2013
18
Feb
This is s fucking fit body…and as much as I generally think of fit girls as dudes….cuz I like my women to have no real muscle mass or fat….you know…starvation body….I fully appreciate the work that she’s put into this machine…seriously, she’s fucking ripped and for some reason that I call taking care of herself…I find it fucking sexy….but that’s probably cuz I married a fat pile of shit.
Posted in:Shawn Johnson
2013
18
Feb
My ongoing Emily Osment joke is that she is Haley Joel Osment….and it never gets old…if anything, the more I say it, the more real it feels….now a little backstory for those of you who don’t understand….Haley Joel Osment was the Jennifer Lawrence of his time, Oscar nominated at 8, cast in every movie that needed a kid, or that was made by Steven Spielberg….but then he hit puberty….and no one wanted to touch him….cuz puberty made him fucking awkward and the only way to get that taste of fame that he was so addicted to….was to repackage himself as a chick….and thus the transformation began….and today it brings us to the beach in her bikini….
I could be wrong about my theory…it happens…but I think it makes her more interesting and that if anything she should hire me to be her publicist…I do magical things with lies….
Posted in:Emily Osment
2013
18
Feb
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Hayden Panettiere is in the March issue of Nylon magazine….a magazine that was once for hipsters but that is now for everyone….the Seventeen magazine of this generation….and I am just bummed that she didn’t take full advantage of her fake tits and expose them to the world….and take ownership of them…but I guess what it comes down to is that she’s trying to be subtle about it…you know slowly introduce them so that people always wonder if they are fakers or just her growing into her shoulders….you know cuz fake tits, if you don’t want the world to know you have fake tits, are take work and time to coverup….here are the boring pics…
Posted in:Hayden Panettiere
2013
18
Feb
Joanna Krupa is some hot bodied gutter bullshit from the early 2000s who has been trying so hard to make it since the early 2000s because I guess she knew she was some hot bodied bullshit then…and watching her struggle was entertaining…she did every low budget photoshoot in fucking town…just hoping to get a fan base with those implants she spent 3 summers washing cars to get….before becoming internationally famous on Dancing with the Stars when she wasn’t even a star, which led to Real Housewives of Miami….you know just sucking from the bottom….and it finally paid off, even most people would find her career a joke, she feels like she’s finally made it…and at a good time cuz she must be 40 by now….
So here she is being an hooker/stripper/pornstar who never was for Esquire…what a waste….but at least she looks good….
Posted in:Joanna Krupa
2013
18
Feb
I have never heard of Blush Lingerie, but in my defense I don’t really give a fuck about lingerie brand names, I am just more into staring at the girls wearing it, and even if that lingerie is some rash and yeast infection forming quality, I am still eager to stare at the girl in it, so brands don’t matter…the only thing good about them is that they all do the same thing to get the same exposure and that’s hot photoshoots with babes….which are awesome..
This shoot was done by Max Abadian, who is a montreal based photographer, leading me to think that Olga Maliouk, despite her mail order bride name, may be a montreal based model, making me wonder why I am sitting on my soiled couch and not walking the streets screaming her name…hoping to find her or at least where she lives so that I can go through her garbage or steal her dirty laundry to feel close to her….
Posted in:Olga Maliouk
2013
18
Feb
I Love Kate Moss….whether it is cuz she was hated for being skinny for so many years….or because despite being a 45 year old mom, she lives this rockstar life, filled with cocaine that she was caught doing on video….and various men, most of whom were questionable rockstars, you know who shared needles and fucked groupies without condoms while not showering for weeks at a time, that definitely came inside her, making her vagina a petri dish of all things glamorous, like herpes and hepatitis and even HIV…..but she carries it so well, and is so graceful about it….and looks amazing while doing it…..making her dirty panties a pair I’d love to sniff and even wear as a gas mask when the apocalypse finally happens…her scents will keep me alert and save me…..
Posted in:Kate Moss
2013
18
Feb
The smartest thing Skullcandy did for their brand was lock Kate Upton into a contract, because a few weeks ago, I went through their youtube channel and every other video they did, I’m talking with known people, got all of 10,000 views, while this pig drives millions….
Tits get hits and she’s got a lot of tit…so it just makes sense that people watch….even if the whole thing is a pile of talentless, unfunny shit, that doesn’t make sense which is appropriate cuz Kate Upton’s fame doesn’t make sense……her body is sloppy, she’s built like she’s 40 and at 19, you know that’s gonna end real fucking bad….but in this window of opportunity, you know her 5 minutes, everyone’s celebrating…..
What a disaster….
Posted in:Kate Upton
2013
18
Feb
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Some of these titty models for fashion include Flo Dron, Weronika Hetnar & Zlata Mangafic….all of these titty models for fashion are models I have never heard of, which is kinda exciting because you know that out there lies a pile of women just eager to be on camera….so eager that they’ll let me take pics of them topless for the exposure this site can give them on my fucking Motorola Razr, cuz I’ll pretend that shit is trendy, high concept and art….and they will believe it cuz there is nothing more that they want that more twitter followers…living a dream I’m willing to exploit and apparently so is Dazed & Confused magazine….cuz new talent come topless and inexpensive….
Posted in:NSFW|Weronika Hetnar|Zlata Mangafic
2013
18
Feb
So the next generation of poptarts older dudes with kids in this demographic lust after because it is the only show they are allowed to watch….making little sex pots out of otherwise innocent, annoying, teen girls just trying to live the Disney child star dream….are Arinana Grande and Jeanette McCurdy…..who was lovely enough to follow me on twitter this weekend cuz she knows we have a magical connection….just not one as great as she has with Ariana Grande…as they mount each other fully clothed…in what I think at least 100 people have masturbated to already…..that I don’t find all that erotic…cuz my erotic threshold is far more depraved and twisted….but then again….maybe jerking off to two innocent girls just fooling around fully clothed, not trying to be erotic, is twisted ina and of itself…you know like those dude who expose themselves to girls on their way to work or school, like shit dude this is not a porno this is just me going to school…what went wrong in your life to make that porno to you…kinda thing…..but here’s the pic anyway…I’ll let you be in charge of what you do with it….I’m just the delivery man.
Posted in:Ariana Grande|Jeanette McCurdy
2013
18
Feb
Behati Prinsloo is in some Victoria’s Secret Pics I’ve Probably Already Posted Cuz Victoria’s Secret pics are all the Same….
Here’s the 2013 SWIM promo video with some shitty as fuck Bieber music…..that luckily when can mute…cuz I’m not at the stage of creepy pervert who needs Bieber playing when sneaking into bedrooms at night….if anything that tween shit…annoys me…
Posted in:Behati Prinsloo
