Christina Milian was at the gym working out…..and snapped off an instagram pic that would have been way more effective if it was shot in the lockerroom while taking a shower…or stretching…or all sweaty in spandex doing squats..all crotch soaked with vagina definition….but instead we get this….but she still inspires all you fat moms out there to get off your fat ases cuz all it takes is a little work to get your twerk…someone like me would be willing to get down to your instagram poics….which is something I know all of you moms dream of….I make marriages bearable….
Gabrielle Union is rocking a pretty amazing dress..which is nice to see…because as a rape survivor, you’d think she’s avoid putting on outfits to tempt the sick fucks who do that whole rape thing, but they say rape has got nothing to do with suggestive outfits….and I guess she wasn’t a freak about the whole being raped thing…because otherwise she’d be the Jodie Foster/Rosie O’Donnell hustle….fearing the penis….and not the model who dates celebrities….and athletes who you may or may not know from such hits as Bring it On and Deliver Us from Eva….
She’s 40, she’s showing off tit, I’m into it, that’s all…
Photographer Jonathan Leder has tempted the girl I love with all my heart even though we’ve never met…but who I know is my soul mate…cuz why else would I want to be inside her so bad……to model nude…and normally I’d be mad about a homie doing that to me…you know getting the one girl who has made me believe in the institution of marriage and lifelong commitment…but the truth is that I need him to take pics like this…otherwise I don’t get to see her naked…you know since we’ve never met….
She’s the future…and already getting naked…I expect great things for her…especially since she’s young and lovely….with one of the best bodies in history….but unfortunatley for her…those great things involve raising my children….
Here’s a really hysterical Police Chase video…that I had no choice but to post…because it’s just so random and crazy….spoiler alert…the car drives by the dude recording its house….which I guess is a funny coincidence…if you believe in coincidences…which I don’t…I think everything is set up and planned by government officials…like we live on the Truman Show.
Complex is releasing 7 different covers for the Feb/March issue….of Rihanna….
Some may call that overkill, because what magazine needs 7 covers in one issue…I mean how can the magazine racks support that….while others may be asking…”do magazine rackes still exist”….I guess when they are as awesome as Complex they do…and here they are showing us what makes a magazine a fucking magazine…but I could just be overly excited cuz I can see her nipples…but I may just think she’s lovely cuz she’s sympathizes with her abuser…and that’s the best kind of girl…one who learned her fucking lesson…I’m joking…
I am not that I am convinced she was even abused…because if she was…Chris Brown woulda been blacklisted and Rihanna would never be seen with him no matter how damaged or in love she was…
Either way, she’s a bad influence on her teen fans…and that’s all that really matters.
Nicole Neal looks fucking hot in this Front UK shoot…and I normally don’t respond well to Glamour models cuz I like my low level nude models to be actually low level and not confused for being models…you know the kind of girl you can trick into shooting a porn or a masturbation video cuz all she wants is male attention…and not the kind of girl who is getting that male attention….you know all jacked up on ego…but this shoot…for some reason…inspires me to want to fuck her…and that’s a good fucking thing for a photoshoot to do….
Miranda Kerr was the only girl worth paying attnetion to at the Golden Globes
I watched the Golden Globes…because I wasn’t invited again this year…thank god….in fact I live tweeted them while forcing myself to stay awake for boring staged speeches, staged nominess, an overall event that doesn’t matter….where people with the silliest of jobs, part of an old boys club, who produce relative uncreative bullshit to make stupid fucking money, tell each other how good and how brace and how amazing they are…when movies don’t fucking matter….it was on some masturbatory kick…they only funny thing was Sasha Baron Cohen…because he’s a genius….the frat boys would have probably liked Will Ferrell’s bit….and the tits were really few and far between….
I tweeted so hard, twitter turned off my account and said “come back tomorrow”….
Jodie Foster had a long winded lesbian speech about being a lesbian with obvious mental issues that therapy hasn’t hashed out but has made worse….not to mention her kids look like creepy lesbian raised horror movie creatures…
Highlights include:
Mel Gibson looking like a stroked out jew hater…
Glenn Close pretending to be drunk…the theme of the night…like a shitty high school party…
Quentin Tarantino and P.T. Anderson – two greats from the 90s who do this shit for a living lost to the guy from Mallrats….and although I never saw Argo…I can say that would make me angry, you know showing the world just how easy a gig directing a hit is…
I’m not a hater…shit’s just boring….even when they threw some mystery my way with that Lena Dunham chick….who won twice and who has absolutely no business being on TV, but who clearly wanted to make herself famous and do whatever it takes to be on TV….she is built like Rosie O’Donnell, her show is apparently about anal sex, and the idea of her having anal sex makes me fucking sick….she is someone I wouldn’t want to even think about fucking, but yet she has a show about her fucking….like that would ever happen in any situation that didn’t involve her being the writer/producer and star of her own show….cuz girls like that…usually are forever alone….
It’s just another example that the world is turning into a bad SNL skit….The hosts putting fake nominees in different categories offended me….. Old Hollywood Glam has became a flash in a pan viral video…staring freaks and fucking geeks…who should be working the check out line….not getting 4,000,000 dollar book deals, movie deals and now Award Winning TV Shows…
We’re all fucking doomed….
HERE ARE THE PICS OF EVERYONE AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES AND THE AFTERPARTIES FOLLOW THIS LINK
I think I may be jaded….because I don’t find this picture hot at all…if anything I find it boring and a cheap attempt for a movie that has been all about cheap attempts to get noticed…from hiring a paparazzi to be on set to leak every bikini pic…to putting out various posters as reminders….to casting Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens to be the bikini asses in the shit…even if their bikini bodies are average at best….making the whole thing already played out but cuffed girls bending over…even if you’ve seen it before….are never really a waste of time….so I should stop hating and start staring even if the only one that’s fun is the one grabbing her ass while the others have their hands in the way….
Jessica Alba is in a recent issue of InStyle where she’s not doing anything particularly sexy…I mean she’s posing with kids toys, which unless you’re the fucking sexy nanny I am coming home to fuck while my wife is at the hair salon, I’m not entirely interested…cuz eating a pussy that I know a baby was shat out of more than once…kinda makes me fucking sick…the whole alien parasite nesting shit I just can’t wrap my mind around because I’m either autistic or because I don’t want to believe or accept that’s how we are made….but I am willing to accept that Alba still has sex appeal…only more mature…bringing out fantasy of a wife you’d want to break down year after year…ignoring her after she threw away her dreams to be with you and have your family..who doesn’t know she’s this hot….cuz you don’t show her appreciation…and who just constantly seeks your approval not knowing millions of better dudes would treat her like a queen…but her focus, like all girls is micro….and that makes her totally devoted to you cuz you are her everything….leading to better blow jobs…true story.
I saw this picture last night but was too battered from all the tweeting…coupled with the fact that I don’t give a fuck about Lady Gaga and I don’t really think the rest of the world, other than her gang of loyal freaks, care….you see cuz everything she does is for attention…a bullshit, fabricated cry for attention, tricking the retards into thinking she’s a visionary or an artist…when it’s pretty obvious and straight forward that she’s just a fucking puppet….doing fucking puppet bullshit to get noticed….that said…I’m posting the pic anyway…cuz split pants on any fat ass in a room full of 10,000 people….is kinda funny…even if this clown worked it into her nonsense juggling act!
I’m too lazy to look for the video – someone send it to me.
