I am sitting at home watching Regis and Kelly, like every good unemployed Mexican does and get all excited when they announce that Lohan is on the show. She ended up calling in sick because of “food poisoning” and was a no show, forcing Regis and Kelly to play clips of Regis singing xmas songs. We all knew Lohan was a dirty coke slut, out suckin’ dick til all hours of the night, I’ve just wanted to bring it up again and I won’t stop til Lohan doin’ lines off my dick.