DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

30

Mar

Bar Refaeli In Marie Claire Mexico of the Day

I guess Bar Refaeli still exists…I just figured that she fell off the map and moved back to Israel after the whole Leonardo DiCaprio thing fell apart…because she is one of the chosen ones and doesn’t need America’s support or approval..

Or maybe, she was just getting old, tired and burnt out by getting paid 100k to do nothing all day but show up at a studio and pose…and she just had enough of it…even if it’s not like a jew to turn down money…making me think…maybe she wasn’t being offered money…because when you’re not good enough for Leo, you’re not good enough for brands…so she went and started her own….enterprising…

And now she’s doing obscure market magazines, working her way back in, now well into her 30s…and I guess it’s not all that bad…

Posted in:Bar Refaeli

2015

30

Mar

Miley Cyrus Beer Showers a Bootleg VS Model of the Day

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Miley Cyrus’ new BFF, is some bootleg VS model, who makes no sense as a VS model, not that VS has any real clout anymore, and are struggling to cooler instagram brands, but pulling some random hipster chick in and giving her their stamp of approval is just weird as fuck, she must be connected, or at least is now…hanging out with Miley and maximizing it in bikini doing Beer bottle “facials”….but not on her face…

It’s a little erotic, but would be better…if she was actually built less like a little boy and/or she was sitting on Miley’s face while doing this…but it’s still good enough…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2015

30

Mar

Demi Lovato in a Bikini of the Day

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I thought Demi Lovato was a lesbian, partially because a reliable source told me that she has a sex tape with Miley from when they were underage, beause all these kids are fucked right up…and partially because she looks like a bull dyke…

But she’s hugely famous, and is dating Wilmer from That 70s Show, who has been with her forever, and who at one time was devirginizing every 17 year old celebrity, because he could, and because it was a cultural thing but now he’s just locked into this…whatever the fuck this is…other than a pretty decent looking ass that I’m into…despite it being attached to everything I hate…

The fact is, lesbian or not, at least she looks better than she used to, even if it’s all angles and lies…that is kind of how everything about these pop idiots works…so just look at her ass…

Posted in:Demi Lovato

2015

30

Mar

Britney Spears Instagram Bikini Fail of the Day

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Britney Spears is a doughy mother who has managed to post what I assume is the worst bikini selfie in the history of bikini selfies on Social Media….I mean this one with the inflatables is a little better because I see what looks like a mom pussy eating a pair of bikini bottomes, something I am a huge fan of…but still…this girl, I guess being Britney Spears…controlled and managed by a team, doesn’t really want the fame, she just does the bare minimum because she knows if she doesn’t she’ll be killed off or her kids will be taken from her…

Either way, she’s still in a bikini and that’s enough for a post, because Britney in a bikini is timeless, even if it’s aged badly and time to hang it up, I’ll still look…

TO SEE HER IN SOME BOOTLEG HAWAII BIKINI TOP PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Britney Spears

2015

30

Mar

The Other Hadid in Vogue of the Day

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The funny thing with rich girls is that if you are their absentee father who is out fucking the nanny and other aspiring models because you’re rich as fuck in LA…your only way to keep them happy and feeling appreciated is to shower them with gifts…

So Gigi wanted to be more like her friend Kendall Jenner, so the dad called on his friends…because modeling and instagram followers is the new “Pony and Range Rover” birthday gift….

And with any bratty rich kid, comes a jealous sibling who threatens drug use, stripping, or whatever, even though they all do drugs, unless she get the same gift her sister got, which in this case is not a Pony or a Range Rover but a modeling career…

So here she is in Vogue…and I’m only posting it because it is funny to me…but not as funny as the alleged Gigi doing coke video that’s lurking around the internet that I am too lazy to google..

Ok fine…I googled it…

Gigi gets all the attention…so here is her sister…

Posted in:Bella Hadid

2015

30

Mar

Lauren Cohan Fetish Bra of the Day

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Lauren Cohan is some 32 OR 33 year old from Walking Dead, a show I don’t watch because Zombies bore me, or at least people fighting off Zombies bore me….I mean sure if there was a Zombie apocalypse and Zombies actually existed, I would be into watching humans run for their fucking lives, trying to survive their corpose monsters trying to eat their brains, but only because I think humanity needs a reset and that type of situation would take us out of our current self involved situation, where we work to pay the fucking bills and get drunk to forget how shitty our lives is, to focus on the important things, like killing off people you hate and blaming it on the zombies..because in Zombie apocalypse there is no law…

Either way, she posted pics of her in some fetish, leather, strappy bra that allows access to breast feed men, babies, and men with baby fetishes alike…and she may not have gone as hard as the topless protestors of Iceland, but she’s still more interesting than she’s ever been to someone like me, who has never watched the show, but assume she’s the only pussy on the show, I’d want to eat to survive…

Posted in:Lauren Cohan

2015

30

Mar

Ashley Roberts Royal Panty Flash of the DAy

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I don’t think Ashley Roberts is Julia Roberts’ bootleg sister who never made it, and who like Pippa Middelton got all naughty at all the Royal events to get noticed because living in her sister’s shadow is depressing, and they all want to be queen too..

I don’t think Ashley Roberts is Emma Roberts’ older sister, or one of Eric Roberts’ drunken wife after winning the Oscar and falling off…

I don’t know any other Roberts I can question her being related to….

But I do know she’s clearly an attention seeking Brit at some Royal charity event using the wind and the paparazzi strategically to get a panty flash going on, and I fucking love wind induced panty flashes, even when the girl is so desperate she probably has fishing wire attached to her skirt to make it happen…it’s still a panty flash dammit..

Classy.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Roberts

2015

30

Mar

Charli XCX Has Figured it All Out of the Day

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Charli XCX understands the importance of showing off her dumpy ass as much as she can to get noticed, because that’s what Charli XCX has got press for, and press leads to music sales, and music sales leads to tours, and tours lead to her doing the same thing on stage and whether her ass is great, average or pretty shitty, so shitty that it might as well be covered in shit, like she was out of toilet paper or something…but still ass…that I’ll stare at, because I am a curious fellow…but really only curious about how many times she can wear the same outfit to taint with vagina sweat…night after night…before the small is so potent I’d cum myself being within 10 feet of it…

These are the important questions in life…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Charli XCX

2015

30

Mar

Christina Milian Instagram Bikini Model of the Day

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Christina Milian tries so hard to get noticed, to be famous, to be the next Nicki Minaj, even though she was the original Nicki Minaj, a popstar who could have turned into a a pop rap star, if she didn’t go and get knocked up by someone who probably writes all of Nicki Minaj’s music…

A few months ago, despite being Christina Milian, and posting whore pics of herself and being a host on the VOICE, she had next to no following on social media, I’m sure she’s doing better now, seeing as she has a show and all that, but still not as popular as no name girls who post hot slutty pics, but that doesn’t mean she won’t keep trying with the bikini pics…because she keeps on trying with the bikini pics…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Christina Milian

2015

30

Mar

Eva Amurri Martino Bikini Round Up of the Day

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There is something boring about a Hollywood Celebrity daughter who tried to get famous on her own, using her mom’s contacts, because her mom was in Rocky Horror Picture show, and that’s fucking serious acting motherfuckers, enough to get her useless kid to be a set of tits on Californication, because let’s face it, Californication would cast any low level, bootleg actress for their topless parts…

There is somehting even more boring than that Hollywood celebrity daughter…in and of herself…even in bikini pics….when WE’VE SEE THE BIG NATURAL TITS

Posted in:Eva Amurri