It’s the eve of the most special event in the history of events…..Independence Day…and I may be a Canadian with no real ties to the USA, other than a possible father who I never met, who knocked up my Mexican prostitute mother before I was shipped off to Canada to some foster home run by […]

My wife told me that having sex with me is like removing a dry tampon only dick is smaller….despite her being fat and menopausal and even when she got her period she wore fucking diapers…that was nice of her. I am glad I am stuck with her… The other thing I am glad about is […]

Look at them tiny nips….yeah…. The nice thing about being a drunk is that you forget everything, I would assume it is the closest thing to having Alzheimers which is a good thing when you’re a disaster and like to forget…but you already know this… Tonight, I was drinking in some new bar that was […]

I spent three hours of my day sitting on a park bench staring at some woman tanning in the park, because I guess she doesn’t have access to a beach, but she was in a bikini with her top off, tits spilling out of her armpits, because I guess I don’t have a fucking life…besides […]

I realized something very tragic yesterday….and that is when Bourdain was found dead, hung in his hotel room in France, like so many other people have been found while on business trips… I DIDN’T EVEN THINK AUTO EROTIC ASPHYXIATION…that shoulda been my first instinct – that would have been my first instinct…or what I would […]

A wise man once told me that old women doing yoga and fitness and dressing trendy is kind of a waste of time because their faces are still beat the fuck up… It’s like why the fuck do they still try….was his logic… But I think a busted down face is ok, when you’re fucking […]

A homeless native prostitute drinking a 40 of beer asked me for change in a real lazy way…hand out no real song or dance or offering that would make me give her change. If you don’t have an act, and I’m not paying you for sex, I’m not throwing money at you…especially in this credit […]

I live a very boring life…and the only excitement I experienced was at the grocery store buying meat for my dog..because I accidentally got behind some stripper with two beige kids..in a sheer wifebeater with huge fake tits…wearing spandex leggings and rocking a pretty fit ass on a small frame…like really tiny frame…buying some spareribs..cuz […]

As it turns out….hanging out in a Walmart in a ghetto small town…where it is the only Walmart in the region….You get some of the whitest trash stripper looking women who look like they give solid toothless blowjobs for meth money buying toilet paper and cured meat…because that’s what living the dream is all about… […]