DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

18

Aug

Bar Refaeli’s Booty Big Game Hunting of the Day

I like to think this is a heartless Bar Refaeli mocking the game hunting of Lions, possibly because she’s Israeli, and figures north Africa has more issues than people hunting Lions, but rather people hunting Jews…something that I assume happens in Tel Aviv, when she’s not ripping lines of cocaine at some beach party until 7 in the morning, because she’s a wife now, ready to settle down and make babies, and use her celebrity, especially her local celebrity to make her as rich as possible, because that’s what she’s into…especially now since her vagina has tasted Leonardo’s possibly homo dick…probably unprotected…since no one uses condoms…but didn’t trap him when she had the chance…not that that has anything to do with her mooning Zebra bodies…in fact, I don’t know what mooning Zebra bodies has to do with anything, but she is doing it, and I guess that’s better than a day at the zoo…unless you’re the kind of guy who like captive animals becuase they are the only think that you can relate to, as you life feels like a horrible prison…

Posted in:Bar Refeali|SFW

2015

18

Aug

Ginger Spice in a Bikini of the Day

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Ginger Spice was the chubby, but good chubby, not Baby Spice chubby, Spice Girl created in the UK, set to take over the world, in what was cheesy and calculated but that worked, because the general population are retards who eat this shit up…

Ginger Spice was tits, that were previously a nude model and possible stripper, tits that weren’t quite as hard nippled as Scary Spice…that were more eager to be exposed….

She was the one who probably would have become a hooker, but who instead…had a solo career with one song…and now, she’s more fit, a mom and in a bikini…

Which is apparenlty…newsworthy…even though she was kicked out of the band in 1999, because I guess I used to jerk off to their music video, since it was pre-porn on the interent…close to 3 decades ago…yet they still matter…and are putting on a reunion tour…which is just weird…

Here’s a jazzy edit of the pics…Jazzy…

Posted in:Ginger Spice|SFW

2015

18

Aug

Nicki Minaj’s Unfortunate Not Really a Nipple Slip of the Day

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I didn’t care about the Nicki Minaj nipple slip at some Vancouver concert…or as they call it…a wardrobe malfunction…

I hate when people call it a wardrobe malfunction…

I don’t find Nicki Minaj nipple exciting, hot, interesting, or even worth noticing…

There are so many better, less successful sure, but way cooler nipples to look at…

Hell, I would rather look at your nipple than this trash…

No, I will not suck it while you jerk off..that’s gay…

Fine, I wouldn’t rather look at your nipple than her nipple, but I still don’t care about her nipple..

THis isn’t Janet Jackson superbowl half time you know…

This is the porn era, and unless her dude has his baby arm spreading her large anus apart…

This isn’t exciting…she’s dumpy…and a lie…make her go away…thanks..

Here is the best video on the topic..

To see more of the Concert Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Nicki Minaj|SFW

2015

18

Aug

Doutzen Kroes Booty Pop of the Day

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I don’t know whether the world needs more pictures of some Dutch model pushing 30…who is married to a DJ who she probably met backstage while high on MDMA and he forgot to finish in her ass…leading to the first of their two babies…in some attention seeking bikini pics….

Especially now that she’s not Victoria’s Secret, because she’s not good enough for them, and they are pretty loyal to the girls they make famous, but in this case, they just kicked her out of the catalog like it was some bad reality show…that I should write and produce called Catalog girl, that now that I just posted will be stolen by Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks and a variation of their two model shows…

Not that it matters, what matters is that all ass in bikini pics matter on instagram, and I’d post all of them, but there are too many of them, so I just focus on the already established girls, rather than the up and comers fucking their way through the industry finding their place…because that’s all part of laziness…laziness that we can assume Doutzen Kroes suffers from too, because this type of content takes her a minute to coordinate and put up, while a gangbang requires phone calls…get it together, already retired, over the hill booty in a thong…

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|SFW

2015

18

Aug

Art Provocative Brings the Australian Sex Workers of the Day

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I am a firm believer of sex workers being legalized, regulated, in control of their body….it si the oldest profession and if a girl want to fuck for money, she should be allowed to make that choice…if she wants to fuck for love, she should be allowed to make that choice, if she wants to fuck because he’s the DJ, or celebrity, or int he band, she should be allowed to make that choice, if she wants to fuck because he’s a nice guy and they met as childhood friends, she should be allowed to make that choice…

The state’s involvement in what conditions people should fuck makes no sense to me…but I blame Christians…especially since most politicians fuck hookers, often times the trans kind..

That said, as a sex worker lover, because we are all God’s people, and I take my own distorted JESUS approach, @Art_Provocative is a friend of the site, and a friend of the girls, who takes the pictures for what would have bene back pages ads…many years ago…

It’s an interesting job, that gives us a look into an interesting world, one that I full support, and endorse, as long as the girls are safe…and look like this because this girl’s a fucking babe….

Posted in:Photos

2015

18

Aug

Candice Swanepoel Naked and Engaged of the DAy

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Candice Swanepoel is apparently engaged to her longterm boyfriend and no one actually cares because Candice Swanepoel doesn’t matter..

She’ sold and tired looking now, her body still great, but her entire career she’s been uninteresting, uneventful and a total waste of talent and opportunity…

Victoria’s Secret took her Rich South African ass and gave it a platform to be scandalous or even fun, and instead they got some bitch who should work in administration, and not the good kind of administration, like administering enemas and objects in her ass…but rather the socially awkward kind that in a pre-internet era would have been in a mail room filing letters…

She sucks, her engagement doesn’t matter, but her naked selfie on instagram is interesting enough to post and I guess hEre she is for Victoria’s Secret’s recent catalog…that is cheesy as fuck and the same as it was many many years ago..which I guess is pretty representative of Swanepoel…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2015

18

Aug

Jennifer Lawrence Hot in Montreal of the Day

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Jennifer Lawrence is in Montreal…and I am in Montreal…and it would make so much sense for the gossip magazines if we were in Montreal together, but the truth is that I don’t leave my house, Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t know I exist, and really represents all that is wrong in the entertainment industry, I mean other than her nude pics…her nude pics were a good strategic release to help win some more fans…her tits perfect…her poses amazing…really channelling a slut in a long distance relationship dying to get fucked…an insatiable appetite for her pussy cumming…but those pics were not nearly as good as this one of her…that really showcases her natural beauty and possible over eating….now that Fat chicks are the best…

TO SEE PICS OF HER BRALESS – CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|SFW

2015

18

Aug

Britney Spears Yoga Pose of the Day

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Nothing says relaxation like a solid, upside down, yoga pose…performed by a serverly medicated, Emily Smart style caged dancing monkey, used to make the family lots of money…

Ok maybe her tits at the teen choice awards….the other day…when they let her out of her cage…and where I assume she made signs for the public to save her…but they didn’t…because we are horrible people, who like to mind our business, while making the dancing monkey dance…

I saw a girl doing Yoga in the park yesterday, and all I could think about were the stories about how much women fart in yoga, that and imagining eating her ass, it was good…

That said I like to think her yoga, is not for farting, but is her plotting her escape, just getting fit enough to really squeeze through the barbed wire fence and run to another country for immunity…

THAT SAID TO SEE HER AT THE TEEN CHOICE AWARDS SHOWING TIT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2015

18

Aug

Jessica Alba’s Drowned Ass of the Day

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I don’t mean to milk these Jessica Alba in a bikini pics like they matter…but I just can’t help myself. I guess I”m like an internet hoarder who should realize that if you’re actually an Alba fan you’ve already seen all these pics, especially since I posted some of them yesterday, like they mattered, even though they don’t, but I guess they do….

But I figure if Alba is milking them, I should play alone, we as a collective haven’t made her a massive success or anything, we might as well keep it up so she really maximizes everything….more than she already has…

You see, her business is going public, she’ll walk away with over 200 million dollars, and she can go back to her true love, no not being a mom, being the now middle aged girl, dudes who wanted to fuck her when they were in high school still want to fuck…and she’ll produce content for that because when you have all the money in the world, what else is there to do…just ask Beyonce…

That said, there’s something highly erotic about staring at her ass in a bikini while she plays dead, like a drowned victim in the grotto…maybe this will become a new instagram trend called “floating”…for people like me to jerk off to…fantasies of throwing my wife overboard in international waters on a cruise…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

18

Aug

Micaela Schafer in Some Nude Photoshoot of the Day

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Micaela Schafer is a fame whore from Germany, not unlike Hitler, who was also a fame whore from Germany, only Hitler’s Gimmick to get famous was fascist and to kill all the Jews, and really anyone who wasn’t white, while Micaela Schafer’s gimmick is just to kill any dignity she might have had if she remained a useless stripper or call girl no one knew existed, instead of being the red carpet novelty act showing her tits..

Well, her career has really taken off, and is now putting out calendars, and doing shoots like this with her friend, like a solid Playboy chick in the 90s, which is way out of style here, but Germans still love David Hasselhoff and take him seriously, that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Micaela Schafer