I am – Fleshbot Summer Editor Petition

• 20 years ago

I have recently applied for a job as the part-time summer editor at Fleshbot. I am pretty sure I am not going to get it because I never get anything I ever want and people generally hate me. They probably also require a university education, writing experience and all that shit. I don’t know how to fucking write…or what grammar is, except for maybe Kelsey, I used to role with that cat back in his coke days, before he married some stripper bitch with huge implants who was in Playboy about 10 years ago and I remember her having blonde pubes which is totally wild, anyway..point of the post is to get you to petition for DrunkenStepfahter.com to be the Fleshbot summer editor by emailing Fleshbot and tellin them what’s best for them.

This is the mail link

Read my application email – after the jump – warning – it’s not funny

To: jobs@fleshbot.com

from:info@drunkenstepfather.com

Subject:Fleshbot Job Application

Hello,

Welcome to my email. My name is Jesus Martinez and I blog for you. I have a website called drunkenstepfather and have had about 4,000,000 readers since I started in January. I am the best person for the Fleshbot because of passion, my passion for reaching out to people and making their life a little better. We live in a cold scary world and I am doing my part to make it a better place.

I believe that with the support of Fleshbot, I can achieve my dreams, I just need you to believe in me. Like every person with a dream, accepting the fact that I don’t have what it takes to make it on my own is the first step to getting there. The help of others, who have skills where I am seriously lacking, is needed to “take it up a notch�. Even Hitler had dreams and, without all the support of Germany would have never achieved them. I am not like Hitler, but I like to believe you are the Germany I would need if I was. I would write a sample blog entry, but I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise. However, you may want to check out your emails over the last 6 months, you are bound to find pictures and posts that you have linked to, including today’s Hung T-Shirts.

I look forward to your response,

Jesus Martinez

DrunkenStepfather.com