DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

25

Nov

Cameron Diaz is Young and Fresh Looking of the Day

Cameron Diaz amazes me…and not necessarily in a good way. I mean sure she’s a good romantic comedy actress, who I guess hits the comedic beat of shitty comedy, while always playing the same character and getting paid way too much money for it..and sure she was hot as fuck when she was a tall model babes in the 90s….and sure she made the right choice to not reproduce, despite all the sex she had with pretty much everyone in the industry….but I think, at least based on her botox face, that it’s time to start casting her as the mom of the love interest in movies, and not the love interest…there’s nothing more offensive that seeing her play the role a 25 year old should be playing…it’s like MILF her or dump her…she’s not the young thing she was 2 fucking decades ago – seriously..

I mean just look how battered she looks here…it’s been a rough journey of making tens of millions to work 6 weeks a year….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Cameron Diaz

2014

25

Nov

Lera by Artem Grinchenko of the Day

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I don’t know who Lera or Aretm Grinchenko is…but I do know that I am much more into great pictures of no name girls modeling…than I am into standardized pics, whether in magazines or paparazzi, that have no real substance and that aren’t interesting to look at – at all….of celebrity girls, who as far as I’m concerned have no business being celebrated or famous, because they aren’t hot or talented, they just have a team that knows how to make shit happen for them, and the retards of the world gaze upon them like they are some kind of gods…where girls, who are hotter than them, aspire to be them….and guys, want to fuck them, even though in the grand scheme of everything they don’t fucking matter. They do nothing good. They make stupid money, and are excessive, and they represent all that is evil…and nothing that is pure…while no name models…represent all that is good…all beautiful and shit…until they actually make it…which is when they flip the switch and become as horrible as the girls they don’t represent at this stage in the game…

ALl this to say, anyone on camera is horrible, but the pre-famous are way fucking better than the famous, and that’s why I like this Lera….

Posted in:Lera

2014

25

Nov

Dakota Fanning Doesn’t Cameltoe of the Day

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This may not be exciting developments in Dakota Fanning’s career, but I like to think it just contributes to how creepy she is. You know the fact that her tight pants don’t get jacked up her vagina like tight pants do to every other girl in existence…I know because I stare at vaginas…when other guys stare at tits and asses…because Vagina Definition excites me…which in and of itself may be as creepy as Dakota Fanning not having a vagina….because she’s a robot we should have been aware of when she was roboting back in the 90s when she was 3 and acted 46….it was like she was programmed to be human adult, while being in a kid body…and now we find out she’s got no genitals….weird.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Dakota Fanning

2014

25

Nov

Rachel Yampolsky by Mario Kroes of the Day

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I don’t know who Rachel Yampolsky is. I don’t know who Mario Kroes is. I’ll just assume he’s related to Doutzen, or that Kroes is a common dutch name….

I just know that I like whatever is going on here, because any model, willing to show her tits, in some studio shots that have no clear or present purpose, that aren’t necessarily for a brand, or magazine, but rather just for the sake of having pictures taken, like she got up and left her house to make this happen….when she could have done anything else…is pretty special…but I might just be saying that because I like nipples.

Posted in:Rachel Yampolsky

2014

25

Nov

Katie Holmes by Randall Slavin of the Day

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I am pretty sure that Randall Slavin has shot for Victoria’s Secret, but who really cares about the people who shoot for Victoira’s Secret, because Victoria’s Secret is a fucking scam and all their pictures are standardized and boring, and make me think any technician briefed on what they want, and who has any perspective on their last 2 decades of work, will be able to recreate it like a dancing photo taking monkey…but I guess they pay well..

That said, he shot these pics of Katie Holmes, that remind me that Katie Holmes, despite being knocked up by Tom Cruise in some Rosemary’s baby situation in the lab using alien sperm, is semi-human, because she’s aging…unless it is just a product of the radiation from space during her travels into enlightenment only rich people are privy to. You know some robot skin melting shit…because it didn’t factor in earth’s ozone layer when it was created on a far away planet….becauase she looks 50 and is still in her 30s…and that freaks me the fuck out…

Here are the pics for whatever the fuck this is…

Posted in:Katie Holmes

2014

25

Nov

Creepy Hotel Erotica Video of the Day

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Hotel Erotica ~ The Lobby (Preview) from Thomas Hodges on Vimeo.

I saw this video making the rounds of the internet, and I didn’t really take the time to figure out what it is, I just know it is on VIMEO so that must mean it is art not porn, but not necessarily good art or interesting art, even though vagina flashes in public are always good art, except apparently, when part of weirdo fucking videos that look like some bootleg shit some college student shat our for a project back in 1995….before digital…

I figure if you click the video, you’ll see more about what it’s about, but for now, I’ll just use it to bring back memories of an 18 year old pantyless girl I once met in a club, and by met, I mean looked up her skirt as she danced on a balcony, not knowing I was looking….It was love at first sight/lip slip…we didn’t end up meeting…but I saw all I needed to see….

Posted in:Videos

2014

25

Nov

Coco Does Thanksgiving of the Day

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Being a hooker, who has managed to sugar baby some dude who likes hookers, allowing her the financial freedom to have a good time just fucking around as a hooker would, if a hooker had the means to fuck around, and the whole thing is fun, even cute and I appreciate it, because despite being a silly ass implant novelty act you’d expect to find at a strip club, she has a lot of fun trying to make her own money and pave her own way, when other hookers who sugar baby rich guys become uppity bitches, who think they are the reason their boyfriends are rich, and who spend their boyfriends money like it was their own, because 50 percent of it is their own, but it’s way worse than staying true to her half naked self…

So this is an instagram campaign for some shitty brand, and she’s doing it with a gutter, welfare thanksgiving meal that she made herself at the grocery store’s pre-made food section…and I guess what matters is not her thanksgiving spirit, but her reflection in the mirror…that ass may go for blood, but it’s no vampire…

Posted in:Coco

2014

25

Nov

Some Paris Hilton Artwork of the Day

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Our friend THE P IS FOR PENIS …who I think we may have met at some comic convention a few years ago, who we asked to make us T-Shirt designs, and who never ended up making t-shirt designs, because no one, not every our friends from comic conventions want to contribute to our success, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to contribute to their success, especially when their artwork is a lot of fun, like this play on a song called “Niggas in Paris” by Kanye and Jay Z….because they are fancy…only like “One Night in Paris” before this…pretty fucking funny if you ask me, which you didn’t officially, but if you’re reading this than you did…asshole…

TO SEE some Pictures of Paris Hilton Leaving her Hotel in NYC CLICK HERE

Posted in:Art

2014

25

Nov

Rihanna Twerking of the Day

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Rihanna twerked on Faceboook, but I don’t really know if it is considered twerking, because she’s from the Caribbean, where this dance is just considered dancing and doesn’t have a stupid fucking name to go with it, unlike the other white tricks in the industry who twerk on stage like they have any right doing it….I’m talking to Iggy Azalea…that stripper bitch who tricked the fucking world….and even Beyonce who I guess owns 50% of Jay-Z’s stake in Rihanna, but should den mother better than pretend to be one of the girls..right….

Posted in:Rihanna

2014

25

Nov