I always knew…from the first time I heard about this sweatshop made low cost clothing…that H&M were secretly smut peddlers…sure their ad agency has ignored my emails the last 5 years….not even having the decency to reject me….because they think I’m too vulgar or smutty…or more importantly cuz they don’t realize the drunkenstepfather as a life philosophy is about not giving a fuck, saying inappropriate things, but for some reason, they think it is on some child molesting kick…because I guess that’s all they know from first hand experience with their stepfather who drank too much…all these corporations are fucking idiots….but at least their creative direction weren’t idiots in casting Italian Bianca Balti…cuz unlike most Bianca’s I know…she’s not a fat black stripper lookin for 10 dollars a song…but instead some kind of goddess I want drink life’s juices from every one of her orifices….I’m classy like that…..
One of my favorite videos of Karolina Kurkova…one I liked so much I uploaded it to youtube back in 2008…
…..a year her career ballooned and Victoria’s Secret said “bitch, stop eating or you’re fired”….and to solidify that seriousness in their tone…they aired her not fitting into her costume a few weeks after fitting for it…cuz she just kept getting fat….something she blamed on hormones and has since bounced back from like a good girl….as seen in these March pics from Marie Claire….and I guesss what it comes down to is that it is never too late to turn around your fat ness…
As much as I hate Emmy Rossum…I watched this episode of Shameless the other day, not because I like TV shows…or because I support anything in hollywood, but I will say it was refreshing to see a show mock Downs Syndrome, cover topics like tranny children, meth addiction deaths, sucking off the boss and fucking dudes with strap ons….in what was like one big mishmash of inappropriate sleaze….that almost reminded me of my life…a life that I thought would never get on TV….because it was too vulgar….but I guess these hollywood types just do it better…..
The Harlem Shake videos are taking over the internet…and since I am on the internet all day…I figured I’d compile the top 7 or 8 Harlem Shake videos featuring bikinis….that I like to also call the first 7 or 8 Harlem Shake videos with bikinis I could find….
7 – The Girls Gone Wild Hotel Party
GirlsGoneWild is still here….and they are doing hotel parties a little different than their infomercial past….they are doing it with the harlem shake….
6 – The Czech Fitness Girl….
I mean this stripper who gives fitness tips with her stripper body that is no longer stripping because it found youtube…can Harlem Shake too….
5- The College Coeds-
This reminds me of a group of party girl college kids…and I like it…because I never leave the house or go to college parties…but should…it’s all about Yellow bikini in the back.
4- The Sweatshop
This reminds me of some asian factory or sweatshop where people are exploited for 2 dollars an hour or less to make you your designer clothes version…..you know the factory foreman gets all the blowjobs
3- The Photoshoot
Here’s a bunch of Playboy girls on set doing the harlem shake….you know when not exploiting their bodies for money and low level fame….
2- The hipster Apartment
I don’t know if this is really a hipster apartment, but it is a shitty fucking apartment….making me wonder why girls would even be hanging with these dudes..but then I am reminded…it’s cool to be poor.
1- The Boat Crash
I am just a sick fuck and this boat accident footage always makes me laugh…and always wins in top 10 video lists…cuz it is so ridiculous….I like the mask / helmet the edited on her…amazing
Ultimate Numnber 1 – Girl Who Thinks She’s a Cat of the DAy
Here’s a girl in her bikini screaming “Drew” on repeat….and I think this video is the best thing to happen…..especially when she stops screaming her friends name…and starts singing about being tall and skinny and her waist and titties…..all out of breath before doing the Harlem Shake.
It is very fucking rare that I see a photoshoot that gets me fucking excited, I’ve been in the game a long time, and I am totally desensitized…my threshold of pleasure is a lot darker…and in order for me to be like “WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS AMAZING” as someone who has no soul, emotions and who never gets impressed or excited…but this is fashion porn…which is my favorite kind of porn…and it’s erotic as shit…like a vintage playboy….and tht’s something I’d always take over throat fucking porn….truth..
This Doutzen Kroes, despite her being married and having a kid, something we frown upon here at Stepfather, because having kids is disgusting on so many levels, and even being an half assed “not your real dad”…is bad enough….and that’s just on an emotional level and not on a vaginal level….and she’s looking like a lot of half naked fun…I am sure her black DJ boyfriend…loves makin’ this white girl twerk in all kinds of hip hop music video ways….and as gross as some of you racists find it…I personally like a big girl who can fit big things…like forearms inside her….that’s why one of my favorite role playing games is “Reverse” birth….
I find this girl erotic….or at least this photoshoot…not because it’s got spread pussy or even titties for fashion…but because it looks like an instagram filter…and I guess thanks to my INSTAGRAM ADDICTION ….you know…it’s the place I find girls to fuck and jerk off to girls I want to fuck….my brain recognizes grainy, 70s porn filters, as boner time….
My good friend over at some site that I cannot mention because it will lose his cool man credibility wrote me some hate mail…telling me to stop with the victoria’s secret and SI models…and focus on the real models out there…the Glamour Models…cuz they are the only ones who count…and in doing what I am told…here’s some Glamour Model…also known as a stripper who gave a lap dance to the right guy….cuz he worked at NUTS UK and his job is to find big tits willing to be exposed….her name is Kheena….and I guess that’s all the evidence we need of her seedy past….and here are her weird, yet big tits and sloppy body…I can see her cellulite on her belly…..cuz that’s usually what comes with big tits…in photoshoot…
This reminds me of those college girls from when I used to go to college parties…who would get “so drunk”….that they’d have to make out with each other aggressively….all because they loved the guys cheering them on and celebrating the idea that girls kiss each other…in a time when lesbians and gays were not mainstream or everywhere or trendy…but instead some forbidden thing that happened at slumber parties that we weren’t invited to….and I guess it makes sense that Sophie Turner would be doing that hustle for social media…since she is her her 30s and totally out of touch….but I’ll still post it…
Here is Miley acting all bratty and hollywood at the airport…..where she’s nice to her fans….as they talk nonsense with her…but where she ignores the paparazzi…and when they ask if she’s picked out a dress for her fake wedding…she says “ughhh fucking hell”….cuz I guess life’s hard being famous and a millionaire and keeping up the lie that is her fake marriage for the fans….because the whole lesbian porn addict slut is a bad look….and all I know is that if you ignore the sounds she makes…and her face…she’s lovely….and tight bodied…thank you Disney for your hormone therapy / Peter Pan treatment….
Here’s one of her twitter pics….cuz I like looking at her
