DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

30

Dec

Kylie Jenner’s Doughy Purchased Ass of the Day

Kylie Jenner at 18 is already so fucking broken, damaged, disgusting looking, fabricated by the family hired scientist, because I guess that’s how they make money, and despite already having so much money, they are addicted to making more…and now…throw the rest of the family into the mix, except the fat one with Diabetes, no not the monster one, the guy, who they realized wasn’t as marketable as the rest of them becuase he didn’t have natural tits, just fat tits…no not Caitlyn the dad who became the mom…the brother no one bothers with…because he was smart enough to remove himself from the situation his psycho mom created…

But this 18 year old, she’s right up in the mix, she’s the final of her creatures, and so it is only natural to make her a creature, that looks like she’s had meat stapled to her fucking head…and face…and now ass…it’s what the people want…

If she’s already this broken and beat up looking at 18…I assume 30 will be pretty rough…assuming she lives that long, seeing as drug addiction and overdose from being a punchline to a terrible yet lucrative joke…will lead to…

The fucking worst and here she is photoshopped to shit for February 2016’s Elle UK…she’s not even hot, why do people, or the media keep talking about these garbage people…fuck…

Here’s the video – I didn’t watch…because I can assure you that nothing an uneducated, vapid little cunt has to say is a waste of all of your fucking time…seriously..

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2015

30

Dec

Rita Ora’s Still in her Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I posted and linked to some of these bikini pics yesterday, because Rita Ora, despite being a useless celebrity who has barely done anything remarkable, does have remarkable tits, and apparently has a good agent, publicist and label who get her to the right events, making us think she matters…and I guess with a great set of tits..comes come…or something..

Well, in her titty news, she’s with Daddy Issue Daisy Lowe in Miami, and I want better pics of her pussy / dick slip….or maybe it’s just herpes burn…or shark prevention due to her being mid miscarriage…who knows…but I’m curious to know what is going on in these pics…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF RITA ORA CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2015

30

Dec

Hilary Duff for Some Old Lady Housewife Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

Attention walmart shoppers…Hilary Duff is s boring, thick, 30 something year old mom…who probably has weird sexual fetishes that she would shock the people who grew up watching her, like Taylor Swift, you know into Double Penetration or gangbangs from her years in the lockeroom as a soccer wife, or maybe she’s just into suffocating other girls with her pussy…it’s a power play….but I know in the depth of my soul, that there’s more to this young mom, homemaker, billionaire…than just a wholesome sweater vest or whatever the fuck she’s wearing in what looks like this church going, bible thumping, parent teacher association magazine spread…that I guess her and her team probably think is more marketable than a sex tape featuring her fetishes…because like most people, keep the fetishes secret until you match them on tinder…and the public image respectable…until you match them on tinder…

BOOO to that…

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2015

30

Dec

Quirky Emmy Rossum’s Awkward Bikini Pic of the Day

No Comments »

Look at those terrified, old, tired, bag filled eyes…it’s like fresh faced doesn’t exist in the world of Emmy Rossum, who like so many other female actors lacks swagger and looks, but we deal with it, because they are the ones getting the jobs…in the shows we watch…in our mindless lives…that we pollute with mindless television…like robots…thanks to it’s addictive nature for population control….

What I’m trying to say is that Emmy Rossum is not hot, naked or not naked, in a bikini or not in a bikini, in a sex scene or not in a sex scene and if anyone tells you otherwise, they are just an idiot who can’t get laid, who has never left the house and who has never been on instagram…because the world is filled with girls who are far hotter..

Sure they aren’t on TV, don’t have sex scenes, but even with that, this Emmy Rossum bitch is so average and boring….even in a bikini top.

Posted in:Emmy Rossum|SFW

2015

30

Dec

The Cast of Pretty Little Liars Slutty Update of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t watch Pretty Little Liars , but I know it’s a popular show and the girls on the show, have a pretty massive fan base, because I run a blog about these celebrity model bitches, even if I don’t give a fuck and I don’t participate in the scene…or digest their bullshit content…I am too busy sexting…

What I do know is that chubby Ashley Benson’s Got Cleavage of the Day that she was showing off in a photoshoot, and that you can stare at because you like cleavage…even on chubby chicks, especially when they are photoshopped and in black and white so you don’t see anything vile….

I also know that Canadian Shay Mitchell in a Bikini of the Day because she’s got a rocking fucking body, and she wants the world to see it, and talk about it, outside of Pretty Little Liars character, since she’s at that pivotal moment of not being typecast, so that she can continue to work and make money in the industry….it’s like give people jerk off material as Shay Mitchell not as the character she plays…or some shit..

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW|Shay Mitchell

2015

30

Dec

Maria Menounos in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Maria Menounos is around 40 years old.

The most interesting thing about her is that she is Greek, anal sex loving, because that’s what greeks are into, at least that’s the rumor and I believe all rumors…

The other interesting thing about her is that she made a career as a host on a shitty, targeted to white trash trailer park, on disability people addicted to TV…that she quit…despite being the new Mary Hart…with a fan base, because people really found her hot….only to go onto do nothing substantial or interesting…but she still posts bikini selfies….

Even though, anyone who knows anything about Maria Menounos knows she had a pussy slip in a bikini once….

And no bikini pic she posts will ever be as good, and maybe she just does these new bikini pics as a vehicle or excuse to get people to post those pussy slip bikini pics…who knows….or cares…she’s a virtual fucking no one…and she’s not even that hot…in a world filled with hot girls you have access too on tinder…it’s hard to bother with these idiots..

TO SEE HER PUSSY SLIP IN A BIKINI CLICK HERE

Posted in:Maria Menounos|SFW

2015

30

Dec

Bai Ling’s Words of Wisdom of the Day

No Comments »

Just when you assumed Bai Ling was some import from Hong Kong who has been here for 20 years, but has no actually purpose to speak, since she’s never had a talking roll in a movie, and god knows she’s tried….it turns out that either she, or her handler, has some very important things to say in her continued fame whoring, despite being 50, but still rocking a hotter body than most…and those words are “Good Vibes Only”….

She’s weird, but she mastered being in the paparazzi without ever mattering, better than any of these instagram models, so in ways….she created instagram….she’s the forefather to that shit…Asians…so advanced..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Bai Ling|SFW

2015

30

Dec

Willa Holland’s Ass Cheek of the Day

No Comments »

Willa Holland was the teen sister on the OC who I know a bunch of dudes in their 30s probably jerked off to her…she’s also on Arrow…where the same people jerk off to her…socially award weirdos…

She’s been in the industry forever since she was 7, her stepfather, and we love stepfathers because that’s the name of the fucking site and we need to cover all stepfather news, is or was Brian De Palma, a pretty serious director in the 80s…her godfather Steven Spielberg….making it really hard to break through…but more importantly, robbed her of her childhood and probably brought her some solid damaged rich kid issues, and identity crisis, at least we hope it did..

Well, she’s delving into photography, as everyone on instagram is, and she posted a pic of half of her ass, or maybe it is someone elses ass, which is apparently enough ass for me to look at…and post…I’m pretty desperate and pathetic.

Posted in:SFW|Willa Holland

2015

30

Dec

Taylor Schilling’s See Through bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is Taylor Schilling and she’s more than just a terrible, weirdly lesbian body, all boxy and flat chested, possibly overly muscular, or just awkwardly fat, in what we used to call “slim fat”…

She’s from the show…Orange is the New Blck…where she probably plays a lesbian…and her bikini is See Through…

So Look, but don’t touch yourself…it may make you gay or into tranny…but you didn’t need a terrible bikini shoot to know that…

What I guess it comes down to is the see through bikini ,who cares what old lady it is on, because I like see through bikini…but more importantly…is Taylor Schilling good enough for Bill Cosby to rape…that’s the new basis or benchmark…or litmus test of whether she matters…because all I’ve heard about today is Bill Cosby this and Bill Cosby that…it’s been the year of Bill Cosby…and I guess by default Jello Pudding pops and Quaaludes.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Schilling

2015

30

Dec

Kate Upton is Great At Eating for Harper’s Bazaar Singapore of the Day

No Comments »

“Pose with puppies, they won’t know you’re fat”

Kate Upton is a very large model turned actress who can’t act, but who gets cast in movies, because producers don’t realize that no one actually cares about her, and that she was virally famous on the internet like Tila Tequila got famous on the internet, it’s flimsy, not real, and people aren’t engaged or really that into her, but if her tits are out there, they’ll look “excitedly” at them…enough to click “follow” on social media…

There’s very little exciting about her, even in her nude leaked pics, I was like, “Damn that’s one sloppy bitch, how does she get work”….but I guess when she was freshly 18, and a set of huge tits, before her body caught up with her, she was an interesting biological anomaly.

She’s still got some level of celebrity, this stuff has a legacy or lag, and when you know she should be done, she can still milk it a few more years, and I guess she is, like the cow that she is…not quite ready to be put out to pasture…

And the real impressive thing about her is how magazines and brands edit her photos or shoot her so that she doesn’t look like the Monster she is built like…

In this case, they used puppies…and had her giggling…because when a girl smiles large with puppies, in a lot of clothes, you don’t notice her belly, or in Kate Upton’s case, her massive back…used to support those sloppy tits…

Here are the pics…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW