so this morning i wake up and it is still dark out-
no surprise, i have not slept since i swallowed 5 pills of x, hoovered my own 8 ball and didnt let any of my stepfather’s sperm drip out of my mouth (approx 2 swallows) new years eve. finally last night i got into a fight with one of the old ladies up the street-she kept accusing me of stealing her sunglasses, and i kept sucking my teeth because i am always ready to fight for my right, bitches. after i sort her out and leave her on the curb with her teeth in my pocket and a snippet of her left ear lobe around my neck (trademark doctor 2oo3) i pass out on the pavement. one of the servants must have found me and brought me back, because when i woke up i was in lingerie. this afternoon i met up with my old babysitter, rodriquez martinez. roy and i go way back to when i was 6 and my mother would only be home to pass out underneath some oil tycoon for as long as it would take him to cum and give her his life’s savings. because of this she hired roy to feed us krispy kreme and absolut with cheerios for breakfast, lunch and dinner. roy was great. everyday was a holiday with him and being his favorite (i was the only girl who was developped at the time) he spent the majority of his time with 8 of my brothers, my 4 sisters and me teaching us how to suppress our gag reflexes by putting his fists down our throats or slapping his nude thighs while he laughed as we danced around him and had pillow fights in our bathing suits. my favorite memory of roy though, is on my 12th birthday, after my bat mitzvah ceremony, roy met me outside the housegates when it was dark out and stuck his tongue in my ear, lifted me over his shoulder, put me into his wood panneled station wagon and made me bleed between my legs with his third leg (my favorite leg). i didnt tell roy any of this today when we met up, because i was not really responsive from the lines i did on the way there after the granny incident and because i was too busy waxing his butt crack while he ate me out to say much aside from “oooh yeaahhh rodriguez martinez, you’re my papi” and “this is better than when i was 12, oh oh! just like that…yeahhh”