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2013

21

Mar

Amanda Bynes Turns Me On of the Day

Amanda Bynes is amazing. Possibly the future. If she lives. The kind of child star I am into. You know rob them of their childhood, forget they exist, leave them confused and wondering what the fuck it all means, only to have mini breakdowns, cries for attention, acting all nuts, with face piercings and total identity crisis, making her a candidate for a lot of entertaining things in the near future, unless she dies. In which case, at least we’ll always have “She’s the Man” to remember her legacy.

Here’s an amazing tweet she made – I guess she’s a Drake fan…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF HER
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Posted in:Amanda Bynes

2013

21

Mar

Ellie Goulding in a Bikini by the Pool in Miami of the Day

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I’ve posted Ellie Goulding in her bikini before, and it was uneventful last time, and just as uneventful this time.

Maybe it is cuz I am not her fan and I don’t know who she is. Maybe it is cuz I don’t find her hipster ass hanging out of her jean shorts hot, even though tI think I do, or maybe it is that some things just don’t change…

But I am posting it anyway cuz I have nothing better going on….and really it is not all that bad.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Ellie Goulding

2013

21

Mar

Sasha Cohen Does Some Bikini Gymnastics of the Day

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Sasha Cohen is some Olympic figure skater who loves being in her bikini. This time she’s spiced it up with some YOGA poses in her bikini. Which is convenient, cuz I’ve been masturbating to Yoga girls on Instagram for the last month. It is my new hardcore porn, because there’s something nice about a contained body in spandex doing poses that are unnatural but amazing…especially when fantasizing about fucking them in that pose…

So like this was figure skating on a Sunday when hungover, with all the panty flashing, camel toe and athleiticism, and I’d be willing to jerk off to it…fit, tight, bendy….awesome.

Time to join the Yoga for the health benefits, but more importantly to stare at farting, tight asses.

Posted in:Sasha Cohen

2013

21

Mar

Sarah Hyland Rocks a Push-Up Bra of the Day

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Sarah Hyland is the 10 year old looking chick, who is actually over 18 from Modern Family and she is showing off the life lessons she has learned from Sofia Vergara, that include but aren’t limited to “TITS”.

So she’s strapped herself into a push up bra for some publicity event and her cleavage is up to her fucking neck….and I like it.

It reminds me of a Junior High dance, thanks to the Victoria’s Secret epidemic, where tweens everywhere want sheer thongs. I saw it on the news.

Posted in:Sarah Hyland

2013

21

Mar

Amanada Seyfried for Tatler Russia of the Day

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I thought Tatler was a hardcore porn magazine, but it turns out I was wrong. It happens sometimes. Especially when it comes to porn magazines, since the last time I jerked off to one was 1996, in a magical era before the internet….

So I was pretty excited to see Amanda Seyfried showing the pic, I figured when you’re not nominated for an Oscar that Anne Hathaway won for being in the same movie with a less important role, you step up, break down, go to the extreme.

But it turns out that Seyfried remains boring as fuck, while still hot as fuck, in a career that I appreciate cuz she gets naked and fucks, when not doing Disney Movies. She’s everything Lohan was but better. That’s probably why Lohan hates her.

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried

2013

21

Mar

Jonas Brother Has a Sex Tape with Blanda Eggenschwiler of the Day

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Joe Jonas has a sex tape with Blanda Eggenschwiler…his girlfriend at least according to This Site ….

I bet on Kentucky derby that it’s just typical behavior for a overpaid manufactured lie. I remember when those 3 little queers pretended to be virgins, with purity rings, to sell records and market themselves as these wholesome people so Christian parents can buy their records.

It was pretty obvious that prior to this sex tape, they were using sex tapes on each other, while high on poppers back stage before their shows….and after their shows…with groupies….

The sex tape was made earlier this month in a room at Park Tower, a hotel in Buenos Aries, Argentina. Blanda, who describes herself as model from Switzerland, is traveling with the Jonas Brothers while they are on tour in South America.

At the beginning of the video, Joe and Blanda are sitting on the bed together. They are both drinking and smoking pot, and Blanda explains to Joe what she is going to do to him in detail.

They proceed to engage in multiple sex acts utilizing a variety of sex toys, including a large dildo, a gag ball, and a slapper paddle. Joe participates willingly, but seems less sure of how to use the sex toys, as well as how they will be used on him. He does not enjoy being paddled. At one point he has had enough and cries “Owww! Don’t do that anymore!” Blanda is the more dominant one in the video. At one point she inserts the dildo inside of herself, orders Joe to “lick my p**** juice off of it,” and he complies.

The story may be a lie, but I’m posting it, cuz I want to see it. Not because I’ve always had a thing for Jonas Brothers, but because I have a thing for Sex Tapes.

I am also in Blanda Eggenschwiler climbing the ladder with her vagina…let’s hope this is real deal. I’m ready for it.

Here are some pics stolen from her instagram – she’s hot and I want to watch her get her fuck on.

Posted in:Blanda Eggenschwiler|Joe Jonas

2013

21

Mar

Girls Aloud Final Performance of the Day

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Girls Alound have broken up….

I am going to assume no one really gives a fuck. I mean they were a one hit wonder band in the UK from a decade ago that I am going to guess very few people have actually heard.

The only real reason we know who they are is because Cheryl Cole, the hot as fuck one, the babe with prison tats, pulled a Beyonce.

She married a famous footballer and looked good while doing it, getting her in the tabloids and on some Simon Cowell tv shows, because they vacation in Barbados together.

They are old, tired, boring, but I’ll predict they’ll be back, one day in the future, when a group of Japanese kids find one of their old albums and re-invent them like they were Abba or the Beegees.

Bitches like this do anything for money. I mean, they are all essentially strippers who lucked out to begins with.

That said, if you’re not too sad to click this link… HERE ARE PICS OF THEIR LAST PERFORMANCE

I’d say it was the end of an era, but it’s really not. This break-up will have zero effect on the music or entertainment scene in any fucking way.

So long friends, may your journey be filled with hooking, in some capacity or another.

Posted in:Cheryl Cole|Girls Aloud

2013

21

Mar

NFL Cheerleader Accused of Grabbing 12 Year Old’s Penis of the Day

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Best news story ever…or at least for today:

A former NFL cheerleader has been charged with aggravated sexual battery after allegedly grabbing a 12-year-old boy’s penis outside his pants … and attempting to perform oral sex on him.

42-year-old Elizabeth Garner — who cheered for the Tennessee Titans until 2009 — was also charged with solicitation of a minor for rape of a child.

According to law enforcement, Garner — who is married — is accused of following the 12-year-old to the bathroom during a party last month hosted by the boy’s mother, grabbing his penis over his shorts … and attempting to remove them in order to perform oral sex on him.

The boy escaped, told his mother what happened … and the mother then informed authorities. According to police, the boy said Garner asked if he’d ever been with a woman.

During a police interview, cops claim Garner willingly admitted she approached the boy … but said she was drunk and had confused him with an (adult) man at the party. (We’ll see how that defense pans out.)

I wish shit like this happened when I was 12, but I was always the kid no one wanted to molest.

I appreciate her excuse “I was drunK”….which legally doesn’t really hold much of a defense when in court and being charged for sex crimes, like meeting a 17 year old off the internet in Florida one night after she seduced you on chat for the authorities…you know telling you what you want to hear….entrapment.

I also like “I thought it was an adult” cuz 12 year olds and 40 year old men have so much in common in terms of their build now with all the hormones in the food. I mean at the point between tapping him on the shoulder and asking him if he had been with other women before trying to suck him off, you’d think she’d realize he was 12.

Who are we to judge, maybe they do things different in pre-Teennesee.

More importantly, she’s a fucking ex NFL cheerleader, who looks like a hooker, it is not like she’s some top grade morally sound citizen….

Still a good story for her to tell her grandkids about one day.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2013

21

Mar

Candice Swanepoel for Vogue Spain of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel…..I mean…she’s fuckin aswesome. She’s got this fucking body that blows my fucking mind. Thin, fit and despite being statistically at risk for HIV thanks to South Africa statistics, I want to taste her without a condom, not that I’d ever use a condom, that shit just gets in the way of all the gynecological exams I give with my penis…

Either way, she’s showing off her body, pretty clothed, but still looking good for Vogue Spain,

To See The Video That I Couldn’t Figure Out How To Embed
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Here are some shitty screen caps and the actual pics all mixed together

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

21

Mar

Irina Shayk’s Awesome Natural Beauty Pic of the Day

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I posted some lubed up EMMA WATSON PICS for the same book, campaign, or whatever the fuck this Natural Beauty thing. If you click on that post, you can learn what it is all about, but I’m more interested in seeing Irina Shayk posing for it, because she’s hot, even if I am sure she’s not a natural beauty and has some work done on her quest to get to this level….but I’ll take it, cuz she’s awesome.

Posted in:Irina Shayk