DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

17

Oct

Sylvie Meis Photoshoot of the Day

Sylvie-Meis was once Sylvie van der Vaart, but then she got a divorce.

I am sure I’ve written about her a bunch of times, she’s some Dutch “TV PERSONALITY” and “LINGERIE MODEL” who was actually just a WAG, or Soccer wife, that was probably low level modelling, you know handing out samples at some events, where she lured in her rich player husband. I can’t imagine the country being all that big, or the athletes all that unaccessible when the girls look like this…because even at 40, she’s pretty fucking substantial, and now, like so many other 40 year old divorcees on the divorcee tear, trying to piss off her ex husband during the divorce, especially when she finds out he’s got a younger girlfriend…or multiple younger girlfriends…and I guess this shoot is all part of that “I can still land a billionaire, because I am still hot, and I don’t need my ex husband, I just need the alimony” campaign…

She’s a survivor…first from Breast cancer and now from this…a titty survivor..I believe…

Posted in:Sylvie Meis

2014

17

Oct

Miss Ukraine Universe 2014 Tits for GQ Russia of the Day

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The difference about Eastern Europe and America is nicely laid out for us right here – with their Miss Ukraine 2014 – pageant winner – doing a GQ spread – showing tit…where as if this was America, the land of the fundamentalist Christian freaks, she’d be kicked off the tour for being a harlot that is not good for the youth to look up to…

Her name is Anna Andres and I think it’s safe to say that during this hard time in the Ukraine with people dying…she’s just brightening up spirits and plotting her escape and I know if I could afford her, I’d buy her

Posted in:Anna Andres

2014

17

Oct

Kerry Washington “No Make-Up” Tits of the Day

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Kerry Washington didn’t wear make-up for this shoot for whatever magazine this is…but she did show off her tits so that you could really not fixate on the fact that she wasn’t wearing make-up – not to mention I have a hard time believing that she wasn’t wearing make-up – or at least shot in some soft light or proper lighting these pros know all about – or more likely that she wasn’t photoshopped to look a little less tired while remaining tired tired looking enough to claim she’s not wearing make up…

I mean there are giant letters on her fucking head…it’s safe to say this has run through some image software…unless they tape that to her shit before shooting…and I guess none of that matters when showing cleavage…

The good thing in all this is how insecure it will make all the make-up free women who don’t look anything like this without make-up…I like when the media does this unrealistic expectations thing…

Posted in:Kerry Washington

2014

17

Oct

Ashley Greene is Not Hot for Women’s Health of the Day

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Ashley Greene is the fucking worst. I’ve heard all kinds of horror stories about this girl and her Florida trash moved to LA positioning. I don’t really care about how she got onto Twilight or who she’s fucked along the way, I just find it annoying that after publicly breaking up relationships like some young harlot, she turned to the Jonas Brothers who at the time were pretending they were virgins, and started campaigning for “Promise Rings” and virginity…all while not being that hot, or even believable, cuz anyone with a brain would have seen right through her and noticed the cum dripping down her leg from earlier that day..

The good news is that Fame is fleeting, and this bitch isn’t talent and doesn’t matter. She just barely knows how to strategically move and this Women’s Health video is shit…but you’ll probably like it because Twilight changed you fucking life, especially when you bought into her virginity – seeing as you were/are a virgin too….

Posted in:Ashley Greene

2014

17

Oct

Mara Teigen in Cheeki for Galore of the Day

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My friends at GALORE who don’t invite me to their exclusive star-studded parties – because I am a liability – but do let me post pictures I steal from their website without sending me lawyers letters – like so many other magazines who don’t appreciate my silly, drunken banter – put out these pics of instagram model Mara Teigen, who for some reason is ridiculously massive, even considered famous thanks to social media, though you’ve probably never heard of her, but who I always just assumed was the hotter sister of pug-faced Chrissy Teigen…who isn’t actually her sister..rocking her awesome ass in her Cheeki panties and I’m not mad at it…if anything I want to find the dirty panties on ebay where I would assume she’s selling them to subsidize her income, you know because being an instagram model isn’t ridiculously lucrative….

Posted in:Mara Teigen

2014

17

Oct

Missy Rayder Tits for Vogue Ukraine of the Day

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Missy Rayder is some 40 year old model who was probably a lot more relevant when she was 18…and working for every major company..it was the 90s…pre internet which means she virtually barely exists now…but if you are old as fuck – you may have masturbated to her in some fashion magazine showing tits before…and now she’s letting you masturbate to her showing tits now…..

She is the younger sister of Franke Rayder, who was an SI model…in like 1992.

I used to be friends with their other sister, who wasn’t a model, but she developed a drug addiction and disappeared…or something equally typical…the sister I was friends with never sent me nudes…or maybe she did…I don’t remember but I do know that all I see when I look at these pics is the countless dudes in 90s bands who have probably cum all over these tits…you know when she was a young it girl…I’m thinking at least

Posted in:Missy Rayder

2014

17

Oct

Giedre Dukauskaite for H&M Lingerie of the Day

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I used to know a Lithuanian plumber, we’d drink together.

He used to tell me that the girls back in Lithuania were incredible and he didn’t understand how he ended up marrying the fattest, hairiest of the bunch. One of those “I’m a fucking loser because everyday I go back to the motherland I am a fucking hero to babes all because of my Canadian Passport, but here I am stuck with this pile of shit”…something I can relate to….but he’d buy these young girls, sometimes for 20 dollars a night anyway…just to taste what he could have had, because apparently, for 20 dollars Lituanians will let you taste anything…something good to know before you build a prison for yourself..

That said this Giedre Dukauskaite, whatever the fuck kind of name is that, is one who got away, you know the Eastern European who models instead of being human trafficked because she was lucky enough to be tall…and now she’s probably living in NYC, booking 30k-100k campaigns, and looking’ hot doing it…

Even when catalog bikini and lingerie pics are boring as fuck.

So Giedre Dukauskaite, and her stupid name she should have stage named…is amazing…and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Giedre Dukauskaite

2014

17

Oct

Arianny Celeste for Gregorio Photo of the Day

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I don’t know if this is Arianny Celeste of UFC fame, or if this is some botox, implant, lip injection, hooker from Los Angeles looking for a daddy to buy her cheesy designer clothes – living the stripper dreams…because all these cheesy fake tit girls look the fucking same.

She’s old, she’s weathered despite the attempts to fill and work out through it…Her ass looks like shit…but you don’t care – you just need her in the UFC ring to justify the boner you have from watching naked men roll around with each other in some homo death match…

These pics are shot by the illustrious Gregorio Photo

Posted in:Arianny Celeste

2014

17

Oct

Man Gets Hard On at Worst Time and Other Videos of the Day

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Fight Between Teacher a Student

Cop Shoots and Killed Hammer Weilding Hobo in Montreal

Man Sleeping on Bus…

Dogs Caught Humping…

Van Slams Little Girl…

The Backflip Kid…

Kiss of the Day

Posted in:Videos

2014

17

Oct

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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For every 20 or so failed tinder romances – like this:

Is a girl willing to get naked, spread her vagina, and even insert random household objects in her for me, just becausee I ask..

No man should have this much power. I’d like to thank the internet, the access and exposure to porn, and my romantic ways for this amazing opportunity to make masturbation so interactive…

Here ware some morning links…good morning…

13 Weird as Fuck Gravestones
GO

How Fast Food Burgers Age
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The Butt Plug of Christmas in Paris – Probably Provided by Kim Kardashian
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This is How Joan Rivers Dies…
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Charlie Sheen is Single…but There Will Always Be Hookers…and More Hookers…
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Cynthia Escobar is Some Random Trick in a Bikini
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I want Genevieve Morton in My Mouth
GO

Jude Law is Going to be a Father for the Fifth Time – He’s like a Black Guy
GO

How To Charge Your Phone with a 9 Volt Battery
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War Machine Tried to Kill Himself in Jail
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Your Brain on MDMA
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Signs that Don’t Understand Quotations
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The Otter Who Only Eats Sushi
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Selena Gomez Hates Old People!
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Bitches Trying to be the Next Princess
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People WHo are “SOOOOO LATE but still Tweeting
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WATCH THEM BABES BE BAD GIRLS ON CAM GIRLS
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS