DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

21

Nov

Karlie Kloss and Candice Swanepoel Boring BTS of the Day

I guess in preparation of the Victoria’s Secret Infomercial America is already excited about watching, because I guess they don’t have access to internet porn, or really anything hotter than a bunch of model walking the runway in family friendly, because it is primetime, bikinis….a television event we can all agree is a fucking scam that no one should be excited about….unless you live in a fucking Trailer park and Network TV, and Malls is all you fucking know, Karlie Kloss and Candice Swanepoel were commissioned to release some Behind the Scenes pics, because that’s what their contracts stipulate, and without Victoria’s Secret, Karlie wouldn’t be scissoring Taylor Swift, and Candice would be dying of AIDS back home in South Africa, if she survived being shot by her legless boyfriend…the pics suck, but she’s wet…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Karlie Kloss

2014

21

Nov

Heidi Klum Nipple on Set of the Day

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I don’t know what this photoshoot of Heidi Klum is from, but I am going to assume that it is something recent, where you can see some nipple, even though she’s probably in her 50s, and is a mom of 50, who has been sodomized by massive black penis she was married to, and I’m not talking about Bill Cosby, who seems to have sodomized everyone, including your childhood, I am talking about the OG Scarface…who has the voice of an angel…proving that germans , the freaky pragmatic people, who when not shitting on each other for sexual release, after a day engineering cars, can still look good, thanks to 1940s Aryan Ethnic cleansing experiments coordinated by Hitler…right…

Posted in:Heidi Klum

2014

21

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio Has Tits of the Day

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Wanna know what I find so fucking fun. I mean like the most fun ever.

Starring at a picture of a model at an event…fully clothed…showing off some cleavage…because she has spent the last decade and a half modeling half naked…in lingerie…and bikinis…because she was part of the most hyped underwear cartel of our generation’s marketing team….before having a bunch of kids…not quite ruining her body, but probably ruining her vagina….

Because my life is pathetic. I mean seriously…if I was actually into Alessandra Ambrosio…I’d probably go through her backlog of content…and not bother with her Brazilian ass doing shitty press…because cleavage…isn’t spread asshole…and I am about the spread assholes…not to mention – she’s old.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2014

21

Nov

Miley Cyrus’ Instagram is Jokes of the Day

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Uma foto publicada por Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) em Nov 11, 2014 at 8:14 PST

I think Miley Cyrus is pretty great. She’s just some spoiled rich kid, raised by a truck stop hooker, who may have been a cocktail waitress and a dad famous for having one of the trashiest all american songs in the history of shitty one hit wonder music…you know the kind of simple people, with no real morals or values, because my theory is that if you aren’t born rich, you’re garbage…..especially when you become rich and create a Miley you can sell to producers to make more rich…

Basically, what I am getting at, is that Miley has the opportunity to do whatever she wants, to perform however she wants, yet she chooses to be some crackhead, half naked, white girl into weirdo hip hop…and she owns it…

Her instagram…is just fucking next level strange…and kids everywhere are getting into this…and I can’t imagine it being a bad thing, it’s just the future…

Here are some selects of her “art work”…she’s crazy.

A photo posted by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on Nov 11, 2014 at 10:21pm PST

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2014

21

Nov

Edita Vilkeviciute Naked for Roberto Cavalli of the Day

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Edita Vilkeviciute is apparently naked for Roberto Cavalli…which is silly, because I am looking at the pictures and I don’t see anything naked, I feel so lied to by the fashion industry…it’s like that time I almost got tricked to buy a pair of jeans for 100 dollars, even though I knew that it cost them 6 dollars in a sweatshop to make….or even like that time I was invited to some Fashion party in New York, where a bunch of snobby people dressed like clowns acted too cool to even acknowledge anyone they didn’t know…because…fashion…so basically a load of fucking shit…

But luckily, we don’t need fashion nudity when it comes to EDITA…she does BEACH NUDITY HERSELF …and it’s far hotter to look at…

But here’s Cavalli’s newest campaign…because they aren’t paying me to promote it…and I like being charitable, even though I am the one who needs charity.

Posted in:Edita Vilkeviciute

2014

21

Nov

Kendall Jenner Says Fuck You of the Day

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A photo posted by Kendall Jenner (@kendalljenner) on Nov 11, 2014 at 12:37am PST

If you were wondering what Kendall Jenner was up to…and I know you were – becasue at least one of you – or statistically millions of you care about the Kardashians and all their various forms and versions – from the big monster one to the recently turned 18 year old one that will end up in Victoria’s Secret because the family apparently pushes product…

She says Fuck You…with her hands…the same hands you probably want deep inside you….because prostate massage..

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2014

21

Nov

At Home with Barbara Palvin of the Day

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I am not really a fan of Barbara Palvin, she doesn’t really do anything for me, I just assume she’s a big, awkward monster of a girl in person, and these pictures are just from her good angle, knowing that 1000 shots are taken each shoot, including this one, and there’s bound to be at least 10 pics they can use…for whatever it is…especially when she’s barely in these pics, totally clothed, and not being erotic at all…but she is in bed, which may make the voyeur in you want to jerk off on her while she’s sleeping…because that’s what you do…weirdo..I don’t even know if this is her home…we’ll just pretend…

Posted in:Barbara Palvin

2014

21

Nov

Dianna Agron Weird Tits of the Day

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Dianna Agron is from Glee, I am sure she’s done other things, because when you’re on Glee, you generally have a fan base and are marketable to casting directors who book you for other shit…but I am sure that doesn’t mean she’s got any talent, because talent is just a scam people pretend they have, and tell you they have, so that you believe they have it, thus making them and their team a lot of money…meanwhile the real talent is probably working in construction, or busking on the street, because they are tormented souls, while the ones in hollywood are just the commercialized ones, who are good enough, because they won’t throw their feces at you in a moment of genius….

But she does wear figure skating cleavage dresses…that may or may not show nipple…so talent or not…she matters…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Dianna Agron

2014

21

Nov

Rhian Sugden Glamour Model Tits of the Day

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Rhian Sugden is what I would call a low grade Glamour model, but I think the definition of Glamour model, is low grade…

That’s not to say they are shitty people, or that they have garbage morals or values, or that they are just exhibitionist trash, who would have otherwise been escorts or strippers, when by my standards they are just escorts and strippers, you know porn chicks who may not fuck on camera or in their Lad mags, but who do these lad mags to get higher paid “boyfriends’…it’s a a hustle that allows their big breasts, that would otherwise be attached cocktail waitresses to shine…there’s no way doing this pays that well…it’s more just PR for other sideline work, unless you’re Jordan Katie Price…but her testicles gave her business sense…that made this world work for her…while these other girls…like Rhian…are just doing it because it’s better than lap dances…

All this to say…Glamour models have great tits, and show their tits, so who cares.

Posted in:Rhian Sugden

2014

21

Nov

Aubrey O’Day is Still Trying of the DAy

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Aubrey O’Day may not be as fat as she was at her peak of being fat…she may even be fit now that she’s back into white dudes, since that whole being a hood bitch for hood rich dude…I mean other than Diddy, didn’t really work out for her, even though i pretty much did, considering she’s still in the band he created, she’s still got a fat ass, and she’s still posting half naked shit…in attempts to reclaim what you know she thinks is rightfully hers, and that is a combo of Nicki Minaj and Iggy Azalea’s audience…because she was up in that first…probably even thinks she paved the way for them…it is pretty much the story of all failures who never quite were. But she did do celebrity apprentice, that must count for something…it’s probably not what she bought her fake tits for…but they definitely came in handy for…

Who cares, I guess I do, because I am posting pics from her instagram…

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day