DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

05

Feb

Daisy Lowe for Yo Dona Spain of the Day

I am down with Gwen Stefani’s unwanted stepdaughter….because she only found out she was Gavin Rossdale’s daughter when she was 14….she thought she was her mom’s husbands kid…because that’s normally how this whole having babies thing works…but a paternity test proved otherwise…that mom was a slut groupie who let some Gavin Rossdale tranny fucker semen inside her….

Regardless of who her father is, or whether that caused a RIFF in the Rossdale/Stefani marriage, and I hope it did….she’s fucking hot and seems like a lot of fun…more importantly I like to stare at her naked/half naked modeling pics…like her shoot with PLayboy…and like these ones for Yo Dona….some magazine out of Spain…

She’s good.

Posted in:Daisy Lowe

2013

05

Feb

Jennifer Lawrence Gives Sex Eyes at Some Academy Award Lunch of the Day

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I can’t figure out if I find Jennifer Lawrence hot or not…her body is pretty awkward….her fame is pretty annoying…but then again I didn’t see Silver Lining Playbook yet…so maybe I haven’t really given her a chance to grow on me….but I will say that her pics at this Academy Award lunch…look more like she’s at the AVNs….all dead eyes, big lipped, hair in her face….on some porn kick not some hollywood kick….reminding us how good things would be if she took that fork in the being hollywood road we call fucking on camera….

I am always down for sex eyes….whether I like Jennifer Lawrence or not…it doesn’t matter.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence

2013

05

Feb

Georgia May Jagger for Hudson Jeans of the Day

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Sometimes I wonder if wanting Georgia May Jagger’s lips on my dick is in some subconscious way wanting Mick Jagger’s lips on my dick…cuz she clearly inherited them from her dad…and when I watch his flamboyant, feminine performances on stage, cuz I am a fan of the Stones, I never think to myself, damn he’s got some great Dick Sucking Lips…but whenever I see one of his dozen of children, mainly this one right here, I’m like damn she’s got her dad’s lips and they look like they’d be some great dick sucking lips…pretty much confusing me….but not enough to remember…she’s got a vagina and whether she got that from her dad or not…it don’t matter cuz it’s hers….I am a fan…

Posted in:Georgia May Jagger

2013

05

Feb

Tallulah Morton and Janell Shirtcliff for Urban Outfitters of the Day

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I’ve never heard of these Urban Outfitter models wearing their bikini line for this upcoming summer in these pics…and I’m not gonna bother looking them up…cuz firstly Urban Outfitters is some lame as fuck shit….it’s the hipster world gone mainstream….tricking all these mainstream idiots to dress hipster…and although that may be good for VANS shoe sales…it’s kinda boring to me…especially when their shoots are so fucking corporate and dull….and obvious…like a bad instagram album….just milking the trends….as hard as they can for 14 year old idiots who don’t know any better….but they do have girls in bikinis…so I’ll give em that…cuz really that’s all any campaign needs to be relevant…even if everything they do is 10 steps behind…..

Posted in:Janell Shirtcliff|Tallulah Morton

2013

05

Feb

Keira Knightley Skinny Back for the March Marie Claire of the DAy

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I saw a Keira Knightley for the first time this past weekend and I really appreciated the fact that she’s not fat…because so many people are fat these days and it is just disgusting…from my wife…to the girl working the restaurant I order my pizza at….to the fucking Wal mart check out girl…I just can’t escape this obesity shit…so seeing a body the way I like a body to be….all bones exposed like she doesn’t eat..inspires me and brings me hope for a better tomorrow…that no matter what happens to the rest of the world…there will always be the 1 percent that look hungry even if they aren’t thanks to good genes…

I am a fan….and any chance I get to stare at her back….I get excited….it is porn to me.

Posted in:Keira Knightley

2013

05

Feb

Bregje Heinen in her Bathing Suit for Some Campaign of the Day

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Bregje is a dutch name that sounds like you’re throwing up…so it doesn’t work on fat chicks or anyone who isn’t a model…but luckily for Bregje Heinen she is a 19 year old model..and her name sounds as glorious as can be as she poses in bikinis like it was 2011 and she was doing the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show…..that I guess she didn’t do all that good of a job on because she’s no longer part of that criminal organization but she’s been able to leverage it to get more half naked work…like she’s doing here for some company….and the funny thing about these bikini models I always write about is that they are so good in pictures…but I know…that if I was next to them in person…dealing with their 5 foot 11 bodies next to my 5 foot 6…I would feel a little weirded out…but since I don’t leave my house at these pics are all I have…it works for me….

Posted in:Bregje Heinen

2013

05

Feb

Barbara Palvin is Boring in the March Glamour UK of the Day

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Barbara Palvin is on the Victoria’s Secret major push…you know they cast her last year and all of a sudden a day doesn’t go by without seeing pics of her…they have her in the grind….cuz the more exposure she gets…the more celebrity she gets….the more longevity she gets…and the more likely she’ll be the rookie who takes over the glory of the Veteran….as all the other Victoria’s Secret girls are pushing 30….and it will be time for them to follow Heidi Klum into old lady obscurity…giving this string a chance for the glory…it’s the circle of Victoria’s Secret life…and as long as there is pussy being born…they’ll be ready for it….

That said, they should try to get some better pics of her body when they get her in magazines…I mean I don’t need to see her hair and face…I want ass and titties people….

TO SEE DIANE KRUGER AND LENA LOMKOVA IN THE SAME MAGAZINE
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Barbara Palvin

2013

05

Feb

Kim Kardashian’s Pregnant Ass is Hysterical of the Day

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Kim Kardashian was a fat chick who carried her fat in her ass and tits….like she belonged in some African tribe….and not just because she loved getting fucked by black guys…so much she put out the video….but because that’s just how she was fucking built…

It was an ass that was already a comedy….or a novelty…like the clown car of asses….but now that she’s pregnant that awkward lookin like she was wearing a diaper in her pants…has become lookin’ like she’s wearing 5 diapers all full of shit….and for all we know she is….

The fact that she’s reproducing…is a fucking tragedy….but the fact that we’ve allowed her to get this famous…all cuz of a rich dad and a sex tape…is a bigger fucking tragedy….she’s the worst and now…so is her obesity….explained by pregnancy…unfortuntely

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2013

05

Feb

Chanelle Hayes and Rosie Jones Hot for NUTS of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Damn….NUTS UK is officially a softcore porn magazien…all it took was one lick from one chick to a topless to cross that invisible line of titty men’s mag to full on smut…and I love it…

If this was the 60s, this shit would be too hardcore for the newstands, no one would advertise on it, they’d go bankrupt with no place to go….but today…we’re all a bunch of perverts exposed to this greatness and a little titty sucking won’t stop Mercedes for getting on board with them….but from some reason…they won’t get on board with me…and call me a porn site…when all I do is post their ad supported smut…in what makes life almost unfair…but not that unfair cuz I get to stare at pics like this….

Posted in:Chanelle Hayes|NSFW|Rosie Jones

2013

05

Feb

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Well Built stepSHIRTS visit DrunkenSweatshop and follow us on INSTAGRAM for TITS!!!

The good news is….I like dry handjobs. The friction makes me feel….

Here are some morning links….

HY IS EVERYTHING FROM JAPAN AWESOME?! – VIDEO
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How About a Sexy Cosplay Gallery?
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And the Award for WORST Superbowl Commerical Goes To…. – VIDEO
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The Most Discipined Dogs Ever? Possibly – VIDEO
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Vintage Lindsay Lohan Quotes Bring the LOLs
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Black People Made Justin Bieber Drink Sizzurp!
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Penelope Cruz is Pregant So Letès Look at Photos of Her Before That Whole Thing Kicks In
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Rides Girl: Lupe Maciel
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Free Cam Shows Are Sexy and I Know You Love Them
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Leslie is a Squirter (NSFW)
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Russian Model Katsia Zingarevich Has Some Smoking New Lingerie Photos
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Ahhhhhhhh Jordan Carver (NSFW)
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Will Ferrll Anything Makes for a Good Morning (NSFW)
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Posted in:stepLINKS