her ratio, making her a typical woman who just TAKES AND TAKES AND TAKES the attention she can get….cunt…

Posted in:Carolina Jaramillio

2016

20

Jan

Scout Willis Titty Scandal while Tallulah Willis wears a Thong of the Day

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I saw this on a forum, they claim it’s Scout Willis fashing her tits, and I figured I would post it, because the Willis sisters, were at one point in time, the celebrity rich kids that people paid attention to, and were forced to face just how much plastic surgery their mom had, because they were all very questionable looking, but not too questionable to succeed in the hipster market, where they were loved and adorned, and led the movement of flashing their tits, showing their nipples, being in weird artist photoshoots, and trying to have more purpose than just being Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s trust fund recipients.

I never really hated on them, maybe just the sister RUMER, because she looked like a potato, and I’m trying eat Carb Free…as I don’t want my leg amputated from Diabetes and apparently, my fry addiction works against that…not that that has anyting to do with the younger Willis Sisters…like SCOUT and her nipple or Tallulah and her thong ass…or even Rumer who has since done Dancing with the Stars and has also done Plastic surgery with her mom, because even if they were raised in mountain in Montana, where Ashton Kutcher developed his internet addiction that has since made him a billionaire before leaving his stepkids to post nudes…they still are as bad as all the other celebrity kids…it’s just the way they are raised and the life they live but I’m ok with them getting naked…

Scout on top – Tallulah on bottom…